Sweating to Bible Verses!

Yesterday, right after my daily nap, I happened to run across a funny video someone compiled of a Christian aerobics teacher who had a show called Believercise. The compilation was all kinds of crazy. It made me laugh out loud to see the 80s era outfits, hairstyles, and crazy eyes. Then there was the music… Check this out!

I love a little Amy Grant with my stirrup tights. As she jumps, I half expect her foot to slip and send her crashing to the floor.

In this clip, she looks like Sandy Squirrel or something. Look at those shorts and socks!

Sweating to Bible verses.

Not for nothing, though… I like Amy Grant. I think she is genuinely a very talented musician. I like her even better since she went secular and married Vince Gill. Some of her Christian songs are genuinely good, even though I don’t generally like Contemporary Christian Music (CCM) at all… especially 80s era CCM.

Oh lord… I just can’t with this. I see the comments were disabled on this video. Wonder why…

The compilation video was even funnier than these clips are, mainly because whoever did the editing found the craziest of the crazy parts and strung them all together.

Yeah, she really brought the crazy!

After I watched a few of these cringeworthy videos, I went looking to see if any other “Christian” aerobics videos from the 80s exist. Sure enough, I found one. It’s called Blessercise, and it stars the ever perky Mary Chapian. I’m not sure if her name is Mary or Marie, because when I went looking for more information about her, I found a lot of references to a Christian writer named Marie Chapian. Marie looks a lot like Mary and is about the right age to be making this video (she’s 80 now)… but maybe they’re twins.

Nice crotch shot! You can barely hear her chirpy voice over the cheesy Christian pop.

I wonder where this was distributed. Was it shown on a Christian TV station like CBN or PTL? I grew up near CBN’s headquarters and we had a local channel called WYAH that aired on regular TV. They did air exercise shows. I seem to remember they used to have “Morning Stretch” with Joannie Greggains on in the wee hours of the morning. They did not air this show, as far as I can remember. Seems like this would have been perfect, though. Christians could get up in the morning and get their Jazzercise on, listening to peppy God inspired tunes. On an unrelated note, I miss independent TV stations. You never knew what you’d see. Same thing with independent radio stations. Nowadays, everything is owned by a big corporation and syndicated.

It looks kind of like Mary and her minions tried to dress modestly, but I don’t think they quite pull it off. The leotards they’re wearing are really not much less revealing than regular leotards would be. But back in the 80s, it seemed like people were more moderate than they are now. Or, at least that’s how it seems to me.

According to a YouTube comment, this video is called “Take Charge with Cheryl & Friends“. Cheryl Prewitt was Miss America in 1980. The video was made in 1986 and it looks like some of Cheryl could shave off some free time by spending less time shellacking her hair.

I wonder if JimBob Duggar has considered having his daughters make an exercise video? I wonder what they’d wear. They’ve released an album, written books, had TV shows that bored the masses, so why not have an exercise video for Christians who want to work out with fundies? It would be interesting to see what they’d wear… and what music they’d use. Boob doesn’t like dancing or music with a beat that might lead to anyone beating off. But banning those things in his household didn’t stop his son from molesting Boob’s daughters. Why not loosen up on the music “standards” and get the girls in leotards? I bet some guys would buy the videos simply so they could watch them, a la Alyssa Milano’s video from 1988.

Ahh… the 80s were a fun time to be alive… I think my favorite of the Christian aerobics videos is the one done by the Believercise lady. Her name is Cathi Stout and she’s from Texas. She made her videos in the 80s, starting in her living room. They went “viral” 80s style. I guess people took them seriously back then. Maybe some people still do. They just make me laugh. Exercise is a good thing. So is laughter. I think I’d rather take a walk, but if some people want to Blessercize, Believercise, or Take Charge of Their Lives, more power to ’em. I’ll just sit here and giggle.


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