communication, condescending twatbags, Duggars, narcissists, religion

Easy for you to say, armchair quarterback…

Thursday already! This week is flying by, which is a good thing. Tomorrow is the big day. I don’t usually start packing before the morning of departure or maybe the night before, if we’re leaving early. For this big trip, I started filling my new suitcase on Tuesday. I am very ready to get out of here, even if there’s a part of me that kind of dreads the logistics. But I think I have most everything planned appropriately.

We’ll take Noyzi to the Hundehotel tomorrow morning, then head for the airport in advance of our early afternoon flight. It’ll be my first airplane ride since November 2019! By tomorrow afternoon, we’ll be in Oslo, the first stop of our multi-city Scandinavia/Baltics tour. 😉 I know it will be over before we know it, so I hope to savor everything… but I also know myself, and I’m sure there will be first world problems to complain about. I’ll try to confine them to my blogs.

And since we aren’t on vacation yet, allow me to offer some observations I’ve made since yesterday. Wednesday’s post was about the “right to complain” and how complaining doesn’t necessarily make a person a “karen”. And how I’m not a “karen” because I think the term “karen” is stupid and needs to go out of style. 😉

I’ll admit, I was a bit all over the map yesterday, because I was overwhelmed with examples for my post. That’s a problem, but it’s less of a problem than not having any examples to write about. Then, maybe you might have some trouble explaining exactly what you mean.

Today’s post, thankfully, does offer a good example of what I mean by its title. That is, it’s easy for people to pass judgment and get on a moral high horse about some things, when they aren’t actually in a given situation, and won’t suffer any hardships for advising someone to do what they think is the “right” thing to do. Once again, I’m going to bring up the Duggar family.

In the Duggar Family News Facebook group, the group leader, Pickles, shared some commentary from someone who used to work on 19 Kids and Counting. The person whose comments were referenced wasn’t identified, but it was someone who spent a lot of time around the Duggar family.

One person in the group wrote that crew members who filmed everything were complicit in the abuse, since they stood by and allowed all of this stuff to happen, but said nothing about it. She wrote:

The crew witnessed girls being forced into arranged marriages, forbidden to use birth control and then pregnancies with no prenatal care and agonizing childbirth. They suffered for days without proper medical care. The crew saw children that were not allowed to go anywhere without chaperones. They saw substandard teaching and educational materials because they were not allowed to go to school. The network constantly allowed them to praise their ATI and IBLP training sessions. The crew saw that their patriarch had total creative control. The crew saw girls made to wear long skirts with long uncut stringy hair that were constantly being slut-shamed. They saw girls that were forced to cook, clean and raise their siblings while the boys played. They saw the constant abuse of women and girls due to their Christian beliefs. The crew was silent and complicit.

As I read the above passage, I couldn’t help but think that it would be very difficult for the crew to do anything about what they saw. As Pickles pointed out:

Yes, but is any of that reportable to child protective services? In this country kids only need to be fed and have their basic needs met. It is sad sometimes that we can’t do more.

And Pickles is right. In many places in the United States, all that is necessary is that children have their basic needs met. We may not agree with how other people raise their children, but that doesn’t mean that the government has the right to intervene. And, honestly, as much as I don’t like seeing children raised in cults, I also think that there’s a slippery slope. A lot of well meaning people think they’re doing good, when they don’t have the whole story… or they think their way is automatically always the *best* way.

People often think they are above reproach, as they point the finger at other people. They never seem to realize that the standards they want to impose on other people could just as easily be imposed on them. Who’s to say that while you point your fingers at people you think are doing wrong, that certain other people won’t be pointing at you and saying the same thing? Would you want them to be able to dictate what’s right, and what’s not?

The original poster’s response to Pickles was this:

My belief is that the standard should not have rested with CPS regulations but rather with doing the right thing for women and girls. The crew should never have participated in promoting this patriarchy.

