Category Archives: first world problems

communication, condescending twatbags, first world problems, social media, stupid people

“You better tell that girl to shut up…”

Back in the early 1990s, I was a college student who worked at the campus radio station. In the beginning, I loved being a deejay. I was pretty good at it, as I have a voice that sounds good over a microphone. I used to make commercials for my parents’ business and announce at horse shows, so it was only natural that I would enjoy being a disc jockey at the campus radio station. Another reason I liked being a deejay was that I would get exposed to music I wouldn’t ordinarily hear on my own. One band I was introduced to in those days was called Transvision Vamp.

The alternative band, which hailed from Merry Olde England in the 1980s, is now defunct. But they had one funny number that I still enjoy listening to called “Tell That Girl to Shut Up”. The song was a hit in 1988, when I was in high school, but I became familiar with it when I was a Longwood (College) University student in the early 90s. And I’m thinking of that song this morning as I think about something that happened last night. Some of you who read this are going to think it’s ridiculous that I’m writing about this topic today, but it’s Friday, and I’m not quite ready to review Jill Duggar Dillard’s new book. So here goes…

Yeah, you tell her… STFU.

Below are the lyrics to “Tell That Girl to Shut Up”:

Well you got that girl and she lives with you
And she does just want you want her to
And when I call you on the phone, she says you’re not there
But I know you’re home-

You better tell that girl to shut up
You better tell that girl I’m gonna beat her up
You better tell that girl
You better tell that girl
You better tell that girl

Well we used to be the best of friends
Now all that’s gonna have to end
But there’s just one thing that I can’t see
How she’s got got you hanging up on me

You better tell that girl to shut up
You better tell that girl I’m gonna beat her up
You better tell that girl
You better tell that girl
You better tell that girl

Well I guess you’re like that all of the time
But it takes more than that for me to lose my mind
Don’t you know that I don’t care?
Maybe if I hit her, maybe if I pulled her hair
Oh oh hey yey yeah

Well, she likes to seem intellectual
And to be a musician she goes to school
And the way she acts is so uncool
I just can’t stand her

You better tell that girl to shut up
You better tell that girl I’m gonna beat her up
You better tell that girl
You better tell that girl
You better tell that girl

Ooh you better tell, yeah you better tell, oh
You better tell that girl
You better tell that girl
You better tell that girl

Girl, girl, girl, girl, girl, girl

You better tell that girl to shut up
You better tell that girl I’m gonna beat her up
You better tell that girl
You better tell that girl
You better tell that girl to shut up!

This is a really catchy song written by Holly Vincent, and it captures the mood sometimes. Mind you, I don’t condone violence, nor would I ever beat someone up, unless they somehow provoked me into physically defending myself. But sometimes the urge is there to just slap the taste out of someone’s mouth, because they are deliberately being an asshole, and trying to stir up shit, when all you want to do is just be in the world.

Such was the case last night, as Bill was having an online session with his Jungian therapist. I was sitting alone at the kitchen table looking at Facebook. I had meant to be reading Jill Duggar’s book, but just never got around to it. I happened across a post by Bitchy Waiter.

Granted, no question has been asked, as there is no question mark.

I don’t often post comments on Bitchy Waiter’s page, or any other page, for that matter. Far too often, I’ve run into rude cretins who just want to start trouble with strangers. But last night, I did choose to comment. This is what I wrote.

I preferred food service because it paid better. Also, I had better bosses.

Nothing wrong with that comment, right? It’s actually pretty boring. I wouldn’t have expected it to attract a rude comment, but hey– it’s Facebook– and confrontational jerks abound there. Someone named Pattie tagged me and wrote something along the lines of “That wasn’t the question.”

I gave Pattie an orange anger emoji and wrote, “Shut up!”

Maybe I should have just posted this video.

I had a feeling she’d come back, even though I think I was clear that I wasn’t interested in engaging with her. Sure enough, she didn’t disappoint. She came back and wrote something along the lines of, “Shut up? How old are you?”

I blocked her, because there were just too many answers I could have given that would have turned our conversation into a huge spectacle. For instance, I could have told Pattie to “go fry herself.” Or maybe she should “go flame broil herself.” Or maybe she should go be an all beef pattie somewhere else, with someone who has a grill big enough to accommodate her. I wasn’t in the mood to flame her ground up standard cuts into taco filling.

