Tag Archives: crime

controversies, music, politics, racism, social media

People “trying that in a small town”…

The featured photo is a screenshot of a map of the area where I grew up, from 1980-90. It’s gotten bigger in terms of population, but the mindset remains frighteningly much the same as it was 40 years ago…

It’s a cool, rainy morning here in Germany, and we’re on day two of Bill’s latest TDY trip. Yesterday, I booked the first three nights of our next trip together. It’s our biannual trip to the dentist in Stuttgart, which I’ve started turning into an opportunity to visit other places within driving distance. I already explained in my travel blog how we came to decide on the Czech Republic for our next journey, but before we head there, we have to get our teeth cleaned. So, for the first three nights, we’ll stay in the charming town of Tübingen, a place we already know well and love.

As I sit here thinking about how I want to arrange the rest of our trip, I can’t help but reflect more on Jason Aldean’s current hit song, “Try That in a Small Town”. I wrote a blog post about it a couple of days ago. It was mainly based on my initial reactions to the song and its video, which came across as belligerent and obnoxious to me. Unlike some people, I didn’t initially see the song as blatantly racist. There truly aren’t any lyrics within the song itself that are obviously aimed at people of color.

The video, on the other hand, seems very much geared to spin up the MAGA extremists. Parts of the video were shot at a Tennessee courthouse where a Black teenager was lynched in 1927. Those who defend the video point out that the same courthouse in Columbia, Tennessee has been featured in Disney films and other productions. That point, to me, seems irrelevant, though, when you consider that “Try That in a Small Town” is a song about small town folks kicking ass and taking names against anyone who dares to step out of line (in their view). It seems to me that in a country as large as the United States is, another courthouse location could have been used… or, perhaps a different type of place, altogether. They could have used bucolic landscapes, instead of a courthouse.

@destineenstark I may be petty, but my THOROUGH and petty! 😂 Here is my dissertation debunking Jason Aldean’s claims about his 🎶🎥 propaganda. #jasonaldean #countrymusic #debunked #debunktok #factsoverfeelings #propganda #americanpropaganda ♬ original sound – Destinee Stark

There are many very quick clips of violent uprisings and riots shown in the video. However, TikToker Destinee Stark was among the first people to determine that a lot of the clips that were used weren’t actually from events that occurred in the United States. More worrying is that Ms. Stark is now reportedly receiving racist and violent hate mail from fans of the song. It seems to me that if this song is so innocent, people wouldn’t feel the need to harass Destinee Stark for simply having and sharing her opinions, as well as real evidence that the video is a crock of shit. Stark discovered that one clip used in the video came from an event in Berlin. Another clip was stock footage easily found online. Other clips were also questionable as to whether or not they originated in the United States. Of course, no footage from January 6th was used at all.

According to the linked article on NBC News:

“I just think that people have a right to know,” Stark said. “Things like this, they inform politics and it informs how we vote, how we see the world and who we interact with. And I just think that if we’re consuming content that’s not even accurate, that it’s just propaganda. And it’s just fueling people, you know, to commit more violence.”

As I mentioned in my first post about this song, I don’t think Aldean should be censored or canceled. I do wish, however, that instead of racing to defend this song and its message, people would take a few moments to consider the other side what is being communicated. A lot of people are claiming that this song is just about standing up for small town values and people “protecting their own”. As someone who grew up in a small town and both witnessed and experienced the negative side of that upbringing, I can truthfully state that the message in “Try That in a Small Town” is a bit distorted. It IS true that if you were born and raised in a small town, and people there consider you to be “okay”, you probably will get help from your neighbors when you need it. But if you’re different somehow, you will probably face harassment and suspicion. And people can be very slow to change their opinions in small towns.

Take for instance, a news item that came up in my memories a few days ago. Three years ago, some people of Mathews, Virginia– a county adjacent to Gloucester County, which is where I grew up– were very upset because there was talk about renaming an elementary school. The school in question, then named Lee-Jackson Elementary School, was named after Confederate war heroes Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson. I see that today, the school is called Mathews Elementary School. If you click this link, you can see who showed up to demand that the name didn’t change. It’s a whole lot of older White guys carrying Confederate Battle flags.

