Tag Archives: community development

controversies, first world problems, LDS, Military, modern problems, money, YouTube

People are always going to have a complaint, aren’t they?

Good morning, y’all. I’m feeling pretty decent today, because last night, I made the final payment on our cruise. We got a big tax refund this year, so as soon as the charge hits my credit card, I’m going to be able to pay off the debt. Meanwhile, I think we’re pretty close to making the final plans for our big June vacation. I have a feeling it’s going to be an unforgettable trip, full of beauty, seafood, and new experiences.

I hadn’t wanted to go on a cruise. I was actually wanting to do more of a land trip. But, as Bill and I are both in our fifties, the days of us being willing to lug our stuff around to multiple destinations are pretty much over. The cruise I signed us up for last week was just too perfect, as it hit a lot of places we’d been wanting to visit again, or for the first time. Yes, it’s costing a bundle, but I think it’ll be well worth it. I’ve found that you have to enjoy these chances to travel when you can.

I’m not complaining, by the way. I feel very fortunate that we can go on a trip and pay for it in a reasonable amount of time. I’m grateful that Bill has a good job in a safe country that we both love. I’m especially glad I don’t currently live in a military stairwell apartment… and never have had to live in one. I know that, on the whole, I don’t enjoy apartment living. I also know that a lot of American military families who get moved abroad have to live on military installations. And that pretty much means living in an apartment for three years.

As anyone who has ever lived in an apartment can attest to, communal style living often means pitching in to keep the common areas clean. In Germany, this is a pretty normal thing. People who live in multi-family apartments take turns sweeping and mopping the stairwells, for instance. In the United States, a lot of apartment communities hire janitors to do that work. But, here in Germany– at least in the Stuttgart area– American residents of the military stairwells have been expected to do the job. That will change come May 1, when all residential buildings across the Stuttgart U.S. military garrison will have contracted stairwell cleaning.

You’d think this would be good news, right? I know if I were living in a stairwell apartment, I’d be all for it. In a perfect world, people would be cheerfully volunteering to give up some of their free time to keep common areas clean. However, we don’t live in a perfect world. Because people have varying levels of civic mindedness, keeping the stairwells clean simply doesn’t happen. What does happen is that the stairwells get cleaned by one or two responsible or “clean freak” families, they get cleaned in a half-assed manner, or they don’t get cleaned at all, and quickly become really gross.

Even though it seems clearly necessary to hire help to clean the common areas of the stairwells, some people aren’t very happy about this announcement. Below are a few negative comments and complaints people have made on Facebook about this development:

Respectfully, can we use this funding to make better parking complexes on Patch and Kelly instead? That is where the majority of the problems lie in my opinion.

If the announcement has been made, the money has already been spent. So no, they won’t be using that funding for anything other than cleaning the stairwells. The money wasn’t budgeted for parking. It was budgeted for housekeeping. Posting this comment on Facebook isn’t going to change anything regarding the stairwell cleaning decision. I would suggest finding the proper channel to formally make this request. Maybe in ten years or so, it will be acted upon.

Was it really that hard to get together as a community and keep the stairwells clean that we had to pay someone else to clean up after us?

Apparently, yes, it was. People work hard at their jobs. They have children to take care of. Free time is limited. Some people are messier than others are, and most people have their own standards of what is considered “clean”. Why complain that the garrison is finally taking action, while shaming everyone else in the community for not “coming together”? Have you, personally, done something to inspire other people to do their parts, as you’ve (hopefully) been doing yours? If you haven’t, you probably ought to take a look at yourself before pointing fingers.

I like the below response, as it sums things up nicely.

Have you seen the state of the stairwells/playgrounds/any common area on base? A couple responsible families across the garrison who do their part cleaning their little sections cannot compensate for the vast majority who do not. As frustrating as it is that funds have to be used for this purpose — because folks are not responsible enough to clean up after themselves — I wholeheartedly welcome it.

The bolded part especially highlights why this decision had to be made. Not everyone is willing or able to do their parts to keep the common areas safe, clean, and hygienic, and obviously those who don’t clean aren’t being sanctioned. So yes, funds need to be used for that purpose.

…smh what’s next someone that cleans after ppls dogs? House cleaning services? Lazyness should not be encouraged… But that’s just my opinion… Other things would be way more important. 

