I’m now going to write about a topic I have been purposely avoiding for the past couple of years. It’s time to write about it. I’ve wanted to write this post for ages, but didn’t feel safe enough to do it. Now, I’m ready.
Some readers may know that my husband and I lived for four years enduring abuse from our former landlady. On my old blog, I used to occasionally vent about the way she treated us. In my view, she was extremely disrespectful to us, especially to me. Her behavior made me want to respond in kind, although I usually did it on my blog. I stopped writing about her publicly because ex landlady had a “flying monkey” who was monitoring what I was doing and reporting back to her. The flying monkey probably still watches what I do. The difference is, I no longer care. It’s now abundantly clear that she was absolutely wrong to do what she did, and karma will catch up to her someday. She’d be really wise to give us a wide berth from now on, too.
I still struggle with thoughts about that totally mindfucking experience. We tolerated it for much longer than we should have, although I reached the end of my rope long before Bill did. Unfortunately, Bill and I have both been “trained” to tolerate a lot of abuse from people. We’ve gotten better at spotting it and dealing with it, but thanks to situations in both of our pasts, it still takes awhile before we’ll do what needs to be done when we encounter someone who is abusive. The end result is that we endure a lot of pain and sorrow for no good reason.
Ex landlady was surprisingly unabashed about her massive sense of entitlement and demonstrated a complete lack of regard for our privacy and right to live in peace. Now that we live in a place where we’re treated like adults, I can’t believe we spent four years in that hellhole. It pisses me off that we did. We should have left after the first year.
It’s taken me about two years to mostly recover from the psychic aftermath of that living situation. I’m not entirely recovered yet. I’m still upset that we were subjected to that treatment, but I’m also angry that, in the process of screwing us over and ripping us off, she had us feeling like we were “bad” and irresponsible people. The fact is, we’re not bad or irresponsible people at all. We did our best to be good tenants, and none of our other landlords have ever complained about us.
Ex landlady got her rent money early every month. We were fully insured. Bill was never anything but businesslike in his dealings with her, while she was frequently rude and abrasive to him (and we have the emails to prove it). While nobody’s perfect, I patiently listened to her complaints and suggestions and did my best to comply with what I thought were ridiculous and intrusive demands. She paid us back by completely shitting on us and boldly ripping off about 80% of our deposit. I think she was planning to keep ALL of the deposit, but finally conceded to giving 20% back because Bill pushed it. She should be ashamed of herself, but because she has a massive sense of entitlement and no regard for fairness, I know she’s not. In fact, in her mind, she’s the ultimate victim.
Her “reasons” for keeping our money were mostly illegal and completely unsubstantiated. Some of her claims were absolutely and obviously ludicrous. We did have a mishap with the awning on her property, but it was an act of God, and she accepted an insurance settlement for that. She was unhappy with the settlement, so she resolved to rip us off. Moreover, she wasn’t the least bit concerned that her failure to hire a real repairperson, when I pointed out that it was falling apart, could have resulted in one of us getting seriously injured or even killed. She was simply focused on herself and her own desires. Yet she accused US of being unfair to her. What a crock of shit.
She refused to compromise in an amicable way, so Bill sued her. It was his first time suing anyone. He hated to do it. We really just wanted to be done with her. But we finally determined that it wouldn’t be right to allow ex landlady to steal our money. She was not entitled to it. And while I can’t prove that she has a habit of ripping off people, I strongly suspect, based on her brazen behavior, that she’s done this kind of thing repeatedly and gotten away with it. She expected to get away with it this time, too, probably because Bill is such a decent person.
If there’s one thing I have learned over the years, dealing with and observing narcissistic creeps like Bill’s ex wife, his former war time boss, and Donald Trump, it’s that those types of people don’t think the rules apply to them. They will bitch and moan and scream about how they’re being disrespected and mistreated, but they refuse to acknowledge their own role in any problem. They put all of the blame on the other party and do their best to malign and marginalize them. It’s infuriating and crazy making. I have no doubt that we’ve been smeared to people in our former neighborhood, not that it really matters.
The end result of the lawsuit was that the ex landlady was forced to settle. She settled for less than what I think she should have had to. In my view, she should have had to give us all of our money back, at the very least. But, as I mentioned before, we really just want to be done with her. We also don’t need the money, and we know that it will pain her to have to pay us. And she WILL have to pay, even though she hasn’t yet. If she doesn’t give us the money we’re owed, she will still pay in another way. We have already reported her to the housing office in Stuttgart and we will make it our mission to see that she does not get tenants from the U.S. military community again. Bill has already sent the court paperwork to the office, so they will have real evidence of what kind of a person she is.
Taking action against people who are unfair and dishonest can be scary. However, it’s also empowering, and it’s morally the right thing to do. There are people who can’t fight back, for whatever reason. We were thinking of them when we decided to take legal action. Because the more people who let this kind of thing go, the more emboldened dishonest bullies become. I suspect that our former landlady has frequently gotten her way by being difficult, shaming “nice” people, and trying to play the “pity” card because she’s an older woman. When it comes right down to it, she’s dishonest and unethical and she deserves to be called out for that behavior.
I’ll tell you something else. When we had our mishap with the awning on her property, ex landlady was constantly up Bill’s ass about the money to pay for it. He told her to take it up with the insurance company, since she had decided to accept a claim from them. But now that the shoe is on the other foot, and she owes us, it’s been months and we haven’t seen a cent. Well… we have let our lawyer know, and I expect she will soon be contacted by the court… and if that happens, she may end up being forced to pay even more money. And all of this could have been avoided if she had just played fair in the first place.