complaints, narcissists, poor judgment, rants

“A man’s got to put in overtime to get me off…”

If you happened to notice the three book reviews I reposted this morning, you might have noticed a theme. This morning, I have sex on the brain. It might be because of a spam message I got on messenger yesterday.

This is just one of thirteen spam messages I got yesterday, but it’s by far the funniest of the lot.

Lately, I’ve been responding more to comments on newspaper sites. I think that has prompted spammers to send me messages like the one above. The vast majority of people write “Hallo” or “Hello” to me. I especially get tickled by the ones who think I’m German and attempt to write to me in Deutsch.

I usually just delete these messages without a second thought, but the one above cracked me up. I shared it with my friends. One even responded by inviting me to share her page with this guy. She’s kidding, of course. We shared a laugh. Laughter is a good thing right now.

Last week, I got two spams from the same guy– clearly someone from Ghana who had hijacked someone’s Facebook photo and location and was sending out these random invitations to chat. On that particular message, he referred to me as “Bud Queen” and congratulated me for looking “clean”. That one cracked me up the first time, but then he came back!

And the rest of the funny ones I’ve gotten over the past couple of weeks and shared for my friends’ amusement appear below…

As I was thinking about these “invitations” to chat with strange men, I remembered a funny scene in Eddie Murphy’s hilarious 1989 film, Coming to America. He and Arsenio Hall are in a bar meeting women, and they’re all very strange or annoying.

So much to love about this scene. I miss going out. And I relate to the woman who can’t be satisfied, starting at 35 seconds. So… I don’t think James Michael and I would be a love match.

I watched that clip again as I was writing this and it made me laugh. That’s a good thing, since I was getting pretty annoyed by the news last night. First off, I read a very pathetic article about a bunch of people who stormed the Capitol last month. In the article, it stated that many of the people who got in trouble are folks who have serious financial problems. Case in point, 50 year old Texas real estate broker and life coach Jenna Ryan, who projects an air of success and supposed sexuality is, in reality, broke. A couple of weeks ago, she was accepting donations for her legal defense fund. Then she wrote that she didn’t “need” the donations, but people would be “blessed” for helping her. Now, come to find out, she’s actually in pretty serious financial trouble and has been for awhile…

Now, y’all know me. I try to give a lot of people the benefit of the doubt. I’m not a big fan of prison. I try to realize that everyone makes mistakes. However, I am also not a big fan of narcissism and, frankly, Jenna kind of reeks narcissistic tendencies. I was about to share her Twitter, which until yesterday, was on full display. But I just went to her page and it looks like she’s deleted her account. I found my way to Jenna’s Twitter account (which should have been deleted weeks ago) after reading an article describing her as “gorgeous”.

A bunch of people were calling her out for her “attention seeking” behavior.

Most people, when they get called out like this, retreat into the shadows. But at least until yesterday, Jenna was still engaging the masses, who were not falling for her sob story. From the Washington Post:

Despite her outward signs of success, Ryan had struggled financially for years. She was still paying off a $37,000 lien for unpaid federal taxes when she was arrested. She’d nearly lost her home to foreclosure before that. She filed for bankruptcy in 2012 and faced another IRS tax lien in 2010.

And yet, just a couple of weeks ago, as she begged for donations for her legal fees, she tweeted this:

So… basically, besides being pathetic enough to fall for Trump’s bullshit and getting involved in criminal activity, Jenna is also a liar and a fraud. She’s not unlike those spammer scammers who try to engage middle-aged broads like me, thinking flattery and the promise of a sugar daddy is a “blessing”.

Jenna Ryan also recently whined about how she doesn’t think she deserves a prison sentence for doing what “her president” asked her to do. She hoped Trump would pardon her, but wasn’t smart enough to realize that Trump doesn’t reward failure. The attempt to “stop the steal” wasn’t successful and made Trump look even worse than he usually does, so he’s not going to reward anyone involved with that. Anyway… having read that story about how Ryan and her rioting pals are mostly people with no money and no hope, I was left feeling pity… for Jenna’s two mini goldendoodles, who will have to be rehomed if she winds up in prison. From the Post:

Ain’t she cute in her Trump hat?

“We just stormed the Capital,” Ryan tweeted that afternoon. “It was one of the best days of my life.”

She said she realized she was in trouble only after returning to Texas. Her phone was blowing up with messages. Her social media posts briefly made her the infamous face of the riots: the smiling real estate agent who flew in a private jet to an insurrection.

Nine days later, she turned herself in to the FBI. She was charged with two federal misdemeanors related to entering the Capitol building and disorderly conduct. Last week, federal authorities filed similar charges against two others on her flight: Jason L. Hyland, 37, of Frisco, who federal authorities said organized the trip, and Katherine S. Schwab, 32, of Colleyville, Texas.

Ryan remained defiant at first. She clashed with people who criticized her online. She told a Dallas TV station that she deserved a presidential pardon.

Then Trump left for Florida. President Biden took office. And Ryan, at home in Texas, was left to wonder what to do with her two mini-goldendoodle dogs if she goes to prison.

