Tag Archives: Bill Cosby

celebrities, law, true crime

Bill Cosby has been sprung from the joint…

Last night, I was startled by a headline about the man who was once called “America’s Dad”. Bill Cosby, who has spent the best part of the last three years in a Pennsylvania prison for drugging and sexually assaulting Andrea Constand in 2004, was released from the joint on a technicality. The Pennsylvania Supreme Court overturned Cosby’s 2018 conviction for sexual assault, for which Cosby was sentenced to 3 to 10 years in a maximum security prison. As of September, Cosby would have served the minimum time of three years.

He’s out of the jug.

Cosby was released because of a “non-prosecution agreement” he had with a previous prosecutor who had decided not to prosecute Cosby for sexual assault. The agreement meant that Cosby should not have been charged. Although more than sixty women have come forward to allege that Cosby had also victimized them, the statute of limitations has passed, making any future prosecution unlikely. According to The New York Times:

In their 79-page opinion, the judges wrote that a previous prosecutor’s statement that Mr. Cosby would not face charges, which paved the way for Mr. Cosby to testify in a civil trial, meant that he should not have been charged in the case. It was a 6-to-1 ruling, with two of the judges in the majority dissenting on the remedy, which barred a retrial.

In 2005, Cosby was investigated following allegations from Andrea Constand that he had given her drugs and sexually assaulted her. Former Montgomery County district attorney, Bruce L. Castor, had stated in a press release, at the time, that he had found “insufficient evidence” to criminally prosecute Cosby. Ms. Constand then brought a civil suit against Cosby, which they settled in 2006. Cosby eventually paid Constand $3.38 million. In the course of that civil suit, Cosby made incriminating statements against himself, based on assurances by Castor that he would not be held criminally liable.

In December 2015, Bruce L. Castor’s successors reopened the criminal case against Cosby, just days before the 12 year statute of limitations would have expired. Over 60 women had come forward to accuse Cosby of sexually assaulting them– the case was gathering steam just as the #MeToo movement was heating up, which no doubt increased pressure for Cosby to be convicted.

Cosby had admitted during the 2006 civil suit that he had given “quaaludes to women he was pursuing for sex”. That evidence was used in the criminal case against him in 2015, but because he’d had that agreement with Castor, he never should have been charged. Consequently, the Pennsylvania Supreme Court ruled that “…in light of these circumstances, the subsequent decision by successor D. A.s to prosecute Cosby violated Cosby’s due process rights.” 

Although I know a lot of people are disappointed that Cosby was released, personally, I don’t have much of a problem with it. Cosby is almost 84 years old, essentially blind, and extremely unlikely to repeat his crime. I doubt any women will be visiting him in an attempt to bolster their careers. I also doubt any women with sense would accept drinks or pills from Mr. Cosby. Any women that would do that should have their heads examined.

Cosby definitely should have been prosecuted years ago, but he wasn’t. And it does sound like his rights to due process were violated. Since I would hope for fairness and due process if I, or someone I love, was ever accused of a crime, I expect proper due process for other people. That includes people who are clearly guilty, which I believe wholeheartedly that Cosby is.

We should all remember that the fact that Cosby was released from prison on a technicality doesn’t make him any less culpable in his crimes against women. His reputation and career are now pretty much ruined. Hopefully, he’ll go home and live out his remaining years quietly with his faithful wife, Camille. Unfortunately, I don’t think Cosby will keep quiet. He’s always fancied himself someone with something to say, and I suspect being released from prison will embolden him. In fact, after being released, Cosby “called in to local Philadelphia radio station WDAS-FM, where he said the audience needed ‘clarity, they need guidance.'”

“Because this is not just a Black thing,” Cosby said. “This is for all the people who have been imprisoned wrongfully regardless of race, color, or creed. Because I met them in there. People who talked about what happened and what they did. And I know there are many liars out there.”

Camille Cosby, made some shameful comparisons of Cosby’s case to that of Emmett Till’s. Emmett Till was a black fourteen year old boy who was lynched in 1955 after being accused of “leering” at a white woman. Mrs. Cosby also blamed the media for “demonizing” Bill Cosby– although Cosby had no issues using the media to promote his long and successful career. It just doesn’t wash… but at least now that Cosby’s been released, some of the accusations of racism regarding his case might be put to rest.