Pattie just wanted to pick a fight with someone, and she’d decided to try it with me. It takes two people to fight, though, and I wasn’t interested in giving her narcissistic fuel supply or wasting energy on an online confrontation with her, especially since I’d been drinking. So I hit the block button and ended the pain. But I was left wondering if this was really what she wanted. Was it Pattie’s goal to be blocked by me?

Then I was left with more questions. Does Pattie work as a server? Did she ever? Is being confrontational how she interacts with her tables? With people she meets on the street? With her friends and family? They say something innocuous, and she comes back with a confrontation or an insult? Why do people feel the need to be so rude and hostile to people they don’t even know? Pattie and I have at least one thing in common, and that is the fact that we both follow Bitchy Waiter. Why is that an invitation to be rude to me? There was nothing about my comment that called for her to address me in the way she did. She very quickly showed me that I don’t want to talk to her, hence why I advised her to shut up.

I’ve actually been thinking about unfollowing Bitchy Waiter, though, because I feel like I’ve outgrown the bitterness I’ve had after the experience of waiting tables. I also get tired of reading constant demands for people to tip their servers ever increasing amounts. I think restaurant owners should pay their staff appropriately, since they are the people who ultimately hire the servers. Customers who wish to tip should certainly do so… or not… since tips usually aren’t mandatory.

If the owners were paying their staff, it would mean that the staff is definitely compensated for their hard work, instead of relying on the kindness and generosity/guilt complexes of strangers. And maybe people could enjoy an evening out without constantly being pressured to order more than they want or need. Dining out in America is a stressful experience, mainly because servers are pressured to get people in and out as quickly as possible, with a bill that is as high as possible, so the tip is as high as possible. I like how it’s done in Europe, where people get paid appropriately regardless, have adequate time off, and are grateful when someone tips them.

That’s just my opinion about tipping, even though I’ve worked in the industry and completely understand why the system is the way it is. It doesn’t mean I need someone to explain why I must tip, nor do I need a primer on how things work, or a hostile lecture about why I’m “wrong” about the practice of tipping. This is just my view, and it’s not been formed in ignorance, nor is it up for debate. Opinions aren’t facts, so they have to be taken with a grain of salt. I know my view isn’t popular, but it’s how I feel.

That being said, of course I tip properly and generously, especially when I’m in the United States. I know that most servers don’t really get paid anything but tips. But I still think the system sucks. I don’t want to argue about it, because I’ve thought about it long enough to know how I feel and why I feel that way. If someday, I get new and compelling information about why tipping is better than employers actually paying their staff, I may change my mind.

Because I don’t want to argue about subjects like the importance of tipping, I don’t often comment on Bitchy Waiter’s page. I find him entertaining, and I think he’s got multiple talents. He’s worth paying attention to sometimes. That’s why I follow him. But I don’t agree with constantly pressuring people to tip more and more, so I don’t engage too often with him. When I do comment, I try to keep my comments banal.

Last night’s comment was pretty boring; so why did it attract Pattie? I don’t know. When I saw Pattie’s confrontation, my actual first instinct was to tell her to “shut the fuck up”. But, instead of posting that the f-bomb, I simply wrote the marginally more polite “shut up”. Most people know what that means, but I guess Pattie didn’t. It’s basically an invitation to go away, because I don’t owe her a conversation or a defense of my comments. She didn’t accept my invitation to leave me alone, and came back with negativity. So now we won’t be interacting at all. It’s probably no big loss to her. I know it’s no big loss to me.

I do wonder what the hell happened to Pattie to make her think it’s okay to approach people in such a way. Maybe that makes me a late 80s relic. I don’t think today’s people even think about this stuff. Younger people have apparently skipped the part of home training that includes basic manners and engaging people with respect and dignity. However, I also realize that I’m becoming a crotchety old hag with no patience. I’ll own that, as I tell that girl to shut up…

The older I get, the less patience I have for people like Pattie… total strangers on social media who, for whatever reason, feel the need to be egregiously aggressive and rude to people they don’t know. I wouldn’t tolerate it offline; so I don’t tolerate it online.

