Jill Dillard, wife of Derick Dillard, was just in the news for offering up sex tips to the masses. I read a couple of articles about Dillard’s advice on how to keep her man satisfied. They pretty much parrot what her mother, Michelle Duggar, said a few years ago about being “joyfully available” to her boob husband, Jim Bob.
In fairness, Ms. Dillard didn’t actually offer explicit sex tips. That wouldn’t be Duggar-like. Instead, she counsels her (female) followers to have sex three or four times a week, pray and fast for their husbands, and make sure they wear makeup and non-frumpy pajamas to bed. Huh? Makeup to bed? That sounds like a recipe for acne. She also counsels her readers to avoid masturbation. Of course, she doesn’t actually put it that way. That would be especially un-Duggar-like.
I will admit, I initially just read the articles about this topic. Then I decided to visit Jill’s blog and read the actual post. Some of her tips are good. For instance, I agree that talking to one’s spouse is important. I also agree that a wife shouldn’t act like her husband’s mother… although I can’t imagine a situation in which I would lick my finger to wipe something off of Bill’s face. That’s just nuts. Obviously, Jill has done it to Derick and he’s commanded her to stop. I think her advice about being open about spending habits is also good.
However… just like the articles implied, the overwhelming tone of her post is much like her mother’s advice to be “joyfully available”. It sounds like it’s entirely the wife’s job to keep the fire burning. The one thing I’ve learned in 16 years of marriage is that it’s a partnership. Both partners need to be on the same page. It’s not just up to one or the other.
I’m glad Jill still loves Derick, especially since they both seem to have fallen out of Boob’s favor. Derick went from a seemingly nice guy with a taste for international adventure, to an offensive twit. I used to like him. Now I think he’s an asshole, mainly for his transphobic and homophobic remarks. However, I do have a little bit of respect for him for not putting up with Boob’s shit. Or so it appears, anyway.
I don’t know if Jill and Derick will be adding to their brood. I have a feeling they planned to have more than two children. I remember when Jinger first got married, Jill asked her if she was pregnant within weeks of Jinger’s wedding. I can still picture the shocked look on Jinger’s face after such an intrusive and embarrassing question. Jinger and Jeremy famously waited over a year before they started their baby production, while Jill evidently was already pregnant by the time the honeymoon was over. And now it’s been almost two years since her last baby… an eternity in Duggar spawning years. But who knows? She might stop at two.
I’ve pretty much quit watching the Duggars, anyway. I think I watched the season before the most recent one, but I found it so boring and mundane that I decided not to watch it anymore. Instead, I follow Pickles on her Life is Not All Pickles and Hairspray page and group. The commentary in there is enough to satisfy my curiosity. Aside from that, some of the people in that group are genuinely intelligent and funny, especially with the snark they lay on the fundies.
I don’t think I need to take advice from Jill, for marriage or for cooking… Her foodie posts are notoriously nasty. But I guess Derick must like it… if he’s finally stopped gagging, that is.