I don’t think that forcing everyone to live in filth as a means of “discouraging laziness” is a good solution to this problem. Truly lazy people won’t notice or care, while those who aren’t “lazy” will suffer lower morale. It’s not fair that some people are willing to clean and others aren’t, especially when people who live in the stairwells are mostly being forced to live there. As to the rest of the comment regarding house cleaning or cleaning up after people’s dogs, don’t be ridiculous.

I’ve seen some nasty stairwells that I barely want to walk in 😞

And others that are clean and decorated….. sad they have to pay someone but 🤷🏻‍♀️ at least it’s gonna be clean for everyone.

Why is it “sad” that people will have jobs, and the necessary work will get done so that the stairwells aren’t so gross? I think this is a win/win. And I’ll bet those who are complaining about this aren’t going to keep cleaning out of principle, are they? If they ever did clean in the first place, that is…

Probably costly from a taxpayer’s point of view. However, we lived on Kelley. Keeping the stairwells clean was a constant battle. I think I would have been grateful for the upkeep.

Costly only in terms of money, which was earmarked for this purpose, anyway. In terms of health, morale, and safety, it’s a small price to pay.

How about a parking garage on each base?

Facebook isn’t the place to make this suggestion. The decision has been made and the money has been spent. Next!

Remember when we found human excrement in the basement Nick..that coupled with neighbours from hell! So happy we’re off base now!!!!

Yup! This scenario is EXACTLY why someone professional needs to be doing that job. It’s sad that fellow Americans behave in such a way, but as long as they do, someone should definitely be PAID to deal with that mess. No one should have to clean up another person’s dump, unless it’s parents cleaning up after their child or something…

Those of you reading this might wonder why I even care about this issue. I don’t live in a stairwell apartment, and I’m definitely not a neat freak myself. And, like some have pointed out, keeping the common areas clean is expected in our host country. If American military folks were living in apartments among Germans, it would be a no brainer that they’d be taking turns cleaning, especially in Swabia (Stuttgart). Or, barring that, they’d be paying someone to do the cleaning for them.

I think my interest in this subject comes from following RfM (www.exmormon.org) for so many years, and reading about what happened when church leaders decided to stop paying for janitorial services.

I have never been LDS myself, but Bill was a Mormon for awhile. And, for awhile, the church affected our marriage somewhat, as Bill’s daughters are members. I used to read RfM pretty compulsively, and one topic that frequently came up was how completely nasty and unhygienic church buildings became when the janitors were sacked. Church leaders had said that it was a form of service to the Lord (not to mention cheaper for the leadership) for members to clean the churches themselves. Even though the church is very demanding with lots of activities and “callings”, families were expected to give up their precious Saturdays and come in to clean the meetinghouses. Some people were very willing to do that and faithfully did their parts. Other people weren’t, and neglected to show up and pitch in. The end result frequently turned out to be gross buildings that weren’t very pleasant to visit on Sundays (and other days).

A church video about cleaning the chapels… Are people really this cheerful about using their free time to do work that could be done by someone who needs a job?

Consider that, just like a lot of military families, church families were busy and had lots of little ones to take care of. Consider that aside from working all week at a job, Saturdays were often full of chores that needed to be done in the home, as Sundays were for worship. Asking members to clean the church buildings means asking them to give up their free time to do a job that would be better done by someone who is paid to do it. Someone who is paid to do the cleaning is likely to do a better job; it will get done regularly; and, if they are church members, it means they can tithe. Of course, it also means that someone has a job and can also pay their own bills!

I will never understand why so many people, especially those who claim to be conservatives and bristle against people daring to be on the public dole, would lament about a paid job being created for someone who needs one. We want and expect people to work, don’t we? So why not pay them to do a job no one else wants to do? That way, they can chip in on taxes, right? It just seems like so many people harp on how everyone should work for a living, but then when a job is created, they complain about spending the money and lament about personal responsibility.

This issue doesn’t affect me personally, of course. It’s just puzzling to me that people would be up in arms about better janitorial services and grounds management. Who wants to spend their free time unpaid, cleaning up other people’s messes? Yes, we absolutely should all clean up after ourselves when we make messes. That’s the decent thing to do. But everybody has a different standard for what is considered “clean”, and some people either don’t have time to clean properly or just don’t care. And some people will feel compelled to clean, as they also resent the hell out of those who can’t be bothered to do routine cleaning. It’s better that people are paid to do that job.

