Tag Archives: being sick

tragedies, travel

My second day to be 51…

Hi, everybody. I decided to skip posting yesterday because I caught a virus and was feeling pretty wretched. I did put some posts up on the travel blog, but they were mostly photos. I didn’t take too many of them yesterday, because I slept for most of the day, fighting off a common cold. I’m happy to report that sleeping on my birthday was a wise move, as I feel much better today and will probably be mostly fine by tomorrow.

We are flying to Stockholm tomorrow morning, and should get there at around lunchtime. I’m glad to be going, because although I have enjoyed Bergen and there’s a lot we didn’t get to do that I wanted to do, we’ve spent four nights here. I am ready for new scenery!

I suspect our digs will get a lot swankier on the ship, too. At the very least, I can get my laundry done!

I’ve been reading about the men in the Ocean Gate Submersible. Lots of people are posting really ugly thoughts about them, basically saying they deserve to die because they’re “rich, spoiled, tourists”. Frankly, I have a hard time feeling that way about them… especially the 19 year old young man who was aboard with his father. I think it must be terrifying to be trapped in a vessel under the ocean, knowing that if you aren’t rescued, you will die of hypoxia.

I don’t think many people deserve such a horrible fate. I certainly wouldn’t wish it on someone simply because they happen to be very wealthy. Anyway, I do hope they are found relatively safe.

I’m glad my second day of being 51 was better than my first day. I did experience that legendary surge of energy when a cold starts moving to the next phase. Now, I’m pretty tired, and ready to crash. I’ll probably write more tomorrow from Stockholm tomorrow, but tonight, I’m going to dump more photos on the travel blog. So, if you’re interested in that, be sure to click the link at the top of the page.

The featured photo was taken at the top of the mountain overlooking Bergen. They have goats up there who are even friendlier than they seemed!

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family, healthcare, memories, obits

I’ve finally joined the COVID Club… and saying goodbye to my Uncle Ed…

I swear, on Friday, I thought I was feeling better. I was feeling well enough that I thought maybe we could go to a wine fest this weekend. But yesterday, I realized that I felt tired, and didn’t really want to walk around in the hot sun. We stayed home and hung out. This morning, I woke up early, then fell asleep until 9:00 am, which is unusual for me these days. Remembering that COVID tests can end up being positive a couple of days after a negative test, I took a test this morning. Sure enough, it came up positive. See the featured photo for proof.

Bill has no symptoms of COVID. He has a doctor’s appointment tomorrow, so he’s going to test. I’ll be surprised if he’s negative, but he hasn’t been sick. I can think of a few places where I might have picked up this germ, even though we haven’t done much in the past couple of weeks. I probably got it at the wine stand, since we ran into a fellow American who said that COVID had visited their house and her partner was still sick with it.

I’m not very sick. I’m just kind of tired and a little crankier than usual. I have a productive cough, some nasal congestion, and a low grade fever. It honestly feels like the back end of a cold. I think last month’s sickness was a cold, because I had a really runny nose that was so bad that my skin got raw. This time, I didn’t get a runny nose, but I do have a slight fever, which I didn’t get last month. Anyway, I am no longer a “COVID virgin”. I figured this was bound to happen sooner or later, though. I’m glad I got vaccinated, because this isn’t much fun, but it’s nothing deadly. At least not at this point.

Speaking of deadly… I got confirmation this morning that my Uncle Ed, has, in fact, crossed over to the other side. I don’t know the details, other than it happened in the morning. I chatted with my sister yesterday, and she said that Ed had a mass on his lung that he decided not to treat. She said he also had a skin condition, along with pneumonia. The man was 85 years old, so it was probably time for him to go. I don’t feel sad that he died, but I do wish our last conversation hadn’t been the way it was.

I have a lot of good memories of my uncle. When I was about ten years old, he took a bunch of us cousins to the James River and we went fishing with homemade fishing poles and worms. Another time, he took us to Tank Hollow, a swimming hole near my Granny’s house. We all rode in the back of my uncle’s pickup truck… ahh, the things we could get away with in the late 70s and early 80s! I remember jumping off the waterfall into the frigid mountain water, having the time of my life.

In later years, Ed was a lot of fun at our family reunions every Thanksgiving. I remember dancing with him once and cutting a really nasty fart. He laughed at me and said, “YOU FARTED!” And I remember sharing moonshine with him, as he told funny stories about my dad, his older brother. As they got older, my dad and Ed looked like twins. Dad was four years older, though, and died four years younger than Ed has. Both of them died in July… Dad on the 9th, and Ed on the 23rd. Two weeks apart, and Ed’s death is a day after the fifteenth anniversary of Granny’s death.

