dogs, healthcare, history, law, narcissists, politics, Trump

Now I *know* that I’m not a narcissist…

The past few days have been pretty wild, and I’m still kind of trying to process them. But sometimes, things happen to remind me of the simpler things in life. Yesterday, as I was watching Cassidy Hutchinson testify about how completely unhinged Donald Trump is, I got a private message from Meg, the woman who rescued Noyzi when he was a tiny puppy in Kosovo. She was going to be in our vicinity and wanted to know if she could come visit her long lost dog. Bill and I agreed that it would be alright for her to visit, so she came over with her little black dog, Little Guy.

We put Noyzi and Arran in the backyard, and Meg and Little Guy walked through the house to where the boys were. When Noyzi saw Meg, he immediately went crazy with excitement and unbridled joy. I didn’t even get the best part of their reunion on video, but I did get part of it. Noyzi knew exactly who she was and he was absolutely DELIGHTED to see her. It was probably the happiest we’ve ever seen him.

Then, after about an hour of catching up with Meg, Noyzi came over to me. It was as if he was saying how happy he was to see his old friend, and reassuring her that he was doing great. He obviously appreciated so much what she did for him when he was a tiny puppy. And now he has a home that he doesn’t want to leave. That’s a good thing, because Meg lives in a small apartment now, and Noyzi is a big guy.

I think that visit was healing for all of us. Noyzi was ecstatic to see Meg and Little Guy again. Arran was happy to meet Little Guy and get to know Meg. Meg was happy to see Noyzi, and determine for herself that he’s healthy, safe, and much loved. And we were reassured that Noyzi has bonded with us and is happy to be where he is. When Meg’s visit was over, Noyzi said goodbye and went back to his bed. He didn’t stand at the door, pining for Meg. This is an excellent outcome for a dog rescue. I got a dozen pictures of Noyzi looking absolutely delirious with joy, with a big grin on his face. I also got video footage that will always remind us of how happy we made this one canine soul, who by all rights, should have died on the streets of Pristina when he was a baby. And yet, by fate’s twists and turns, he wound up living with Americans in Germany.

I noticed one other thing as I was watching the scene unfold. I legitimately didn’t feel jealous or possessive when I was watching my dog reunite with the woman who saved his life. Maybe this is a strange thing to notice or mention in this post, but if you’ve been following me for any time whatsoever, you know that Bill and I have had a lot of dealings with narcissists. Bill’s ex wife is a very jealous, insecure person. She was so insecure that she couldn’t allow her kids to know their fathers or me. Her kids probably didn’t dare talk about how much they loved or missed Bill, or were curious about me. Talking about loving Bill would have caused a narcissistic injury, and there would have been terrible consequences. If Ex were Noyzi’s “mom”, she would have been jealous of Meg. But I am Noyzi’s “mom”, and I was really moved to see how much he loves Meg. So at least I know I’m not like Ex in that way.

A narcissistic person would not have been happy to see Noyzi so glad to see his rescuer. They would have felt threatened, unloved, betrayed, discarded… maybe they would have seen Noyzi as a traitor. Narcissists can’t share love, attention, or allegiances. They are very selfish. I often worry that I might be narcissistic, even as I know that wondering or worrying about such a thing in myself is a clear sign that I’m not a narcissist. Narcissists don’t think anything is wrong with them. They don’t check their behavior. A scene involving a rescue dog joyfully reuniting with a rescuer would send echoes of terror and betrayal into the depths of their very souls.

I didn’t experience any of those negative feelings yesterday. You can hear me on the video sounding amazed, happy, elated that our dog was so excited and delighted to see his beloved rescuer again. He remembered her, and obviously adored her, and it was a beautiful thing to see! I hope we can see it again soon. And I know it’s strange to bring up Ex in this… since it doesn’t directly involve her. I guess I mention it because Ex, like Trump, is kind of like a stubborn disease that infiltrates everything. She has the ability to inflict deep wounds and scars. She makes people doubtful and unsure of themselves. But dogs and other animals, who have pure hearts and souls, make people see what’s real.

