Today’s post is going to be a bit graphic and will include sexual commentary. If that makes you uncomfortable, I recommend moving on to your next Internet station.
Good morning, all. Today is the first day of my 48th year. I am turning 47 today, and it’s definitely freaky. Seems like only yesterday, I was turning 7.
Anyway… I could wax poetic about my birthday, especially since it’s a religious holiday this year in Germany. It cracks me up that Germany has so many religious holidays, especially since it doesn’t seem like that many people are very religious. But they do like their days off, and on holidays, you’re supposed to refrain from doing noisy chores. My neighbors seem to be pretty laid back, but I don’t want to risk weed whacking today. I’ll just wash the sheets and vacuum instead. Does this make me sound like a “dutiful” wife? Well, I’m not really that dutiful… or beautiful, for that matter. But I am also definitely also not a “transformed wife”, like Lori Alexander.
I don’t spend a lot of time reading Lori’s controversial blog. I really only read it when someone in the Life is Not Pickles and Hairspray group shares one of her more “bizarro” posts. But as fucked up as I think some of Lori’s ideas are, especially in the 21st century, the comments made by some of her followers are just as crazy. These comments, made by a man who is evidently a regular follower of Lori’s blog, were shared yesterday.
This particular commenter has written other comments on other posts that are just as scary. He seems to be very upset that his wife denies him sex. He calls her wicked, a sexual tormentor, and a whore. Then, he wonders why she denies him sex. I don’t know about you, but I don’t find men who refer to all women as “wicked sinners in need of repentance” very attractive. And, let’s face it, if you’re not into the sex, it’s not very comfortable. Just like men have to be physically “ready” to penetrate a woman, a woman has to be physically ready to receive a man. Otherwise, it hurts.
Now… in fairness to the commenter… I do realize that some women truly do behave in a “wicked” way sometimes. Some women are mean, disrespectful, teases who use sex to get what they want. I’ve written a lot about my husband’s ex wife, who was quite willing to do most sexual things and sometimes even wanted to do things that made Bill very uncomfortable. However, although she evidently had no problem doing most “wild things”, including oral sex, Bill’s first wife also wasn’t averse to having a sudden and severe mood swing mid intercourse and telling Bill to “just hurry up and finish”. Bill, being an empathetic, kind man, would then feel horrible, because she had basically implied that he was raping her. That reaction is definitely not loving, and having now been Bill’s wife for six years longer than he was with his first wife, I KNOW for a fact that he isn’t capable of raping anyone.
I can see where that kind of behavior, while certainly within anyone’s rights, could be considered kind of cruel. If it happens habitually, I’d say it would be grounds for breaking up. Someone who regularly behaves like that during sex can’t really be trusted, and probably ought to seek therapy. To be clear– I absolutely believe that a person has the right to say “no” to sex whenever he or she wants it to be finished. But I can also see how suddenly pulling the plug in the middle of intercourse could be considered a kind of torment, especially if it happens often. In that case, I would recommend considering a divorce or a break up.
BUT… the guy who is commenting on Lori Alexander’s posts seems to take the idea that women must provide sex at all times to an extreme. In another post, he leaves this comment.
I probably shouldn’t write about this stuff, especially since it sometimes gets me into trouble and attracts comments from the unhinged. However, as regular readers know, I am one to speak or write what’s on my mind. As I read these above comments– all of which are from the same man, but were echoed by others, including some women– I can’t help but realize how many people seem dangerously attracted to an existence not unlike that of which is depicted in The Handmaid’s Tale.
Anyway… this topic is probably too heavy for my birthday. I’d like to celebrate today, but since it’s a holiday and our chosen restaurant is closed, we’re going to go out tomorrow night. Then, on Saturday, we’re going to a barbecue hosted by one of Bill’s work friends. I’m not sure what we’ll do on Sunday. Maybe we’ll venture to a fest in Mainz or somewhere else. I expect my weekend will be full and fun… but not as much fun as next weekend. 🙂 47 isn’t so bad so far. It’s probably more fun than I deserve, being such a “wicked” woman and all…