Unfortunately, Dad and Ed also had alcoholism in common, and they were both abusive when they drank too much. Actually, my dad was usually kind of melancholy when he drank, but sometimes he’d go into violent rages. I don’t know how Ed was on a normal “bender”, but I was once on the receiving end of one of his tirades… in fact, that was the last time we communicated. I can’t abide verbal abuse anymore. I’ve been too saturated with it, and now when someone goes “off” on me, that’s pretty much the death knell for the relationship. I make exceptions for a few people, but I’ve found that people who feel emboldened enough to be verbally abusive don’t tend to learn from their mistakes.

Ed was mostly a lot of fun, though. He was, overall, a great uncle to me. I like to think of him going to his late wife, Nance, who died in 2010 after having had Alzheimer’s Disease and a heart attack. Together, they were boisterous and opinionated, and they had a lot of spirited debates fueled by Wild Turkey and Busch beer. They were both very politically conservative, but I think Nance was more liberal about some things than Ed was.

I remember Nance having a very spirited debate with my late cousin, Karen. Karen was a devout Christian and very pro life. She was wearing a pro-life t-shirt. Nance took her to task over it, because she had been a nurse for Planned Parenthood, and she had seen scared girls who sought abortions. It changed her opinion about abortion. And Nance was the kind of “in your face” person who would get into arguments at the drop of a hat. She confronted Karen about her shirt, and the two of them had a discussion about abortion in my grandmother’s kitchen. Karen was going on about how abortion was an affront to God, and it was wrong to destroy God’s creations. And Nance was all about the practical, having been a nurse, and knowing that sometimes having an abortion is the most responsible and compassionate action a person can take. It was an interesting conversation. I didn’t enjoy getting into arguments with either of them myself, but it was kind of fun being a spectator when they debated.

It’s strange to think that Nance, Karen, and Ed are all gone now, but if there is a Heaven, they’re probably all rejoicing at the reunion. I like to think of them as all healthy, vital, and having spirited debates with all the Wild Turkey they want… although I don’t think Karen was a fan of boozing.

Anyway… I hope Ed is at peace and has reunited with the ones who went before him. And I hope I get over this sickness soon. It’s been cramping my style for six days now. I’m so glad I didn’t go anywhere this week, except for a walk. I guess I’ll keep taking it easy, and hopefully will be on the mend very soon. I’m tired of my style being cramped. I want to make some music again. Guess I’ll have to stick to guitar until all this snot goes away.

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Armenia, emergencies, first world problems, funny stories, Germany, Trump, YouTube

When the lights go out in Germany…

Whenever Bill goes away, I’m always soon reminded of how much I miss him when he’s not home. Especially when there’s a heatwave, and I’m sick with a virus.

It got super hot again yesterday and the temperatures were north of 99 degrees. That is historically a rare thing in Germany, but is sadly becoming a more common occurrence, thanks to global climate change. I read in the weather report that we might get a thunderstorm last night. I was actually hoping for that, because I was sweating so much, in spite of the air conditioner and fan we have in our bedroom. Unfortunately, we have portable ACs, and they usually require hot air stoppers.

Thanks to our previous landlady’s total conniption about us trying to be comfortable in her house during previous brutal summers, I haven’t really wanted to install the hot air stoppers in this house. Also, under normal circumstances, we can drop the shutters all the way down and snake the hoses that go with the air conditioners on the floor, and out of the balcony doors. In ex landlady’s house, we didn’t have balconies, so that wouldn’t have worked. The hoses would not have stayed in place. Our current landlord is very cool about us acting like this is our house, within reason, of course. But I’m still kind of traumatized by the behaviors of our former landlady, whom we ended up successfully suing for our deposit.

Even with the shutters down, though, because we don’t have the hot air stoppers, there is nothing to stop hot air from coming in. It usually doesn’t matter too much, since it’s usually not that hot here. At night, if we close the bedroom door, the room gets nice and cool, and Arran isn’t able to sneak downstairs and pee on my rug. But yesterday and the day before were exceptionally hot and sticky days. It was pretty uncomfortable, especially since I’m also not 100% well.