Last night, I had a weird dream about dogs. It was a mostly pleasant dream that involved the old 80s video game, Q*bert. I think Q*bert invaded my dreams because yesterday morning, as I was barely awake and doing my morning routine, I mentioned something about the game… or, I think I did. I don’t really remember. Bill went off on a very energetic tangent about Q binary coding. I didn’t know what the fuck he was on about, and didn’t care, as I was trying to shit. Sorry, I know that’s too much information, but that’s what I was doing as Bill was crowing like a rooster. He really is a morning person and that’s the best time for him to do almost anything. I am kind of a morning person too, but not as much of one as he is, so I’m often left befuddled by Bill’s sheer energy in the morning. He practically glows when the sun is rising. When it sets, he’s barely coherent.

Q*bert… big fun for us Gen Xers.

I somehow mentioned Q*bert, a game Bill didn’t play when he was young, because he was a legal adult circa 1982 and didn’t have the time, money, or inclination to play video games. I haven’t thought of Q*bert in literal decades. Now I want to play it again. I had a dream about it this morning… and my dogs… and a couple of lesbians. I don’t know what that was about. Maybe it’s because I read a hateful tweet from some misogynistic jackass who said his favorite part of the overturning of Roe v. Wade was that it happened during gay pride.

I’ve read a lot of very disturbing comments from men this week… hateful, mean spirited, homophobic and misogynistic comments from men who are gleeful at this new opportunity to oppress, control, and mansplain to women. They diminish and discount our valid concerns about what will happen in the future, as babies are born to women who don’t want them. And I’ve read some equally hateful responses from women, some of whom are really going to fuck up the worlds of some of these men who think they’ve got us by the pubes. It will be a huge letdown when the consequences of this decision come to light… lots of men will be paying a lot of child support and some of them will go to prison for rape. Other men will be left wanting when women don’t want to have sex with them because they don’t want to risk pregnancy. I think men should be afraid. There are some vindictive women out there who will make them sorry they championed taking away their rights.

I’ll bet Donald Trump never thought a beautiful young woman named Cassidy would be the person who instigated his downfall… and I do think her testimony is going to cause Trump to fall. Donald Trump is a narcissist, and his actions and comments on January 6 prove it. Most narcissists have a pretty horrible downfall when they finally fuck up the wrong thing. January 6 was probably Trump’s biggest fuck up in life. It may be the thing that brings him down… and a lot of otherwise decent people will be left on the wrong side of history. I can see that a lot of people don’t want to admit that they were duped, but there will be a day when Trump supporters will be as ashamed as many of Hitler’s supporters eventually were.

Speaking out against Trump so bravely will cost Cassidy Hutchinson, and I hope she is being protected. The world is watching her, and she delivered, but there are going to be people who will want her to pay for being outspoken. She would be right to be fearful right now, although the world owes her a debt of gratitude for her bravery. I hope that witnessing what she did in the White House will help her realize that she should choose her heroes with much care.

I notice that besides being intelligent and well-spoken, Cassidy is also a very attractive woman. If she had been plainer, she probably wouldn’t have been chosen for her role in Trump’s White House. I know that sounds insulting, but if you look at most of the women in Trump’s domain, they are almost all easy on the eyes… and most of them use that to their advantage. Cassidy Hutchinson obviously has good character to go with her brains and beauty. She’ll go far… if she manages to survive this chapter. I don’t blame her for being a Republican. I was one too, when I was her age… and as she is a graduate of Christopher Newport University in Newport News, Virginia, which is close to where I grew up, I can understand why being a Republican would appeal to her. Most people in that area are conservative.

I sure would like to see a government that is more centrist and interested in actually getting things done that benefit everyone and don’t get undone in subsequent administrations. Everything has been such a mess in the past few years, and although Bill and I have fared well, it makes me really worry about the future. But it makes me feel good to know that there are still decent people in the Republican Party, like Cassidy Hutchinson. I would be so happy if we could just get rid of Trump’s version of the Republicans. Maybe it’s a pipe dream. Trump is like an unusually recalcitrant sexually transmitted infection that can’t be cured with the usual drugs.

Anyway… I read a very good opinion piece in the New York Times yesterday that brought up some consequences of allowing states to decide about abortion that I hadn’t considered. I will probably write about it later today or tomorrow, if I am so moved. I would like to get those ideas down right now, but this post isn’t the place to do it. This post is a hodgepodge of weird stuff and random thoughts. So it’s time I closed it and got on with the day… It’s Thursday, so that means I have to vacuum. Blech.