As for Bruce L. Castor, he’s gone on to bigger things. This year, he served as a lawyer for Trump during his second impeachment trial. Castor says that he feels “exonerated” by the ruling allowing Cosby his freedom. According to The New York Times, Castor said:

“I was right back in 2005 and I’m right in 2021… I’m proud of our Supreme Court for having the courage to make an unpopular decision.”

Except Cosby actually admitted to drugging women he was pursuing for sex. Castor didn’t find sufficient evidence in 2005 to prosecute “America’s Dad”, but clearly Cosby was guilty. I don’t quite understand why Castor would congratulate himself for not finding evidence against Cosby in 2005, when it’s quite clear that Cosby had a long standing habit of sexually assaulting women and getting away with it.

I do think it’s good that Cosby went to prison. I’m sure that experience was very humiliating and educational for him, although upon his release from the joint, Cosby is claiming that a lot of people who have been imprisoned are innocent and have been victimized by “liars”. That may be true. There may be people in prison who don’t belong there. However, I don’t believe Cosby is among the innocent people who were falsely imprisoned. He openly admitted to drugging women he was pursuing for sex. Cosby’s release is strictly because court officials screwed up– not because someone “lied”.

I think Andrea Constand should be commended for bravely coming forward and doing her part to stop Cosby from hurting other women. If Cosby were younger and still posed a serious threat to women, I might be much more outraged that he’s been released from prison. But I honestly don’t think he will continue his habit of drugging and raping women. As a general rule, I think prison should be for people who are violent and pose a threat to others. That’s just my personal opinion.

I know a lot of people think Cosby should continue to rot in prison to serve as an “example” to others. But in my experience, people who are narcissistic criminals aren’t influenced by what happens to others. They think they’re above it, and they don’t ever expect to get caught. Cosby got away with his crimes for years. Why shouldn’t he have believed that he’d continue to get away with what he was doing? He didn’t learn from watching O.J. Simpson go to prison, did he? I notice we *finally* don’t hear much from O.J. anymore.

And look at Trump. Trump openly admitted to assaulting women and countless women have accused him of assaulting them, including a teenaged girl. Yet he was the president, and many people still want him to lead the country, despite his dismal record and obviously terrible leadership. Unfortunately, Americans are often hesitant to punish powerful, charismatic men. The proof of that is in the Jello Pudding Pop…

Tasteless Cosby memes. There was a time when he encouraged people to make memes featuring him. He came to regret it.

Anyway… while I empathize with everyone who is disappointed that Cosby is out of prison now, I don’t see how being outraged about this will make things better. What’s done is done. Cosby can’t be prosecuted again for this crime. That’s a feature of our legal system. So my being outraged about Cosby’s release will do nothing more than raise my blood pressure. Given the state of the world today, and the rising numbers of people getting sick with new variants of COVID-19, I figure I have bigger fish to fry. So since I can’t do anything about this, I wish Mr. Cosby luck, and I hope he stays out of trouble. He would do well to STFU and be grateful, too… maybe show some humility. I don’t think he will, though. His kind never does.

Standard
book reviews

A review of Lenny Kravitz’s Let Love Rule…

The official video for Lenny Kravitz’s hit song and the title of his book.

As a child of the 70s and 80s, I was a big fan of The Cosby Show, before we all found out what a molesting creep Bill Cosby is. Lenny’s first wife, Lisa Bonet, starred as Denise Huxtable on that show, as well as A Different World. But I didn’t know until much later that Lenny’s mom was also someone I admired, Roxie Roker, who played Helen Willis on The Jeffersons, another show from my childhood that I loved. With all of these relics from my youth in his life, it was only natural that I’d want to read Kravtiz’s recent book, Let Love Rule, which he co-wrote with David Ritz. Let Love Rule was just published last month and, unlike I was when his music first came out, I was an early partaker. I bought it just two days after it was released. Sadly, I no longer read as fast as I used to, and I just now finished reading it this morning.

