Special thanks to Mary Ellen for the inspired blog post title…

Yesterday, as Bill and I were on our way home from the Eifel, we were listening to my iPod and Merle Haggard’s hit song “I Think I’ll Just Stay Here and Drink” came on. It occurred to me as I listened that I could probably play that song. It’s basically three chords repeated over and over again. Granted, I’m not skilled enough to do the guitar solos yet, but I sure can follow the chord progressions. They aren’t hard. They don’t even require a capo.

Yesterday afternoon, I finally picked up my guitar again, having taken the weekend off from playing it. I turned on Merle Haggard’s classic ditty and made my first attempt at playing along. Sure enough, I was successful. I felt momentarily self-congratulatory, then realized that song could be my own personal anthem. When Mary Ellen wrote “Three chords and the truth”, I realized that could be a fun song title… And it’s also high time I wrote another one of my famous parodies, particularly since I am getting so fucking tired of Facebook.

Maybe that’s what I’ll do today. Bill went in to work, since our Internet service is uncharacteristically fragile right now. He needs to be able to use his Internet connection without fear of being bumped. The house is empty, except for Arran. Maybe it’s time I wrote a song… and even played along with it. My playing is still so rough that it might not even be recognizable as a cover of anyone else’s song. And I can make up some funny or wry lyrics about life.

It might take me some time to accomplish this little project. I can probably come up with the lyrics quickly, but the music and guitar playing will take time and effort. But why the hell not? I’ve always wanted to write a song. And I am soooo tired of reading most Facebook posts. It’s not even fun anymore, since most of it is either about some kind of social justice issue or another tutorial on public health matters. Much like Merle Haggard’s song, it’s basically the same three chords played over and over again, with only slight embellishments and variations. Lately, I’ve been especially irritated by the following meme that’s floating around.

To be clear… I did spend the whole weekend complying with the face mask requirements, just as I have the whole time this stupid virus mess has been going on. However, I haven’t actually worn the mask much because I have been staying home instead of mingling with sanctimonious idiots who make it their mission to judge what other people are doing instead of focusing on their own damned business.

Is it a bad thing that instead of going out and mingling with people while wearing a mask, I sit at home and play guitar and write in my blog? Is it a bad thing that I’d rather be in the privacy of my own home, unharassed by virtue signaling busybodies, than out and about with other people’s eyes on what I’m doing and “silently judging me” for it? If I sit at home, my germs stay home. Man, I think living in America must really suck right now. Everyone is judging each other and acting like cops.

One really refreshing thing about living in Germany is that people here completely understand that the masks suck. They are willing to wear them because they are community minded people, and they want this shit to be in the past as soon as possible. But make no mistake… I haven’t seen a lot of cheerleaders here insisting that everyone else get on their goddamned bandwagon and react with indignant outrage when someone has the nerve to say something that counters the pro-mask narrative. The masks suck. They do. Deal with it, and don’t harass people for saying that the masks suck. If I want to complain, what’s it to you? Particularly if I comply as I complain? The best thing to do is to take your own public health advice, socially distance, and leave me alone. Edited to add: it does occur to me that I don’t see the cheerleaders here because I don’t make a concerted effort to read things that are written in German unless I have a really good reason to. I don’t need to be preached at in German, so that could be why I’m not seeing any hostile cheerleaders.

A couple of people on my friends list shared the above meme. I saw it right after I saw a thoughtful but irritating comic strip shared on a page called “Woman with a Brain“. This thing was originally posted on Medium.com, but now it’s making the rounds on Facebook. It’s not that I don’t agree with what’s written… it’s more that I’m really tired of reading this kind of politically correct lecturing shit on Facebook. It makes me wonder if the people who spread this stuff are hoping I’ll give them a cookie or something.

When did social media become the place where everyone feels the need to “set a good example” for everyone else? When did it become the preferred medium for preaching to other people about how they should think and feel? Why do people feel like they need to take it upon themselves to “correct” other people’s behaviors and opinions, particularly when they are complete strangers? And why do people think that angrily confronting people, particularly when they are total strangers, is going to make them want to change their behaviors and opinions? In my experience, that kind of confrontation has the exact opposite effect. Moreover, when you point your finger at someone, there are usually at least three fingers pointing back at you. Isn’t Facebook supposed to be fun? There was a time when it kind of was… although it was probably at least four years ago.

I wondered if other people felt the same as I do; so last night, I asked my friends if Facebook is fun anymore. Quite a few friends responded with the simple word “no”. A few mentioned ways that Facebook is still fun. One friend went as far as to post a picture of me when we both waited tables in Williamsburg, Virginia. I will admit– that was fun to see! I was quite a bit thinner and had a cute, short, professionally done haircut, and a big smile on my face. However, make no mistake about it– that was one of the toughest times of my life. I was never so physically sick so often; I was taking high doses of expensive antidepressants; and although I was thinner, I was a lot more depressed and anxious than I am now. It was still fun to see those photos, though. I met some really good people during that time period and many of them are still friends today. Even when things really sucked for me personally, they didn’t totally suck.

That’s the kind of stuff I like seeing on Facebook– good memories with old friends, thought provoking articles, things that make me laugh or are entertaining… not the fucking lessons on how to wear a face mask, admonitions about how strangers are “judging” me on what I’m doing or not doing to “flatten the curve”, or how I should feel about #BlackLivesMatter or #BlueLivesMatter or any of the other social justice causes that are trending right now. Since I am an adult, no one else is qualified to tell me how I should feel, what my opinions should be, or how I should behave. You want to judge me for it or call me a “spoiled brat”? I can’t stop you. But I also wonder why you think I, or anyone else, should care about what you think about me. Frankly, your “silent judgements [sic]” should remain just that, and as long as they do, who gives a shit?

And that, my friends, is the truth… as I see it, anyway. So, now that I’ve written this, I’m going to see if I can write a song called “Three Chords and the Truth”. Wish me luck as I battle this second wave of “caution fatigue”.