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ethics, law, true crime, Trump

Ghislaine Maxwell gets sentenced to 20 years in federal prison…

Thank God for other items in the news besides Donald Trump’s January 6 shenanigans and the aftermath of the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. As I mentioned yesterday, I’m pretty tired of thinking and writing about abortion. And I’ve been tired of Trump for years now. Nevertheless, if Ghislaine Maxwell hadn’t been delivered a prison sentence yesterday, I could still write reams about abortion and Trump. There’s still a lot to be said and written about both subjects. But I won’t be opining about those two tired topics this Wednesday morning. Today, I’m going to write about what I think of Ghislaine Maxwell’s punishment. So here goes…

Yesterday afternoon– I think it was afternoon in Germany, anyway, Ghislaine Maxwell, former British socialite and ex girlfriend of sex offender extraordinaire, Jeffrey Epstein, finally got sentenced for her role in Epstein’s disgusting crimes against young women. Ms. Maxwell was accused of sex trafficking young women. She befriended beautiful young girls who hoped to become models and lured them to Epstein’s lair, where they would be forced to engage in sex acts with Epstein and his powerful and wealthy friends.

Jeffrey Epstein had been awaiting his own trial when he allegedly committed suicide in jail back in August 2019. Many people questioned whether or not Epstein wasn’t actually murdered, since many high powered people were his friends and stood to lose a lot if he testified in court. How powerful were these people? Well, they included people like Prince Andrew, Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, Kevin Spacey, Itzhak Perlman, astronaut John Glenn, many US senators, and our very own loser ex “president”, Trump.

In 2020, I watched Netflix’s revelatory documentary about what went on in Epstein’s fancy homes in Palm Beach, Florida, London, England, New York City, and his private island in the Caribbean. Ghislaine Maxwell was in the thick of it, and she presented a gentle, friendly face to trusting young women who were looking for a big break. Instead, they were used and abused by Epstein and his depraved, corrupt buddies. When I think about the metaphorical snake pit those women faced, filled with slimy narcissistic scumbags, it makes me cringe with revulsion.

Ghislaine Maxwell orchestrated much of the abuse, funneling girls and young women into the vortex of Epstein’s inner sanctums, victimizing them as she smiled and pretended to be their friends. They would trust a woman before they’d trust the lecherous middle aged men who wanted to use them for their own sexual gratification. Now, those women are living with the aftermath of that abuse, and Maxwell knows that she will be in prison until at least her late 70s. She must also pay a $750,000 fine.

Maxwell was arrested in July 2020, and she’s been sitting in a Brooklyn jail cell the whole time, as her case has slowly ground through the court system. Now, it’s time to get down to business. She didn’t get the five years her lawyers asked for, and she didn’t get the 30 years prosecutors wanted. She might not die in prison, but her life as a socialite is over. As she learned her fate, Maxwell addressed her victims, claiming to empathize with them, and telling them she hoped her prison sentence would bring them “peace and finality”.

I read about this case last night, as many people were still reeling from the Roe v. Wade decision, and learning about Donald Trump’s horrible conduct on January 6, 2021, as Cassidy Hutchinson testified about Trump’s incredibly narcissistic and abusive behavior. Trump was a friend of Epstein’s, and I know of at least one person who described what he did to her at Epstein’s home. A lot of people are quick to deny Hutchinson’s testimony about January 6, and they doggedly defend their man, Trump. I have little hope that Trump will ever face punishment for his crimes against people. But at least they got Ghislaine. I think 20 years in prison and having to pay a huge fine is fair. And in spite of how terrible her crimes are, I hope Ghislaine Maxwell is treated humanely while she does her time in prison.

Someone in the Facebook comments wrote that Ghislaine Maxwell should spend all 20 years in solitary confinement. Against my better judgment, I wrote “That would be inhumane. She needs to be punished, not tortured. America should be above torture (even if it isn’t).

A few people liked my comment, but at least two people gave me grief over it. One seemingly outraged woman asked me if I would feel the same way if it had been one of my daughters who was victimized by Ghislaine Maxwell. To that, I responded “Yes, I would. I don’t condone torture. Twenty years in solitary confinement would be torture.” A man tagged me in his angry comment about how much Maxwell should suffer. I wrote to him that he was entitled to his opinion, but I disagree with it. I don’t ever want to get to a point at which I think torturing other people is okay… even if I completely understand the sentiment behind those thoughts. Solitary confinement, even just for a couple of weeks, is considered inhumane and akin to torture. I am not okay with that.

