Today has gotten off to an interesting start. Bill stayed home this morning to help out with the new washer and dryer delivery. They are now here and hooked up, and I’ve been trying to get them connected to WiFi. So far, I managed to get the dishwasher added– we got a new one a few months ago, courtesy of the landlord. But now that I’ve spent an hour or so, trying to decipher German, I’ve concluded that the new machines can’t be connected to WiFi, because somehow in 2023, they don’t have that capability. Oh well… at least it looks like they have timers, so I can see how much time is left in a cycle. That, in and of itself, will make things easier. Our old machines didn’t even have that.
So anyway, I’m giving up on the WiFi for the new appliances. It’s not the end of the world, and maybe might even be better not to have them connected to the “smart” system we have in this house. Last night, Bill manually turned on my desk lamp and knocked it off the network, so I had to re-add it today. The lamp has two bulbs– one is labeled 12, and the other is labeled 18. I turn them on and off using an app on the iPad.
The other thing that happened is kind of comical. I went on Cruise Critic and noticed that for the first time in months, someone posted on the Hebridean Island Cruises board. It was a response to a post I wrote just after Queen Elizabeth II died. I mistakenly wrote HRH instead of “Her Majesty”. The “helpful” person decided to tell me that I got it wrong… eleven months later. I thanked them for the correction. What else could I do, other than be rude about it? She wasn’t my queen, anyway.
Which brings me to today’s title… Since it was Monday and kind of rainy outside, I decided to make a new music video. I’ve been messing around with the idea of doing a song by the Rolling Stones, but I need to work on it some more, to figure out how I want to go about it. After about an hour or so, I decided to do an “old” Pat Benatar song, instead. I chose “True Love”, a song she wrote with her husband, Neil, for her 1991 album of the same name. I know it wasn’t one of her most successful releases, but that album happens to be one of my favorites by Pat Benatar. It’s basically Pat doing the blues, at which she excels. That was the genre where she got her start, decades ago. I love to do blues songs myself, so I gave it a whirl.
I decided not to put on makeup yesterday, or even get one of my trademark shawls to wear over my usual attire. I was a little nervous about doing that, but then I realized that I didn’t look that much different without makeup. I doubt anyone cares, anyway. I don’t have a big audience, either way.
Someone new left me a really kind comment. A woman named Julie wrote “Simply awesome! Love this!”
So I responded with thanks, and “That makes my day!” (which it really does)
And she came back and wrote, “knotheadusc, you need to keep going, you are awesome, unique and beautiful!”
What an incredible mood booster that was! People are usually so quick to tear others down, and yet here was this lady, saying such a kind thing to me! It really made me feel good, and gave me some faith in humanity… until I visited RfM.
Some time ago, someone posted a thread about nudity. I decided to respond to it, because I am a big fan of nudism. Below is my first comment:
I live in Germany and in spite of my fluffy and decidedly unsexy body, I LIVE for the nude spas. It took me a long time to take the plunge, but once I did it the first time, I was hooked. I find it very liberating! And honestly, after the first few minutes, it’s no big deal at all. No one is looking at other people or mocking them. They’re at the spa to relax.
I’ve written about this a bunch of times in my blog and those are, by far, some of my most popular posts, ever.
The funny thing is, I was a lot more self-conscious about showing my face on YouTube, than I was about being naked in front of a bunch of Germans. But now, neither experience is a big deal to me, anymore. My husband, the exmo, has always been a bit bashful about his body. But even he’s learned to embrace a trip to the Friedrichsbad.
I’ve been to several textile free spas in Germany, and although I tend to be critical and shy about my appearance, I really do find the nude spas very liberating. I’ve written about the experiences Bill and I have had a few times on the travel blog, and those posts tend to be very popular. Bill is still kind of shy about the nude spas, but he indulges me. Honestly, most people are really only naked when they’re in the pools. In the saunas, or when they’re just lying around, most people cover up with a towel or wear a robe.
Quite predictably, someone came along and posted two comments, neither of which were to my comment:
——————————————————- > I have two stories on this topic. > > I was in Germany on a business trip years ago. > First night at the hotel, I decided to find the > sauna. I found the sauna. I was wearing swim > trunks and left them on, as I would in the states. > No one else was in there when I went in. > > In a few minutes, a French couple came in and sat > down with nothing on.
You make this all sound wonderful, but it’s not. I’ve been in continental Europe and have seen these types of people. Like my comment below, they are rarely the type of people you’d want to see nude. They tend to look more like the older Hilda Schwab than the younger Gina Lollobrigida. Or in the case of males, more like Ron Jeremy than Brad Pitt.