I’ll bet Pattie is pretty cheesy, too…

May deformed all beef Pattie be turned into Wendy’s chili meat.

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business, complaints, first world problems, music, YouTube

We solved one problem; now we have another…

Yesterday was relatively uneventful, compared to Monday, July 10th. Relatively, I say… which means that we did have a couple of issues come up. But, at least I didn’t feel like drinking at 2 PM like I did a week ago.

Bill got home a little bit early last night and finally changed out the battery in my car. So now, if I want to, I can drive it somewhere. But it needs to be serviced, first, as it’s been awhile since it last saw a mechanic. The Mini might also need new tires, because it’s been sitting in a garage for a long time and there might be some dry rot that makes the tires unsafe. The car will now start, though, which is the first step in driving it somewhere. So that’s one problem solved. Now, I’ve got another one that needs to be fixed.

Here’s what happened. It’s an issue that recurs seemingly every quarter or so. On the 15th of every month, my premium savings account at PenFed gets dividends. They offer good rates on that account, so it’s usually kind of exciting to see what the amount of the dividend is. I have deposited a tidy sized nest egg there, and every month, I add more to it.

Well… like most financial institutions these days, PenFed requires everyone to use two factor authentication. I hate it, because it’s inconvenient and annoying, especially since PenFed won’t allow me to get the access codes by email. I have to either get a text message or a voicemail on my phone. This wouldn’t be a problem, except for some reason, PenFed doesn’t seem to want to send texts or do robocalls to international phone numbers.

Yesterday, when I tried to log into my account via the Web site, I couldn’t get the access code. When I went to my account on PenFed, I could see that the country code for my (correct) phone number was set to 01, which is the country code for the United States. I live in Germany, so the code must be set to 49 in order for the call or text to go through. When I tried to update the country code myself, PenFed wouldn’t allow it because, the computer said, it “didn’t match the information in their records”.

This has happened before. I suspect that when PenFed’s computer system does its updates, things like country codes for international phone numbers get caught up in a glitch. I end up having to call them late in the afternoon, when I’d much rather be chilling on my patio drinking beer or eating dinner. Moreover, I have repeatedly had this issue corrected before, yet PenFed’s system still repeatedly claims my country code should be set to the U.S. code of 01, instead of the German code of 49. I’ve been in Germany for nine years so far!

I hate calling them. I also hate calling USAA, which is (sadly) my other bank. Most of my hatred of calling them comes from detesting being kept on hold and listening to their godawful hold music from hell, and dealing with people who are incompetent. I would much rather do this stuff over email or even chat. At least if I’m chatting, I can listen to my own fucking music.

This is about how I feel about calling…

So I sent PenFed an email yesterday. Hours later, I got a response asking me for my phone number. I sent it, and then got another response, probably from another person, that I had to call them to authenticate the number. SIGH…

I called PenFed and after waiting several minutes in the phone queue, got some slow talking guy who, I quickly discovered, wasn’t a very good listener, nor did he have critical thinking skills. I explained to the guy that I needed to “update” my phone number. I suppose that was the wrong word to use. What I meant to say is that they needed to update the country code, which is part of the number that must be included if one is calling from another country.

It soon became clear that the man I was talking to didn’t have much experience calling other countries. He didn’t seem to understand what a country code is. Then he told me that I’d need to send them a copy of a bill to prove that the number I was updating was correct. SIGH…

I said, “No…. you have the right phone number. I just need the country code updated.”

He reiterated that I needed to send them a bill, which I don’t even have, because Bill handles that automatically. So I asked him if there was someone more senior I could speak to. He said they were all busy, but he’d have someone call me back. I laughed at that and said, “But if someone calls me, they will have to have the correct COUNTRY CODE, right?” So I gave him my number– the same one in my records– and reiterated the right country code, which if they would just update it in my account, would negate the need for ANYONE to have to call me to solve this problem!