I don’t know for certain, but my guess is that a lot of those folks aren’t that interested in education in the first place. Most educated people would not show up to a public event in the United States carrying flags and signs that are deemed overtly racist. Even if someone privately sympathizes with the “good ol’ boys”, smart people don’t go around broadcasting what a lot of people would associate with naked racism. It’s not good for business.

Things haven’t changed in over 40 years…

Looking at the photo from July 2020, I am transported back about 4o years, when my parents first moved us to Gloucester. In those days, Gloucester was a VERY rural place, and Mathews was even more rural. It was not uncommon to see the “stars and bars” displayed everywhere. I well remember being bullied when I arrived in Gloucester, because I was “different”. Every day, I would come from school in tears because people in my class and on my bus harassed me. But, at least I was straight and White, and in spite of being a little eccentric, I really wasn’t that different than other people were. I did eventually fit in somewhat, even though it took about a year or two (to a child, that is an eternity).

Other people weren’t so lucky. I remember a lot of race based fighting when I was in high school, mostly between Black people and folks from an area of the county called “Guinea”. It was well known among my classmates that Guinea was a place you didn’t want to go to after dark, unless you were from there. I know there are good people in Guinea, but it did not have a good reputation, at least when I lived in Gloucester.

Years later, Gloucester was in the news because of a transgender student named Gavin Grimm, who took his case to the Supreme Court in order to be able to use the boys’ bathroom. I had long left Gloucester by the time Gavin Grimm was in the news, but I do recall reading some pretty horrifying hate-filled letters to the editor from our local newspaper, which I still follow. In August 2021, the Gloucester County School Board was ordered to pay Grimm $1.3 million to resolve the lawsuit.

I was inspired to write today’s post, in part, because of an op-ed I read in the Washington Post. It was written by Brian Broome, a gay Black writer who grew up in a small town in northern Ohio. His piece, titled “Jason Aldean? Please spare me the small-town nostalgia.”, is a shout out to those of us who were deemed different somehow, yet stuck growing up in a small town, where people refused to accept our differences. Broome no doubt had it much worse than I ever could have. But, instead of his community embracing and protecting him, as Aldean’s song suggests, Broome experienced racism and homophobia. And instead of being encouraged to speak out against the discrimination, Broome was encouraged to “shut up and color”. He was not free to be himself, and he couldn’t wait to leave that stifling small town, where too many people thought too small, and had no time for differing opinions or new experiences.

I was further inspired today when I noticed the most recent crime log from Gloucester, Virginia. It looks like it covers the last month. The list of reported crimes include things like DWI, assault & battery, grand larceny, breaking & entering, strangulation, and a host of other offenses. Granted, Gloucester has grown a lot in population since I was coming of age there, but it’s still a very conservative place, and it’s still sort of a “small town”. I wouldn’t say that the sentiment of Aldean’s song is ringing true there. People are still misbehaving, with no blowback from the locals. Not that I’d necessarily want the locals to engage in vigilantism, as Aldean’s song suggests. I guess it just goes to show that the sentiment in the song is a bit mythical, and it’s designed to inflame right wingers, who don’t embrace people who aren’t like them. And that doesn’t necessarily just mean people of color, either.

Here’s a gallery of screenshots from the local paper, Glo Quips, referencing people “trying that in a small town” over the past month… Eleven whole pages!

If Aldean and his songwriters really believe in their lyrics, maybe they should focus more on being tolerant and decent to other people, rather than promoting vigilantism and suspicion. “Try That in a Small Town” just sounds to me like a bunch of scared people rattling their sabers, threatening those who don’t subscribe to the typical small town mindset. I suspect that the song is intended to rile up the right, as another election cycle gets into full swing. Lots of people are terrified of the idea that people other than conservative Christian white males might be on top, for a change. So, instead of being positive and peaceful, they spin up more divisiveness with threatening, belligerent anthems that aren’t even based on actual events in the United States. And the less curious among us are lapping it up with gusto, believing the narrative without a second thought as they holler about how “non-racist” the song is.