Someone responded, quite correctly:
Whoosh. People don’t go nude to arouse you or anyone else.
Nor, for that matter, does your Speedo improve the experience for others.
The second comment was further down the thread. Same person wrote this:
In reality, the type of people who tend to take their clothes off in public, rarely tend to be the people one would like to see nude.
People can whitter on all they like about body shaming, but unless you have a “beach bod” (and only a handful of us do), you should put it away.
I decided to respond to that suggestion… again, it was later in the evening.
In my experience, people in the nude spas aren’t sitting around looking at each other. They’re there to relax and are focused on themselves. They usually wear robes or wrap up in towels if they aren’t in the pools.
I don’t care if someone else thinks I’m not “hot” enough to gawk at. I’m not at the spa for anyone but me. Plus, I’m always there with my husband, anyway. He loves me for my mind.
If you’re going to nude areas inspecting other people’s bodies and judging them, you obviously don’t belong there. Spas are for healing, not ogling others.
Reading that just drove home how “cavemen like” so many people are, especially in American culture. It seems like in the United States, so many people are only concerned with the external. The fact that this person– I’m almost certain it’s a man– thinks that people ought to “put it away” because they don’t have a “beach bod” is just a reminder as to why I like living over here. Most people aren’t that shallow… and if they are, I don’t understand them, anyway. 😉
It actually took me a long time before I was ready to “take the plunge” at a textile free spa. I found the experience exhilarating, and not a big deal at all. Like I said, if you actually attend a spa, you notice that no one is staring at you… nor is it a place where there’s no one but hotties. I’m reminded of a line from Revenge of the Nerds, when the character, Lewis Skolnick, says “We have news for the ‘beautiful people’. There’s a lot more of us than there are of you.” How true that is.
I wonder what makes that person think he’s the authority on whether someone is “hot” enough to be naked in public. Everybody has a different definition of what and who is “beautiful”. It’s a subjective thing. Moreover, there are a lot of different ways to show beauty. Some people are physically attractive to most people, while others have other beautiful qualities that can’t immediately be seen. Unfortunately, there are a lot of shallow people who really only care about what makes their crotches stir.
What matters most to me, personally, is whether or not Bill finds me beautiful. He does, so that’s really all that counts, in my opinion. What some random moron thinks about my body is none of my business. But so many of these folks want to share their vile opinions. They need to mind their own business and stop emulating Donald Trump.
By the same token, I’ve been seeing a lot of crazy comments about Simone Biles, who at age 26, has decided to make another run at the Olympics. She is still a serious contender, too. At her most recent meet, she cleaned up in the medals. But people still want to shit all over her for doing what she does.
I’ve read so many toxic and ignorant comments about how she’s a “quitter”, because she opted not to compete in several events during the 2020 Olympic Games. I’ve taken to just blocking people who leave unkind comments about her, because I think anyone sitting on the couch negatively judging Simone for what she does must be a pretty shitty person. She has every right to try to make the Olympic team. She may not succeed, but she certainly has the right to try. And if she doesn’t feel safe taking a risk while competing, she has the right to make a decision not to compete. More people need to “zip it.”
It really amazes me how many people think they need to share their opinions about how other people look or what they’re doing with their lives. It just makes me wonder if these folks are just dreadful people who just want to watch the world burn. Hell, with climate change, it won’t be long before that’s a literal experience for a lot of us. Why make life worse by being toxic and rude?
Anyway… I do really appreciate the kind comment that one person left yesterday. Those are the people who give me hope for humanity.
Now… I think I will play guitar, walk Noyzi, and maybe even try out my new laundry facilities. Catch you later.
Yesterday, I wrote a post about the 1989 LDS production, Saturday’s Warrior, which I inadvertently stumbled across on Wednesday afternoon. That post generated a lot of discussion, and a surprising amount of interest among the more religiously experienced of my friends. I realized that in writing that long post, there were some things that I never got around to writing about yesterday. Part of the reason I never got around to completing my thoughts is that my initial post was pretty long and I simply ran out of “gas”. Another reason is that I wasn’t quite ready to explore it twenty-four hours ago. Again, I only discovered this “masterpiece” two days ago. There’s a lot to unpack.