I love a good memoir, especially when it’s about a musician I really admire. Although I wasn’t one of Lenny Kravitz’s earliest fans when he burst into the limelight about thirty years ago, once I did discover his music, I became a devoted fan. He’s someone who takes familiar sounds of other artists– people like Prince, Jimi Hendrix, or John Lennon, or bands like Led Zeppelin or Earth, Wind, & Fire, and turns them into something uniquely his. I think the first song I ever heard by Lenny was “It Ain’t Over Til It’s Over”, which reminded me so much of Earth, Wind, & Fire’s “That’s the Way of the World”, yet with a unique and original twist.

The song that introduced me to Lenny Kravitz.

Let Love Rule is a breakdown of Lenny’s first 25 years of life. Even if he hadn’t been an incredibly talented rock star, I’d say his first 25 years were book worthy. Born in New York City on May 26, 1964, he is the only child of the aforementioned elegant, Christian, Black actress, Roxie Roker, and White, Russian Jewish, NBC television news producer, Sy Kravitz. He spent his earliest years in New York, dividing his time between his mother’s Bahamian parents’ house in Bedford-Stuyvesant and Manhattan. Lenny Kravitz is a second cousin of television weather man Al Roker’s. Their grandfathers were brothers. He was named after his father’s brother, Private First Class Leonard Kravtiz, who was killed in action during the Korean War.

By the time he was five years old, Lenny– who in those days spelled his name Lennie– knew he wanted to be a musician. He started with banging pots and pans in the kitchen and graduated to guitar and singing. His mother, in particular, encouraged Lenny’s artistic and musical pursuits and took him to a lot of shows, including The Jackson Five at Madison Square Garden. His father, who was also a jazz promoter, introduced him to great jazz musicians like Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Miles Davis, and Sarah Vaughan. Then, in 1974, Roxie Roker won the role of Helen Willis on The Jeffersons, and Lenny moved from New York City to California– ironically so his mom could star on a show set in New York City!

Lenny Kravitz had a tough time adjusting to California. Other kids made fun of his New York accent, and he missed the dense neighborhoods and proximity to his grandparents. His father was also not a fan of California and, though he stayed married to Roxie Roker, declined to make the move to California at first. Fortunately, Lenny was able to take advantage of the many artistic avenues available in California. At his mother’s urging, he even joined the highly esteemed California Boys Choir, where he was exposed to classical repertoires. His mother pulled strings to get him into Beverly Hills High School, which was not in his neighborhood, solely so he could take advantage of the music department there.

Although he was clearly a gifted musician, Lenny Kravitz was not a good student, and he ended up having to drop out of Beverly Hills High School in favor of an alternative school. However, the teachers there still let Lenny jam with his former classmates, which included people like Slash from Guns N’ Roses and actor Nicholas Cage. Kravitz enjoyed a privileged upbringing in a nice house in Los Angeles, mixing with talented people and smoking a lot of weed, developing his craft. He also had a religious experience, even though he was not raised by particularly religious parents. When he was thirteen, he became a Christian.

Lenny and his father didn’t get along very well. They would butt heads over grades and discipline, and the elder Kravitz would say disparaging things to his son, who disappointed him by not being a good student. Things got bad enough that one day, when Lenny was still a teenager, he and his father almost came to physical blows. And although the house they lived in was paid for by Roxie Roker, thanks to salary from The Jeffersons, the senior Kravitz then gave Lenny that age-old ultimatum– “If you walk out that door, don’t bother coming back.” Sure enough, Lenny left, and never lived with his parents again.

Lenny’s mother, being a traditional Bahamian woman, didn’t want to divorce Lenny’s father. She eventually did when it became painfully clear that he was unfaithful to her and was busted by Lenny himself. That was when he really got on track to becoming the rock star he is today. He eventually met Lisa Bonet, fell in love, and together they became parents to Zoë Kravitz, now a musician and actress in her own right. Lenny clearly loved, and perhaps even still loves, Lisa Bonet very much. He writes lovingly about their relationship, and how they had so much in common. Lisa is also biracial, having been born to a White Jewish mother and a Black father. And clearly, her holistic, creative, nurturing proclivities had a big effect on Lenny and helped him launch his career. The book ends as Lenny’s career is taking off and he’s a new father to baby Zoë, whose creation was behind Lisa Bonet’s temporary departure from The Cosby Show and her permanent departure from A Different World. Lenny does spill the tea on how it went down when Lisa Bonet and Debbie Allen (who directed A Different World) told Bill Cosby about her pregnancy.

