Today’s post is a very frank discussion of a certain hateful word toward women. Please don’t read this if you can’t handle it. It’s going to be quite raw and probably offensive.
Yesterday’s post is bleeding into today’s post… Heh heh heh… I wrote “bleeding”. Just got off the rag myself, because a certain part of my body has been bleeding this week. Monthly periods are a by product of being able to make babies. I won’t lie. They’re gross. But without that body function, none of us would be alive.
Apparently, some men feel that the vulgar word referring to that part of a woman’s body is the best insult to hurl at a woman… any woman at all. I got called a “cunt” on Facebook yesterday. I probably should have thought to take screen shots of the exchange, but I decided not to. I was on my iPad and it wasn’t convenient.
I was reading ol’ Ron’s inane conspiracy post about how the Democrats and the Chinese are colluding to destroy our American economy by spreading a dangerous viral pandemic and killing thousands of people. I read some of the comments on that post. A guy named “Bill”– not MY Bill, but another Bill that, in this post, I’ll call “‘ol Bill”– posted a meme featuring a picture of Donald Trump with both of his middle fingers in their upright and locked positions. The meme in question kind of looked like today’s featured photo, except both of Trump’s middle fingers were raised. It was obviously intended to be rude and insulting to anyone who isn’t a Trump fan. The meme included the caption, “Still your president.” And, with the raised fingers added the non-written sentiment, “so fuck you…”
I don’t usually respond to stuff like that, but for some reason, yesterday I was feeling kind of saucy. Maybe it’s all this social isolation and boredom that did me in, and my utter exhaustion at being confronted by boorish Trump lovers. So I posted the below picture… Actually, I posted a GIF, but this came up on my memories today and was convenient for this post…
I noticed that ol’ Bill had a photo of himself and, apparently, his son as his profile picture, with a caption indicating that he’s in favor of “men’s rights“. My guess is that he and the mother of his son are embroiled in a custody dispute, since ol’ Bill’s Facebook page was full of pictures of a young male child, Trump quotes, and comments about how it’s not fair that women get custody of children more often than men do.
For the record, I’m not totally against men’s rights, particularly when it comes to child custody issues. I strongly believe that, post birth, fathers must have parental rights, too, unless there is a damned good reason for them not to have them. I also think that some mothers should not have unbridled access to their children. My own husband, Bill, was denied contact with his daughters for almost their entire childhoods. Bill’s abusive ex wife is a terrible mother and, as we’ve recently learned, regularly uses her children to hurt other people. Bill’s ex puts her kids through hell. I still kick myself for not reporting Bill’s ex wife to child protective services, although back when it would have mattered, we didn’t have nearly as much information as we have today. I did struggle with the decision back then, but opted not to call, since we were in Virginia and they were in Arizona. I now know that my gut instinct was right on, and we should have reported her, fallout be damned.
In any case, if conservative, Trump loving, ‘ol Bill had gotten to know me, he might find that I do have some empathy for his plight. I’m not impressed by his political leanings, but the fact that he’s a Trumper doesn’t necessarily mean that he isn’t a good father. But I never got to tell him that, because unfortunately, ‘ol Bill then went right below the belt with a misogynistic insult. And I couldn’t help but think that maybe the mother of his son is right to keep the boy away from his father, who obviously hates women– or at least has a problem with them having any say.
I knew I’d struck a nerve by posting back to ‘ol Bill, even with a non profane picture of Trump with a frog on his face. I had a feeling that trolling him would be like shooting fish in a barrel. Just for fun, I called ‘ol Bill an off brand buttplug– a toy that can be enjoyed by anyone. I have to confess that it wasn’t an original insult. I read it in a hilarious open letter to Donald Trump and thought it was funny. I guess that hurt ‘ol Bill’s feelings, though, because next, he went right for my reproductive parts by coming back with this…
Once again, I chose not to respond to ‘ol Bill with a meme. Instead, I wrote “Trump supporters aren’t known for being deep thinkers. I don’t care that you think I’m a cunt. I think you’re a load that should have been swallowed.” And that was the end of our discussion. I didn’t get any other notifications from ‘ol Bill. Hours later, I discovered that ‘ol Bill had blocked me, which suits me fine. As George Carlin would say, “you don’t want to have anything to do with an asshole like that.” I was glad he quit engaging, because it’s a strain to be vulgar to strangers and, if I’m honest, after the first couple of barbs, it ceases to be fun.