I waited for over an hour for the phone call, which never came. So I sent another email, explaining again the issue, and asking why I can’t simply get the access codes via email. My husband is also a member of PenFed, and he’s able to get emailed codes instead of texts. Someone named Jessica wrote back and we had an email exchange. She explained that when she called, she got a busy signal. I ended up having to explain to her how to make an international phone call from the USA, not that she ever did call me. She wrote that updated everything in my account… but now, when I try to log in, I get the following message…

I tried to send this screenshot to Jessica, but PenFed’s system blocked it. I was instructed to upload the screenshot from their “secure portal”. But, in order to do that, I have to log in… and well, as you can see, I can’t do that. I CAN, however, get on the site using their app, which doesn’t require two factor authentication for access. Go figure.

After awhile, Jessica quit responding to me, anyway. Just before I went to sleep, I got a message from someone named Alec, who suggested the issue is on my end somehow. I guess I’ll call back this afternoon and try to stay calm, as I convince someone to get someone from the IT department to fix this issue… yet again.

I have ranted before about both PenFed and USAA. The truth is, I’d really like to ditch both banks, even though I’ve been a customer of both for about 30 years or so. I’ve noticed a steep decline in their services over the past few years. But, when you live in Europe on SOFA status, it can be difficult to arrange a European bank without potentially causing problems locally with the government. We aren’t regular residents here, and we don’t want to appear like we’re becoming regular residents, because that can affect our ability to stay here legally, which could affect Bill’s job. Getting a local bank account can arouse suspicions.

Besides, we do plan to go back to the States eventually. Yes, we dream about staying in Europe forever, but I don’t know how feasible that plan is. So, at this point, we do plan to come back someday… and since we plan to come back, it’s good to have an American bank. A lot of them would rather not deal with overseas customers, though. USAA and PenFed are institutions that historically deal with military and government employees. They used to be pretty good with handling the issues that arise from here. That’s not so true anymore.

I sure wish PenFed would, at least, build a better Web site that functions properly. I have been hating on USAA a bit lately, but at least their Web site works properly. And they have a chat function that actually works with live human beings, instead of just an AI system that just sends me to articles that aren’t at all useful to the situations I usually find myself in when I need help. Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes USAA’s chat function sucks, too. But I have, on occasion, gotten it to work well enough to solve my issue without having to call them.

Oh well. At least the Mini will start. Maybe it’s time we took a joy ride with the top down… the car’s, not mine. Fortunately, I don’t need to access the money I have sitting in PenFed right now. Thank God for small favors.

One positive thing I did yesterday was record another song. Quite fittingly, it’s a blues number. I learned it in about an hour. I don’t think it’s half bad, even though the camera doesn’t love me. 😉

Now you can see why Bill loves me… 😉 (someone actually said something akin to that to Bill when he heard me sing… lovely, huh?)

Happy update… I called PenFed again just now and got someone much more competent on the line. She got the block off my account and my phone number entered again. AND… she also helped me set up another money market account at a very nice rate. So bravo to the very helpful lady at PenFed this morning! With any luck, I’ll be seeing the new product in my account very soon.

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communication, condescending twatbags, fashion, first world problems, language, musings, narcissists

Your body is telling me to GTFO of here, pronto!

In my first travel blog post today, I wrote about a non-verbal interaction I had with a fellow cruise passenger during our “free” hotel stay in Stockholm. In my post, I issued a disclaimer that my impressions of that non-verbal interaction might have been off base. Sometimes, I do get things wrong. However, I don’t think I was wrong in this case. I’ve “heard” the same thing from other people who later issued similarly offensive communications in verbal form. It usually starts with someone glancing at you and looking like they just smelled shit.

I sort of expect these kinds of situations to erupt, especially when I’m among the especially privileged. I’d say anyone lucky enough to be cruising on Regent Seven Seas Splendor is among the most privileged of people in the whole world. Bill and I certainly aren’t wealthy, but we can afford nice things, and we do partake in luxury sometimes. However, we don’t necessarily look the part of the rich and fabulous. Consequently, sometimes we’re on the receiving end of disdainful looks from the more polished and obviously prosperous.

One thing I’ve noticed on luxury American cruise ships is that there tends to be a gamut of people. You’ll see super wealthy and successful types aboard– people with trophy wives (and husbands) and all of the trappings of success. And you’ll see a lot of much younger people who don’t look like they should be able to afford such a vacation. Experience has taught me that those folks usually work in the travel industry. My British “friend” who works in the travel industry tells me that people in that field can score insanely good deals on travel, allowing them to experience exotic and luxurious trips with the wealthy. You’ll also see people like Bill, who work hard and earn a decent wage for what they do– and don’t necessarily own beautiful homes, fancy cars, or memberships at country clubs, but are able to splurge on luxury cruises or hotels.