I wish some of those people would stop for a moment and consider that real freedom should be for everyone… and maybe it’s time to think of the whole country as a “small town”, where people look out for each other. Or hell, maybe we can consider that the whole world is full of good people— people who, when it comes down to it, have blood just as red as yours is.

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love, marriage, musings

Ahh… now this is more like it…

As I wrote on my travel blog yesterday, Bill decided that we needed a nice lunch after last week’s home improvement trauma. Last year, at the tail end of the COVID-19 lockdowns, we discovered a restaurant called Landhaus Diedert. We have now been there three times. Every time I’ve left there after a Sunday lunch, I’ve felt very contented. It’s a beautiful restaurant with gorgeous, delicious food, wonderful wines, and friendly, competent, kind service.

Yesterday, we sat outside in the restaurant’s Biergarten for the first time. We had perfect weather– sunny skies, with a gentle breeze, maybe about 74 degrees Fahrenheit. Our table was under a canopy of mature trees, where everyone was peacefully and quietly enjoying lunch. Now THAT was the life…

I do love living in Germany, even though being here has its inconveniences. Like, for example, this morning, I tried to access one of my online bank accounts, which now has two factor authentication. Although I called the bank and gave them my German phone number, and they confirmed that it worked, there must have been a system update. Now, my number has the wrong country code, so I can’t get their stupid authentication texts, nor will they email them to me. Their system won’t let me update the information online, so I’m going to have to call them later, once there are people at work. That’s one persistent problem with living here.

Another is not being very good at speaking German, which means we have to deal with sexist, inconsiderate assholes like the guys who temporarily took up residence in my house last week. I suppose I could have spoken to them in English and let my non-verbal language do the talking. They made it clear they weren’t interested in listening to me, though. While I know it’s pointless to be angry about this, the truth is, I’m still fuming. I hope karma catches up to those two motherfuckers very soon.

And I do miss some people from my past, too… like my mom and my sisters. We’ve missed a lot of family events, although maybe it’s better than we didn’t go to those.

Still, I couldn’t help but reflect yesterday on just how lovely our afternoon was. We had good food, good wine, and good company. It was just a really nice day, and an effective reminder as to why we prefer life in Europe. Too bad Bill has to go away again this upcoming weekend. It’s another week of TDY in Bavaria. But, it looks like he’ll be temporarily changing duties soon, which will mean no TDY travel for awhile.

I was wearing my favorite colors yesterday, which went pretty well with my sun and age bleached hair and blue eyes. 😀 I may look like an old hag when I’m at home, but I can clean up alright when I put on some makeup. I’m definitely a fan of blue. I felt pretty yesterday, in spite of being old and fat.

Not too shabby.

It’s days like yesterday that give me hope and make me want to stick around. And it’s photos like the one below that remind me of how much I disliked living in Texas.

Nine years ago, we were preparing to move out of our house in Texas, and some idiot tried to break in. They bled all over the driveway. Not to say that crime doesn’t happen in Germany, but there’s a lot less of this kind of shit.

Of course… in Europe, we do have our share of jerks, too. But at least, by and large, they aren’t armed. I read a very sad story a couple of days ago about a man whose wife of 18 months was shot and killed in a road rage accident. Someone cut the man off, so he flipped off the driver with his middle finger. Next thing he knew, his wife had been shot and killed. Naturally, it happened in Texas ( in the Dallas Fort-Worth area).

Here in Germany, flipping people off, especially in traffic, is illegal and can result in a large fine if you get caught doing it (especially if you do it to cops). And again… a lot fewer guns here, too… and the weather is generally not so horrible in the summer as it is in Texas.

So… I guess I’ll simmer down, although Bill still plans to have a talk with our landlord, if only to let him know that next time there’s a big job involving craftsmen, he’ll probably work from home. He’s probably a much better man than I deserve.