Who’s to say what is the “right thing” for women and girls? Those of us who were born and raised in western cultures often think our way is the best way. I think Americans, in particular, are guilty of trying to impose our mores on other cultures, thinking the standard way we do things is the way everyone should do them. But, if you look at other countries around the world, you realize that when it comes to oppressing females, the Duggars’ ways are actually pretty lenient! I mean, I haven’t heard of any of the Duggar girls being held down and having their clitorises cut off by their aunties, right?

And secondly, has this poster considered that by “not participating in promoting the patriarchy”, the Duggar insider would have aided in keeping all of this stuff hidden? It probably would have been much easier for Josh Duggar to keep abusing people if he hadn’t come from such a famous family. Moreover, television work was this person’s livelihood, and TV jobs are, presumably, not that plentiful. It’s easy for some random person on Facebook to condemn the Duggar Family TV show insider for not “stepping up” and “refusing to promote the patriarchy” when it’s not the rando’s paycheck at stake.

Besides… everyone who watched the Duggars on TV saw this stuff going on every time an episode aired. No, we didn’t see the unedited parts that the TV crew saw, but we saw enough of it to speak out about it, if we were so inclined. Most of us didn’t bother.

I remember back in 2008, when the FLDS sect at the Yearning for Zion Ranch in Eldorado, Texas got raided. So many relatively “normal” people were glad to see it being raided, because they were absolutely sure the children in that sect were miserable and being abused. And, if I’m honest, I think a lot of the kids in that sect probably were experiencing what a lot of us would consider abuse. BUT… that lifestyle is what they knew, and their abusers were their family. When the children were eventually reunited with their mothers, there was no mistaking the joy on the children’s faces.

When you’re a child, you won’t necessarily see CPS workers as heroic when they yank you out of the only home you’ve ever known. Moreover, sometimes kids who are removed from abusive homes end up in foster homes that are as bad or even worse from where they came. Read up on the Turpin siblings’ hellish experiences with foster care for some verification on that. I’m not saying that calling CPS is never necessary or lifesaving for abused children, but foster care and government intervention are certainly not panaceas against preventing or stopping child abuse. Like it or not, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are the parents to that huge brood. We may see them as awful parents, but they’re still the only parents their children have.

This doesn’t mean that I support the Duggars’ way of doing things. I am absolutely sure there’s a legitimate hotbed of abuse in that family. I doubt that Josh is the only one who did pervy things, either. However, I do think it’s a lot to expect random people to intervene/be heroic, especially when they don’t have the whole story, haven’t been asked to intervene, and are relying on a paycheck. Because while it’s very noble to think that we all have our principles, when it really comes down to it, people have basic needs that have to be fulfilled. It’s hard to be tough when you realize that speaking up or speaking out could lead to unemployment.

My husband went to war with a man who was later outed and very publicly fired from the Army for abusing troops in Iraq. Bill was similarly abused by this man when they went to Iraq a couple of years prior. Bill didn’t say much to Army officials about what happened in that war zone because he wanted to stay employed and promotable, and he did not want to be labeled a complainer. If he had spoken about the abuse, maybe he could have prevented his former boss from abusing other troops. But, there’s also a good chance that he would have been punished for being vocal about the abuse, and his boss would have still gotten ahead. It’s easy for those who aren’t directly faced with a dilemma to say what they think should be done. It’s much harder to take those actions when it’s your ass on the line and you have other people depending on you.

I am a big believer in speaking out and taking action when it’s possible to safely do so. However, I am also a realist, and I am wise enough to know that speaking up and taking action isn’t always something that is easily done without severe reprisals. And, unfortunately, when you’re dealing with powerful narcissistic types like Jim Bob Duggar, Donald Trump, Bill’s “war buddy”, or even his ex wife (when the kids were minors), you find that doing the “right thing” is very often easier said than done.

