Here’s another song parody, written for my friend, Kim, who has insomnia. The melody for the song “Deacon Blues” popped in my head because it has that kind of languid, yet frustrated, boring mood to it. It seemed perfect for a song about insomnia. My lyrics are the result of about an hour’s worth of work, so sue me if they suck. I have nothing better to do. Don’t worry, I won’t quit my non-existent day job.
Sung to the tune of “Deacon Blues” by Steely Dan
Original lyrics by Donald Jay Fagen and Walter Carl Becker (scroll down for my reworked ones)
This is the day of the expanding man
That shape is my shade
There where I used to stand
It seems like only yesterday
I gazed through the glass
At ramblers, wild gamblers
That’s all in the past
You call me a fool
You say it’s a crazy scheme
This one’s for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I’ll make it this time
I’m ready to cross that fine line
Learn to work the saxophone
I play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whiskey all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues
My back to the wall
A victim of laughing chance
This is for me
The essence of true romance
Sharing the things we know and love
With those of my kind
Libations
Sensations
That stagger the mind
I crawl like a viper
Through these suburban streets
Make love to these women
Languid and bittersweet
I rise when the sun goes down
Cover every game in town
A world of my own
I’ll make it my home sweet home
Learn to work the saxophone
I play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whiskey all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues
This is the night of the expanding man
I take one last drag
As I approach the stand
I cried when I wrote this song
Sue me if I play too long
This brother is free
I’ll be what I want to be
I learned to work the saxophone
I play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whiskey all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues
New lyrics… You can listen to me sing them, here.
This is a night I fear will never die
I toss and I turn
as moments are ticking by.
Seems like only last night
I drifted easily to sleep
Like a baby, and maybe
without counting sheep.
You call me alert
You say I should go to bed.
I’d like to, for real,
I would sleep like the dead.
So useless to close my eyes
Even as I realize
With that bright morning sun
I won’t want to rise and run.
Learn to work the slumber zone
My body just won’t obey
Drink warm milk and snuggle pillows
And lie awake anyway
They got a name for narcoleptics in the world
I want a name; I can’t snooze!
They call them sleepy, call them tired.
But I’ve got Sleepless Blues!
My back to the mattress
A victim of restlessness
This sucks a lot–
The essence of pointlessness.
Sharing the empty time
With no one else, cuz’ they’re in the void.
I’m cranky.
They’re skanky.
And I’m so annoyed.
I crawl like a baby
silently from the sheets
Tiptoe to the bathroom
and sit on the toilet seat
Pee again, and then softly flush
Quietly, the waters rush
It goes down the drain
Like this time I should rest my brain.
Learn to work the slumber zone
My body just won’t obey
Drink warm milk and snuggle pillows
And lie awake anyway
They got a name for narcoleptics in the world
I want a name; I can’t snooze!
They call them sleepy, call them tired.
But I’ve got Sleepless Blues!
This is the night I’ll never get to rest
I lie on my side,
then turn over on my breasts
My eyelids droop and twitch,
Sue me if I act like a bitch.
I can’t fall asleep!
So I’m gonna be a creep!
Learn to work the slumber zone
My body just won’t obey
Drink warm milk and snuggle pillows
And stay awake anyway
They got a name for narcoleptics in the world
I want a name; I can’t snooze!
They call them sleepy, call them tired.
But I’ve got Sleepless Blues!
Damn, Knotty! That was really nice! I love the original (have it on vinyl) and your voice is really nice to listen to in the revised version. I assume you must, at least at some point in your life, have sung in public before. Thanks for leading me to that website, too. So, anyway I am forming this band and we could use some female vocals and….
Ha ha ha… Yes, I have sung in public before. I started singing when I was 18. My parents are/were musicians, as are a bunch of my family members. It’s kind of in the blood. If you’re interested in the sordid story about how I got started, here’s a piece I wrote for my music blog. Basically, I was “discovered” by an adjunct professor at my college. She really changed my life. Incidentally, “Kim” is a friend I knew in college. She sang in choir with me and was in my voice studio. https://dungeonofthepast.blogspot.com/2014/04/how-adjunct-college-professor-changed.html
I am thoroughly impressed! And I really do love the quality of your voice. My roommate has perfect pitch, but she is untrained. Loves to sing, but she could have been really great with a little help. My father sang in choirs and my mother was a singer (but died when I was three) and I have been a duffer musician since age 10. Trombone for 6 years and guitar for the last 50 some years. I can carry a tune, but am vocally untrained. I have always been around music and consider it a part of my life. I have enjoyed your writing off and on for some time, but this “new” dimension that I had missed really adds to your mystique. Makes me even happier to know you!
Thank you for listening! To be honest, I think music is probably what I was meant to do, but more people are willing to read than listen.