anniversary, Armenia, love, marriage

Here’s to 21 years with Mr. Bill…

So, we’ve finally reached our big day. Our marriage can now legally have an alcoholic drink in the United States. 😉 I never questioned that we’d make it to 21 years, as long as one of us didn’t die before the big day. We’re ridiculously well suited to each other and get along very well. While I would never say never, when it comes to things like marriage, I have a strong feeling that we will never part by divorce. We just like each other too much. Yes, we LOVE each other, but we also like each other. And there is an important difference between liking and loving.

There is no one else on the planet who makes me feel more comfortable than Bill does. I can say and do pretty much anything that doesn’t involve committing a felony in front of him. He doesn’t care. He loves me for all the ways I am, even when I’m sick, hangry, or just in a really foul mood. He doesn’t lose patience with me when I’m depressed, drunk, anxious, or angry, and he celebrates, and even appreciates, my love of food and drink.

Not every man would be willing to visit Armenia to celebrate a wedding anniversary. Armenia is pretty cool, and it’s come a long way since the 1990s, but it’s not Paris or Amsterdam or even Warsaw. Yerevan has some very beautiful aspects to it, but there are still many old Soviet era buildings that are crumbling; the air quality is not the best; and there’s still a lot of work to be done to make it a city on par with some of the ones that are closer to where we live. And yet, we’ve managed to have an amazing experience over the past few days.

I feel quite certain that it will take me a long time to get over this trip, if I ever manage to do so. I think Bill is similarly affected. I’ve seen him verklempt more than once since we got here early Saturday morning. What the landscape is missing in natural beauty is made up for by the beauty of the warm hearted, hospitable, kind people we’ve met in Yerevan. That is one thing that has not changed since I left here in 1997.

Bill is always game for following my whims, even when they require breaking out of his comfort zone. He’s gone to several nude spas with me, for instance… and hasn’t complained. When I asked him to get a job in Germany when he retired, he was all for it and complied with enthusiasm. He doesn’t mind when I write about him or our relationship truthfully, and he can take it when I remind him to break out the tweezers and pluck his wild eyebrows. 😀 He’s always interested in hearing my opinions, even when they don’t align with his opinions. He laughs at all my jokes, even the really gross and inappropriate ones. And he’s a fan of everything I do, from writing erotic fiction, to singing songs, to posting blog rants, to cleaning the toilets and washing the sheets. It also helps that we’re both a little kinky and our kinks are pretty much the same. 😀

As for me, I don’t mind following Bill wherever he goes… and that has meant giving up my own plans of having a career and children of my own. I thought I wanted those things when I was younger, but now I realize I wouldn’t trade what I have now, for what I thought I wanted back then. I have been given all I need. No one makes me happy like Bill does… and no one makes me feel as loved and protected as he does. This man has my whole heart and soul… and my whole ass, which unfortunately, is quite a lot! 😉

We don’t look too worse for wear after 21 years…

For 21 years, we’ve kept each other safe and warm… and I hope we’ll have at least more 21 years together, so I can keep writing these very mushy posts on our anniversaries. We are blessed to be together. And, if you consider some of the things we’ve faced since we’ve known each other, you might realize that it wasn’t necessarily a given that this was going to work out. Bill could have easily died in the Pentagon on 9/11 or when he was in Iraq… or his ex wife could have ruined our relationship… or any number of other disasters could have happened.

For my sweet Bill…

So here’s to our 21 years of a wonderful life together… And now, I’m going to close this post and get on with today’s sights and sounds in Yerevan!

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lessons learned, love, marriage, money

My husband’s “awful” teeth… a symbol of survival…

I am about to start writing about our trip to Yerevan, because if I don’t, I will forget things. I don’t want to forget this trip because it’s been very special. I have a lot of complicated feelings about Armenia, and those who know me well, have an idea of why I have these feelings. I didn’t have an easy time when I served here. But I managed to survive, and now I’ve come back and found out just how much worth it it was to stay the course… Which isn’t to mean that quitting isn’t also the right thing to do sometimes, in certain situations. In my case, the fact that I didn’t quit was the right thing, and I’m finding that out right now.

On Friday night, as we were making our way into transit at the Frankfurt Airport, Bill was talking about how, next Monday, he has to go to the dentist and have his implant put in. He lamented about his “awful teeth”, and how much work he’s had done on them over the years.