Not everyone who has money is an asshole, of course. Bill and I have met many really wonderful folks who have truly been blessed– both with wealth, and with fabulous personalities. But luxury travel also attracts a lot of self-entitled jerks who automatically look down their noses at others without knowing a single meaningful thing about them. This post is mainly about those types of people, who are fortunately probably in the minority.

One thing I noticed when I was on this particular vacation is that I suddenly don’t care that much about shallow, vain types of people. I certainly didn’t waste any time trying to impress them. I used to be more offended by that kind of behavior– snobby, disdainful, judgmental, and flat out rude. Now, I just think it’s kind of sad… and perhaps a little bit amusing. Imagine going through life looking down your nose at everyone just because you think they’re somehow beneath you, based solely on qualities as fleeting as how they look!

Most of the time, when I’m just at home with Noyzi, I look like warmed over crap. I don’t wear makeup. I usually don’t wear a bra unless I’m going out in public. I don’t fix my hair. I dress for comfort instead of style. Even at my youngest and freshest, I didn’t have a particularly nice figure. And yet, my husband shows me every day how much he loves and adores me. We always have a good time together, and never run out of things to talk about. There’s an endless stream of inside jokes and shared memories between us. And we clean up quite nicely, too.

Maybe it’s wrong for me to say that I don’t care about this “disdain” I sense from others when I’m out and about. I guess I do care, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this post. It’s just that this time, instead of feeling pissed off and outraged about it, I noticed that I was actually more amused. Because I think of some of our favorite memories, especially when we’ve been traveling, and they don’t include people like the guy in the hotel lobby in Stockholm. They typically include more down-to-earth folks like the hilarious Spanish bum we encountered in Seville back in 2014.

The most interesting and memorable people I’ve ever encountered are people who might get a disapproving glare from the “gentleman” we encountered on our cruise. Even the narcissistic guy on our second SeaDream cruise– who actually told Bill “Now I can see why you’d love her…” after hearing me sing– was at least open-minded enough to look beyond the surface. The guy we ran into on the ship will likely never know truly awesome people, because he’s apparently mostly interested in superficial things like a person’s outward appearance and attractiveness. And yes, I do think that’s sad and very limiting for him. What’s the point of traveling if you don’t want to encounter people who are different? He might as well stay home and hang out at the country club. I guess Regent could be considered kind of a country club at sea. 😉

Ah well… I suppose we all do that kind of judging from time to time. It might even be called a form of self-preservation. We size people up based on their appearances. Someone who looks clean, well-fed, and employed might seem more trustworthy than someone who looks dirty, unkempt, and in need of assistance, even if the clean looking person is a notorious cheat, and the homeless person looks the way they do because they gave a friend the shirt off their back. Most of us feel most comfortable around people who are like us on some level. And to be honest, I’m doing a fair bit of judging myself, based on that guy’s apparently negative attitude. For all I know, he only looked like he smelled shit because he actually did step in some while strolling around Stockholm.

One thing I noticed on our trip is that I no longer really feel like an American, even though I definitely am one on every level. I think when we go “home” again, I’m going to feel out of place, and there’s going to be a hell of a culture shock to adjust to… I’ve experienced it before, although the last time, I was actually looking forward to going “home” to America. This time, I dread the idea. And yet, it’s still my home, and there are people, places, and things I still miss there.

Well… I’m not sure how much sense this post makes, or even if it’s offensive on some level to some people. It was just something on my mind today. Travel has a way of erasing prejudices for most… at least those who are open to new experiences and meeting different kinds of people. It’s good for the soul, and good for opening minds and hearts. And I totally realize that maybe a luxury cruise isn’t the best place to be preaching about such things. But even on a luxury cruise, there’s a class system, and on some level, it is kind of hurtful to be deemed lower class… especially when it’s evidently only based on something as superficial as physical appearance (and by this, I don’t include what is written on a person’s facial expressions or revealed within their body language).