So, even though I have another topic on my mind, I’m going to write a little bit more about my thoughts on Saturday’s Warrior. Some people may wonder why I would devote two posts to a LDS cultural relic that doesn’t even affect me personally. Remember, I grew up Protestant, and wasn’t introduced to Mormons until I was a young adult. Watching Saturday’s Warrior as a child didn’t “scar” me. However, after posting about this on Facebook and RfM, I realize that it affected a lot of people. Some of those people are friends I’ve never met, and some of them have been “scarred” by Saturday’s Warrior. Even if it’s just because they watched it yesterday at my prompting!
The concept of the “sweet spirit”…
One idea that I was introduced to, when I first started hanging out with ex Mormons, was the idea of the “sweet spirit”. What is a sweet spirit, you ask? A sweet spirit is a euphemism for a young woman who has a “nice personality” and not much else to offer. At least on the surface, anyway. One thing I noticed about Saturday’s Warrior, and didn’t really care for, were the digs about physical appearance. I realize that this emphasis on physical attractiveness is a thing for most everybody, especially when we’re growing.
In Mormonism, physical appearance seems to be especially important, as I think it is in other strict “culty” belief systems. I’ve noticed it among the fundies, too, in spite of their insistence that they focus on a person’s “countenance”. The girls are expected to be beautiful and thin, so they can attract a mate and have the best life. But I’ve known a lot of beautiful people who haven’t had the happiest lives. Why do we focus so much on appearance and image? It’s definitely not the best indicator of who will be happy and fulfilled.
In Saturday’s Warrior, the concept of the “sweet spirit” is mentioned in the first moments of the video. As the show begins, we’re introduced to the couple, Julie and Tod, who are in the pre-mortal existence, waiting to be born and live on Earth, where they expect they will one day meet and be a couple. We are to believe that Julie and Tod were together before, and are an “eternal couple”, yet Julie is still worried that Tod won’t find her on Earth after they’re born. Or worse, he’ll find her unattractive. Here’s the dialogue that opens their connection:
Julie: “Of course I can’t blame you for being excited… all the experience a physical body will bring… new friends and… girls.” [looking worried] “Oh, you’ll probably be EXTREMELY good looking and they’ll flock around you by the dozens!”
Tod: “Oh Julie, I can hardly wait!”
Julie: “Oh, on the other hand, I’ll probably be very PLAIN!”
Tod: “It’s enough to make you want to CRY and SING and SHOUT all at once! Hey! Somebody out there! I’m COMING!”
Julie: “Ohhh!” [turns and sobs]
Tod: “Hey, what’s the matter?”
Julie: “All you can think about is getting down to those physical bodies!”
Julie: “Oh, and GIRLS, and don’t try to hide it, Tod, you can hardly wait!”
Tod: “I can’t?”
Julie: [very upset and insecure] “Oh, so you ADMIT IT!!” [defeated] “Go on, then. Have your wild FLING on Earth! Just as long as YOU’RE happy.”
Tod: [grasping Julie’s shoulders and consoling] “Julie… how can you say such things, after all we’ve promised?”
Julie: [turning with hair flip] “What good are promises in a world where EVERYTHING will be forgotten? Even if by some miracle we DO meet? What chance is there that you could possibly recognize me?”
Tod: “Hey, how long have we known each other?”
Julie: [slightly calmer] “Forever…”
Tod: “And loved each other?”
Julie: [smiles] “Forever…”
Tod: “Do you think we’re just going to forget all of that?”
Julie: [dreamy] “Yes… [suddenly horrified] I mean NO! I mean, I don’t KNOW what I mean!”
Tod: [embracing Julie in a hug] “Julie, I LOVE you, and if I have to search the WHOLE world over, I’ll FIND you…”
Julie: [turns away, upset]
Tod: [insistently grabbing her] “And as for not recognizing each other, why, that’s like saying that the sun, and the moon, and the stars will never recognize their GLORY!” [excitedly using hand gestures] “The truth and beauty and virtue will never recognize their OWN!”
Julie: [horrified] “But what if I’m UGLY?!”
Tod: [deadpans] “Ugly?”
Julie: “I knew it! I knew it!”
Tod: [comforting] “I’m just kidding, Julie… if you were the strangest looking girl on Earth, I’d still love you.”
Julie: “Oh Tod…”
The mushy dialogue continues, with Tod reassuring Julie that her looks won’t be important to him when they finally meet. But then we’re reminded that they will forget everything that happened in the pre-existence, and, well we all know what happens when young, shallow people get together. They tend to be attracted to physical appearance. As all of this is going on, we have to suspend disbelief, as the characters talk about what it will be like to have physical bodies, when they clearly already HAVE physical bodies in the pre-mortal existence. 😉 Tod and Julie share a loving duet, and then we’re introduced to Julie’s brothers and sisters. It doesn’t take long before the concept of the “sweet spirit” comes up again.