Bill certainly could have benefited from orthodontia and better dental care when he was growing up. But he was poor back then. His parents were divorced, and his mom was doing much of the raising alone. Neither of his parents had that much money, and Bill’s mom didn’t get much child support for Bill. Unfortunately, Bill’s teeth suffered, and he has kind of a crooked smile, although his teeth are mostly serviceable.

As Bill was complaining about his teeth, I said, “You know, your teeth are kind of a badge of honor.”

Bill looked at me with confusion in his beautiful blue eyes, so I explained.

“You grew up poor. Your mom couldn’t afford to take you to the dentist, let alone an orthodontist. But now, we’re about to fly to Armenia business class, and we’re going to stay in a decent hotel. And when we come back, you will go have a dental implant installed, and you’re not concerned about whether or not you can pay the bill when the work is done. That’s what makes your crooked teeth a badge of honor. You could still be in a situation in which you don’t see the dentist because you can’t pay the bill. But look at where you are today. You are successful. And you don’t need beautiful teeth to be handsome, at least not to me.”

Bill said, “Wow. I’ve never thought of it that way.”

And I said, “Neither have I.” Sometimes I do have flashes of insight that surprises people– including myself.

I’ve gotten so used to his crooked smile that I can’t imagine him without it. I find it kind of endearing. But I’m very glad he goes to the dentist now, because I don’t find halitosis endearing. 😉

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Bill, funny stories, love, marriage

A funny thing happened on the way to Tübingen…

It’s Monday again, and Bill and I are hanging out in our deserted hotel. I mentioned in the previous post that there isn’t enough staff to run the hotel, so they closed it until tomorrow (which is a holiday in Germany, anyway). Because we rented an “apartment” (which actually looks more like a former suite with a kitchenette), we were allowed to stay and self-cater. The lobby is closed, but we can come and go through the garage and a side door with a chip activated key.

Yesterday was an amazing day. I described it briefly in my travel blog. We visited a different type of cave– one that is only opened on the first Sunday of the warm months– and we visited another cave site and had lunch. We didn’t go into the other cave, as we’ve seen it before. Instead, we just people watched and enjoyed beautiful weather and scenery. We also met another couple, who were curious as to what we were doing there. Caves don’t usually attract Americans, I guess.

Today, we’ll go into Stuttgart and have some lunch, then see our dentist. I’m sure the dentist will be shocked by the big hole in Bill’s mouth. He lost a tooth in August and had to have it extracted by a different dentist, since our regular one was on vacation. After that, we’ll head back for our last night in this beautiful old college town, then head out on our fall vacation to Czechia. I’m sure there will be lots of conversation, as there was a couple of days ago.

Saturday morning, as we were heading down here, I was talking about how I spent last week, while Bill was in Bavaria. I mentioned that I got really bored one day and ended up watching a really disgusting, but apparently legal, porn video. Bill looked amused as I explained. I said, “Well, it was a really dull afternoon, and I was missing you…”

So I started to describe the video to Bill, who was nodding his head and saying, “Uh huh, uh huh… Yeah, I know.”

And I laughed and said, “Oh, so you’ve seen that one?”

That made him bust out laughing. “No!” he protested, “I haven’t seen it, but I’ve seen enough of those types of videos to know where this description is going.”

I didn’t even watch the whole video because it was just too gross for me. If the truth be told, I don’t like watching those kinds of videos because they’re either boring or disturbing. I don’t enjoy watching graphic sex scenes, especially when they’re kind of violent, as that one was. So I only lasted about two or three minutes before I moved on to something less obscene. I’d much rather read something or even write something stimulating myself, than watch a video that is poorly acted, full of nothing but mechanics or acrobatics, or liable to give me nightmares.

I did think it was funny, though, that Bill and I could have an honest conversation about that video and end up laughing. We really are good friends, as much as we are husband and wife. And we always somehow manage to have a good time together, no matter what. Like, for instance, yesterday’s excursion… which ended up consisting of visiting a much less physically challenging cave, seeing some beautiful natural settings in gorgeous fall weather, meeting new people, and watching a huge flock of sheep being driven to a new pasture. It was kind of magic… and amazing that we could share it together. I’m grateful for the time I have with Bill. He is a wonderful partner– the perfect partner for me.

I’m ready to get back on the road tomorrow. I’ve been looking forward to visiting the Czech Republic again. It’s an amazing country, with a lot to see, neat people, good food and beer, and lots of art to buy. Or, at least there was the last time we visited. I want to buy some new stuff to put on our walls.