So no, I don’t blame the Duggar TV show insider for not “refusing to promote the patriarchy” and “refusing to take action” on behalf of the Duggar daughters. That would have been a tall order that probably wouldn’t have ended with good results. But I am glad to see people like Jill, Jinger, and Amy Duggar standing up now, and speaking out against the abuses perpetrated in the name of “Christianity” and Bill Gothard’s IBLP cult.

I think being married to a man who attracts narcissists has made me more aware of what is at stake when a person confronts one. The bigger and more powerful they are, and the more money and prestige they have, the harder it is to confront them. And while it’s easy to armchair quarterback– I do it myself sometimes– the reality is, when it comes down to it, we all have to watch our own backs first. You can’t help someone else if you’re not wearing your own oxygen mask, so to speak. 😉

Hopefully, we won’t be needing any oxygen masks when we fly to Norway tomorrow. 😀

As I posted earlier… my blog may be less attended while we’re away, but I will bring my laptop and see what I can do. I hope you’ll wish us luck!

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controversies, healthcare, law, Police

Repost: Hey, all you druggie pregnant folks! We’re warning you!

Since I don’t really feel like typing any significant fresh content today, I’m going to repost this blog entry from the original Blogspot OH. This post appeared April 19, 2015. It’s been retitled and edited somewhat, because there was dated and irrelevant content in the original post.

Last night, I shared this photo, which randomly popped up on my Facebook feed.  A woman I knew in school had posted it with the comment “You’ve been warned.  No excuses.” I knew the photo would generate discussion, and it did. Most of my friends were horrified by the photo, although “Papa Smurf” was a notable and predictable outlier. [Papa Smurf is a former friend now… he was a mansplaining pain in my ass one too many times, and I finally advised him to fuck off. I call him Papa Smurf because he was very sanctimonious and enjoyed trying to act like everybody’s daddy.]

I understand the idea behind this sign and I comprehend why a lot of people are behind its sentiment.  However, while I get why people agree with it, I think it’s counterproductive to threaten patients before they’ve even been seen.  All a sign like this does is tell the pregnant mom who might be using drugs that the doctor would prefer them to go somewhere else for their prenatal care.  Indeed, that could be why the sign was posted.  OB-GYNs typically pay a lot in malpractice insurance, and a pregnant person with drug issues could potentially have a riskier pregnancy.  Of course, a drug abusing mom who is really bad off probably wouldn’t bother with prenatal care anyway. 

Those who use drugs recreationally might see a doctor, but if the doctor flat out tells them they will call the law on them, they will very likely avoid medical care.  That may be fine and dandy for the doctor who doesn’t have to deal with them, but what about the unborn child?  The sign seems to be advocating for the welfare of the unborn baby, but if the doctor scares off the mother, what good does that do?  And doesn’t that sort of conflict with what doctors are supposed to be doing, which is providing healthcare to people who need it?

I happen to be pro-choice, but I couldn’t help but notice.  As long as abortion is legal in the United States [remember, this was written in 2015], it seems kind of ridiculous to take this sort of attitude, anyway.  I mean, the mother to be can terminate her pregnancy if she chooses.  Using illegal drugs is against the law, anyway.  Why turn it into a crime against the unborn?  Why does the fact that the mom to be is pregnant even come into it?  She’s breaking the law, so deal with her. 

At this point, we don’t force people to see their doctors.  People have a hard enough time accessing appropriate medical care for reasons other than being threatened and alienated.  This attitude of needing to police private citizens is creepy to me [I really had no idea what was coming, eight years ago, did I?], and in the long run, I don’t think it makes things better for anybody.  Of course a pregnant woman shouldn’t be using drugs, and something should be done if she comes up positive on a drug screen.  I think the attitude toward her should be more supportive and helpful, not threatening.    

Besides…  a woman whose newborn baby comes up positive on a drug screen at the hospital is going to be referred to CPS anyway.  All that sign does is encourage the mother to avoid seeing doctors and give birth outside of a medical setting.