Once again, I’m left sitting here scratching my head at the logic of some of my countrymen. So many people are happy to excuse Donald Trump for his egregious and well documented crimes against people over his long career as a businessman, politician, and “star”. A lot of them would be absolutely delighted to see him elected president again, even though he boldly admits to having no control over his sexual impulses, abuses his employees, cheats his creditors, and demonstrates an attitude that he is ABOVE the law. But some of those same people want to torture Ghislaine Maxwell. The mind boggles. Maybe it’s because she’s a woman, and women aren’t supposed to be “monsters”.

I remember a couple of years ago, when Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman were in the news for their fraudulent actions of trying to buy their daughters spots at prestigious universities. I read so many comments from “outraged” people who thought they should just ROT in prison for decades. What Loughlin and Huffman did were not crimes of violence. Yes, their crimes were dishonest and unfair. Yes, they abused their great privilege and wealth. They needed to be held accountable, and they were. But plenty of people felt that their sentences were too light, and they should be locked up for years.

I remember when 18 year old Skylar Mack went to the Cayman Islands and flouted the COVID rules there. She got caught by the police, and faced incarceration as punishment. At one point, she was sentenced to four months in jail, and some Americans were complaining when her family members tried to get her sentence reduced, which it eventually was. I wrote about her case several times in this blog. A few people wanted to tell me off for not wanting Skylar to rot in jail. My response is that I don’t see how locking up an 18 year old for two more months in a hellish Caribbean jail, potentially traumatizing her for life, would be justice.

Ghislaine Maxwell, of course, is no Skylar Mack, Lori Loughlin, or Felicity Huffman. Her crimes were much worse than theirs were, and she really did legitimately hurt people. So yes, she needs to be severely punished, and it’s entirely fitting that she spend a couple of decades locked up. But even though Maxwell’s crimes against young women were horrific, we are not much better as a society if our response to Maxwell’s crimes is to punish her using methods that are considered cruel by most civilized members of the global community. The United States is supposed to be a first world nation. Americans, as a people, should be above torturing people.

There’s another, more selfish reason I don’t condone torturing Ghislaine Maxwell. And that’s if, by some circumstance, I ever end up on the wrong side of the law, I would not want to be tortured. I wouldn’t want torture for my friends or loved ones, if they ever got sent to prison. I don’t think abusing people delivers good results for society, especially if there’s a chance that a person in prison will ever be released. I don’t want to see that person so completely shattered that they can’t recover. Not only is it not good for them, or their friends and loved ones, it’s also not good for everyone else in the world, who might be victimized if they go off the rails. Abuse has a terrible effect on people. It makes them angry, jaded, and potentially violent. I don’t think that angry, jaded, violent people, fresh from incarceration, are safe to be around. People should be able to recover from their mistakes. Otherwise, why go on living? And what would they have to lose, committing more crimes against other people?

I don’t think there are many truly evil people in the world. As long as someone still has a shred of humanity within them, we should have some respect for them as human beings. Every one of us would want the same consideration. And, as people who haven’t committed serious crimes, we should be at a level at which we can grant basic mercy, even if someone has done something really terrible. Of course, I write this as I’ve also read many comments from people who think anyone who has had an abortion should be jailed for life. It’s probably hyperbole when people say or write these things. I still wish people would stop and think for a minute when they express this kind of vitriol. At best, it’s unhelpful and unrealistic. At worst, it promotes barbaric ideas that put the United States in the same company as Middle Eastern countries where prisoners are routinely tortured and denied basic rights.

But I do understand the outrage… and I do agree that Maxwell should suffer the consequences of her actions. I think that will happen. Ghislaine Maxwell has spent most of her life pampered and cosseted, cushioned by extreme wealth and privilege. Prison will not be pleasant for her. We don’t need to make it worse for her by locking her in a hole for twenty years. That’s extreme, and it would make her go insane… and then we would be obliged to treat her mental illness, although the reality is, she would probably be neglected. And then there would be people who would actually pity her… which she probably doesn’t deserve at all.

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