I don’t look forward to seeing the dentist today, but once it’s over, we can focus on having a lot of fun. I’ve been missing fun lately. And these kinds of trips are what really keep us over her, anyway. I love doing deep dives into Europe, and visiting places where most Americans never have a chance to go. Best yet, these trips keep me busy, so I don’t end up watching videos that Bill can describe without having seen them.

He did say he couldn’t wait to tell his therapist about that conversation. I’m sure the guy will get a huge kick out of it. He told Bill that I probably represent the most stable relationship he’s ever had in his life. I could probably say the same thing about Bill. He loves and accepts me for who I am. In fact, he actually prefers me to be who I am, even if I do sometimes venture onto questionable Web sites when I get bored. Anyway… at least I’m still interested in sex, right?

Featured photo was taken yesterday near the Nebelhohle (Mist Cave). I miss living near a lush forest. Especially at this time of year.

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family, love, relationships, religion

No, I really AM a pseudo granny, and that’s okay…

It’s Wednesday, which means Bill will be home in a couple of days. On Saturday, we’ll pack up and go away… and boy, am I ready to go! I miss the days when we took short trips more frequently, instead of long trips every few months. But I also know this is very much a first world problem, as a lot of people don’t get to go anywhere. I think one of the reasons we stay in Europe is because we have an excuse to travel. In the States, it’s harder to get away, and there is no built in excuse. Americans who live in Europe are expected to get away and see the continent. Of course, most don’t wind up staying here for as long as we have so far.

Yesterday, I heard from Bill’s younger daughter. She’s been under the weather, as her kids– all of whom are very young– have also been sick. Younger daughter is currently pregnant, so that adds to the challenges she’s facing. Still, she managed to send a very cheerful email, so I sent her a response that included some photos of the adventure her dad and I enjoyed over the weekend.

In case you didn’t know, Bill and I visited a cave on Saturday. It was kind of tiring, but worth the effort. The pictures I sent prompted some questions. I don’t think younger daughter has ever visited a cave, so she didn’t know that they almost always require a steep walk up and down lots of stairs. I had to tell her why it was so challenging for me. I also explained why we wore hard hats (low ceilings in the cave).

We recently sent younger daughter a special care package. We usually send stuff for the kids, but this time, we sent stuff more intended for their very busy mom. I’ve previously described the contents of the care package, but for those who don’t want to look, it contained: a pair of Irish wool socks, skin cream, soaps, ginger lemon bon bons for nausea, a couple of bracelets made by a local artisan, gummi frogs, Dutch chocolate, Milkas (a local candy bar), and stroopwafels (Dutch syrup/honey cookies).

Because I have some friends who know about the extremely difficult history Bill has had with his daughters (one of whom is still completely estranged), I shared a Facebook post about the care package. Most people reacted in a positive way, although there were a few comments that were less than supportive. One person accused me of “tempting” younger daughter with junk. I suppose that could be true, although younger daughter has shown us that she is a competent adult, and I think she’s fully capable of enjoying things responsibly. Even if she isn’t, my not sending her a care package isn’t going to stop her if she wants to eat junk food.

The last thing I want to do is assume that it’s my place to advise or nag Bill’s younger daughter about something as personal as her diet. I am not her mother, but even if I were, I wouldn’t do that. My parents used to harass me about my weight and eating habits. It was toxic. So I won’t do that to younger daughter, nor will I deny her things that she likes or specifically requests because I think I know what’s “best” for her health. The reality is, I don’t know. Her doctor or another healthcare professional can advise her about such things. Or maybe Ex can do it, if she’s so inclined… although I think younger daughter mostly lets what Ex says go in one ear and out the other.

The second thing that happened is an issue that has come up a few times, ever since Bill became a grandfather. I very recently started jokingly referring to myself as a “pseudo granny”. It took a really long time before I even did that.

A lot of people seem to think it’s somehow “wrong” that I call myself “pseudo granny”, so they try to “correct” me. People who know me well, probably already know that generally speaking, I don’t like to be corrected, especially on things like this. I mean, if I’m factually wrong about something, then yeah, go ahead and correct me in a polite way. I’ll even thank you for that. When it comes to things like what I want to be called or how I think of myself, my own opinion is probably worth more than someone else’s.

More than once, well-meaning people have told me that I’m more like a “real granny”. Or if they don’t say that, they say I should refer to myself as a “bonus granny”. The vast majority of these people do not really understand the very complicated history regarding Bill and his kids. When they “correct” me for calling myself “pseudo granny”, I then feel compelled to explain to them that I have literally only met my husband’s daughters in person ONCE… and it was over 20 years ago!