Here’s another thought.  For most medical procedures, physicians must get informed consent before they go ahead with it.  I suppose a sign like this informs patients that the doctor(s) at this practice will do random drug screens, and gives them the option of going elsewhere for their prenatal care.  But what about health care professionals that do screenings without the patient’s knowledge or consent?  Isn’t that a violation of their rights?

I know there have been cases in which mothers have been arrested for having positive drug screens and have gone to court.  In South Carolina, there was a big case involving pregnant women, Ferguson v. City of Charleston, who were tested for drugs without their knowledge or consent.  It went all the way to the Supreme Court, which ruled that the search in question was unreasonable, especially since the searches had the potential to land someone in jail.

In any case, while I certainly wouldn’t condone a pregnant woman using drugs, and I agree something should be done to help or dissuade drug abuse in pregnant women, I don’t think taking an adversarial, threatening attitude is in the best interest of patients.  The goal shouldn’t be to sell mom down the river; it should be to get her appropriate help so she can successfully raise her child.  I think it would be hard to do that by threatening patients with getting the police and child protective services involved before they’ve even been seen.  

Edited to add in 2023: I don’t know if the photo is real or fake. I just thought the discussion it generated was interesting. You can see the original post here.

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true crime, wingnuts

Repost: Couple shocked when they are arrested after their baby dies of starvation…

Most of this post originally appeared on my Blogspot version of The Overeducated Housewife on August 9, 2018. I am reposting it today, because I just don’t feel like writing anything fresh right now. I’m a little depressed today. This case has been updated, so I will offer what details I uncover about it, as of the present.

Shocked!  Shocked!  I tell you!

Meet Seth Welch and his wife, Tatiana Fusari of Solon Township, Kent County, Michigan.  Together, they are the 27 year old parents of three children, with a fourth evidently on the way.  Seth and Tatiana are currently sitting in jail.  Why?  Because one week ago, their ten month old daughter, Mary Welch, died of malnutrition and dehydration.  On August 2nd, Mary’s parents found her dead in her bed.

Mary was their third child and she had been failing to thrive.  Seth and Tatiana had noticed her “skinny” appearance and low weight for at least a month prior to Mary’s death.  Instead of taking her to a doctor, Seth and Tatiana decided to avoid seeking competent medical help for Mary.  They claim they did so for “religious reasons”, although Tatiana Fusari also said that they feared that child protective services would take their kids.  Their worst fears have come to pass.  The couple’s two older children are now in the care of their maternal grandparents, and Seth and Tatiana are now charged with felony murder and first degree child abuse.

I first read about this couple on a site called LADbible.  I don’t generally like to use sites with obvious agendas as my primary sources, although it seems that author Mike Wood did a fair enough job reporting about this case.  The Washington Post has also printed an article about this couple who feared CPS more than losing their daughter to malnutrition and dehydration. 

Someone in the Duggar Family News: Life is not all pickles and hairspray group wrote that this couple is from their hometown.  Seth Welch is a farmer who also posted a number of video sermons against vaccines, “bad medicine”, and doctors whom he described as “priesthoods of the medical cult”.  He also has an 8 year old child from an earlier relationship and, according to his public Facebook page, his wife may be pregnant again.  ETA: As of 2023, that page is not working anymore.

Most damningly, Welch explains why he didn’t vaccinate his kids:

“It didn’t seem smart to me that you would be saving people who weren’t the fittest. If evolution believes in survival of the fittest, well then why are we vaccinating everybody? Shouldn’t we just let the weak die off and let the strong survive?”

It’s hard for me to read that comment and reconcile that with the look of utter shock on Welch’s face as the charges against him and his wife are read.  On his Facebook page, he writes of Mary’s death:

Heart is about shattered right now. 