I think I’ll close this post and play my guitar. Maybe later, if it’s not too hot and I’m feeling cheeky, maybe I’ll record a new song. I couldn’t do any last week. Cheerio!

The featured photo is of the beautiful trees at Landhaus Diedert. Their Biergarten is just lovely, especially on temperate July days.

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Biden, money, narcissists, politicians, politics, Trump

Some people only care about an extra $40…

And before I get too cranked up with this post, allow me to add, I do understand that for some people, that extra $40 really does make a difference. I’ve been broke myself. I know that when you don’t make a lot of money, what seems like a piddly amount to people who are better off can be very significant. However… sometimes, people really can’t see the forest for the trees.

A few days ago, Donald Trump got indicted following an investigation into a hush money payment scheme. I know that there was a lot of speculation as this occurrence approached. People wondered how Trump’s most rabid supporters would react. So far, it doesn’t seem like people have gone too nuts yet. Honestly, I think a lot of Trump’s supporters have been quietly shutting the F up, because they’re finally seeing the man for the repulsive creep he is. But a few folks still haven’t gotten the picture.

A friend of mine who teaches school in North Carolina has made no secret of how she feels about Trump. Like me, she can’t stand him. And she was celebrating his indictment on her Facebook page. Most of her friends were celebrating with her, but you know… there’s always one in EVERY crowd.

A male friend of hers bitterly posted this. “Hillary and the rest are next.”

He also added sulky comments to people who were making fun of Trump, insisting that Joe Biden is SO MUCH WORSE! He started his own comment thread on my friend’s post, writing this: “I can’t believe there are people this dumb still out there.”

It was obvious this guy was in a confrontational mood and needed to talk about his dismay. He’s still stubbornly clinging to lies, and can’t seem to join us in the sunlight of reality. My friend is a very compassionate person, so she finally addressed her butt hurt friend. She wrote:

“I know, right? Some people actually still support him. Unbelievable for sure!”

Obviously, that was not the response Mr. Butt Hurt was hoping for, so he responded in three comments that I have consolidated:

“…some people support this idiot we have now with dementia. Definitely unbelievable. …hey. But he’s good at making up new words. …and I also suppose you support a President that cheats on his wife in the White House.”

It’s really not cool for people to unofficially diagnose others with dementia. That’s not a laughing matter. When I see people casually saying that Biden has dementia, it automatically makes me think that they’re shitty people. But that’s just my own opinion.

My friend reasonably explained, “has nothing to do with support or lack thereof for any other politicians. It’s about this lifelong bully finally facing some consequences for his actions.”

And then comes Mr. Butt Hurt again with this comment… “best economy we had in a long time.” and this follow on, “have you ever heard Biden speak. He’s just as bullish.”

First off, I don’t think “bullish” is the same as “bully”. Secondly, I’d be pretty leery of a “great economy” created at the hands of an obvious con artist and fraudster. To me, that’s just common sense. Even if the money generated during Trump’s brief time in the White House was legitimate, I know it couldn’t and wouldn’t last. Why? Because Donald Trump isn’t interested in seeing YOU become richer and more powerful. He wants EVERYTHING for himself!

So, even if you temporarily get that extra $40 in your paycheck that helps you fill your gas tank so you can get to your second job, it won’t last. Eventually, and gradually (or as gradual as he can afford to be, as he inexorably ages, and gets closer to a plot in the family graveyard), Trump will be claiming what’s yours and mine. That’s what narcissists do. What’s his is his, and what’s yours is also his. Anyone who has spent time around narcissists knows this. And unlike Biden’s so-called “dementia”, Trump’s narcissism is extremely obvious.

My compassionate friend wrote, “did you not read what I just posted? This is not about Biden or Hillary or Clinton or any other politician.”

And Mr. Butt Hurt responded: “you just don’t like Trump. I don’t have to like someone to know when they were doing a good job. I didn’t like Trump the person. But I sure as hell liked this economy and gas prices when he was in there!”