I know this isn’t the norm. Most “stepmothers” know their stepchildren very well, and some know them a lot better than they’d like to. But in my case, Bill’s ex wife REFUSED to let him have any contact with his kids, which means I didn’t have any contact with them, either. Unfortunately, Bill didn’t fight Ex in court over her decision to annihilate Bill’s influence over his children, as she continued to take $2550 from him in child support every month for YEARS. I truly wish Bill had sued Ex for at least joint custody. She had no right to do what she did to Bill and his daughters. But it was NOT MY DECISION, because legally, I have no rights to them. They aren’t my daughters. Moreover, Bill’s girls are now grown women, so that’s water under the bridge, anyway.

Since I have only met younger daughter in person once, I barely feel like a stepmother, let alone a “bonus granny”. We are still just getting to know each other. Aside from that, even if she had grown up with me in her life, I don’t like the idea of adopting such a personal role without the other person’s knowledge and consent. I know a lot of people think that when you marry someone with kids, you are obligated to love them as if they are your own. I think that’s a nice thought, and I really admire those who can do that, especially when the sentiment is reciprocated. However, I think it’s actually pretty uncommon that people truly do feel that way, deep down. Sure, a lot of people SAY they do, but I think the reality is often a lot more complicated than that.

I also don’t think anyone should be shamed for not automatically having those intense feelings of familial love toward their stepparents or stepchildren. My personal opinion is that if people who marry those with children are able to achieve an authentic friendship, that’s pretty awesome stuff. If they achieve a genuine and uncomplicated “parent/child” dynamic, and manage not to step on anyone else’s toes, that’s even better. Experience has taught me, however, that those situations are pretty unusual. Again, people will say they have, but the reality is, a lot of times, they’re really just saying that. It isn’t necessarily the truth. It’s just what society likes to hear.

I’m a pretty honest person. I like to be authentic. I am very real about the difficult relationship Bill and his daughters have had, as well as the non-existent relationship I have had with them for so many years. Again… older daughter is completely estranged from Bill, and apparently thinks of #3 as her “real dad” (who was around long after she was out of diapers and lived on Bill’s money for years). Younger daughter says she never thought of #3 as her dad, but was forced to call him “Dad” by her mother, who thought it was vital for her kids to treat her third husband as their father in order for their marriage to survive. I don’t know why she felt that way. She made ex stepson call Bill “Dad”, and when it came down to it, he eventually abandoned Bill for his “real dad” (who never even paid child support, let alone visited). As you now know, Bill and Ex didn’t stay married, either.

So, for my own sake and younger daughter’s, I don’t want to rush into assuming I am in any kind of true familial relationship with younger daughter or her family. Experience has taught me that family ties, when it comes to Ex, are temporary and transactional. Not that I think younger daughter is anything like Ex, but I do know she’s been subjected to Ex’s lies and manipulations, and she’s been forced to think of people as family when they aren’t. She’s also been forced to abandon actual family members in favor of Ex’s matrimonial flavor of the decade (eye roll). In fact, younger daughter is only just now getting to know her only living biological grandparent– Bill’s mom– because Ex substituted Bill’s stepmother for Bill’s mother in the “granny” role and REFUSED to let Bill’s daughters know their grandmother.

I would be very honored if Bill’s grandchildren ever thought of me as a “granny” of any kind to them, pseudo or not. But I’ve learned not to have any expectations of that. Assuming they would ever think of me in that way is an invitation to break my own heart. Moreover, it’s entirely up to them to make the decision as to what I “am” to them.

But also, as much as I despise Bill’s ex wife, she is the actual grandmother to those children. And I wouldn’t want to do to her what she’s done to so many other people, who have gotten close to her and her children, because I think it’s WRONG. Ex has a habit of using her children as currency at the beginnings of her relationships, and weapons as the ends. I refuse to allow that to happen to me, or to innocent children.

Right now, I’m reading a very good true story about a woman whose Jewish mother died when she was a child. Her father, who was Christian, remarried a very conservative Christian woman. From the very beginning, this woman was expected to call her stepmother “Mom”, even though she’d had a mom she adored, remembered clearly, and dearly missed. She was physically punished when she referred to her stepmother as her “father’s wife”, or called her by her first name. Not only that, but the author was also uprooted from her home, moved to another state, and put in a very shitty Christian pseudo-school, where she was forced to learn/self-teach by using fundie tinged “booklets” that were full of creationist bullshit. She was also forced to deny her mother’s Jewish heritage, and replace it with her stepmother’s brand of evangelical Christianity. It was almost like a weird form of familial ethnic cleansing!