My thoughts

I really enjoyed Let Love Rule. David Ritz did a great job making this book seem like it came straight from Lenny himself. I felt as if Lenny Kravitz was sitting in a room telling me about his early life and development into a big star. I also loved some of the personal anecdotes shared in this book, especially about Roxie Roker. I always thought she was such a beautiful, classy lady, but she was also clearly a warm, caring, supportive mother, who was not afraid to discipline her son, OR even his friends when they needed it.

I could relate to Lenny’s comments about his difficulties with his father, too. My dad and I also had a difficult relationship. Lenny’s father had been in the military, as mine also was, and would alternate strict discipline with frank neglect or abuse. Of course, my situation wasn’t nearly as extreme as Lenny’s was, but I could still relate to him because there were some similarities. And there were also similarities in that sometimes, Lenny’s dad, like my own, would believe in him and come through for him.

And finally, while I may never be a rock star like Lenny is, I can relate to being a musician and wanting to make music. I understand the thrill of creating something good or even just hearing something really fantastic. I enjoyed feeling like I have something in common with Lenny Kravitz, besides being a fellow Gemini. And I love how he pulls together all of his many musical influences and makes music that thrills on another level. The first time I ever heard “Are You Gonna Go My Way”, it was being performed as a cover by my cousin, Justin, who is a professional musician in Nashville. I loved my cousin’s version so much, I had to go listen to the original, which blew my socks off.

This song still kills me, even decades after it was first released.

I guess the only thing I didn’t like about Let Love Rule is that it ends rather abruptly, just as Lenny is about to take off into the stratosphere. I know this book was only intended to be about his first twenty-five years, and he does mention that his story will continue, but the ending still felt like it came at the wrong time. It was like riding the crest of an orgasm and then never quite getting that burst of anticipated pleasure built up by excitement and tension. And I worry that when the next volume does come out, I may not be riding the crest anymore, if you know what I mean.

Still… I really enjoyed this book and would certainly recommend it, not just to people like Lenny Kravitz’s music, but also anyone who was a fan of his mother’s work, or even those who just like a good story. Like I mentioned at the beginning of this article, I think Lenny would have had a book-worthy story even if he never became famous. And I am very touched by how much he loves his family, as well as his honesty about his devotion to God.

I look forward to the next book about Lenny Kravitz’s remarkable life. I hope it’s as hard for me to put down as this one was.

As an Amazon Associate, I get a small commission from Amazon from sales made through my site.

Standard
psychology

D.A.R.V.O.

Now that Labor Day is over, it’s time to get back down to business. Labor Day is, after all, sort of the symbolic end of summer, even if technically summer ends the third week of September. I love this time of year for a lot of reasons, but I especially love it for the weather. Although it’s typically still really hot where I come from, September means that cooler temperatures are coming. In Germany, that means cool, crisp days, sometimes with sunshine, and sometimes without. And since COVID-19 has made traveling and going out such a pain in the ass, I look forward to weather that makes me want to be a hermit. Home is where I do my best thinking and ruminating.

This morning, I’m thinking about a neat little trick abusive people do whenever people call them out for being the assholes that they are. This toxic technique is super common, although if you’re not expecting it, it can take you by surprise. I’m writing about DARVO, which I have written about before. It’s one of those “chestnut” topics that is always useful. The term was coined in 1997 by Dr. Jennifer Freyd at the University of Oregon. It was traditionally used in situations involving sex offenders, but it works quite nicely in other situations, too. In fact, in my other article about DARVO, I pointed out that Donald Trump regularly engages in DARVO. South Park even made a plot about it. Bill Clinton also engaged in a bit of DARVO back in the 1990s, when he was called out for his sexual dalliances with Monica Lewinsky and Paula Jones. Remember? He famously said, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman!” regarding 21 year old Lewinsky, who was later painted as a whore and became the butt of many horrible jokes for years.

Um… yes, you did, Bill.