Then, he added “is this economy better? If you say yes, you have to quit watching CNN and the View.”

Again… I strongly suspect that those byproducts of Trump’s seagull leadership style were temporary and not genuine. Because if Trump had won a second stint in the White House, what would be his motivation for keeping the economy strong? He’d have four more years as a “lame duck” president to do whatever the fuck he wanted and work on changing the laws so he could stay in power. I know Trump famously stated that the White House is a “dump”, but he sure loved the power that came from being the commander in chief. And to guys like him, that power is so hard to give up. It’s like a heroin addict trying to go straight.

As for the second comment… well, isn’t that typical of some of the Trump supporters, assuming that people who don’t like Trump are people who watch CNN and and The View? God forbid they realize that people can come to these conclusions without being spoon fed by the media. Some of us are reading and observing, rather than watching daytime TV or mainstream news. However, in spite of my just typing what I typed, I’ll bet Mr. Butt Hurt is a Fox News fan.

I finally couldn’t take it anymore, so I commented: “It’s too bad money is all that matters to some people.”

And I know… when you have no money, that extra $40 can make you feel “rich”. I don’t think Mr. Butt Hurt is in the category of voters who really needs an extra $40, but his response to me was this…

“well it is nice to be able to buy things.”

Now THAT is a very interesting response indeed. It pretty much sums things up nicely, doesn’t it? He’s more concerned about being able to “buy things” than having a respectable, decent, law abiding person serving as a world leader. He uses his ability to buy things as a gauge as to whether or not a president has done a “good job.” I’ll bet Mr. Butt Hurt is against abortion, too, and blames “irresponsible, slutty” women for the situation they find themselves in when they “get themselves pregnant”. And, in case it’s not obvious, the quote marks mean that that is not my actual view. Mr. Butt Hurt wants to be able to buy his new garden hose with ease… or remodel his deck.

Who cares about people who are rounded up by ICE and separated from their families for weeks? Why worry about people who are marginalized because of who they love, how they identify themselves, or how they dress? Why concern oneself with cronyism, obvious lying, cheating, and stealing, thug like behavior, alienating of our allies, and pandering to wannabe world dictators like Vladimir Putin? Trump will sell us out to the highest bidder and reap all of the profits. He’d love to be the king of the United States, with all of his supporters doing his bidding to make us look like a backwater banana republic. And he’d love to have a harem of beautiful women he can kiss and grab by the pussy at will. This is the type of unhinged, depraved individual that Trump is. Many of us can finally see it, but some folks are still clinging to that extra $40 and $1.89 gas, and the futile hope of their quick return.

Now, I’m not saying the Democrats don’t have their problems. I think there are a lot of dirty people in politics. And I am not saying Joe Biden is the best president we’ve ever had. Our stock portfolio has taken a hit, too. And I’m not even saying that Biden doesn’t have his own issues with invading people’s spaces. In fact, just this morning, I see in my Facebook memories from 2019 that people were speaking out about his penchant for “Eskimo kisses”. I agree– unwanted physical touching isn’t okay, particularly when it can be construed as sexual. BUT… I find it hard to get too outraged over Eskimo kisses when Trump has a long history of actually molesting women AND bragging about it! To me, not having a man like that as my leader is worth not having that extra $40… or, in the case of our stock portfolio, that extra $15k or so.

There are certain minimum standards that I think we should expect in a world leader of a modern, powerful nation. For instance, a leader should be level headed, intelligent, and fair minded. A leader should be law abiding. A leader should be able to stop themselves from saying things that are inflammatory or defamatory. And a leader should be able to keep his hands to himself. Hell… I’d just like to have a leader who seems to have learned the basic decorum we all learn in kindergarten. I’m sorry to say, Donald Trump demonstrates very few of those skills. When I look at him or listen to him speak, all I hear is “Mine, MINE, MINE!!!”

And when I read comments from people like Mr. Butt Hurt, I hear someone who admires that in a president, just so they can “buy things”. To hell with any other concerns the rest of us might have.