The brothers and sisters happily talk about what it will be like when the twins, Pam and Jimmy, are born to their parents. One of the sisters proposes they all be born at once– seven up-lets! But a little brother asks, “Do you wanna kill mama in one shot?” It’s funny to realize that in 2022, there have actually been some women who have given birth to seven or eight children at one time. That was an inconceivable thought in 1989, but the miracles of modern medicine have made it possible today.
And then one of the other brothers introduces Jimmy, who does his Donny Osmond schtick. He talks about what he feared.
Jimmy: “Well naturally, I had lots of fears. But one that really had me scared is that I would have, uh, such animal magnetism, such charisma, that no one would notice my sweet spirit.”
Everyone groans, and then twin sister Pam is asked about her thoughts.
Pam: “Well, of course being a girl, my number one fear is that I would have nothing BUT a sweet spirit.”
The kids all say “no” in horrified tones.
Pam: [twirling] “But with beauty or without, as long as I can dance my way through life, that’s all that MATTERS!”
Pam turns out to be very pretty; she looks like Marie Osmond. But she winds up in a wheelchair, so there will be no dancing in her life, and having a physical disability might make her less of a “catch” to some of the shallower people in the world. She later sings a dreadful song called “Daddy’s Nose”, which shows the whole family dancing with huge, fake, beak-like noses. I read that in 2014, they changed the title to “Daddy’s Genes”. I’m not sure if that makes it better. Maybe they changed it because it’s so easy to get plastic surgery these days. Below are the lyrics:
All my friends told me take advantage of your face Other people so endowed have really gone some place So I dreamed of Hollywood till it occurred to me Someone beat me to the punch named Jimmy Durante
A nose is a nose like a rose is a rose As everybody knows But may we propose that the rosiest nose Is a one that plainly shows You ain’t got a nose less it touches your toes And it grows every time that it blows Wouldn’t be so bad if it’d stayed with ol’ dad But we’ve all got daddy’s nose
Riverdale as you know has had a lot of quaking Scientific tests were made to find out why the shaking They finally zeroed in to find the cause of all our woes We only have an earthquake when daddy blows his nose
A nose is a nose like a rose is a rose As everybody knows But may we propose that the rosiest nose Is a one that plainly shows It a rack for your clothes a plow when it snows Or use it for a garden hose Wouldn’t be so bad if it’d stayed with ol’ dad But we’ve all got daddy’s nose Mom’s even got it Yes we’ve all got daddy’s nose He really blew it Yes we’ve all got daddy’s nose
There are other parts of the show that emphasize how important looks are. For instance, the missionary, Wally Kessler, has a companion named Harold Green who is overweight. I swear, these two must have been the inspiration for Elder Price and Elder Cunningham in The Book of Mormon Musical. Harold isn’t even that fat. He just looks a little plainer and more slovenly next to Wally, who looks like one of the Osmond Brothers.
Toward the end of the show, Harold and Wally are teaching Tod the gospel. He’s an artist, who is always in the park drawing. Tod, then not LDS, had talked to Jimmy, drawing him as he could be, rather than as he was. Later, as Wally and Harold lament that they haven’t baptized anyone, they notice Tod drawing again. They take a chance– prompted by the spirit, no doubt– and there’s a montage showing how they converted Tod, making him a “better” version of himself by introducing him to the “one true church”. At one point, Wally shows Harold a film, which is handily broadcast on Harold’s stomach. Harold, like many good Mormons of the time, was wearing a white dress shirt, and his size makes it easy for his belly to serve as a screen. The message is, he’s too fat, and that makes him laughable, and less lovable, even though he redeems himself and Wally later.
And the character Julie is shown looking in the mirror, primping and admiring herself. She had been devastated that Wally went off on his mission, since she thinks he’s the one for her. But then she meets another guy named Peter and sends Wally a “dear John” letter. Harold, the overweight missionary companion, tells Wally that maybe it’s for the best, but Wally says, “What would you know about love or the pain I’m going through?” as Harold sheepishly moves away. “And to think I trusted her!”
Wally is distraught about losing Julie, so Elder Green gives him a pep talk, and looks like a fool in the process. He’s comic relief.
