love, marriage, narcissists, relationships

Short answer? Yes, you would be the asshole, but thanks for the warning!

This came up on Reddit Ridiculousness last night. I was a bit taken aback by it. Sounds like this lady is only interested in a fair weather marriage.

And I hope your man runs… because wanting to put something like that in your wedding vows is quite a red flag, in my opinion. You’re better off staying single, and hoping you never get seriously ill yourself.

I don’t have much time to opine about this at length, since I need to get dressed… but we did have a lively discussion about this scenario last night. I think, if someone gets so ill that taking care of them is untenable or dangerous or something like that, then okay… get a divorce. But to pre-emptively put that kind of a disclaimer in your wedding vows just makes you look like a narcissistic jerk. It’s a huge red flag. I hope her significant other is paying attention.

I think if someone is self-centered enough to want to tell all of her wedding guests that she only wants a healthy, happy husband, that’s a clue that divorce is down the road. We can see if from miles away, just like the Griswolds should have seen the Grand Canyon before they drove into it. My advice to the prospective asshole? Stay off that doomed road and find a safer path.

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5 thoughts on “Short answer? Yes, you would be the asshole, but thanks for the warning!

  1. This is unbelievable. The guy would have to be crazy to go through with the wedding. I would guess that I know people who feel this way, but they don’t announce it. I suppose she’s doing him a rather large favor.

  2. Yow.

    I can’t imagine proposing to someone, then adding a clause to the wedding vows like “Yes, I’ll marry you, but if you get seriously ill, I’m outta here!”

    Having gone through the caregiving experience for five years and two months from 2010 and 2015, I will admit that there were many times when I felt overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, and exhausted (especially the last two). But I did the best that I could because I was taking care of someone I loved (and still love) dearly.

    I hope that the woman’s fiancée had his eyes opened and saw her true self in that edited version of the marriage vows. I also hope he broke off the engagement and put as much distance as possible between the two of them.

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