Bill, funny stories, love, marriage

A funny thing happened on the way to Tübingen…

It’s Monday again, and Bill and I are hanging out in our deserted hotel. I mentioned in the previous post that there isn’t enough staff to run the hotel, so they closed it until tomorrow (which is a holiday in Germany, anyway). Because we rented an “apartment” (which actually looks more like a former suite with a kitchenette), we were allowed to stay and self-cater. The lobby is closed, but we can come and go through the garage and a side door with a chip activated key.

Yesterday was an amazing day. I described it briefly in my travel blog. We visited a different type of cave– one that is only opened on the first Sunday of the warm months– and we visited another cave site and had lunch. We didn’t go into the other cave, as we’ve seen it before. Instead, we just people watched and enjoyed beautiful weather and scenery. We also met another couple, who were curious as to what we were doing there. Caves don’t usually attract Americans, I guess.

Today, we’ll go into Stuttgart and have some lunch, then see our dentist. I’m sure the dentist will be shocked by the big hole in Bill’s mouth. He lost a tooth in August and had to have it extracted by a different dentist, since our regular one was on vacation. After that, we’ll head back for our last night in this beautiful old college town, then head out on our fall vacation to Czechia. I’m sure there will be lots of conversation, as there was a couple of days ago.

Saturday morning, as we were heading down here, I was talking about how I spent last week, while Bill was in Bavaria. I mentioned that I got really bored one day and ended up watching a really disgusting, but apparently legal, porn video. Bill looked amused as I explained. I said, “Well, it was a really dull afternoon, and I was missing you…”

So I started to describe the video to Bill, who was nodding his head and saying, “Uh huh, uh huh… Yeah, I know.”

And I laughed and said, “Oh, so you’ve seen that one?”

That made him bust out laughing. “No!” he protested, “I haven’t seen it, but I’ve seen enough of those types of videos to know where this description is going.”

I didn’t even watch the whole video because it was just too gross for me. If the truth be told, I don’t like watching those kinds of videos because they’re either boring or disturbing. I don’t enjoy watching graphic sex scenes, especially when they’re kind of violent, as that one was. So I only lasted about two or three minutes before I moved on to something less obscene. I’d much rather read something or even write something stimulating myself, than watch a video that is poorly acted, full of nothing but mechanics or acrobatics, or liable to give me nightmares.

I did think it was funny, though, that Bill and I could have an honest conversation about that video and end up laughing. We really are good friends, as much as we are husband and wife. And we always somehow manage to have a good time together, no matter what. Like, for instance, yesterday’s excursion… which ended up consisting of visiting a much less physically challenging cave, seeing some beautiful natural settings in gorgeous fall weather, meeting new people, and watching a huge flock of sheep being driven to a new pasture. It was kind of magic… and amazing that we could share it together. I’m grateful for the time I have with Bill. He is a wonderful partner– the perfect partner for me.

I’m ready to get back on the road tomorrow. I’ve been looking forward to visiting the Czech Republic again. It’s an amazing country, with a lot to see, neat people, good food and beer, and lots of art to buy. Or, at least there was the last time we visited. I want to buy some new stuff to put on our walls.

I don’t look forward to seeing the dentist today, but once it’s over, we can focus on having a lot of fun. I’ve been missing fun lately. And these kinds of trips are what really keep us over her, anyway. I love doing deep dives into Europe, and visiting places where most Americans never have a chance to go. Best yet, these trips keep me busy, so I don’t end up watching videos that Bill can describe without having seen them.

He did say he couldn’t wait to tell his therapist about that conversation. I’m sure the guy will get a huge kick out of it. He told Bill that I probably represent the most stable relationship he’s ever had in his life. I could probably say the same thing about Bill. He loves and accepts me for who I am. In fact, he actually prefers me to be who I am, even if I do sometimes venture onto questionable Web sites when I get bored. Anyway… at least I’m still interested in sex, right?

Featured photo was taken yesterday near the Nebelhohle (Mist Cave). I miss living near a lush forest. Especially at this time of year.

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Bill, love, marriage, music, musings, travel

It can be so good to be with someone who takes you places you never dreamed you’d be…

I took the featured photo yesterday, when Bill and I were at the bottom of a fairly deep cave. Not everyone could have taken that journey with Bill. I know his first wife would not have been able to… at least not yesterday. It was just one of many things we’ve been able to do together, but may not have been able to do with someone else.

I know it’s corny, but I get a lot of inspiration from music. This afternoon, as Bill prepares for yet another trip to Bavaria on business, I’m reminded of an old John Denver song. If you know anything about Germany, you might know that many Germans LOVE John Denver’s music. There’s a fair bet you’ll hear a stirring rendition of “Take Me Home, Country Roads” at any fest where there’s live music.

John Denver wasn’t actually the only songwriter for that song. It was also written by Bill Danoff and Taffy Nivert, a then married couple who were famously members of the 70s act, Starland Vocal Band. They were the ones who sang “Afternoon Delight”, a total guilty pleasure song about nooners. Danoff was also one of former President Bill Clinton’s classmates at Georgetown University.

I like “Take Me Home, Country Roads” as much as any survivor of the 1970s does, and I’m sure to join in singing it at any German fest. But the song in my head today is another one of John Denver’s traveling songs. It’s one that I first heard sung by Olivia Newton-John; she covered it in 1975 for her Have You Never Been Mellow album (another guilty pleasure song for me). I was a BIG Olivia fan in the 70s… still love her music today, may she rest in peace. Behold:

John Denver wrote “Follow Me”, but I identify a lot with Olivia’s cover. On the other hand, it really is John’s song, and his doesn’t include a banjo. She also changed the last couple of lines of lyrics, which kind of changes the meaning of the song.
John Denver performs his song in 1974. The words to this song make me kind of verklempt.