“Not one patriot is standing up for me,” Ryan said recently. “I’m a complete villain. I was down there based on what my president said. ‘Stop the steal.’ Now I see that it was all over nothing. He was just having us down there for an ego boost. I was there for him.”

Poor baby. My heart is breaking for her. Sounds to me like she and Trump are birds of a feather, only he’s a more charismatic and successful con man than she is.

After I was done reading about Jenna Ryan’s legal and financial woes, and those of her fellow insurrectionists, I moved on to a trio of articles that appeared in the Washington Post and The New York Times about the benefits of double masking. I’ve already vented my spleen on how I feel about being expected to “double mask” (wear two face masks at one time). I’m not going to do it again with this post. Instead, I’m going to offer an observation.

I read some of the comments for the double masking articles on The New York Times and The Washington Post. I am now left with the impression that there are a lot more obnoxious assholes per capita in the D.C. area than in New York City. Or, at least the readers of the two papers are different. The comments for the Washington Post were mostly of the virtue signaling, shaming variety, with people getting downright rude and nasty when someone dared to even joke about this subject. Or, if someone rightly pointed out the face masks don’t stop COVID-19 (and they DON’T), people would indignantly share pro mask articles.

To be clear– face masks help slow the spread of disease by preventing some of the droplets from getting into the atmosphere. They don’t actually stop the virus. Lots of people have gotten sick while wearing a mask, gloves, or anything else. What works best is physically staying the fuck away from others, which is very difficult for most people to do. Hence the need for masks.

And, as I have pointed out many times, wearing a mask does present legitimate problems for some people. Most people can wear the mask just fine, but there are some people who can’t. They have a right to be heard, too. But God forbid you dare write that in any comment section for the WaPo. You will quickly be labeled a “Trumper” or a “COVIDIOT” or something else by perfect strangers. People will immediately pile on to tell you that whatever your issues are with the masks are 100% bullshit– or they will ask you for your “qualifications”. I dare someone to ask me that. They’re usually very surprised when I tell them that I actually have a MPH from a real and accredited university, rather than the Google School of Public Health.

By contrast, on The New York Times‘ comment sections, I noticed people were much more tolerant of those making light of the suggestion to wear two masks (as opposed to simply wearing a better fitting or better quality mask). The comments were more even-handed and some were legitimately hilarious. There weren’t a lot of anti-maskers there. Instead, it was people who were a little bit more open to having a discussion without attacking. It was kind of refreshing. But then, I have spent some time in the D.C. area and I know for a fact there are a lot of self-absorbed and self-important assholes who live there. And I have visited New York a few times and I always come away with the impression that New Yorkers are a bit more cosmopolitan and sophisticated. It’s much more of a cultural melting pot than D.C. is. D.C. is a place where narcissistic people gather to get into power, and they often do it with dirty and dishonest tactics.

And finally, just before I went to sleep, I saw this photo… Many people love it. They think it’s cute and funny. Let me go on record to say that I don’t love it. If I saw this sign, even while properly donning a face mask, I would turn around and walk the other direction. Being rude and insulting is not a good business practice, in my view. Lecturing people and calling them childish or stupid is not going to change their minds.

I hate this sign. If I saw this sign, I would NOT give this person my business. It’s not because I’m “anti-mask”. I’m “anti asshole”. I don’t think this kind of confrontational and belligerent attitude is helpful. But anyway, I don’t live where this food truck is located, so I doubt this guy misses my business. My response to him would be a hearty “Fuck off.” But I would say it with my RBF.

Anyway… I apologize for the obvious tension in this post. I am a bit angsty for a lot of reasons. Germany will stay locked down until at least March 7. I’m bored and depressed and tired of all the stupid bullshit. I’m wondering what the point of living is. I think most people are assholes, mainly because I read too many comment sections and get yucky spam scams in my messenger. And I’m just tired of all the negativity, insults, and directives from perfect strangers who know about as much as what they’ve read on CNN… as well as clueless twits like Jenna Ryan, who thinks she should get a “pass” for doing incredibly stupid and self-destructive things in the name of “patriotism”.

I probably ought to go find myself a good video game or porn site and lose myself in fantasy for awhile. Maybe that will help me cope as I fantasize about my next journey out of my neighborhood. But, as I pointed out earlier, “a man’s got to put in overtime to get me off.” It’s probably a good thing my vibrator is German.

Standard
condescending twatbags, Duggars, language

I gotta go wash my hair…

Last night, just before I went to sleep, I was reading a thread on Duggar Family News about Jessa Seewald. She had posted a video of herself on Instagram, giving her sons haircuts. If you know anything about the Duggar family, you probably know that the Duggar daughters had to cut their brothers’ hair for many years.

This “shit” should be taken down?

Jessa knows how to cut hair, even if she never got professionally trained. But one person, a self-identified hairdresser, says that Jessa should not be allowed to post videos of herself cutting hair. She thinks that should be illegal! This is what she wrote:

As a hairstylist, this infringes on the education and hours I worked towards being licensed. 

She needs to take this shit down. 

No one wants to watch her give a shitty haircut from someone who never took a class and isn’t licensed. 

It should be illegal for her to make money doing that.

