People who let their cars do all the talking…

I remember back in 2010, I first encountered “bumper nuts”. Bumper nuts are rubber testicles that people put on the trailer hitches of their big trucks. I happened to see the bumper nuts on a military installation. Some really classy guy (and I know it was a guy) had put them on his big Chevy pickup truck, decorated with Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders memorabilia.

Classy! And dickless! I guess this is a sign that the truck is all boy.

This morning, a friend shared a picture of another truck that makes a statement. Why do these guys all drive trucks, anyway? And why have such an obnoxious shade of yellow?

This looks like someone I’d like to get to know… NOT!

I have to admit that I laughed when I saw this. My friend isn’t so happy about it, though. She says this person, who is evidently in the military, is parking this big yellow vehicle right next to her place of business. Her clients are getting upset by the language. She wonders if there’s anything she can do about this. Frankly, it surprises me that this guy is in the military. I mean, I’m not surprised by the “fuckin’ hick” statement, but I am surprised that this would be allowed on a military installation. I asked Bill about it and he said it’s likely someone would have complained about this on a military base. Maybe that’s why it’s always parked near my friend’s workplace off base.

I can no longer show support for my team on my vehicle… This seems less troublesome than a big yellow truck that says “Fuckin’ Hick”. On the other hand, my guess is that the driver of the yellow vehicle literally is a fuckin’ hick. Some woman probably does fuck him on the regular.

I had to remove the “Go Cocks” sticker from my car when we moved to Stuttgart, but not because anyone thought it was profane. It was because the sticker would out me as an American and potentially put me at risk for terrorists. But then, I’ve seen a number of people on European highways sporting Confederate flags on their vehicles. I wouldn’t assume they were American, because apparently there are people in Europe who identify with the Confederate flag’s “rebel” symbolism. They probably don’t know about the stigma and history associated with that flag. But if they were in South Carolina or Virginia, then yeah, they’re probably fuckin’ hicks of the all American variety.

Anyway, I know this probably isn’t funny to the average person. Or maybe it is. Bill about died laughing when I showed him that picture. We needed a good laugh. So, many thanks to the “fuckin’ hick” for obliging us.


2 thoughts on “People who let their cars do all the talking…

  1. What’s the point of rubber testicles? Do they imply that the vehcle itself has balls, or that the owner would otherwise be lacking them? I don’t quite understand the point.

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