Last night, Bill and his daughter talked via Skype. I happened to be in on the call, since she called Bill while he was on his iPad. Normally, he uses his computer and headphones. They had planned to talk, but when she didn’t pop up on camera at 9:00, he figured she wasn’t going to call. So he grabbed his iPad and came down to the table, where I was sitting, listening to music, and drinking beer. When the call finally came, the computer and headphones weren’t handy.
Over the course of the conversation, some bombshells were dropped. I wasn’t involved in the conversation at first… not until younger daughter said that her little sister had just come out to Ex. Apparently, she’s pansexual. Ex sent younger daughter an email about it, along with a nasty barb about how younger daughter, being LDS, probably doesn’t approve. I couldn’t help but remember how shitty Ex was to Bill’s sister, who is a lesbian. When my SIL came out, Ex was still playing Mormon, and she made disparaging comments about SIL’s sexuality. But now that her youngest daughter is “out”, Ex is suddenly an ally. The mind boggles.
Younger daughter’s sister is also going to go to college, away from home. Apparently, Ex is helping her pay for it. But she didn’t do a damned thing for Bill’s daughter, who showed up to BYU with nothing but the clothes on her back. And Ex also forced her and Bill’s older daughter to take out student loans and give her the extra money. Again… the mind boggles.
I told Bill’s daughter that I was so impressed by her resilience and positive attitude. She told me that she relied a lot on Jesus, and even if she hadn’t been Mormon, she would have been involved with a church. The church apparently brought her comfort, even when she was very young and suicidal. Ex never did anything for nine year old younger daughter, who apparently attempted to take her own life three times. Younger daughter told her mother that she had wanted to “meet Jesus” because she felt Jesus was the only one who loved her. And now, evidently, Ex mocks her daughter for being LDS, even though it’s because of Ex that she’s LDS. And the religion supposedly saved her from despair and, evidently, suicide.
Through it all, younger daughter remains positive, even toward her mother. She blows off the crappy things Ex says to her and doesn’t reward her with photos or emails when she writes rude things about younger daughter’s adorable children. But younger daughter still maintains a connection with her mother. I suspect there could come a day when Ex finally goes too far and does something truly unforgivable. For now, though, younger daughter tolerates her mother’s total mishegoss.
Anyway, I did join in the conversation, told younger daughter some things about her dad and myself that she didn’t know. She was friendly and kind the whole time. I don’t know what she thought about it… but I can’t help but feel terrible for what she went through during those years. I still don’t like Mormonism, but I’m grateful for church members who were able to help her when we couldn’t.
Oh… and older daughter’s birthday was on July 4th. Apparently, she spent it cleaning up after her mom and stepdad. They were playing Dungeons & Dragons. Older daughter had her celebration buttressed by a role playing game enjoyed by her mom and stepfather, then cleaning up after her own festivities. Again… the mind boggles. As the Yiddish say, “total mishegoss.”