So what is DARVO? It’s an acronym that stands for DENY, ATTACK, REVERSE VICTIM and OFFENDER. Say you’re in an abusive relationship. You’ve been on the receiving end of verbal harassment for years and you’re just about at the point of accepting that you “deserve” the harassment somehow. Your abuser is quite certain that he or she has you under control. But then a little spark of self-preservation sneaks in. You listen to your abuser’s latest rantings and think, “Wait a minute! This isn’t really all my fault! The abuser did this, not me.”

So you raise an objection. You can raise it in a quiet, non-confrontational way, or you can be more assertive or even aggressive about it. The abuser suddenly realizes that a light is being shined on their bad behavior. Their lightning fast reflexes at deflection cause them to come back at you.

They can’t risk having you call them out on their bad behavior, and they are neither mature enough nor responsible enough to take ownership of their actions, so they vehemently deny your claims. Then they start attacking you, often with whatever accusations you have made toward them. That’s where the REVERSE VICTIM and OFFENDER part comes in. Suddenly, just as you were starting to take some control of your life, you’re back in the role of defending yourself against the abusive person.

Bill Cosby denies being a rapist.

This scenario has happened to me a lot over the years. Fortunately, I’m not as attractive to abusers as some people are, but I’ve still had to deal with it. I think a lot of us have, on some level. Many people have even engaged in this technique themselves at one time or another, but the decent among us try not to make a habit out of it. It really is a dirty trick– completely unfair and demoralizing– and those who are weak and don’t stand up for themselves soon stop having the courage to speak up when they are being mistreated, for fear that they’ll be the ones blamed.

When I met my husband, he was convinced that the failure of his first marriage was mostly his fault. As I got to know him, he started telling me the stories about what happened. The longer we knew each other, and the more I saw his good nature and extremely responsible character, I realized that he had been lied to and lied about to MANY people, even including people related to him. Unfortunately, his ex wife can be a convincing liar to those who don’t know her. She had people turning their backs on Bill, convinced that he is an abusive monster, even though most of them had never heard his side of the story. For a split second, she even had Bill’s own mother wondering if there was a grain of truth to her lies. Fortunately, Bill’s mom is very smart, compassionate, and kind, like her son is. She was the first to be on Bill’s side, advising him to divorce Ex.

Here’s what I know about Bill. Since we’ve been married– almost 18 years now– he has almost never raised his voice to me. He’s never even come close to raising a hand to me. He comes home every night when he’s not on a business trip. When he is on a business trip, he calls or emails and, in fact, he was faithful to his ex wife until the day their divorce was official. He has not missed paying a bill since we have been married, and when he has been responsible for doing or paying for something, he’s been quick to accept responsibility and do the right– and fair– thing.

Bill is widely known and well-respected in at least three military communities in Germany and one in Italy. When he had to change companies in 2017, he was the first one interviewed and hired for the company he works for now, and he would have been welcome to go work at any of the places he’s known in Europe. When we had to move in 2018 because his contractor job turned into a government position, Bill was specifically recruited by his current boss. He was also asked to become a government employee and stay on where he was working, but it would have meant accepting a lot less money for the work he was doing. He’s a valuable asset to his employer and is regarded as an excellent employee. He’s extremely easy to work with, hardworking, honest, and very well-liked.

However, just like Ex, someone has spread a different narrative about Bill. This person has falsely accused him (or really us) of all sorts of nefarious bullshit. Some of their claims are flat out ridiculous and easily debunked. This came about when Bill objected to being ripped off of a substantial amount of money. Their first approach was shaming us, with a little pinch of trying to make us feel sorry for them. When that didn’t work, there was denial, attacking, and bald faced lies. Somehow, my super responsible, kind, honest, fair-minded husband was being portrayed as an actual thief and vandal because this person felt entitled to rip him off and assumed that he wouldn’t object. Apparently, they forgot that war is literally Bill’s business. It’s how he makes a living.

We don’t actually miss the money, but we can’t, in good conscience, let them get away with stealing from us. Letting them take that money doesn’t just affect us; it affects other people, too. So we reported them and called in the law, which led to the DARVO attack. I’m now patiently waiting for justice, because I know we are in the right. But that doesn’t mean that the DARVO attack hasn’t left me stung and very angry.