Anyway… reading that thread reminds me of why I’m glad we live in Wiesbaden, and I never bothered to join a lot of Facebook groups up here. That’s another reason to be grateful.

I hope that people in Stuttgart will be grateful for their soon to be cleaner stairwell apartments… and if they were the ones actually doing their parts to keep the common areas clean, they’ll enjoy a little extra free time to spend with their families.

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law, modern problems, politics, true crime

Do I even want to go “home” again?

The featured photo was taken on May 18, 2014, when Bill and I took a last Space A Hop to Germany, ahead of his military retirement. At the time, we didn’t know we’d be coming back to live in Germany just weeks later. We’re still here… and we no longer really want to go back “home” again. It definitely gives me some empathy and a unique perspective toward people who flee other countries for the United States…

Today is the one year anniversary of the death of an old Peace Corps friend of mine. I wrote about Matt last year, a few days after I found out about how he was senselessly killed by a reckless driver in Brooklyn, New York. Matt Jensen was a very special person. He had dedicated his life to teaching English as a foreign language, and students of all ages benefited from his natural acumen in the classroom. Matt was born to teach, and he had loads of charisma and a wonderful sense of humor. Although we hadn’t spoken or seen each other in many years, I was genuinely heartbroken when I heard about his sudden death last year. It just seemed so incredibly unfair.

For months, I watched the news to see if anyone would ever be arrested in connection with Matt’s death. Finally, in February, just as I was about to give up on justice, I was inspired to do one last search of the news. Sure enough, that very day, I found out that the police had taken a suspect into custody. I wrote another post about how I felt about that. I didn’t expect a lot of people to get it, since it was one of my more “creative” efforts… but to me, the post I wrote about Matt’s killer’s arrest set to the Police’s 1983 album, Synchronicity, made a lot of sense. When I knew him, Matt bore a resemblance to Sting.

I’m still watching for updates on the case involving Tariq Witherspoon, the 30 year old New York Emergency Medical Technician who is being held responsible for mowing down Matt with a borrowed black Rolls Royce last year. Every time I think about how Matt died, it seems more absurd to me. This was a man who served in the Peace Corps twice. He had devoted his life to helping people, especially those who wanted to learn English and improve their lives. To think that he was taken out by an over-the-top status symbol driven by a man who supposedly devoted his life’s work to saving other people’s lives! It’s completely ridiculous.

Every day, there are more news articles about how absolutely insane the United States has become in recent years. From the relentless attack on women’s rights, to the senseless gun violence at schools, churches, and supermarkets, to the abhorrent racism on every common street corner, I’ve become a lot less impressed with my homeland. Last night, I was reading a sickening story about a nine year old White boy who brought a whip to his Black neighbor’s house. He was captured with a Ring camera, whip in hand, visibly seething with rage as he banged on the neighbors’ door, demanding that their daughter come out. Why? Because they’d had an altercation at school, and he wanted to “finish” it with a fucking whip! Below is a video of the incident, along with follow up footage of the Black girl’s parents confronting the whip wielder’s father. Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised that the boy’s father came to the door with a gun in his hand. I can see where this kid’s rage comes from; his father is clearly a toxic and dangerous person.

What the HELL is wrong with people?

What is especially sad to me is that this is a nine year old child. He probably has no idea about slavery in America, and how enslaved Black people were whipped, beaten, raped, and murdered so that rich White people could get richer. I hate to think that this child, at just nine years old, has this much hatred for others. I see how angry and violent he already is at age nine. What will he be like at 19? I hope he gets some competent help from a therapist before he winds up arrested on felony charges, as his dad was after he fired a weapon at the Black couple who confronted him about the whip and the damage the boy allegedly did to their car.

Amid stories like the one above, there are so many angry people in the United States. I read another story this morning about how Spain is considering allowing women paid time off when they suffer severe period symptoms. I think the idea is very progressive and humane. While my own periods have mainly just been annoying and inconvenient, I know women who literally get sick every month when they have their periods. I have known women whose cramps were so bad that it hurt to walk, and they spent days vomiting.