Then Tod and Julie sing about being the perfect people they were meant to be. There’s lots of mushy gushing, again focusing on the whole “prince and princess” romantic love, which as we all know, only exists in fairytales. Look at the British royal family! But it’s promoted in this show like it’s something that can happen if only you have the right religious beliefs.
As I was watching and re-watching this video, it occurred to me that while this show is kind of silly and entertaining, and it obviously takes some cues from some of the popular sitcoms of the 1980s, like Growing Pains and Family Ties, the overall impression I got is that, overall, Mormonism is kind of silly. One really has to overcome cognitive dissonance to buy into some of the concepts that are presented in this show. Now, before anyone comes at me, please understand that I know that Saturday’s Warrior isn’t all there is to Mormonism. It’s simply meant to be entertaining. But if you watch it, not having been raised with some of the concepts that are conveyed in this production, you might come away with some impressions that aren’t all that favorable.
I know, for instance, that physical attraction is very important to young people. I know that young people are especially aware of their looks, and that so-called “sweet spirits” might not have the best luck in attracting romantic partners. And, of course, in this production, the partners have to be of the opposite sex, since Mormons aren’t exactly supportive of couples who aren’t heterosexual. But we hear the girls worrying about not being pretty enough. And we see one of the guys being made into the fool because he’s fat.
Kudos to actor D.L. (David) Walker for pulling off the comic relief in his turn as Elder Green. He was a good sport. I see on IMDB that he’s had a lot of roles over the years. He might even be the best known of all of the actors on this program. I guess he did get the last laugh, after all. Not everyone can be a leading man, but plenty of people can be character actors, especially if there’s something unique or interesting about them. I get that message after looking up D.L. Walker on IMDB, but I wouldn’t get it if I just watched Saturday’s Warrior, which is a show that has been shown to so many LDS youngsters. In that show, Walker’s character is made to be the unattractive fool who “can’t know about love”, even though a thinking person would know that’s not necessarily true. In fact, while everyone else in this production seems to have pretty light resumes on IMDB, the “fat guy” with personality appears to have enjoyed a pretty good show biz career. He’s also been married three times. I guess he’s needed a couple of tries to find the woman he was destined to be with since the pre-existence.
One of my Facebook friends, who did attend the LDS church for a few years as a young woman, nicely summed things up. We were discussing the message of this movie, which she didn’t see when she was an active churchgoer. She wrote:
You have to have been indoctrinated. It’s for Mormons. Don’t have non-Mormon friends, don’t smoke cigarettes, don’t experience life; just stay in our dumb cult and make more Mormons. If you want to do anything else, you are very bad and will surely be unhappy. Being a total weirdo is fun! P.S. We’re not weird.
Yes… I think she’s absolutely right. To a lot of us who aren’t from a heavily Mormon area, this does come off as pretty weird. And, at least to me, it comes off as superficial, childish, and silly. I know, for instance, that there are millions of people in the world. Many, but not all, believe in a God of some sort. But to watch this movie, and listen to the opening dialogues, you come away with the idea that only the best people end up in Utah, where they will be raised LDS, and spend their lives searching for the perfect heterosexual, white mate, and their beliefs will be Mormon styled Christian. They are predestined to have a certain number of children, and their decisions in life will lead to exactly what the Mormon God intended them to be.
If you think about it, it’s kind of a lazy way to go through life. It’s as if there’s a blueprint for reaching the highest level of Heaven. Follow the steps toward righteousness, and someday, you’ll be in the Celestial Kingdom, which to me, seems like it would be a very boring place. After all, most everyone would be white, Mormon, and worried so very much about their looks before they get born again, and then spend their lives looking for the same people they knew in another life. I may need to stop and ponder that a bit.
If you assume that there’s a big plan, and God has made a plan for every single being on Earth, even if they aren’t members of the LDS church, it seems even more far fetched. But Mormons are often advised to “doubt their doubts” and “put any troubling thoughts on the shelf.” Hell, there’s even a brilliant song about that concept in the Book of Mormon Musical, which again, I think, took some inspiration from Saturday’s Warrior.
Actually, when I think about all of the stories I’ve read over the years about the damage caused by “denying” thoughts and feelings, the song “Turn It Off” really seems sad to me. How many terrible marriages happened because people denied their feelings? How many people suppressed their feelings of sadness and anger, only to have it turn into catastrophic depression and anxiety years later? How many people have actually killed themselves because they couldn’t bring themselves to deal with their truths? This isn’t just a Mormon thing, though. It’s something that many people go through in life. They feel pressured to quash their thoughts and feelings and just believe, no matter how ridiculous, upsetting, or profoundly unbelievable something is. I think it wastes a lot of time and energy, and I think strict, culty belief systems, like Mormonism, make that phenomenon even worse than it has to be.