I am angry on many levels, and at several people who were involved in this situation. I am angry with myself for tolerating the abuse for as long as we did and for not going with my gut instinct, which told me to avoid these people in the first place. Trust me, I have learned a lesson. And I am angry at things beyond my control that are delaying our ability to move on from this fiasco and reclaim our lives.

I’d like to be able to write about this topic freely, but I can’t. Not yet. But there will come a day when I can.

Standard
politicians, politics

Oh no… Is Bernie Sanders a pervert, too?

Last night, I happened to notice a Snopes article shared by one of my Trump loving relatives. The headline blared– Bernie Sanders’ 1972 Essay on Rape. My relative posted it without comment. He’s one of my less vocal family members, at least on social media. However, I’ve known him my whole life and I know what he thinks of extreme liberalism, so I pretty much understand what his intent was when he (or his wife, since they share an account) posted this link.

I have mentioned more than once that I didn’t always care about politics. In fact, it was probably true in 2015 that I wasn’t really paying attention to the political arena. Back then, it was inconceivable to me that we’d have Donald Trump as our dear leader. But apparently, back in 2015, when Bernie Sanders was running for the Democratic nomination, an old essay of his surfaced on the liberal Web site, Mother Jones. It was written for a long defunct alternative newspaper called Vermont Freeman in February 1972, when I was still in utero. Back then, Bernie was still a young man and it looks like maybe he was trying to make his mark on the world by writing a somewhat bizarre essay on gender roles and sexual fantasies.

The Mother Jones article is a good read, and I recommend that anyone who is legitimately concerned about Bernie’s 48 year old “rape essay” read it and gain some perspective on this. Yes, it’s weird that Bernie opens his article with these paragraphs:

A man goes home and masturbates his typical fantasy. A woman on her knees, a woman tied up, a woman abused.

A woman enjoys intercourse with her man — as she fantasizes being raped by 3 men simultaneously.

The man and woman get dressed up on Sunday — and go to Church, or maybe to their “revolutionary” political meeting.

https://www.vox.com/2015/5/28/8682503/bernie-sanders-rape-fantasy

But– the fact is, some women (and men) do have bizarre sex fantasies. Some women even fantasize about being raped, even if the reality of rape is absolutely horrible and nothing they would ever actually want to happen to them. All you have to do to realize the truth about this is take a look around the darker corners of the Internet, or check out the sales of books like 50 Shades of Grey or 9 1/2 Weeks.

In fact, a revolutionary book about women’s sexual fantasies was published in 1973, just one year after Sanders dared to suggest that some women fantasize about rape. My Secret Garden, by Nancy Friday, was so successful that it spawned several sequels, including Forbidden Flowers, Men in Love (about men’s sexual fantasies), and Women on Top. I have actually read all of those books, having discovered My Secret Garden at a Waldenbooks when I was 17 years old. The books were comprised of sexual fantasies submitted to Nancy Friday by anonymous men and women. Friday compiled the essays, then wrote introductions and explanations between each one. And judging by how crazily well the books sold for many years, a lot of people identified or, at least were very interested.

When I first saw the headline about Bernie Sanders’ “bizarre” sex essay that suggested that a woman fantasized about being raped by three men, the first thing I thought of was My Secret Garden. That book came out at a time when sex was becoming a lot less taboo. It was before the conservative 1980s– before AIDS became a universal terror that reminded people that freely having sex with many partners can lead to devastating consequences. I clearly remember reading several sexual fantasies submitted by women who were fascinated by rape. I’m sure that not a single one of those women would actually want to be raped. It was just a concept in their heads that intrigued them.

I also figure that Bernie Sanders was simply trying to do what most writers try to do. He was trying to get people to read his work about gender roles. His method was to surprise them with something shocking and potentially distasteful, and he succeeded.