 

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law, safety, true crime

But we don’t really need gun control, do we?

This morning, as I was taking down all the Christmas shit in my living room, Bill read me a very tragic news story coming out of Newport News, Virginia. I am very familiar with Newport News, as I grew up in Gloucester, Virginia, which isn’t that far away from there. I used to think of Newport News as kind of an exciting place, as it was a lot more populated than Gloucester was, and it had shopping malls. Now, I kind of think of it in less glowing terms, as there’s a lot of crime and random violence there, not to mention too much traffic. That’s been the case for a pretty long time.

The shocking story Bill told me about today involves a six year old boy. The first grader somehow got his hands on a firearm and took it to Richneck Elementary School. Yesterday, at about 2:00 PM, the boy shot his teacher, a woman in her 30s. Newport News Police Chief Steve Drew says they don’t know how the child got the handgun, but the shooting was not accidental. It happened in a classroom, after the child had an altercation with the teacher. She’s now at Riverside Regional Medical Center, being closely monitored by doctors, as she recovers from the wounds delivered by a six year old child. I am familiar with Riverside, having been there as a patient a couple of times myself.

ETA: Last night, I read that the teacher was identified as 25 year old Abby Zwerner. She is a fairly recent graduate of James Madison University and current resident of Williamsburg, Virginia, a town I know well. We even have a mutual Facebook friend.

ETA 2: It turns out our “mutual Facebook friend” is Abby’s aunt, whom I was friends with in high school. Six degrees of separation, I tell you. My friend shared a GoFundMe for Abby.

A news story about the shooting at Richneck Elementary School.

Richneck Elementary School serves about 550 students. There are metal detectors at the school, but up until now, students were checked randomly. I’m sure that policy will change, thanks to this incident. That will mean more hassles for the students, and another reminder that schools are not as safe as they once were. It’s also one more example as to why many talented adults might not want to go into education. Imagine this teacher, whose charges are among the youngest in school, being shot by a six year old! She probably thought she was working with a relatively safe population of children. Obviously, she can’t think that anymore.

I wish I could say I was rendered speechless by the news Bill delivered about this latest shooting. Sadly, having watched the violence unfolding in US schools over the past twenty plus years, I can’t say that this development is super surprising anymore. I don’t know what the hell has gotten into people in the United States, but it’s definitely a much more violent place than it was when I was coming of age. When I was in school, we didn’t need cops to be permanently stationed there to keep the peace. Sometimes my classmates would bring their guns to school, but only because they were going hunting, not because they wanted to shoot people.

Now, the boy has been arrested, and his future is in serious jeopardy. Fortunately, only the teacher was injured; no students or other staff members were hurt in the attack. The teacher’s condition is said to have improved somewhat over the course of the afternoon. I’m not sure what that means, as the teacher’s actual injuries haven’t been disclosed, other than to report that they were initially believed to be “life threatening”. One news report included the 911 call, which mentioned that the teacher was shot in the abdomen.

An update by Newport News Police Chief Steve Drew…

The superintendent of Newport News Public Schools, Dr. George Parker, said at the news conference that “we need to keep guns out of the hands of our young people.” Yeah, no shit. There are too many guns in our communities, and too many children are being exposed to gun violence. I don’t know a thing about this little boy, except that his life has now been forever altered. Does he even realize the seriousness of what he’s done?

I also wonder about his parents. Were they responsible for the fact that their child got ahold of a weapon and took it to school? Or was it a friend or a relative? Somehow, an adult let this child down, and now he’s going to have to pay for this action for the rest of his life, even if he doesn’t spend the rest of his childhood incarcerated. How did he learn how to use a gun?

According to the New York Times:

“I cannot control access to weapons,” Dr. Parker said. “My teachers cannot control access to weapons.” He added, “Today our students got a lesson in gun violence and what guns can do to disrupt not only an educational environment, but also a family, a community.”

Dr. Parker said school would be closed on Monday “as we work on the mental health of our staff and our students.”