Woke up to Mary dead in her bed this morning – this evening had our children removed and placed on “no contact” because Tati and I are the worst parents ever – Thankfully they are with grandma and grandpa

Just numb inside right now. And I’m really enjoying the loving embrace of an isolation cell from the cops and government employees who keep assuring me “they are only here to help”.

Really?  I would say that if your helpless infant daughter is clearly not thriving and you do absolutely nothing to help her, you would rank as among the “worst parents ever”.  According to his Facebook page, Seth prefers eating a “natural diet”.  Well, Seth, good luck with that while you’re in the jug.  I suspect you will be carb loading from now on…  

People are understandably horrified about Mary Welch’s untimely death.  Lots of folks have posted hateful and profane diatribes on Seth Welch’s Facebook page.  I’m not going to follow suit because I don’t think calling him and his wife “pieces of shit” is very constructive, even if I understand the sentiment.  I have noticed that a lot of men have gone off the rails, though, and become hyper-religious.  One of my friends is originally from Sweden but now lives in Texas.  He’s very intelligent and extremely well-educated.  His comment was:

Steven Weinberg the Nobel Prize winning physicist from Texas said “Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.”

I wonder though if religious fanatics/fundamentalist like these people, really are good from the beginning?

Personally, I think a lot of the extreme religious wackos tend to be very narcissistic men who have a lot of charisma and use religion as a means of satisfying their needs for adoration and attention.  They prey on empathetic people and use them, often hoodwinking them into their diabolical schemes.  Religion probably makes these deeds more palatable.  I shouldn’t say it’s always men who do this.  For example, my husband’s narcissistic ex-wife similarly used religion to satisfy her narcissism.  However, she chose a patriarchal religion to do it.  Most western religions are pretty patriarchal.  

I don’t know what Seth Welch’s beliefs are, other than what I read in the couple of articles I’ve seen about his case.  He does have a Facebook page for his “ministry” (ETA: as of 2023, it is still up and functional. People have left awful comments on it.), but it doesn’t appear to be very popular.  There must be a reason why he turned out the way he did.  Maybe there will be more information as the case proceeds.  I’m already seeing some indication that perhaps the other two children aren’t Tatiana’s.  An article from a news station indicates that she was wrongly identified as the mother of the two living children. 

I see that he’s also a Trump fan…  or, at least he liked Trump’s book, The Art of the Deal

Maybe a little less time spent reading Trump’s drivel and a little more time spent tending to your children is in order, Seth.  Don’t you think?

And he has pictures of his farm and garden on his page, indicating that he does know how to nurture plants.  It’s a pity he didn’t nurture his baby daughter.  He also has a couple of Nubian goats whom he says probably would be turned into meat.  Perhaps their lives will be spared, now that Farmer Seth is cooling his heels in the county lockup.

I know this isn’t funny, so I probably shouldn’t make subtle jokes…  It’s just hard to fathom the ridiculousness of this situation.  It’s truly a very sad case.  I feel horrible for the other children whose lives are going to be upended by all of this.

On another note…  I wonder when this photo will be turned into a meme…

Maybe by tomorrow?  Hell, maybe I’ll make a meme out of it myself.  

As of 2023…

Seth Welch and Tatiana Fusari are now divorced. In 2020, Seth Welch was convicted of murder and first degree child abuse in the death of Mary Welch. In October 2021, Tatiana Fusari was also convicted of murder and child abuse. Fusari claimed that she was abused and tortured by her ex husband, Seth Welch, and that made her unable to take care of their ten month old daughter, Mary. During her testimony, Tatiana recalled waking Seth up to feel Mary kick:

“He got mad at me because I wouldn’t let him sleep,” Fusari said. “So…he asked me ‘what the (expletive) was wrong with me’, and he rolled over to face me, and he started punching me in the face. And then I tried to roll over onto my right side, to face the wall, so he would just leave the front side of me alone, but he put his weight on me.”