It’s true that most people’s first reactions to Bernie Sanders’ essay would likely be horror and disapproval. Most people have closed minds about topics regarding sexual assault and rape, just as they do about taboo topics like pedophilia. There is a difference between a pedophile– who is attracted to children, but may or may not have ever acted on the attraction– and a child sexual molester– who may or may not be attracted to children, but acts on abusing them. It’s not often that I encounter someone who can have a discussion about a topic like pedophilia with an open mind and rationality. Many people think that admitted pedophiles, whether or not they’ve ever acted on their deviant attraction to children, should simply be taken out and shot, rather than given compassion and real help for what must be a horrifying problem.

And yet, strangely enough, a lot of the people who publicly express horror and disgust toward sexual abuse of women and children don’t mind voting for a man who has openly admitted to sexually abusing women and has actually been accused of raping at least two– one of whom was just 13 years old at the time. I guess they choose to overlook inconvenient facts– particularly when it means more money in their paychecks. It’s much easier to be outraged about topics like rape and sexual assault when one’s livelihood isn’t at stake.

I will admit that I don’t know a lot about Bernie Sanders, other than his age– 78– and that he’s well known for radical, idealistic ideas that upset a lot of conservatives. Bernie Sanders just won the New Hampshire primaries ahead of Pete Buttigieg. Scores of people are “feelin’ the Bern”, while a lot of other people think Trump is “making America great again”. I guess some conservative folks are legitimately worried that Bernie could actually win the White House and things will be “worse” for them than they were during the Obama era. I think a lot of white people– particularly those from rural areas who have felt disenfranchised and shamed for being who and what they are– are afraid that a potential President Bernie Sanders will land them at the bottom of the heap. And so, I can understand why my relative saw fit to share this old news about Bernie’s foray into alternative journalism.

I’m not sure I approve of Bernie Sanders’ attempts to be edgy in his writing for a long defunct alternative newspaper in notoriously liberal Vermont. However, I would much rather have a president who has written clumsy, provocative essays about taboo subjects like sexual assault and rape fantasies, than have a president who has actually carried them out. And, as I pointed out above, many Americans have already shown that they don’t even care about the sexual abuse of women, when it either doesn’t personally affect them or someone they love, or it involves someone famous and charismatic.

Look at how long it’s taken for Bill Cosby to finally be punished for what he did to dozens of women over the years. Look how long Jeffrey Epstein got away with raping, abusing, and sexually trafficking young girls before he was finally dealt with by law enforcement. Look at the fact that our current president was actually caught bragging about “grabbing women by the pussy” before he was even elected! People still voted for Trump, even though he was undeniably guilty of making those misogynistic statements in what he called “locker room talk”. I think it’s disingenuous for Republicans to be upset about Bernie Sanders’ 48 year old comments about rape and sexual fantasies for a long defunct alternative newspaper. Moreover, I’m sure that most politicians are dirty to some extent. Being involved in some kind of sex scandal seems to be required for any of them to move beyond the most basic political offices, but maybe I’m just being cynical.

So… count me among those who say “big whoop” about Bernie Sanders’ so-called “shocking” rape essay, published before I was even born. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t think it’s a big deal. As far as I know so far, Mr. Sanders hasn’t actually abused anyone sexually himself, although I did read that some women claimed that they experienced sexual harassment during his 2016 campaign. However, I haven’t read that Mr. Sanders was, himself, the perpetrator of that harassment. Donald Trump, on the other hand, has been accused of some extremely vile sexual conduct which I have, more than once, written about in this blog. I will take Bernie Sanders’ declaration that some women fantasize about rape (which is a verified fact) any day over Donald Trump boasting about his ability to harass women at will because he’s a “star”.

Standard
domestic violence

Domestic violence is not a family value…

Meet Mississippi Republican state Representative Douglas McLeod. The 58 year old man apparently enjoys his alcohol. He also enjoys sex. Police were called to his home last Saturday night because he allegedly punched his wife when she failed to undress quickly enough for him when he called for sex. According to a report filed by the George County Sheriff’s Department, McLeod was intoxicated and holding a glass of booze when the cops responded to a call from his home at about 9:00pm.

The deputies who investigated the incident noted that McLeod punched his wife in the nose, bloodying it. There was blood on the couple’s bed and on the floor. When deputies told McLeod that someone had called them for assistance, his response was “Are you kidding me?”