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, time to have some lunch and get back to writing up our trip!

(The featured photo is of me on the first night of the cruise, freshly scrubbed, made up, and coiffed… I was probably still too ugly to be in the presence of the shit smelling man in Stockholm… Somehow, I’ll have to find a reason to keep living. 😉 )

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first world problems, modern problems, music, technology

I feel the terrible “STING” of moving Sting’s music to my new computer…

I’m getting a late start on today’s blog post, because I spent the morning trying to move more of my music collection from my old computer. It mostly went smoothly, until I got to Sting. I have tons of music by Sting, and that seemed to complicate matters a lot. I have multiple copies of several albums, along with different versions of the same albums. I kept trying to put them on my external hard drive, so they could be moved, only to find that either the albums didn’t make it onto the drive, or I got partial albums.

Making matters worse was the fact that every time I tried to move the damned files, duplicates were generated on the old computer. And even then, it was a crap shoot as to whether or not they’d successfully migrate to the hard drive, even when I tried to check.

I know this is a first world problem, but moving these files is legitimately a real pain in the ass. I have to get up from my chair to go to the other computer, which doesn’t have a chair. Then I stand there and wait for the colorful wheel to stop spinning so things won’t be frozen. After awhile, I got the bright idea to delete some of the duplicate files, only to find that I accidentally permanently erased a few of them.

iTunes won’t let me replace the lost tracks, because they’re already purchased. Amazon won’t let me buy MP3 albums here, because I have a US based credit card, but I live in the German market. And I have a US Apple account, so I can’t buy from the German store. Even if I wanted to do that, I’d still have the credit card issue. Sometimes, I can use PayPal to get around that kind of stuff, but it was all just getting way too annoying and complicated. And sometimes there are other editions of an album available that can be purchased, but there I was no such luck for the album I messed up today. So I ended up buying an actual CD so I can manually replace the lost files.

Hopefully, my Superdrive CD-ROM peripheral will still work properly. I’m not sure if I managed to move everything else I have by Sting today, but I simply had to quit trying. My mood was progressively getting worse by the minute.

The good news is, I don’t have too much further to go in order to be done with this “project”. I managed to get to the Ts, my trials with Sting notwithstanding. So, hopefully, I will be finished with moving my music tomorrow. Then I can make new playlists. I might have said “fuck it” regarding Sting, but he happens to be a big favorite of mine. I have some pretty great stuff by him, some of which is rare. I’m not willing to sacrifice a thing.

I’m sure I could probably send Apple a note and see if they might make it possible to download those files again on the new computer. However, as much as I’d like to be practical and save some money, my concern is that it would take too much time and effort to deal with customer service.

You know… as much as I like how easy and convenient it is to download music, and as nice as it is not to have to find places for physical CDs, I will say that using CDs was a lot easier. Plus, once you own the CD, you have the music for as long as the CD lasts. I don’t want to join Apple or Amazon Music, because I don’t want to rent my music. Plus, I don’t want them fucking up or with the files I have. Some of my most cherished MP3s date back to Napster circa 2000.

So anyway… because of this project, I don’t have anything else to write about today. Sorry to have wasted your time. 😉 Maybe I could rant about how it’s 2023, and I’m having to waste so much time on this shit. Why wasn’t all of this automatically moved on the cloud? iTunes/Apple Music really sucks on many levels for multiple reasons.

But there are lots of other useful posts in this blog… and other blogs on the Information Superhighway. I now feel the overwhelming urge to go lie down somewhere and try to decompress. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll be back with something more exciting to share.

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controversies, first world problems, LDS, Military, modern problems, money, YouTube

People are always going to have a complaint, aren’t they?

Good morning, y’all. I’m feeling pretty decent today, because last night, I made the final payment on our cruise. We got a big tax refund this year, so as soon as the charge hits my credit card, I’m going to be able to pay off the debt. Meanwhile, I think we’re pretty close to making the final plans for our big June vacation. I have a feeling it’s going to be an unforgettable trip, full of beauty, seafood, and new experiences.