So anyway, there I was sitting in bed when the thunderstorm finally started, at about 8:30pm. I was watching an 80s era made for TV movie on YouTube. Suddenly, at about 8:45, there was a tremendous bang, and there went the power. The room was plunged into darkness, and there was no more air… and I was just sweating like crazy. I put my hair up and even rinsed off in the shower, because it was just so gross. Fortunately, I had just topped up the cell coverage on my iPad, which I don’t usually do unless we’re going on a trip. I did it the other day, because our Internet coverage in this house is pretty unreliable at times, and it’s good to have a cell connection in case it crashes.

The storm dumped some much needed rain and cooled things down a bit, not that I could immediately tell. I was coughing, sneezing, wiping my nose, and getting crankier by the minute. Fortunately, the fire brigade was on the spot, and they responded to the outage very quickly. The lights were back about an hour later. I love that about Germany, because power outages are pretty rare here, and when they do occur, they tend to be very brief.

My two years in Armenia in the 90s, where power outages were very common, have caused me to be a lot less tolerant of them in the “more developed world”. I can remember loving outages when I was a kid. They seemed “cool”. As an adult, I don’t think they’re any fun at all. I guess enduring a six week straight stint, without any power at all, will do that to a person. It turned out my Armenian neighbor hadn’t known I was living there, and cut my power so it would go to his apartment. It seemed that a lot of male Armenians in the 90s were all amateur electricians! Once he realized he had a neighbor, my former neighbor fixed my line for me, and I went back to having power for 2 to 4 hours per day. Not long after that, another neighbor harassed me, and I ended up moving out of that building.

Funny story about that. The harasser lived a level down from me, and one night, as I was coming back from a night out, he was in the hall, messing with the hall light. I tried to pass him, and he grabbed my arm and wouldn’t let go. He held my arm in a vise-like grip and kept telling me in Armenian not to scream, but I was petrified, because one of my colleagues was recently sexually assaulted and beaten up in her village, and it landed her in the hospital. Then she had to be medevacked to the States. I had visions of her black eyes, broken nose, fractured teeth, and beaten face in my head, as this guy held my arm and menacingly warned me not to scream. I was so scared that I couldn’t think how to respond in his language, but he could obviously tell I didn’t want to talk to him or be near him. For all I know, he was trying to tell me about the lights, but he had my arm, was telling me not to scream, and wouldn’t let go of me. So draw your own conclusions about what I was thinking at the time.

I informed the powers that be at the Peace Corps office, and they sent one of their drivers to come over to speak to my neighbor. The driver was the husband of the Country Director’s secretary, and he was a big, imposing, Mafia-esque looking guy. He basically told the guy to leave me alone, or there would be big trouble. I was told that my neighbor was pretty terrified, as the Peace Corps driver was quite intimidating, and made it clear that he would beat the ever loving shit out of the guy if he ever bothered me again (or, at least it was strongly implied). I never had any more trouble with him, but I never felt safe in that apartment again. And then my landlady decided to sell it, so I had to move anyway.

Not long after my neighbor imposed six week power outage, Armenia decided to restart Metzamor, a nuclear power plant they had shut down in the late 80s after Chernobyl and a massive earthquake destroyed a good portion of the country and killed tens of thousands of people. When I was living in Armenia, some experts, including a few from the United States, examined the facility and decided it was safe.

The Peace Corps gave all us Volunteers little bottles of iodine pills, in case there was an explosion. They were supposed to protect our thyroid glands. I don’t know… seems to me that if there was a nuclear accident, our thyroid glands would be one of the last things we’d be concerned about. Fortunately, Metzamor was still functional, and during the summer of my second year, we finally got electricity 24/7. That was quite an amazing thing to experience, especially as a privileged American. As far as I know, that’s how things still are in most areas. I’m sure today’s Volunteers will never know the pain groups A1, A2, and A3 endured, back in the early days of Peace Corps/Armenia. 😉

So… as you might be able to understand, I really don’t like power outages, especially when I’m home alone. And that seems to be when they happen the most frequently. Fortunately, I had my two dogs with me to protect me. Even Noyzi, who doesn’t tend to hang around with me in the evenings, stayed in the room with me, even until after the lights came on and I went to sleep. He eventually got up and went into his own room, which required me to open the door for him. Then Arran got me up at 1:30 am for a pee break, and then again at 4:00 am, because he wanted his breakfast. I tried to go to sleep again after that, but was too busy coughing. I’ll probably need another nap today, like I did yesterday.