As a child, not that long after her mother’s death, this poor lady went to visit her Jewish grandmother (at least her dad let her maintain ties with her mother’s mom). She told her grandmother she was going to go to Hell because she wasn’t a Christian! Grandma, to her credit, called up former son-in-law and ripped him a new asshole for filling her granddaughter’s head with such offensive and confusing bullshit.

Imagine how traumatizing that was for the author at the time, and right now, as she’s written this book about how her father and his second wife tried to change her entire identity! What happened to her is actually pretty SICK, just as Ex’s attempt to obliterate Bill from his daughter’s memory is also very sick and wrong. Thank God it failed. I hope to finish the book soon, so I can properly review it. It’s a story I want to share with my readers.

Anyway… I know there are people out there who don’t agree with my thoughts on this. I know a lot of people have had different experiences than mine. Some of my friends are stepparents who have truly stepped into the parent role, and I do heartily applaud them for that. Especially if the reality is that those kids genuinely do see them as true parent figures. I tend to take people who make those kinds of claims at their words, unless they give me a good reason not to do that.

I, for one, am more of a realist, particularly when it comes to my own situation. And in MY situation, I don’t think I yet qualify as a granny, or a bonus granny. I barely feel like a “pseudo granny”, if I’m honest. Maybe I will feel more like a real granny or bonus granny in time. But then, maybe I won’t, and that will be okay, if that’s how it turns out in the end.

For now, I will keep calling myself “pseudo granny” , and I will not refer to Bill’s grandchildren as “mine”… at least not yet. Not until they can return the sentiment and actually mean it. It’s for my own good, as well as theirs. I hope people can respect that.

Younger daughter, by the way, did receive the care package yesterday. She was delighted with it. I think it got to her just at the nick of time, as she recovers from the residual microbial crud brought to her by her children. I hope the package from her dad and “pseudo granny” will put smiles on their faces. I do enjoy shopping for people who appreciate my efforts.

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Bill, love, marriage, music, musings, travel

It can be so good to be with someone who takes you places you never dreamed you’d be…

I took the featured photo yesterday, when Bill and I were at the bottom of a fairly deep cave. Not everyone could have taken that journey with Bill. I know his first wife would not have been able to… at least not yesterday. It was just one of many things we’ve been able to do together, but may not have been able to do with someone else.

I know it’s corny, but I get a lot of inspiration from music. This afternoon, as Bill prepares for yet another trip to Bavaria on business, I’m reminded of an old John Denver song. If you know anything about Germany, you might know that many Germans LOVE John Denver’s music. There’s a fair bet you’ll hear a stirring rendition of “Take Me Home, Country Roads” at any fest where there’s live music.

John Denver wasn’t actually the only songwriter for that song. It was also written by Bill Danoff and Taffy Nivert, a then married couple who were famously members of the 70s act, Starland Vocal Band. They were the ones who sang “Afternoon Delight”, a total guilty pleasure song about nooners. Danoff was also one of former President Bill Clinton’s classmates at Georgetown University.

I like “Take Me Home, Country Roads” as much as any survivor of the 1970s does, and I’m sure to join in singing it at any German fest. But the song in my head today is another one of John Denver’s traveling songs. It’s one that I first heard sung by Olivia Newton-John; she covered it in 1975 for her Have You Never Been Mellow album (another guilty pleasure song for me). I was a BIG Olivia fan in the 70s… still love her music today, may she rest in peace. Behold:

John Denver wrote “Follow Me”, but I identify a lot with Olivia’s cover. On the other hand, it really is John’s song, and his doesn’t include a banjo. She also changed the last couple of lines of lyrics, which kind of changes the meaning of the song.
John Denver performs his song in 1974. The words to this song make me kind of verklempt.

Check out the lyrics…

It’s by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done,
To be so in love with you and so alone.

Follow me where I go, what I do, who I know
Make it part of you to be a part of me.
Follow me up and down,
All the way and all around,
Take my hand and say you’ll follow me.

It’s long been on my mind,
You know it’s been a long, long time,
I’ve tried to find the way that I can make you understand
The way I feel about you,
And just how much I need you
To be there where I can talk to you
When there’s no one else around.

Follow me where I go, what I do, who I know
Make it part of you to be a part of me.
Follow me up and down,
All the way and all around,
Take my hand and say you’ll follow me.