Check out the lyrics…

It’s by far the hardest thing I’ve ever done,
To be so in love with you and so alone.

Follow me where I go, what I do, who I know
Make it part of you to be a part of me.
Follow me up and down,
All the way and all around,
Take my hand and say you’ll follow me.

It’s long been on my mind,
You know it’s been a long, long time,
I’ve tried to find the way that I can make you understand
The way I feel about you,
And just how much I need you
To be there where I can talk to you
When there’s no one else around.

Follow me where I go, what I do, who I know
Make it part of you to be a part of me.
Follow me up and down,
All the way and all around,
Take my hand and say you’ll follow me.

You see I’d like to share my life with you
And show you things I’ve seen,
Places that I’m going to
Places where I’ve been
To have you there beside me
To never be alone
And all the time that you’re with me,
We will be at home

Follow me where I go, what I do, who I know
Make it part of you to be a part of me.
Follow me up and down,
All the way…
Take my hand and I will follow you.

I just wrote a travel post about the upcoming adventures Bill and I are looking forward to having very soon. The gist of the post was about how I’ve been fretting a little bit about my ability to do some of the things we’ve always done on our trips. I’m not a spring chicken anymore, after all. But we went to the Kubach Cave yesterday, and I managed to make it up and down many, many steps so that we might see the inside of one of Germany’s show caves.

When we got to the bottom of the cave, I looked over at Bill and said, “Here’s yet another thing you’d never be able to do with Ex.” It’s no secret that I dislike my husband’s ex wife for many valid reasons. But, the truth is, she and Bill were completely incompatible. Even if she’d been a perfect sweetheart to him, he would not have been able to go to that cave with her. She currently lacks the physical stamina or ability to make such a trip.

Even when Ex was a lot younger, she was never one to go for physically challenging walking trips. Bill said she had a tendency to “wilt” in hot weather. She was more likely to swim for long periods of time, which Bill enjoys a lot less– mainly because he doesn’t like being seen in a bathing suit. He has, however, started to appreciate the nude experiences. I doubt he would have ever done that with Ex, either. 😉

Checking out her recent social media, I see that Ex just had surgery on her ankle, which I know has given her trouble for a long time. Bill told me it stemmed from an accident she had, trying to garden with bare feet. She stepped in a hole, lost her balance, then fell over and broke her ankle. Apparently, it never properly healed. Or maybe she got hurt again and injured the other ankle.

Anyway, she just got surgery, and the meds made her sick, causing her to have to go back to the hospital. Even if she enjoyed climbing stairs and walking a lot, she literally would not have been able to go to the cave yesterday.

Thinking back on our almost 21 years together, I am amazed at the places Bill and I have managed to go, and places we still plan to see. Given the fact that neither of us ever had a lot of dating partners, it’s astonishing that we ended up together, and we’re able to have so many incredible adventures.

It’s true that a lot of the reason we’ve been able to do these things is because we’ve made certain choices. We don’t have children together. We don’t own a home. We live in Europe, so it’s a lot easier to travel to some of the world’s exotic places. We don’t currently have the tax burden in Europe that we’d have in the United States. I’ve also been making a very concerted effort to pay off debt.

I think the number one reason why we’ve been able to go on these adventures together, though, is because we want to do it. We like each other’s company; we like to do a lot of the same activities; and we make a point of seeing places and doing things together. The end result is that when we pose for pictures, like the one below, we look like we’re having a good time… because we are.

Granted, I took this photo before I climbed 456 steps one way…

I think if I could give my younger self some advice, I’d tell her not to worry about being dateless in her 20s. There’s a good chance there is someone out there waiting… the right person. And in my case, there was. On the other hand, I also know that sometimes there is no “right person”, so you have to make things work alone.

I was in the middle of trying to make things work on my own when Bill came into my life. He had a lot of baggage, and common sense would have told me to run far away from him. But I couldn’t help but be enchanted by his good nature and willingness to laugh at my jokes… some of which are pretty obscene. So I took a chance on him… and he took a chance on me, after having been through an abusive relationship with his ex wife. Now we’re both smiling, and having many wonderful adventures together.

We have been literally living John Denver’s words in “Follow Me”… which I’ll admit, we’re privileged enough to be able to do somewhat easily. I realize that not everyone can literally follow another person. Perhaps another way to take that song is metaphorically. You don’t have to physically follow someone to be on the same wavelength. You can follow them mentally and emotionally, too. For Bill and me, I’ll admit… it’s easy. We both want to do it. For others, I don’t know how easy it is.

I just know that John Denver’s words really speak to me today, as I think about how Bill and I followed each other up and down a steep cave’s steps and had an experience of a lifetime. I do mean that, because we probably won’t be visiting that cave again. But we will visit other caves… and I know that, at least for now, we can still take each other’s hands and follow each other. And I am very grateful that we are still so able to do that.

I also know that for as much as I dislike Ex… if she hadn’t been willing to let go of Bill at the precise time she did, we probably would not be having this life together. So a small part of me will always be grateful to her for that. I’m so glad I can follow Bill… and in turn, he follows me (he’s one of the few and proud, actually). And not just on social media, either. 😀

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