The next day, Tatiana went into labor. She thought Mary was small because she was born prematurely. She didn’t think anything was wrong with the baby. When she was arrested in 2018, Tatiana Fusari didn’t disclose that she had been abused by Seth Welch. In October 2021, her story was very different. She claimed that she “needed to tell the truth” and that Seth raped her “day after day”. She also stated that Seth controlled her phone and timed her to see how long it took for her to get to and from her job. He printed out a master schedule and demanded that Tatiana stick to it to the minute.

Tatiana Fusari testifies…

Tatiana’s mother-in-law, Judy had mentioned that Mary didn’t look well, and asked Tatiana when she was going to take her to see a doctor. Tatiana stated that Seth thought Mary was fine. He didn’t trust doctors and didn’t want the “government involved in the family’s business.” When Tatiana brought up taking the baby to see a doctor:

“He smacked me across the face,” Fusari said. “He said ‘you know what the (expletive) I think about doctors. Do you want to keep bringing these people into our home?’ And I dropped it.”

Tatiana Fusari also alleged that Seth only wanted Mary fed with food grown on their farm. He would not allow her to be fed with store bought formula. Anytime she questioned him, he would beat her.

Prosecutors argued that Mary’s autopsy showed that she wasn’t feeding Mary. At the time of her death, Mary weighed just 8 pounds. Both Seth and Tatiana were sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of parole for murdering Mary Welch.

Tatiana Fusari’s sentencing.

This is a really sad case. It didn’t have to end the way it did. I hate to think of people rotting in prison for the rest of their lives, but in this case, it’s probably warranted. I would definitely say Seth Welch is where he needs to be. Tatiana Fusari may have very well been his victim, but she had a responsibility to act. It’s tragic that she didn’t ask for the help she obviously needed, for herself, and for her helpless, innocent baby girl.

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CPS, Police

Guns a blazin’!

A few days ago, I read the story of Arizona parents of three, Sarah Beck and Brooks Bryce, whose unvaccinated two year old son had a very high fever. At about 5:00pm on February 25th, Ms. Beck took the boy to Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine’s clinic. She saw a doctor who was concerned that the boy might have meningitis because his fever was over 105 degrees.

The doctor told Beck that she should take her son to a local emergency room. Ms. Beck didn’t want to take the child to the ER because she was afraid staffers there would call CPS due to the child’s lack of vaccinations. The naturopathic doctor assured Beck that CPS would not be summoned. Beck then apparently relented, and the doctor advised her to take her son to a children’s hospital. The doctor then called the hospital and asked them to let her know when the mother and child arrived.

Ms. Beck then decided not to take her boy to the ER. She said his fever broke and he appeared to feel better. They went home. Meanwhile, the doctor she’d consulted got very worried when Beck didn’t visit the ER with her child. She called the police and asked the to do a wellness check. When the police showed up to do the check, Brooks Bryce, father of the two year old and his four and six year old siblings, refused to allow the police to see the child. He declined to take the child to the hospital, supposedly worried about the potentially high bill associated with an ER visit.

At 1:30am, the police showed up at the home again with a court order. Since Beck and Bryce still refused to cooperate, they broke down the door and seized all three of the children. The parents were ordered to come outside with their hands up, as police officers swarmed their home with guns drawn. They were arrested and, to this day, their kids remain in foster care. It was later determined that the boy and his sisters had a respiratory sickness.

I shared this story with friends. One friend felt the police were justified in breaking down the front door and hauling these parents to jail. Personally, I disagree. I think the way the police handled this case could ultimately do more harm than good.

On the surface, this seems reasonable. Or, it could just mean the doctor doesn’t want to deal with addicted patients. OB-GYNs do have to pay a lot for malpractice insurance.