It’s going to take a lot more than a day off school for the children to heal from this scary situation. Schools should be safe places for children. But then, homes should also be safe, and it doesn’t sound like the boy in this story has a safe home. I hope there will be criminal consequences for the person responsible for allowing this child to get his hands on a gun. This is a situation in which I do think prison time is entirely justified. Not only did this person put everyone at that school in danger by allowing a six year old access to a weapon, but he or she also ruined this child’s life before it’s even really begun. And that is tragic and, indeed, criminal!

If there is a bright side to this story, it’s that even though school shootings are very much on the rise, shootings perpetrated by very young children are still very rare. According to the New York Times, at this writing, there have only been 16 incidents since 1970 involving a child under age 10. This is based on research done by David Riedman, who founded the K-12 School Shooting Database after the mass shooting at a high school in Parkland, Fla., in 2018. According to Riedman, there has only been one school shooting incident that involved someone younger than six years old. That incident happened in Memphis, Tennessee in 2013, when a 5 year old kindergartner discharged a firearm in his school’s cafeteria. No one was injured in that incident.

Anyway… I still don’t like Newport News, because it’s always been kind of crime ridden and congested. Now it has the distinction of being a place where a six year old can bring a gun on school grounds and open fire on his teacher. That is extremely and profoundly heartbreaking on so many levels. I pray the teacher is able to recover, and this child gets the intense help and intervention he obviously so desperately needs. I also wish the staff, students, and faculty at Richneck Elementary School all the best as they process what has happened. No wonder so many parents would rather homeschool these days!

I don’t want to just offer thoughts and prayers, because that seems to be a very trite thing to do… but I don’t know what else to do, other than shake my head and feel completely shocked and dismayed at the state of the world these days. It’s just terrifying, and so very sad.

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complaints, musings, poor judgment, true crime

What would you have Skylar Mack do?

I know I can and should write about how today is the very last day Trump will be called “president”. Or, at least he has to wait four years before he runs again, which I hope will never happen. I do have some thoughts on Trump’s departure from the White House. I also realize that things aren’t going to noticeably improve for awhile. It takes time for the stench of big business to clear, just as I’m sure it takes time for the stench of Donald Trump’s farts and shits to dissipate. We will have some wild news days for some time to come.

A screenshot of a funny image making the rounds today. Kudos to Portuguese cartoonist, Vasco Gargalo for this awesome image. Here’s a page for him.

However… although I could write about Trump’s departure, I want to address something else on my mind. It has to do with mean people and mean comments.

Last night, I got a drive by visit from some butthurt guy from Charleston, West Virginia. I’m not sure what he was doing on my blog. I don’t know for certain, but my guess is that he’s a Trumper who is upset that his orange leader is departing Washington, DC and wants to lash out at strangers. Or maybe he’s not a Trumper. Maybe he’s just an asshole who likes leaving rude comments to people he doesn’t know who happen to have a different viewpoint than he does.

Anyway… this guy, name of Marty, hit my post about Skylar Mack, the 18 year old young woman who was arrested in the Cayman Islands and spent about six or seven weeks in jail. Not the one I wrote yesterday, but the one I wrote last month.

In his post, Marty wrote some choice words about what an entitled jerk he thinks Skylar Mack is… then he called me a SJW, as well as a few other things. I could tell by my statcounter report that Marty had spent a total of about four minutes on my blog, and felt compelled to spew his nastiness at me, a perfect stranger, simply because he doesn’t agree with the views I express on my personal blog.

I did not publish his comment. In fact, after skimming it, I deleted it. And if he comes back here and leaves me another shitty comment, I will ban him. Maybe some people think that’s harsh or a violation of his right to freedom of expression, but this space isn’t a democracy. I pay a lot of money to host my blog. It’s my space. And while I used to let people pretty much write whatever they wanted, I’ve decided that I’m not going to do that anymore. Life is too short. If you want to be rude and nasty, go post somewhere else. I will not allow it here.