You see I’d like to share my life with you
And show you things I’ve seen,
Places that I’m going to
Places where I’ve been
To have you there beside me
To never be alone
And all the time that you’re with me,
We will be at home

Follow me where I go, what I do, who I know
Make it part of you to be a part of me.
Follow me up and down,
All the way…
Take my hand and I will follow you.

I just wrote a travel post about the upcoming adventures Bill and I are looking forward to having very soon. The gist of the post was about how I’ve been fretting a little bit about my ability to do some of the things we’ve always done on our trips. I’m not a spring chicken anymore, after all. But we went to the Kubach Cave yesterday, and I managed to make it up and down many, many steps so that we might see the inside of one of Germany’s show caves.

When we got to the bottom of the cave, I looked over at Bill and said, “Here’s yet another thing you’d never be able to do with Ex.” It’s no secret that I dislike my husband’s ex wife for many valid reasons. But, the truth is, she and Bill were completely incompatible. Even if she’d been a perfect sweetheart to him, he would not have been able to go to that cave with her. She currently lacks the physical stamina or ability to make such a trip.

Even when Ex was a lot younger, she was never one to go for physically challenging walking trips. Bill said she had a tendency to “wilt” in hot weather. She was more likely to swim for long periods of time, which Bill enjoys a lot less– mainly because he doesn’t like being seen in a bathing suit. He has, however, started to appreciate the nude experiences. I doubt he would have ever done that with Ex, either. 😉

Checking out her recent social media, I see that Ex just had surgery on her ankle, which I know has given her trouble for a long time. Bill told me it stemmed from an accident she had, trying to garden with bare feet. She stepped in a hole, lost her balance, then fell over and broke her ankle. Apparently, it never properly healed. Or maybe she got hurt again and injured the other ankle.

Anyway, she just got surgery, and the meds made her sick, causing her to have to go back to the hospital. Even if she enjoyed climbing stairs and walking a lot, she literally would not have been able to go to the cave yesterday.

Thinking back on our almost 21 years together, I am amazed at the places Bill and I have managed to go, and places we still plan to see. Given the fact that neither of us ever had a lot of dating partners, it’s astonishing that we ended up together, and we’re able to have so many incredible adventures.

It’s true that a lot of the reason we’ve been able to do these things is because we’ve made certain choices. We don’t have children together. We don’t own a home. We live in Europe, so it’s a lot easier to travel to some of the world’s exotic places. We don’t currently have the tax burden in Europe that we’d have in the United States. I’ve also been making a very concerted effort to pay off debt.

I think the number one reason why we’ve been able to go on these adventures together, though, is because we want to do it. We like each other’s company; we like to do a lot of the same activities; and we make a point of seeing places and doing things together. The end result is that when we pose for pictures, like the one below, we look like we’re having a good time… because we are.

Granted, I took this photo before I climbed 456 steps one way…

I think if I could give my younger self some advice, I’d tell her not to worry about being dateless in her 20s. There’s a good chance there is someone out there waiting… the right person. And in my case, there was. On the other hand, I also know that sometimes there is no “right person”, so you have to make things work alone.

I was in the middle of trying to make things work on my own when Bill came into my life. He had a lot of baggage, and common sense would have told me to run far away from him. But I couldn’t help but be enchanted by his good nature and willingness to laugh at my jokes… some of which are pretty obscene. So I took a chance on him… and he took a chance on me, after having been through an abusive relationship with his ex wife. Now we’re both smiling, and having many wonderful adventures together.

We have been literally living John Denver’s words in “Follow Me”… which I’ll admit, we’re privileged enough to be able to do somewhat easily. I realize that not everyone can literally follow another person. Perhaps another way to take that song is metaphorically. You don’t have to physically follow someone to be on the same wavelength. You can follow them mentally and emotionally, too. For Bill and me, I’ll admit… it’s easy. We both want to do it. For others, I don’t know how easy it is.

I just know that John Denver’s words really speak to me today, as I think about how Bill and I followed each other up and down a steep cave’s steps and had an experience of a lifetime. I do mean that, because we probably won’t be visiting that cave again. But we will visit other caves… and I know that, at least for now, we can still take each other’s hands and follow each other. And I am very grateful that we are still so able to do that.

I also know that for as much as I dislike Ex… if she hadn’t been willing to let go of Bill at the precise time she did, we probably would not be having this life together. So a small part of me will always be grateful to her for that. I’m so glad I can follow Bill… and in turn, he follows me (he’s one of the few and proud, actually). And not just on social media, either. 😀

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