Trump

Clorox and Lysol anal probes? Why not?

Like a lot of people, I was pretty shocked to read about Donald Trump’s musings that we all inject ourselves with Lysol and Clorox and get exposed to more UV rays. I was even more shocked this morning when I saw that many major news outlets, including The New York Times, ran articles imploring people not to follow The Donald’s advice. Alas, they are probably right to make the statement, since there are people out there who are stupid. Seriously stupid. Remember the couple from Arizona who decided to ingest fish tank cleaner because Trump said a cleaning additive called chloroquine phosphate would help cure coronavirus? The wife wound up in critical condition and the husband went into cardiac arrest and died. So, for that reason, it makes sense for newspapers and other media outlets to instruct the public not to inject themselves with bleach and/or Lysol. Some people really do take Trump’s word as gospel. The papers would also do well to remind these folks not to pour sulfuric acid on their genitals, either.

Dude… you don’t even know what you’re talking about. STFU.

By now, it should be pretty clear that Trump doesn’t care much about your health. He cares about your vote and your dollars. And if you’re nice to him, maybe he’ll help you out, but only if you can do something for him. So I wouldn’t take his advice on most matters, but especially those that have to do with health. I have read comments from apologists who say Trump was being “sarcastic” and/or “thinking out loud”, and we should give him a break. My thing is, the orange disaster has been in office now for over three years. He should know that it’s not smart to make unrehearsed statements or discuss things with a hot mike. Decide what you’re going to say before you get on TV and make an ass of yourself… and/or make statements that could seriously harm people.

No, you weren’t being sarcastic, chicken dick. And even if you were, that would have been extraordinarily inappropriate under the circumstances. Why not act like a real leader?

People are still stubbornly championing this guy, though, despite his incredibly asinine comments. They whine about how we haven’t given Trump a chance. Like I said, he’s been in office for three very long years. He’s had a chance, and he’s fucking things up. I’m not surprised, since Trump’s talents mostly involve fucking… either actual fucking with women (and reportedly, girls) or figuratively fucking the people with whom he does business. I have yet to see a single shred of evidence that he cares about the people he’s supposedly serving. I have seen a lot of toddler-esque temper tantrums, blame shifting, passing the buck, and lectures to especially female reporters, demanding that they “calm down” and stop being so “nasty”.

I can barely stand to listen to him myself or look at his mouth, which always looks like a urinal to me… I have never felt this way about any other president in my lifetime. In fact, as much as I dislike Mitt Romney, I think he would be 10,000 times the president Trump is. And I never liked George W. Bush or Bill Clinton, but they are both about 50,000 times better… and Obama is not even in the same league as Trump. I never paid much attention to Obama when he was the president, but now I delight in hearing him speak because he doesn’t sound like an arrogant buffoon with an intellectual disability.

The jokes about Trump’s latest ridiculous suggestions have been fast and furious. One friend shared this photo with me.

Yeah… this is the ticket to health and prosperity!

Another shared this…

*May also kill you… but maybe death would be preferable?

I started thinking about the old jokes about anal probes from aliens. It occurred to me that some people are so brainwashed and lacking in critical thinking skills that if Trump suggested anal probes that were impregnated with Lysol and Clorox, there would be a contingent of people who would happily shove them up their asses. And The New York Times would write more articles warning people not to wear anal probes because Trump said so… but unfortunately, the people who most need that information would not be the type to read The New York Times… or anything else, for that matter.

Cartman probably admires Trump.
But Trump’s anal probes would probably be more like the Kids in the Hall’s version of anal probing…

Anyway… as usual, Trump lies and deflects and passes blame to others… and people still think he’s great. But maybe Trump really is onto something with the Lysol. My friend DeNeil says that Lysol’s original use was douching. Yes, it’s spring, and time for spring cleaning, but I don’t think I want to clean my private parts with Lysol. I guess somewhere along the line, someone came up with the idea that Lysol is better for killing germs on surfaces that aren’t made of flesh and blood.

Yow! The things we do for love!
This seems somewhat gentler…

Well, anyway, I think I’ll keep taking health advice from people who know something about it. But, like Anderson Cooper, I’ll still be shocked by the things Trump says and does… and then denies.

No Trump… you said it. It’s on camera. Own it. Grow up.

I think that’s about all I have the heart to write about today. I hope you’re all staying healthy and not listening to Trump, except maybe to laugh at him. And if he ever does suggest probing your anus with Lysol and Clorox, please turn the channel and debrief yourself. But don’t debrief yourself by taking off your underwear and sticking something caustic up your ass.

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13 thoughts on “Clorox and Lysol anal probes? Why not?

  1. Susan See says:

    I’ve got some vintage magazines, and I’ve seen the Lysol ads and thought, “No way!!” But folks did it then and they’ll do it again now. I hope they don’t, but I’m waiting for that news flash.

  2. Pingback: The emperor has no clothes… – The Overeducated Housewife

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