I’m glad last night’s power outage was short lived, although I did hear that there was a fire caused by the lightening. Again, Germany has excellent firefighters, so the blaze was quickly contained. The weather seems a bit cooler today, so maybe the dogs will finally get their walk. I’ve skipped it twice this week, because of the heat and my sickness. I do feel somewhat better today, except for the coughing and mucous. You know how it is. It seems like it’s always the worst right when I wake up and have to clear all of the crap that settled in my lungs overnight. Again, I don’t know if this is COVID-19. The one test I took said it wasn’t. This virus isn’t like last month’s, though, which also evidently wasn’t COVID. I haven’t had a super runny nose, which is a blessing, since that always causes a wound under my nostrils. I also haven’t had a fever or body aches or any weird symptoms. It really is just like a regular cold, minus the runny nose phase.

Bill is also supposed to come home tonight, after he finishes working today. He’ll probably get home in the evening, and we’ll be grumpy together, as the heat hangs around a bit longer. I told him I want to get out of here… definitely for a vacation somewhere cooler. Maybe we can do something in September, after the Germans have had their holidays in August, but before COVID-19 ramps up again!

On another note, I did manage to catch some of Ivana Trump’s funeral. Or, what was shown outside the church, anyway. I’m not surprised she had a golden casket, or that her rapist ex husband was there.

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Bill, complaints, healthcare, law, rants

“Sorry to wake you, darling…”

Those were Bill’s words to me at about 5:00am, as he kissed me goodbye today. He had to drive to Stuttgart again for an overnight business trip. We did a COVID-19 test yesterday, since I’m sick again. It was negative. Bill is feeling alright so far. I don’t know what this bug is. For all I know, my body is catching all the stuff it avoided for the past few years. My sore throat is mostly better now, but I have a stuffy, slightly runny nose, and there’s coughing and occasional sneezing. It’s basically a case of the sniffles.

I still have my tonsils…

It’s really hot here in Germany, which makes me glad we have two portable air conditioners. On the other hand, energy prices are going up, so that may mean I’ll regret making myself comfortable when we get the bill. I didn’t walk the dogs yesterday, because it was so hot, and because I’m sick and don’t want to share it with anyone. Of course, Bill is probably going to share it with his friends in Stuttgart, anyway.

It’s crazy that before June, I couldn’t remember the last time I was sick with a cold. Now, I’ve had two bouts within a month. They’re probably both COVID, but the test isn’t showing that… and I’m not going to keep testing until I get a positive result, unless I’m not getting better. People tell me to keep testing, but why would I want to do that? It’s not like it’s fun, or anything. I may try to do a short walk with the boys today, since they love their walks and the fresh air might do me some good. I don’t usually run into people when we take walks, anyway. And it will give me a chance to see the brand new toilet facility that was erected in our village. 😉

On the bright side, if this is COVID, I’m definitely not super ill. It’s really more of a nuisance than anything else. I don’t feel well, but I’m not deathly ill or even moderately sick. I’m just kind of miserable, and it’s made worse by the heat, and the fact that Bill had to go away again. But he was kind enough to leave me coffee in the jug and a couple of fresh German doughnuts.

Last night, as I was reading more about the state of things in the United States, I commented to Bill that I’m starting to hate men. Then I added, I don’t hate all men… just the ones that have no compassion and espouse misogyny. I’ve been so angry about this Supreme Court decision regarding abortion, and I know it’s only the beginning. I started listing things we should do… like avoiding spending money in states that don’t value women’s healthcare. That means no trips to places like godforsaken Texas, even though I am technically a resident. I hope there’s a mass exodus of smart people from those places. I hope the women there REFUSE to do anything sexual with men, unless they’ve either had a vasectomy, or they are in a loving relationship in which a pregnancy would be welcome. I hope women start suing the hell out of doctors who refuse to give them appropriate medical care when they need an abortion for genuine medical reasons. I hope the men who knock up women start getting sued for child and pregnancy support before the babies are born. I want this decision to be PAINFUL… especially for the men who think it’s a good thing that women are now worth less than their unborn fetuses are. And I hope the Supreme Court Justices who made this decision never see another peaceful day in their miserable lifetimes.

But then I looked at Bill, who is such a kind and loving man, and was actually hurt by a woman who took advantage of being female. I realize that I don’t really hate men. I’m just angry, and I feel helpless. What I really want is fairness and privacy for everybody. And I want things to be less surreal and… horrible. I think another season of The Handmaid’s Tale is about to come out. I’m not sure if I can bear to watch it now, because it’s too close to reality.