McLeod said “The cops are here.” Then, he stumbled to the front door and walked outside, where he proceeded to stagger about in a zig zag pattern. The deputies then saw two women, both of whom looked frightened. McLeod was slurring his words and said some things that were unintelligible. Meanwhile, his wife was shaking, upset, and obviously terrified of her husband, the good state legislator.

After speaking with McLeod’s wife, deputies learned that he frequently “snaps” when he’s drunk. After McLeod allegedly bashed his wife’s face, she ran upstairs to the other woman’s bedroom. They closed the door and locked it, while McLeod banged on it and demanded the door to be opened, or he’d “kill her (expletive) dog.”

McLeod’s wife chose not to go the emergency department by ambulance, but said her daughter would take her to the hospital so that there would be an official record of her injuries. McLeod was booked on a misdemeanor count of domestic violence and was released from jail on a $1000 signature bond. Other Mississippi legislators are calling for McLeod, who has been a Representative since 2012, to resign his post.

I read this account just before I read about the failure of a bill in North Carolina that would have made it illegal to continue to have sex with someone who told the other person to stop. North Carolina may be the only state where it’s not illegal to continue to have sex with a person who explicitly says “no”. It has origins from a 40 year old precedent. In North Carolina’s defense, a few bills regarding sexual assault did pass, including one that makes it illegal to have sex with an incapacitated person, even if the person caused that condition within themselves, and another that makes it illegal to tamper with someone’s drink (WTF? That wasn’t already illegal?)

As things continue to get scarier and more bizarre for the women of the United States, I can’t help but wonder why we have so many elected officials who don’t care about the health and safety of half of the population. I used to live in North Carolina, and I know there are many smart people there. Why in the world would the people of that state tolerate such misogyny? Mississippi, I’d kind of expect it from, but not so much from North Carolina.

As for McLeod, it sounds like maybe he has a problem with booze and violence. I don’t know which of the women in his home called the police, but I think it took bravery. It sounds like this abuse has been going on for a very long time and it’s beyond unacceptable that someone who gets drunk and beats his wife has the ability to help make state laws.

I’m beginning to think that most elected officials are simply people who have a thirst for power, but not necessarily the brains or compassion to make them good at the job. I’ve read so many egregiously stupid comments, mostly from white, southern, male Republican lawmakers, on the subjects of women’s health, pregnancy, rape, and domestic violence. More than a few of them seem to think they are above the law or are outright hypocrites.

For instance, in 2017, Pennsylvania Representative Tim Murphy was a Republican who claimed to be “pro-life” and sponsored a bill that would deny Pennsylvania women access to abortions beyond 20 weeks gestation. However, Murphy, who at 65 years old was having an affair with a 32 year old woman named Shannon Edwards, asked Edwards to consider having an abortion when she thought she was pregnant. When Edwards confronted Murphy about his hypocrisy, he claimed that his staff posted all of the pro-life messages and that he’d asked them not to post them anymore. Murphy faced intense pressure to resign, and to his credit, he eventually did.

For being such a “family values” party, the Republicans sure behave in a very unfriendly way toward families. They regularly vote against social safety nets that would make starting and maintaining families easier. They pass laws that would force women to give birth, but they have no love for the children that result from those pregnancies. They cut aid to schools and federal programs that provide healthcare and nutritional support to women and children. And some of them, when dealing with their own families, don’t seem to want to follow the law. Doug McLeod probably thinks of himself as being all for family values, but strong family values do not mesh with getting drunk and beating your wife.

Ah well… some people love to be large and in charge, and some people are masters at looking pro-family even if their behavior is anything but. Look at Bill Cosby. When I was growing up, he had a glowing image of being America’s Dad. He could do no wrong. We all loved his shows, his product endorsements, and even his stinky movies, like Ghost Dad. And yet, he’s now sitting in prison after one of the many, many women who have accused him of drugging and raping them, was finally able to pin a conviction on him. I’m not sure how Mr. Cosby votes. My guess is that he’s a conservative.

If you were around in the 1980s and remember New Coke, which lasted just 3 months on the shelves, you might remember this bullshit… Think Cosby is grimacing because of how good it is? Or is this just another illusion to fool the masses?

Yeah… a master of bullshit right here, not unlike a lot of “family values” politicians…
Standard