law, mental health, narcissists

Yes, it does…

Yesterday, was a pretty horrible day. It started on a bad note because Friday night, Bill finally got a response from our lawyer about our pending legal action against our former landlady. In her response was a response from ex landlady’s lawyer, which basically paints Bill and me as horrible, filthy, negligent people. Some of her claims are outright ridiculous and, if they weren’t pertaining to Bill and me, I might even laugh about them.

Among her latest insane claims is that we “stole” her refrigerator. The only refrigerator in the house when we moved in was a piece of shit dorm sized German fridge that barely functioned. She claims we absconded with a much better one (that I’ve never seen) and left an inferior American fridge in its place. It’s complete lunacy. I bought a larger German fridge for us and it’s in our house, but I can prove that I bought it. And we left the shitty German fridge there, because we were under the impression that it belonged to her. Now she’s claiming we left an American fridge. It makes no sense. By the way, she made no mention of this mysterious fridge theft when she and Bill did their exit inspection.

I’m not surprised ex landlady is doing this. She has always clearly been much more interested in money than anything else. She doesn’t care that HER negligence could have hurt or killed me, when she didn’t hire a real repairperson to fix her awning. The upshot is, because we have decided not to allow her to STEAL over 2500 euros from us, she’s threatening to countersue for another 5,000, in addition to the rest of our deposit. This, of course, means we will be going to court.

I realize that this is entirely about money to her. She doesn’t give a damn about us and never did. And I don’t expect her to, really. In fact, I’d say the feeling is more than mutual. We will vigorously defend ourselves against her accusations. Initially, we weren’t going to try to go for a lot of money. We just wanted our deposit back and legal fees. But now, we’re going to ask the lawyer to go for the jugular.

So… then, Bill took Zane to the vet, because he’s been off his food somewhat and has swollen lymph nodes. My first thought was that he had lymphoma, but I managed to talk myself out of that hypothesis. Well, the vet who saw Zane yesterday says that she thinks he does have lymphoma. That means we have some hard decisions to make and, very soon, we will lose a dear family member. Meanwhile, we will be enduring repeated abuse from the ex landlady and her husband, who claim we are horrible, filthy people who “destroyed” their house. While I have never claimed to be a super neat person, no one– aside from my abusive father– has ever implied that I’m “filthy”. Certainly not a landlord or landlady.

I was feeling overwhelmed yesterday, so I posted on social media that my life sucks. I soon got a rash of insensitive comments from so-called friends. Granted, they didn’t know exactly what was troubling me… nor did they ask. Instead, I got several comments that were pretty trite and dismissive. I got upset and addressed everyone, asking those who had nothing kind or helpful to say to leave me alone. The responses were more appropriate then, but then I realized that not a single comment came from my family members. I might as well be dead to them.

Actually, I know my life doesn’t suck. I know many people have it much worse than I do. I also know that this situation will get better with time. I will lose Zane, but that was never a question. All living things die at some time. Zane’s time is approaching. And I even know this mess with the ex landlady isn’t the end of the world. We have a lawyer. We have lots of insurance. And if ex landlady had a good case, I don’t think her lawyer would have written such ridiculous claims in such a blustering tone. There would be no need.

It’s still very upsetting, though. I am thousands of miles away from home. We made the choice to be here, but only because this is where Bill found work. I had previously loved Germany, but we were only here for two years. I hadn’t had the chance to experience how utterly nasty and vindictive some people can be. Yes, this could have happened in the United States, but at least we are citizens. It’s plain to me that the ex landlady never saw us as anything more than a money source.

All I ever wanted was to be left alone. Instead, I endured the brunt of ex landlady’s abuses. I tolerated her constant unannounced visits, verbal tirades, and ridiculous demands and accusations. I had no real power to escape her, other than leaving my husband and going off to do my own thing. I’m not sure where that would have led… and it wasn’t something I really wanted to do, anyway, because I love Bill.

But anyway… for right now, yes my life sucks. It may not suck as much as it could. It may not suck as much as other people’s lives suck. But it still sucks. People think I have no right to say anything. Maybe they’re right. I could be in a much worse situation than I’m in right now. Maybe I’m just a weak person who is as derelict and filthy as our former landlady accuses me of being. I don’t know why I keep trying.