Um… wow. I mean, I kind of get what she means. If you went to school to learn how to cut hair and spent time and money on training and a license, you’d rather people not know how to cut hair. BUT– haircutting is not rocket science. I have cut my own hair for many years. Sometimes it looks shitty, but that could also happen if I had a professional cut it. Especially if she’s a disrespectful little twit who curses at people and doesn’t realize that especially right now, some people are having to take on certain personal tasks on their own.

I do have some empathy for people who cut hair for a living. Thanks to COVID-19, their businesses have taken a huge hit. Bill just got a haircut done by a pro last week. Prior to that, I was the one cutting his hair. I never learned how to do it through a training program. Actually, I learned how to cut hair by clipping my horse back in the 1980s and, yes, I used a YouTube video to get an idea of how to do it on a human being. I even wrote a blog post about it his first homemade haircut. It doesn’t take much skill to cut Bill’s hair. I don’t mind doing it. However, I think we’d both prefer for him to have a pro do it. Maybe even the lady who posted the above comment… although she revealed herself to be quite the saucy little snot in that thread.

I mostly kept quiet as other posters took her to task, mostly telling her to calm down and chill out. But then she posted these comments, revealing that she’s probably not the nicest person:

When I saw her comment about c-sections, I had to respond…

You have got to be kidding me. You are comparing a haircut to a C-section? I get what you’re saying, but these aren’t normal times, and the Duggar women have been cutting hair since the early days! In normal times, no one died from a haircut. But they might during the COVID crisis. 

I watched a YouTube video before cutting my husband’s hair, just to have an idea of what to do. But guess what! I managed four whole months of cutting his hair without embarrassing or killing him (due to virus exposure). I don’t see how a haircut is even remotely comparable to a C-section. That is NONSENSE.

So she turned the sauce on me… this was our exchange.

I bet she doesn’t even know what “I gotta go wash my hair” really means.

Ever heard that expression? You probably have to be of a certain age. The first time I heard it was in the film, Tootsie, starring Dustin Hoffman and Jessica Lange, among others. Jessica Lange’s character, Julie Nichols, invites “Tootsie” (Dorothy Michaels) out, and Dorothy says,

But I learned last night, that the expression “I have to wash my hair” has been around for decades. It was a popular excuse for getting out of social engagements back in the mid 20th century. In those days setting and styling hair was a time consuming process because a lot of women had perms. They would only wash their hair a couple of times a week because it meant having to set it and style it properly. They didn’t just wash and go like I do almost every day. So, back in the 50s, if a woman said she had to wash her hair, it meant she’d need a couple of hours. But nowadays, it’s just a way of blowing someone off. If someone tells you they need to go wash their hair, they’re basically telling you that attending to personal hygiene is more important than spending time with you. So you’d probably do well to heed that social cue and leave them alone.

I wasn’t interested in staying up late, trading barbs with some woman who doesn’t think amateurs should be allowed to post videos of themselves cutting hair. She seemed like an immature little bitch to me, and I needed my beauty rest. In any case, I don’t think it’s very smart for someone who provides services like hairstyling to be posting as she did. On the rare occasions that I do want to visit a professional hairstylist, I prefer to go to one who’s nice. She doesn’t seem like a very nice person. I didn’t even post the rest of her comments to others. Anyone who posted to her got a snippy, profane, bitchy response. And if I want bitchiness, I can get that for free almost ANYWHERE else. I don’t need to pay someone for it.

Given her expertise, I’m sure saucy hairstyler would fault me for washing my own hair instead of paying someone like her to do it. After all, she has special training and a license…

Perish the thought of someone doing something while unlicensed!
Party’s over! Sorry, this is unrelated to my post. I just think it’s funny. God, I miss the 80s.

Most people visit a professional to get their hair done. But right now, as many folks are out of work and/or worried about being exposed to the coronavirus, people are learning how to cut each other’s hair. I would imagine that is an especially valuable skill to moms right now, because some places are requiring that kids wear face masks and not all kids can tolerate them. Some places don’t want the parent to go into the salon with the child, which can also lead to disaster. So while I’m not necessarily a Jessa fan, I think she’s probably done a great service to some people who are trying to navigate life during the pandemic.

I also like the way Jessa responded to some rude person who asked her if she was pregnant. This has happened to me before (by a French waiter, no less), and it’s never a welcome topic.

Wow. Some people are shameless!

Here’s a tip. It’s NEVER alright to ask a woman if she’s pregnant. If she wants you to know, she will tell you. You don’t need to speculate. Women have “bumps” for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes it’s caused by pregnancy. Sometimes it’s caused by medical issues that are none of your business. And sometimes, it’s caused by eating too much. If she’s pregnant and she wants you to know, let her go ahead and announce it when she’s ready. Otherwise, zip it. There’s a good chance you’ll embarrass her and yourself. And if you’re in the service industry, like the disrespectful twatbag that inspired this post is, it’s doubly important to STFU. If you rely on tips, you don’t want to upset your customer. Here’s a visual aid to help you remember when it’s okay to ask a woman if she’s pregnant.

Seriously.

Well, that about does it for today… at least for the time being. Enjoy your Monday.

Standard