As I was explaining why I feel this way, I was reminded of a post I wrote on my old blog about pregnant women being warned about their drug use at the doctor’s office. A doctor had posted a note in his office about how any pregnant woman who tested positive for drugs would be reported to the authorities. My immediate thought was that the doctor wasn’t actually interested in helping all pregnant women. He or she was probably more concerned about liability. A Facebook friend had posted a photo of the note, commending the doctor on his stance. But I got the feeling that she hadn’t considered what that attitude would actually mean for the developing fetus in the drug addicted mom. Pregnant women who abuse drugs still need medical care, probably even more than other pregnant women who don’t have addictions. Posting a sign that guarantees that the addicted mom will get in trouble with the law is pretty much a guarantee that she won’t seek medical help when she needs it.

In this case, Sarah Beck was afraid to visit the emergency room with her son. Why? Because she was under the impression that someone would call CPS on her for not having him vaccinated. Yes, the doctor did inform Beck that her child would not be seized, since Arizona allows parents to opt their children out of vaccinations for personal, religious, and medical reasons. But, for some reason, she was still afraid that her parental rights would be stripped from her. Ultimately, that is exactly what happened, even if it was because the parents refused to cooperate with the authorities. This case ended up being referenced on anti-vax sites contending that Arizona child protective services “sells” children into foster care. So what does that do? Now, more people are going to be convinced that seeking medical or police help will lead to arrest.

I certainly don’t condone the way Sarah Beck and Brooks Bryce behaved. I think they should have been much more cooperative. I have read about what the police found when they raided their home, and I’ve seen the video in which the police kicked in the front door. Yes, there was evidence that the children weren’t getting the best care. Vomit was found on the children’s beds and there was a lot of clutter. Particularly concerning was the fact that police found a shotgun in the parents’ nightstand, which reportedly wasn’t functional. For that reason, I can see why the police officers placed the father in handcuffs.

I also think that certain vaccines should be mandatory, unless a person can’t take them for medical reasons. While I’m generally whole-heartedly in favor of a person having complete rights to his or her bodily autonomy, this is a public health issue. People still die of communicable diseases like measles, and for some people who can’t be vaccinated, it’s a true matter of life and death that healthy people are immune and can’t spread the disease. I do think that not vaccinating children, especially for formerly rare illnesses like measles, mumps, and rubella, is stupid.

However, I think the heavy handed SWAT team approach to forcing people to accept “help” will ultimately do more harm than good. The fact is, the police as a whole in the United States have gotten a very bad reputation for acting like thugs. Quite a few people have been killed or injured in their dealings with police officers. This case, in which the mom did care enough about her child to seek medical help for him, only to lose custody of him and her other children after a police standoff, does not improve that tarnished image. Moreover, it did turn out the children weren’t that sick, and their father had a justifiable concern about how much an emergency room visit would cost. Medical care in the United States is extremely expensive, particularly for the many people who still lack adequate health insurance.

People should be able to count on medical people and police for help when they need it. I think most police officers and medical professionals care about the people they serve, but I can also see why some people justifiably fear them. It seems like in the United States these days, it’s all too easy to end up on the wrong side of the law. We incarcerate more people in our prisons, many of which are privately owned and operate for profit, than any other nation. Ultimately, I think the better goal is to try to keep families together and strive to support them, rather than threaten them.

While I grant that these parents weren’t cooperating with the authorities and something needed to be done, I also think that the children in this story will forever be left with the image of their parents being arrested and being sent to foster care in separate homes. That will probably cause lasting damage. What is also worrying is the perception among other people that if they seek help, they might eventually be arrested in a very dramatic way. It doesn’t help that in the United States today, people are very quick to call CPS for any reason at all. People have lost custody of their children simply for letting them walk to school by themselves or play alone in their front yards.

I did read that this couple had been in touch with CPS more than once. I do think that they should be investigated. I don’t agree with the super dramatic police response, though, especially since it’s now all over the media. Just my opinion. I feel like there should be more room for parents to exercise their judgment when it comes to taking care of their children, even if I can also see why the authorities were legitimately concerned in this case. The good news is, it looks like the children are back to normal health, even if they aren’t in their parents’ care.

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