I hadn’t wanted to go on a cruise. I was actually wanting to do more of a land trip. But, as Bill and I are both in our fifties, the days of us being willing to lug our stuff around to multiple destinations are pretty much over. The cruise I signed us up for last week was just too perfect, as it hit a lot of places we’d been wanting to visit again, or for the first time. Yes, it’s costing a bundle, but I think it’ll be well worth it. I’ve found that you have to enjoy these chances to travel when you can.

I’m not complaining, by the way. I feel very fortunate that we can go on a trip and pay for it in a reasonable amount of time. I’m grateful that Bill has a good job in a safe country that we both love. I’m especially glad I don’t currently live in a military stairwell apartment… and never have had to live in one. I know that, on the whole, I don’t enjoy apartment living. I also know that a lot of American military families who get moved abroad have to live on military installations. And that pretty much means living in an apartment for three years.

As anyone who has ever lived in an apartment can attest to, communal style living often means pitching in to keep the common areas clean. In Germany, this is a pretty normal thing. People who live in multi-family apartments take turns sweeping and mopping the stairwells, for instance. In the United States, a lot of apartment communities hire janitors to do that work. But, here in Germany– at least in the Stuttgart area– American residents of the military stairwells have been expected to do the job. That will change come May 1, when all residential buildings across the Stuttgart U.S. military garrison will have contracted stairwell cleaning.

You’d think this would be good news, right? I know if I were living in a stairwell apartment, I’d be all for it. In a perfect world, people would be cheerfully volunteering to give up some of their free time to keep common areas clean. However, we don’t live in a perfect world. Because people have varying levels of civic mindedness, keeping the stairwells clean simply doesn’t happen. What does happen is that the stairwells get cleaned by one or two responsible or “clean freak” families, they get cleaned in a half-assed manner, or they don’t get cleaned at all, and quickly become really gross.

Even though it seems clearly necessary to hire help to clean the common areas of the stairwells, some people aren’t very happy about this announcement. Below are a few negative comments and complaints people have made on Facebook about this development:

Respectfully, can we use this funding to make better parking complexes on Patch and Kelly instead? That is where the majority of the problems lie in my opinion.

If the announcement has been made, the money has already been spent. So no, they won’t be using that funding for anything other than cleaning the stairwells. The money wasn’t budgeted for parking. It was budgeted for housekeeping. Posting this comment on Facebook isn’t going to change anything regarding the stairwell cleaning decision. I would suggest finding the proper channel to formally make this request. Maybe in ten years or so, it will be acted upon.

Was it really that hard to get together as a community and keep the stairwells clean that we had to pay someone else to clean up after us?

Apparently, yes, it was. People work hard at their jobs. They have children to take care of. Free time is limited. Some people are messier than others are, and most people have their own standards of what is considered “clean”. Why complain that the garrison is finally taking action, while shaming everyone else in the community for not “coming together”? Have you, personally, done something to inspire other people to do their parts, as you’ve (hopefully) been doing yours? If you haven’t, you probably ought to take a look at yourself before pointing fingers.

I like the below response, as it sums things up nicely.

Have you seen the state of the stairwells/playgrounds/any common area on base? A couple responsible families across the garrison who do their part cleaning their little sections cannot compensate for the vast majority who do not. As frustrating as it is that funds have to be used for this purpose — because folks are not responsible enough to clean up after themselves — I wholeheartedly welcome it.

The bolded part especially highlights why this decision had to be made. Not everyone is willing or able to do their parts to keep the common areas safe, clean, and hygienic, and obviously those who don’t clean aren’t being sanctioned. So yes, funds need to be used for that purpose.

…smh what’s next someone that cleans after ppls dogs? House cleaning services? Lazyness should not be encouraged… But that’s just my opinion… Other things would be way more important. 

I don’t think that forcing everyone to live in filth as a means of “discouraging laziness” is a good solution to this problem. Truly lazy people won’t notice or care, while those who aren’t “lazy” will suffer lower morale. It’s not fair that some people are willing to clean and others aren’t, especially when people who live in the stairwells are mostly being forced to live there. As to the rest of the comment regarding house cleaning or cleaning up after people’s dogs, don’t be ridiculous.

I’ve seen some nasty stairwells that I barely want to walk in 😞

And others that are clean and decorated….. sad they have to pay someone but 🤷🏻‍♀️ at least it’s gonna be clean for everyone.