I know a lot of people love being Mormon. Or, so they will insist if you ask them, or if they’re missionaries. But I know, having hung out on RfM for so many years, that if you don’t fit the profile in that group, it really can be hell. There’s a real emphasis on looking happy and presenting the right image. Look at the Lori Vallow Daybell and Chad Daybell case. I recently wrote a review of The Doomsday Mother, a book about that tragedy, in which a lot of people died, mainly over illusions, delusions, and image… not to mention mental illness. I also watched a Dateline episode about that case.
I couldn’t help but notice Lori Vallow Daybell’s emphasis on looks. She entered beauty pageants, for instance. One of her friends was interviewed, and I couldn’t help but notice that her friend was extremely well groomed and even looked like perhaps she’d had some plastic surgery. She definitely had coiffed hair and wore a lot of makeup. Yes, that would be expected of someone on television, but I got the sense that this was a normal thing for Lori and her friends, all of whom were very much into Mormonism. Lori has been married five times. So much for finding “the one”.
I think if I had been raised Mormon, I probably would have been considered a (not so) “sweet spirit”. I know that people have thought of me that way even outside of an image conscious organization like Mormonism. Growing up, watching my sisters, cousins, and friends date a lot, while I spent weekends alone, was hard for me. And yet, I don’t think I would have enjoyed the pressures that come from being really “pretty” and desirable to men. Years beyond adolescence, I realize that there’s a lot more to me that the exterior. Those who get to know me eventually find that out. Some people like it. Many others don’t, but the ones who like it are almost always excellent people. Also, as most people find out, I’m not actually a very “sweet” person. I can be grumpy, opinionated, and temperamental. I think I’m basically kind, deep down– but sweet, I definitely ain’t. And I am not good at faking it. Many of the people who do end up liking me have told me they like me because I’m not fake. But not everyone appreciates “au natural” me, and most people don’t take the time to consider why I am the way I am. They have enough of their own shit to figure out. 😉
Maybe it’s better that I’m not extremely well liked or admired. It takes a lot of pressure off, and I don’t have to waste my time with fake people. Because seriously… have you ever considered what a burden it is to be really physically attractive to others? You’re always attracting people who are likewise attractive, and more than a few of them turn out to be boring, entitled, and narcissistic. If you’re a nice person, you’re always turning down people who find you attractive and interesting, but perhaps you don’t have the same feelings for them. And maybe you’ll even attract sociopaths, who only look good on the surface, but deep down they’re creeps. I think of guys like Scott Peterson, who, no doubt, had plenty of women who wanted to date him. Laci Peterson may have seemed lucky when they married, but it turns out she was not lucky at all. Same goes for anyone who thought Lori Vallow Daybell was a hottie.
Anyway… I guess it’s not a bad thing that I watched Saturday’s Warrior. It did teach me some things, although maybe not what the creators had wanted to teach. I guess I’m just grateful that I’m not burdened by that kind of a belief system. I would imagine that it adds a lot of unnecessary stress and strife to life, and life is hard enough as it is. Having to worry about the exterior so much, as I follow the many rules of a very demanding religion, is not very appealing. And while the idea of a close and loving family is lovely, there is a downside to having that kind of a family. For one thing, that kind of connection makes it harder to go out and live life on one’s own terms.
I told my mother the other day that I didn’t know when, or even if, I would move back to the States. She sounded slightly sad, since she will be 84 years old this year, and she probably wonders if we’ll ever see each other again in person. But we have never had a very close relationship, and I am not close to my sisters. If I did live closer to home, I doubt we’d be any closer. And it would be easier to be caught up in conflicts and manipulations, too. I know this from personal experience. So, while I would like to be closer to family other than Bill, I also realize that not being closer is kind of a blessing in some ways. There are certainly fewer fights and petty dramas to contend with. I don’t have the time or the energy for that anymore. I’ve realized that eventually, we all mostly end up alone… or we are the ones who die first. Who wants to spend life worrying about not being a “sweet spirit”?
So I guess it’s time to end this post and get on with my Friday. I hope this post offers food for thought.
The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. If you continue to use this website without changing your cookie settings or you click "Accept" below then you are consenting to this.