It probably doesn’t help matters that I’ve been reading a book about Roe v. Wade. The book is really long, and it’s been slow going trying to get through it, because I fall asleep after a few pages, not because it’s a dull book, but because I literally can’t keep my eyes open. I don’t typically sleep seven or eight hours straight, and I often need a nap in the afternoons, especially if I try to read. It may be time to use Audible, at least until I can get a new contact lens prescription. Last night, I couldn’t even read the instructions on the insert that came with the COVID test. Getting older sucks… except for the fact that I know I’ll never be forced to give birth.

I’m pretty sure this episode of Rachel Maddow’s show was why I got so angry… starting at 13:45. Pregnant women are already being denied proper healthcare because of the fucking imbeciles who want to ban abortion. THIS MAKES ME SO ANGRY!

I always recommend Rachel Maddow’s show, because she’s sharp and savvy, and she has a quick wit. But if you are as angry about the overturning of Roe v. Wade as I am, I encourage you to watch from 13:45 and see what’s already happening to women, not even ONE MONTH after the ruling was overturned. And then, if you’re still curious about who will be harmed by these new laws springing up, have a look at this unlocked article from The New York Times about what happens to children who are forced to stay pregnant. It’s definitely not a pretty sight. Ten year olds are not physiologically prepared to have babies. Their bodies simply aren’t ready. These are people who still need booster seats in the car, for God’s sake!

So yeah… I am sick, hot, tired, and ANGRY. And fed up… I feel a little like Mommie Dearest… although, I’m obviously not as happy as she is in this scene. I just wish I was “raging mad” with the flu, so I wouldn’t even have to listen.

I won’t be winning an Oscar for my rantings.

But since Bill isn’t here, and I’m in no shape to do musical stuff, maybe I’ll get started on that satire that’s been rattling around in my head. Especially since now, there’s no “minder” around to make sure I don’t offend anyone.

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blog news, healthcare, poor judgment, true crime, videos, YouTube

Did the ‘rona finally get me? It’s not clear at this point…

This is probably going to be a short post, because I’ve already written a travel post and I have a splitting headache. My nose is running; I’m coughing and sneezing; and I threw up breakfast (due to coughing). I don’t have a fever, body aches, or exhaustion at this point. I can also still smell and taste things. I just feel like I have a bad cold. We did a COVID test last night. It was negative. So far, Bill has no symptoms of whatever’s got me.

I don’t know if this is COVID-19. We’ll probably test again later to see if I have a positive result. If it is COVID-19, I am grateful to be vaccinated. This shit sucks… but it’s not as bad as the last flu I had, in which I felt like I was dropped off a building and run over repeatedly by a truck. I’m also grateful that we made it home before I started feeling sick. If I have to feel like warmed over shit, I prefer to be in my own bed.

I actually slept pretty well last night, and woke up feeling slightly more energetic, except for the headache. The most annoying thing about this is that my nose is running constantly. I feel like I have to hold a tissue to my nose all the time. That, and the coughing fits that make me puke. That’s not unusual for me, though. I normally cough a lot because I have cough variant asthma caused by allergies. If I had itchy eyes, I would almost assume this was allergies.

Even if I do now have COVID, though, I figure it was only a matter of time. Unfortunately, I think COVID is one of those bugs that is going to get everyone at some point. Just like everyone occasionally gets colds and, to a lesser extent, the flu, I think COVID is going to be one of those sicknesses that spreads to the masses.

Anyway… even though I could probably rant about something today, I just don’t feel like it… so I’m just going to leave this post at that, and go enjoy my clean sheets. I’m grateful I had enough spunk to at least freshen those up a bit. And I’m super glad we bought an air conditioner for the bedroom a few years ago. It would really suck if I had to be sick and swelter in the heat… which isn’t so bad today, but the house is holding heat from the past few days.

Maybe I’ll find something crazy or funny enough to blog about… Actually, for now, I would encourage those who enjoy cop bodycam videos to check out this one. It’s classic– and it’s not safe for work, because there’s a lot of yelling and cussing. But I sure laughed watching it, and had to see it twice. I’ll probably watch it again in an attempt to get some endorphins going. These cops are to be commended for not losing their shit on this guy. Seriously… they have to deal with some very disrespectful people!

This guy is really too much.

And just in case I do have ‘rona, I’m going to stay inside and hope Bill can walk the dogs later.

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