Before ‘ol Bill blocked me, I took an even longer look at his Facebook page. I could see that he has a young son that he apparently doesn’t get to see as often as he would like. I can only assume that the reason ‘ol Bill doesn’t see his son very often is because, for whatever reason, the boy’s mother doesn’t cooperate with him. And maybe that makes ‘ol Bill feel hateful toward her, and by proxy, all other women who take him on, especially on social media. Maybe that’s also why he admires Donald Trump. Trump openly disdains women, and doesn’t mind trying to put them in their places by making disgusting, gender specific comments about them and treating them like sex objects. For all I know, ‘ol Bill is actually a sweet person with a good heart. But I think he was hateful to me because I am a stranger who happens to own a body part that has ultimately caused him significant pain. And, just like the child he doesn’t see enough of, he’s lashing out in a childish way by going nuclear with the c-word.
I don’t usually engage with people like ‘ol Bill. I find that it’s a waste of time and energy, even if it’s sometimes fun to watch them squirm. I probably responded to him yesterday because I was so shocked by the sheer stupidity of that post by “‘ol Ron” and thousands of people posting who were patting him on the back for his non-sensical drivel about how evil liberals are. I’m tired of the daily Trump shitshow, the lack of civility and interest in working together for the common good, and the idiocy that is inspired by Trump’s non-stop lunacy. I’m offended by people who openly taunt those of us who are sincerely worried and upset about Trump’s disastrous leadership, particularly when they do it in a profane way. Every once in awhile, God help me, I simply can’t resist.
But today’s post isn’t so much about Trump and Trump’s seemingly hellbent intention of destroying the country. Today I want to address men who think the word “cunt” is the best weapon to use in an argument with a woman. Guys, the fact is, it’s not. In fact, whether or not the word “cunt” is offensive depends on where you’re from. In the United Kingdom and Australia and other British influenced cultures, the word “cunt” is not even all that gender specific. Calling someone a cunt in England is akin to saying they’re stupid. It’s just like the word “fag”, which is so offensive in the United States, is not at all offensive in England, where it’s a slang term for cigarettes. As George Carlin would say, the words are totally neutral and innocent. Words are just tools. It’s the intention behind them that make them “good” or “bad”.
Please tell me. Why should I care if someone like ‘ol Bill calls me a cunt? Am I supposed to be hurt that some strange guy I’ve never even met supposedly thinks I’m a cunt? I don’t even know ‘ol Bill, and he doesn’t know me, so his comment isn’t personal. He’s certainly not the first person to call me a cunt. I’ve survived every other time someone’s called me that. He was simply lashing out, and my retort that he’s a load that should have been swallowed apparently cut him deeply enough to block me. It shouldn’t have, though. I was simply giving him what he put out… and I don’t know him, so whether or not his mother should have spat or swallowed instead of conceiving him is immaterial to me.
For all I know, ‘ol Bill is not an off brand buttplug. He might be a swell guy, like my Bill is. I do think, however, that he asks for insults by taunting people with stupid memes featuring Donald Trump with his middle fingers raised. I mean, if you respect Trump, why would you use his picture to insult perfect strangers? The middle finger is, in and of itself, intended to be rude. When you use a world leader to put out that message, it becomes more personal and offensive. That meme wouldn’t have drawn the same reaction if ‘ol Bill had used a stick figure with middle fingers raised instead of Trump’s picture. But he started our unfortunate encounter by using Trump to insult all comers. Is he surprised someone called him out for doing that? Would he have had the same reaction if I’d been a man?