Speaking of Skylar Mack. I noticed similarly nasty spew written about her on the news sites. Many people, the vast majority of whom have never met Skylar Mack, are calling her a selfish, entitled, spoiled brat. They laugh at her apology, and even the fact that she admits she deserved to go to jail. Last night, I left a supportive comment for her, writing that I hoped she’d learned something from her experience and could move on with her life. I got a response from some woman who feels sure that Skylar didn’t learn anything but how to run to mommy for help.

Skylar Mack speaks out.

I responded that I felt like that wasn’t a fair assessment of Skylar Mack at all. I highly doubt that woman has ever met Skylar. Granted, I never have, either, but I’ve read that she’s 18 years old and a junior in college. If that’s true, she must have done some things right. I don’t approve of her choice to go to the Cayman Islands and then break quarantine. It was a stupid mistake. But she’s paid for her mistake, and now it’s time to let her redeem herself in peace.

The lady came back and said that I only feel this way because Skylar’s name is “Skylar”. In other words, she assumes, not ever having met me or knowing a single thing about me, that I am only being supportive because Skylar Mack is a pretty White woman. That’s not true at all. It doesn’t matter a whit to me that Skylar is a pretty White woman. I wouldn’t think locking her in a cell for months on end for her crime would be appropriate no matter what she looked like or what her name was.

I don’t think locking people up is appropriate in all circumstances. I think it’s done far too often in the United States, particularly for non-violent crimes. Skylar was jailed in the Cayman Islands, but I’m pretty sure that time behind bars was very unpleasant for her. I doubt she’ll forget it anytime soon. And I think the reduced punishment she received was fair and just, particularly since her initial punishment didn’t involve jail time at all and was reassessed by someone wanting to make an example out of her.

Skylar Mack can’t help who she is. She can’t help that she was named Skylar, and was born White. She can’t help that she has a supportive family who did what they could to help her. You know what? If she was my daughter, I’d do the same damned thing. I would be angry at her for making a poor decision and would definitely voice my strong disapproval of her choices. I certainly would not have bankrolled her trip. But if she was my daughter and she got in trouble in another country, you bet your ass I’d do whatever I could to help her. I think most decent parents would. I don’t blame Skylar Mack’s family for reaching out for help. I would do it, too, for a friend or a loved one.

Then I asked the lady, who was still challenging me, what she would have Skylar Mack do. Does she honestly think another month or two of her sitting in jail would have made more of an impression on her? How about a year? Should Skylar be forced to wear a hair shirt or self-flagellate? Should she kill herself or be beheaded? Exactly what punishment, in this person’s view, would be sufficient? And what makes her think she’s qualified to judge? Would she want that for herself if she made a mistake and landed in jail? I would also strongly caution her to never say never. All too often, “never” turns out to be a famous last word.

While I might agree that people of color typically get treated differently by law enforcement– that is, much more harshly– than White people do, I don’t think the solution to fixing that issue is to treat White people worse. I think the solution is to treat everyone with more respect, fairness, and kindness. We all make mistakes, particularly when we’re young, inexperienced, and impulsive. It’s not effective to be cruel and abusive. The goal of punishment should be correction and reform, not breaking people down so they can’t recover.

If it later turns out that Skylar didn’t learn from this experience and goes on to commit more crimes, I might change my mind about her. I’m sure I’ll be less inclined to give her a pass for bad behavior. But at this point, I truly hope she can move on from this and get back on the right path. I think she got the point, and no, it doesn’t matter to me that she’s a pretty White woman and apparently privileged. She’s a human being, and I think she should be given basic respect and consideration for that.

I feel that all people should get basic respect for being human. I am inclined to forgive Skylar Mack for making a mistake. I think I should be able to state that without someone making assumptions about the type of person I am, making fun of me, or leaving me mean or insulting comments. And again, leaving me a rude comment here will result in nothing more than laughter, deletion, and banning. I ain’t got the time for it.

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, maybe I’ll be back later for one last Trump post. Or maybe not… today might be a good day to make some music.

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