This morning on Facebook, I was reminded of a silly discussion that erupted on my page two years ago. It involved my late Uncle Brownlee’s brother-in-law, Ralph. Ralph used to be a Facebook friend, but I deleted him at some point. It probably had a lot to do with the post from two years ago. I do remember writing about this in 2017, but my old blog is no longer available to the uninvited. I think this is a topic worth revisiting, and I can’t think of another right now. So here goes…

Two years ago, I told someone to “fuck off” because he insulted me. He deleted his post, but Ralph decided to chastise me for using the f-word, anyway. This is what Ralph wrote.

Bad words are a dead end. No place on FB.

I was irritated by this comment because it wasn’t the first time he chastised me publicly for cursing on my Facebook page. So I responded thusly:

If it bothers you, you can always hit the fucking unfriend button. Spare yourself and me a lot of fucking grief. I am 45 years old and I will cuss if I fucking want to. Got it?

I actually felt kind of guilty for responding this way, mainly because I was raised not to swear. But I do swear. I swear a whole fucking lot. Some people hate that about me, but others think it’s great. I can’t please everyone. Besides, if the worst you can say about me is that I swear too much, I figure I’m doing alright. Of course, many people can think of worse things about me. Most folks seem to have an issue with the fact that I express myself too much and say or write things they don’t want to hear or read.

Ralph responded with this:

Why cuss words? A valid issue or concern can do without. Get mad, threatek NJ mm w u atbis by th r poin5 Il)

I was confused by this comment, so I wrote:

Why not cuss words? I am a grown woman and I can cuss if I want to. Besides, I don’t believe in bad words. The concept of a word being good or bad is ridiculous. Words are neutral. The word “fucking”, for instance, is only bad because English speakers say it is. There is a community in Austria called Fucking. Do you think they chastise people for swearing when someone speaks of their town?

Instead of having a constructive dialog, though, Ralph stooped to condescension. That’s probably why I kicked him off my page. Actually, before he condescended to me, he insulted Bill for “double dipping”. Ralph has a lot of nerve making that comment, since he’s the king of double dipping. He draws retirement pay from the Army and the Virginia State Police. Even if Bill does “double dip” by earning a salary and retirement pay, what the hell has that got to do with anything? And why is it anyone’s business? There’s no shame in “double dipping”, especially in Europe. It beats being poor.

Deep thought 
All generated by use of bad words 
Holy smoke. Wish that was a ll I had to deal with ij.my life right now÷

Huh? Here was my response.

I don’t know what the hell you’re trying to say here, but I would appreciate it if you would let me be me. I’m not a bad person, nor am I stupid or in need of special guidance from my elders. I promise you that when I need to be articulate, I can be articulate. I don’t even have to use what you refer to as “bad words”. But I choose to swear sometimes and that is my right as a grown ass American. If it offends you, there are steps you can take to spare yourself the injury. I, for one, will fucking cuss as much and whenever I want to… especially on Facebook. Good night.

Unfortunately, like most of my relatives and their associates, Ralph was dismissive.

You go girl. Get it all out.

I was a tad more respectful in my response than I probably should have been.

You know I will. And I know you have heard worse than I’ll ever say.

In retrospect, I probably should have just told him to go fuck himself. It would have had the same effect. I don’t know why I bother trying to have a civilized conversation with some people. The older I get, the less I’m inclined to keep trying to talk to them. I guess this is my baggage… growing up in a family where most people didn’t take me seriously and discounted most everything I had to say. I’ll admit that I don’t always say smart or interesting things, but I’m not dumb, nor am I in need of special help from my elders. I’m long beyond having been raised. Take it or leave it. And let me cuss if I want to. I’m allowed. If you don’t like it, you know what you can do… and where you can go.

In other news… my sweet Zane has swollen submandibular lymph nodes. Naturally, I am concerned about cancer– namely lymphoma. However, I have some hope that the swelling is related to a dental problem, since the nodes aren’t huge and one side is bigger than the other is. His teeth and gums are pretty nasty and he’s due for a dental cleaning. However, he’s also covered with lumps and has had mast cell tumors. He’s also got a bit of a potbelly, which concerns me a little bit.

On the positive side, Zane is still bright, pooping and peeing, wants to eat soft stuff, and still loves to take walks. Really, he wants to eat everything, but I suspect dry food might hurt to eat. We’re going to get him to the vet. Hopefully, at the very least, they can give him something that makes him feel better. And if it’s just his teeth, we can get that sorted out.