The word “cunt” to an American woman is supposed to be a deeply personal, hurtful insult. If someone I loved and respected– say my dear husband, Bill– called me a cunt, I would probably be very hurt and angry. But honestly, when some guy I don’t know or respect calls me a cunt, supposedly to put me in my place, all I really feel like doing is laughing at the stupidity of it. Especially when I can see on the guy’s Facebook page that a fellow cunt owner has obviously deeply injured him and has apparently made him hate every other cunt owner out there. And yet… I highly doubt that ‘ol Bill is gay, so deep down, he probably enjoys interactions with cunts. His pecker probably craves the occasional meeting with that particular part of a woman’s anatomy. Indeed, it was a cunt that provided Bill with everything– from his own life, to the life of the boy whose photos are plastered all over his Facebook page.
Yes… besides ‘ol Bill’s mother, who probably had conventional sex with ‘ol Bill’s father and passed the baby version of ‘ol Bill through her cunt, another “cunt” has also given something very precious to ‘ol Bill. Now, it appears that the owner of the cunt ‘ol Bill’s son sprang from has taken away that gift by denying him equal access to the boy. So now, ‘ol Bill responds by championing misogynists like Donald Trump and attacking women he doesn’t even know with a very insulting word that is usually meant for the end of a heated argument.
Like I said, the word “cunt”, in the American style, is supposedly designed to be cruel, hateful, and demeaning. But it really only has power if the person on the receiving end cares about the opinion of the person who said it. And beyond thinking about ‘ol Bill’s “insult” for the purpose of writing this post, I genuinely don’t care that he called me that word, even if he really does think I’m a cunt. People I have known, loved, and respected have said much worse things to me than ‘ol Bill did. It’s probably because of those people that I engaged with ‘ol Bill in the first place, because I have my own anger issues.
So… to all of you guys out there who feel that calling a woman a “cunt” is the worst thing you can do– particularly if you also add the word “fat” in front of it, I have news for you. It’s very likely that the woman you’re calling a cunt doesn’t give a shit about your opinion. In fact, most of us know that most of you crave access to our cunts and that’s your very specific and pathetic weakness. When you resort to using that word to demean women, you’re really just showing us how weak and sad you are because some woman in your life hurt you and denied you access to her body… and you are reminding us that when it comes down to it, without cunts, you wouldn’t even be here. I suggest you come up with something else.
And… if you are an obvious Trump supporter calling me a cunt, just know that I think it’s hilarious, and you might even inspire me to write about you. Because, just like ‘ol Bill and Donald Trump, you’re stupid and ultimately powerless. A stronger leader than Trump wouldn’t have daily meltdowns on TV and Twitter, and blame other people for his own obvious failures and egregious mistakes. It’s true that Trump is in charge right now, but one day, he definitely won’t be. And you’ll be on the wrong side of history, just like Hitler’s supporters are.
Now… I’m off to give my cunt some much needed attention.
4 thoughts on “I don’t care if strange men call me the c-word…”
It took me a while to get used to hearing my British friends freely using that word. I also developed the philosophy (while at Epinions) that if someone I already know I don’t like insults me, that’s like a double-negative so it’s really a good thing.
I doubt ol’ Bill is a sweet, swell guy. Probably some of what you’ve seen is the reason his ex is keeping his kid from him. I know someone who has two kids by the same person, 10 year difference and she’s been successful at keeping the younger one from being exposed to him. The kid is great, the older one idolizes his father and is struggling. The guy has major issues and shouldn’t be around the kids until he decides to straighten out. I’m usually in the camp of “this is who you chose to be the father of your child(ren), he has rights,” but in some cases they are better off. Same can be said of the mother at times as well.
Well, like I said, I don’t know the guy at all, and he doesn’t know me. But using the c-word and then blocking the other person when you get what you ask for is pretty weak. And if he calls his son’s mother a cunt on a regular basis, it probably offers us a glimpse at his parenting skills. Either way, I am more amused than anything else. 😀
Can you imagine what our world could be if people learned how to be unoffendable? If we could talk honestly and openly with others about difficult situations without choosing to be offended by words…
We collectively lose our humanity when we individually choose superiority.
It would definitely be a different world.
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