What a contrast this policy is, especially in a country as Catholic as Spain is, to the anti-women legislation being considered in the United States right now. I grew up believing that the United States was the epitome of a “free country”. But if the Republicans have their way, abortion will be outlawed, and women could find themselves at risk of being arrested when they have miscarriages. That seems extreme, but consider that Lizelle Herrera, a woman in Texas who miscarried, was actually arrested recently and accused of “murdering” her unborn child. Thankfully, good sense eventually prevailed, and she was released after what was surely a very stressful and horrifying ordeal at the Starr County Jail. I hope the American Civil Liberties Union helps her sue the fuck out of the people who reported her to the authorities and arrested her. What is especially scary about Herrera’s case is that she had gone to a hospital for help, and wound up being accused of “death of an individual by self-induced abortion”. If we don’t do something about the right wing anti-abortion zealots, this is a fate that could affect a lot of women. And it may lead to miscarrying people not getting medical help when they really need it, for fear of being arrested and charged with murder.

Mama Doctor Jones spells it out for all of us. Outlawing abortion in the United States will result in a lot of morbidity and mortality.

Naturally, the comment section for the article about Spain’s proposed legislation included many awful comments from American males, who have NO idea what it’s like to have periods, be pregnant, or deal with the aftermath of childbearing. Having lived in Europe for almost eight years, I’ve admired the family and community focused laws here. No, it’s not perfect, and people here pay a lot of taxes, which I know would not be popular in the United States. But Europeans recognize that children need their parents. Women who have babies in Germany get a very generous paid maternity leave before and after their pregnancies, as well as other benefits. Fathers are also granted time off to bond with their babies.

In the United States, we have people screaming about fetal rights, yet denying citizens the means to give babies and children a healthy start in life. When someone points out this discrepancy, they are sure to receive a snarky, unempathetic reply, usually from a Republican male, who obviously cares more about money than fellow human beings. This is what one typically tone deaf man– a man who claims he’s a doctor, no less— had to say about Spain’s proposed legislation:

Great. How do you prove that you have severe period symptoms compared to moderate ? How can you control for abuse of taking time off and differentiate between authentic cases and fictitious ones?

This was what a woman said in response to the “doctor”, who doesn’t have much regard for women:

Wait, you claim to be a physician? It seems horrible that this would be your level of compassion for a patient. There have been days out of every month for the past 40 YEARS when the pain was so severe I was vomiting and in tears. I spent the time with a heating pad or in a hot bath, trying my best to even prepare a meal for my family or perform the most basic tasks. This began when I was 12 years old. I was never diagnosed with any specific problem, and often told (mostly by male doctors) that it was just like that for some women and to “push through.” How does one prove such a thing?

Lots of people took on this supposed “doctor of misogyny”, as he continually mansplained why this law could be problematic. According to him, there are a lot of women in Spain who are just waiting to game the system and take off work when their period pain doesn’t warrant it (in his opinion, anyway).

I also saw a comment from a man who probably votes for pro-life candidates, but harangued a woman who pointed out how misogynistic the United States is. He told her to “get a new job” and exercise “personal responsibility”. When she came back and told him she was a member of a union and got decent benefits (for the United States, that is), the guy told her to “stop crying”. In his mind, she already had hers and needed to STFU. He couldn’t see why she’d want to advocate for others, who aren’t as fortunate. Does this man have women in his life? Does he care about them? Based on his comments, I’d guess not.

The pervasive self-centeredness and selfishness in the United States is just awful. It really doesn’t make me want to go home, even though I know I’m going to have to at some point. We have some unfinished business that needs to be handled. But do I want to move back there permanently? I have to be honest. I don’t think I want to. The United States has changed noticeably since the Trump years. I think Trump’s presidency has awakened and emboldened some of the worst people in our society. It will be years before the United States is back on track. It hurts to see how awful it is from afar.

Our village’s leaders care about bees… as well as people.

Meanwhile, here in my little Hessian village, people are community minded and focused on doing things for the environment. Our local Facebook group shared a new “bee feeding vending machine” that is available now. Someone repurposed an old gumball machine so that it sells “bee bombs”– bee friendly flower seeds that can be planted in gardens to provide bees with fuel. Here in Germany, it’s illegal to kill bees. The government has wisely realized that without bees, we’d have no food. Similar legislation and efforts to save bees in the United States would probably garner nothing but derision from the clueless.

Well, I know it’s inevitable that we’ll go home at some point. Does it mean we’ll stay there for good? More and more, I’m thinking that maybe we won’t. My Italian friend, Vittorio, was right when he told me some years ago that America has a “weird-o-rama” culture. He was spot on. I didn’t see it when I was in the thick of it, but after years in Europe, it’s as plain as day. And it’s truly heartbreaking.

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