Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, Duggars, Reality TV, Trump

Arm Tootsie…

Special thanks to Wikipedia user Evan-Amos for granting the right to use this photo of a Tootsie Roll.

This morning, Bill and I were enjoying our morning coffee and the subject of reality TV came up. I am in a Facebook group dedicated to snarking on the Duggar family, even though I don’t watch their shows anymore. They’ve simply gotten to be too boring and hypocritical for me to invest the time or money in watching what they do anymore. However, it is kind of fun to read comments from like minded people. I’ve also found that group to be full of bright women who share interesting articles about politics and religion.

Someone shared an article about how Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar have wormed their way back into the most recent season of Counting On. I remarked that the Duggars are no different than Donald Trump. Not even a salacious sex scandal can keep them off my TV. And yet they preach about living clean, wholesome, “Christian” lifestyles while they protect their eldest son, Josh, from facing prosecution for molesting his sisters and a babysitter, and marital ramifications for cheating on his long suffering wife, Anna. In the same way, Donald Trump brags about molesting women, yet is championed by the “Christian” right for speaking out against abortion. Trump, of course, gives less than a shit about abortion. He just says what the “Christian right” wants to hear. Case in point… here’s a link to a photo showing the orange menace cozying up to a pastor at a Baptist Christian college. Nauseating and hypocritical as hell… this man grabs women by their pussies, after all. Even if this photo is “shopped”, look at the comments from all the Christian Trump worshipers. It makes no sense whatsoever.

I told Bill that I don’t watch the Duggars on TV anymore because I find them too dull and depressing, but I do still watch the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders’ show on CMT. However, even though I’ve been watching DCC on CMT since 2007, I think I might stop after this season. Why? Because that show has also gotten boring, repetitive, and full of gimmicks. I mean, it’s the same shit every year. They show these impossibly beautiful, talented, and mostly intelligent women donning spandex at their physical peaks. Being beautiful isn’t enough to be a DCC, though. They have to be able to kick high, dance long, and fake being nice to everyone. Some of them keep trying out year after year, only to be cut at the last minute.

I think about how seriously the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders’ powers that be take themselves, as these women make a pittance dancing for a famous football team. They are required to maintain a look that includes full makeup at all times, great clothes, hair done perfectly and sometimes with extensions, expensive haircuts, and color jobs, and apparently, false eyelashes. To make the team, they have to invest in expensive costumes and dance classes. And yet, they don’t get paid for a lot of this stuff. Every year, Kelli Finglass and Judy Trammell talk about how tough the audition is, that it’s tougher than even Broadway… but they don’t pay the women enough that they could make cheerleading their job.

Okay… so it’s cool that they can perform with Queen, even without Freddie Mercury. I would consider that a perk, although I’d rather sing than dance. 😉

So what is the draw? They get to wear that unforgiving uniform, shaking their asses in front of thousands of people. And sometimes, they end up meeting someone that can improve their stations in life. I have read about former cheerleaders going on to marry wealthy men, launching careers in show business, or otherwise latching on to a more luxurious or prestigious lifestyle. That’s a powerful draw, but God forbid if one of the cheerleaders tells Kelli or Judy that they see being a DCC as a “stepping stone” or that “they make the uniform”. It’s almost like they’ve joined a cult– you’d better not presume to be more powerful than a polyester uniform that barely covers your body. You’d better not admit that you hope the DCC will lead you to bigger and better things in life, even if the pay is less than minimum wage. You’d better make them believe that DCC is it– and that there is nothing better. It’s the pinnacle of your showbiz career.

Well… I think that’s ridiculous and kind of sad. It’s almost as sad as a 47 year old woman like me watching the show, although I will admit that it’s fun to watch them dance on the rare occasions that dancing is shown. But even CMT must realize that the show is getting stale, because now they’re bringing in new choreographers who have become famous thanks to shows like So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing With the Stars. They show us scripted “natural” outings featuring the women getting facials or hanging out at the dog park. And they’ve brought on former DCC Melissa Rycroft, who doesn’t interest me that much, but is herself a DWTS winner. We no longer see DCC wannabes getting their body fat measured at fancy Dallas spas or being put through their paces by Jay Johnson. Instead, we see guest choreographers helping Kelli and Judy pick the new team. I did enjoy the most recent choreographers, Evan Miller, and Tyce Diorio, although Miller should have spit out his gum before filming.

Seriously… spit out the gum!

Anyway, all of this discussion leads me to the title of today’s post. I told Bill that there was a time when being a DCC meant you might wind up the “arm candy” of some wealthy or powerful guy. I don’t think that’s necessarily still the case, but it might be for some of the women. Unfortunately, in many cases, being “arm candy” is a temporary gig, since the people who are most often looking for “trophies” to show off tend to get bored, and want a younger, prettier model, even as they’re getting older and less attractive. I don’t think such relationships typically have much staying power in the long run. There are some exceptions, of course.

And then I laughed and said, “I mean, I know I’m arm candy for you, Bill… or maybe I’m more like an arm Tootsie Roll.” I expected him to laugh, but I didn’t hear him chuckle, so I asked “You don’t think that’s funny?”

“Actually, it’s hilarious.” Bill said. I have my moments, sometimes.

Speaking of trash… yesterday, someone called me trash because I reminded her that she worships a man who brags about molesting women. A Facebook friend said Donald Trump was “trash”. She took offense and argued with him, and I wrote this:

…guess you would enjoy having him grab you by the pussy with his tiny orange hands. He absolutely is trash. If he weren’t filthy rich, he would never so much as get a security clearance for a low level government job. In fact, he would probably be in prison for rape or extortion.

And her very eloquent and intellectual response was this:

You are trash to say that to me!

I found her comment amusing, so this was my response. I will admit to being “condescending”, which I prefer not to be when possible, because I don’t like it when people patronize me. But I also think she kind of deserved it…

I’m “trash”, huh? Is that all you’ve got? At least I don’t worship men who brag about molesting women. You have a nice day, dear.

I mean, Trump literally got caught BRAGGING about “grabbing women by the pussy”. He confesses to hitting on women he knows are married. Trump is absolutely the type of man who wants “arm candy” at his side and discards them when they get to be too old and/or unattractive. And yet, people like this woman who thinks I’m “trash” worship him. I don’t understand it. I wonder if she considers herself a “Christian”, too. Does she think calling a perfect stranger “trash” for correctly pointing out Trump’s hypocrisy is a Christian thing to do?

But then, I also don’t understand how the Duggar family is still on TV. I guess it’s because of people like me, giving them airtime. Well, I’m working on weaning myself off of trashy reality TV. Maybe next year, I’ll give up on the DCC, too. I might even become an Arm Dairy Milk for Bill. I’ve got goals, you know.