Why is it “sad” that people will have jobs, and the necessary work will get done so that the stairwells aren’t so gross? I think this is a win/win. And I’ll bet those who are complaining about this aren’t going to keep cleaning out of principle, are they? If they ever did clean in the first place, that is…

Probably costly from a taxpayer’s point of view. However, we lived on Kelley. Keeping the stairwells clean was a constant battle. I think I would have been grateful for the upkeep.

Costly only in terms of money, which was earmarked for this purpose, anyway. In terms of health, morale, and safety, it’s a small price to pay.

How about a parking garage on each base?

Facebook isn’t the place to make this suggestion. The decision has been made and the money has been spent. Next!

Remember when we found human excrement in the basement Nick..that coupled with neighbours from hell! So happy we’re off base now!!!!

Yup! This scenario is EXACTLY why someone professional needs to be doing that job. It’s sad that fellow Americans behave in such a way, but as long as they do, someone should definitely be PAID to deal with that mess. No one should have to clean up another person’s dump, unless it’s parents cleaning up after their child or something…

Those of you reading this might wonder why I even care about this issue. I don’t live in a stairwell apartment, and I’m definitely not a neat freak myself. And, like some have pointed out, keeping the common areas clean is expected in our host country. If American military folks were living in apartments among Germans, it would be a no brainer that they’d be taking turns cleaning, especially in Swabia (Stuttgart). Or, barring that, they’d be paying someone to do the cleaning for them.

I think my interest in this subject comes from following RfM (www.exmormon.org) for so many years, and reading about what happened when church leaders decided to stop paying for janitorial services.

I have never been LDS myself, but Bill was a Mormon for awhile. And, for awhile, the church affected our marriage somewhat, as Bill’s daughters are members. I used to read RfM pretty compulsively, and one topic that frequently came up was how completely nasty and unhygienic church buildings became when the janitors were sacked. Church leaders had said that it was a form of service to the Lord (not to mention cheaper for the leadership) for members to clean the churches themselves. Even though the church is very demanding with lots of activities and “callings”, families were expected to give up their precious Saturdays and come in to clean the meetinghouses. Some people were very willing to do that and faithfully did their parts. Other people weren’t, and neglected to show up and pitch in. The end result frequently turned out to be gross buildings that weren’t very pleasant to visit on Sundays (and other days).

A church video about cleaning the chapels… Are people really this cheerful about using their free time to do work that could be done by someone who needs a job?

Consider that, just like a lot of military families, church families were busy and had lots of little ones to take care of. Consider that aside from working all week at a job, Saturdays were often full of chores that needed to be done in the home, as Sundays were for worship. Asking members to clean the church buildings means asking them to give up their free time to do a job that would be better done by someone who is paid to do it. Someone who is paid to do the cleaning is likely to do a better job; it will get done regularly; and, if they are church members, it means they can tithe. Of course, it also means that someone has a job and can also pay their own bills!

I will never understand why so many people, especially those who claim to be conservatives and bristle against people daring to be on the public dole, would lament about a paid job being created for someone who needs one. We want and expect people to work, don’t we? So why not pay them to do a job no one else wants to do? That way, they can chip in on taxes, right? It just seems like so many people harp on how everyone should work for a living, but then when a job is created, they complain about spending the money and lament about personal responsibility.

This issue doesn’t affect me personally, of course. It’s just puzzling to me that people would be up in arms about better janitorial services and grounds management. Who wants to spend their free time unpaid, cleaning up other people’s messes? Yes, we absolutely should all clean up after ourselves when we make messes. That’s the decent thing to do. But everybody has a different standard for what is considered “clean”, and some people either don’t have time to clean properly or just don’t care. And some people will feel compelled to clean, as they also resent the hell out of those who can’t be bothered to do routine cleaning. It’s better that people are paid to do that job.

Anyway… reading that thread reminds me of why I’m glad we live in Wiesbaden, and I never bothered to join a lot of Facebook groups up here. That’s another reason to be grateful.

I hope that people in Stuttgart will be grateful for their soon to be cleaner stairwell apartments… and if they were the ones actually doing their parts to keep the common areas clean, they’ll enjoy a little extra free time to spend with their families.

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