celebrities, mental health, narcissists, royals, YouTube

Somehow saying, “For God’s sake, LOOK AT ME!!!!!”

Regarding today’s featured photo… Did you know that you can buy fake pregnancy tests on Amazon.de that always come up positive? This is supposed to be a “practical joke”… Seems like they could be used for more nefarious purposes, too…

“Well, howdy there, Internet people…” to quote Beau of the Fifth Column. I hope you had a pleasant President’s Day. I was really struggling with writer’s block yesterday, so after I posted about our delightful Sunday dinner at a German castle, I reposted a couple of articles from 2018. I thought I might come back and write something new later, but Bill and I ended up hanging out with sweet Arran. Arran has lymphoma and has been on chemo since October. The chemo is no longer working quite as well as it was, and I fear we will have to say goodbye to him before much longer.

I dread saying goodbye to Arran. He’s been part of our lives since January 2013, and he’s an incredible dog. Losing him is going to hurt a lot. But, on the other hand, I look forward to not having to worry about canine cancer so much for awhile. We do still have Noyzi, but he’s still fairly young. I also want to go on vacation, and that’s harder to do when your dog is getting chemo. I guess the main thing I feel, though, is that this is part of life. Prolonging the inevitable isn’t productive in the long run.

Aside from hanging out with Bill at home, which we probably wouldn’t have been doing if not for Arran’s cancer, we had a fairly uneventful holiday weekend. I noticed a lot of scuttlebutt about pregnancy rumors. There’s talk that Meghan Markle might be pregnant with her third child. Some people never believed that she was ever pregnant with Prince Harry’s children, Archie and Lilibet, let alone with another baby now. There’s an especially icky rumor that Meghan “lacks the necessary parts” to have babies. I’m not sure I believe that. But then, it’s not really my business.

One of many sources claiming that a new Sussex could be on the way. Looks like H.G. forgot the “S” on this video.

Lots of people on H.G. Tudor’s channel are commenting about this “news”. I do remember Harry had said that he would only be fathering two children, due to his concerns about the environment. People are commenting on everything from Harry’s claim that he only wanted two children, Meghan’s “real” age, and how she might actually be older than 41 (sister Samantha has said Meghan is, in fact, 41), to claims that Meghan had a hysterectomy years ago, supposedly due to her having had multiple abortions.

I don’t know how true any of that is… Actually, even though I am not a fan of Meghan’s, I find the constant speculation about whether or not she still has all of her female parts, fertility (or lack thereof), real parentage of her children, and her “actual age” kind of disgusting. I think that kind of mean-spirited speculation only gives credence to the Harkles’ claims that people are being “evil” to them. It’s probably best to just ignore them… give them what they claim they want– PRIVACY.

“Stop looking at us!” Yeah, yeah, yeah…

But, of course, the Harkles won’t go away, and we keep seeing them in the news. I will admit to being part of the problem, since I read Harry’s book and reviewed it on this blog. I also read and reviewed Tom Bower’s book about Meghan and Harry. They are kind of fascinating, in a trainwreck sort of way. I don’t know if Meghan is pregnant. I don’t actually care that much. What I think is interesting is the commentary about why the rumor may be circulating– perhaps even at Meghan’s hands.

A pregnancy rumor might help people forget about South Park’s devastating and scathing episode about them…

H.G. Tudor’s commentary regarding the narcissistic uses of pregnancy is especially interesting to me. Because, as he rightly points out, Meghan being pregnant right now would be fortuitous timing, as King Charles III is about to be coronated. A potential new Sussex could possibly make the adults in the British Royal Family more interested in reconciliation with Harry and Meghan.

Personally, I think Meghan and Harry went too far with the British Royal Family and are desperate to maintain ties. Talk of gestating a baby, real or imagined, is one way to do that. It could also explain why Meghan hasn’t been out and about so much lately.

Well, I suppose time will tell. People on H.G. Tudor’s channel are already saying that Meghan will eventually have a “mythcarriage”. Clever turn of words that is… and I suppose it’s pretty plausible. It would garner attention and public sympathy, too. But maybe she won’t. Maybe she really is pregnant. While it’s not as common for women in their 40s to get pregnant, it does happen. Sometimes, it even happens by accident. But, as I’ve never been pregnant myself, I don’t really know.

Moving on… I would like to write about another attention seeking woman who is currently being buzzed about in the Duggar Family News Facebook group. I’m writing about Jill Rodrigues. Now… I don’t actually write very often about the Rodrigues family, even though I recently got a nasty comment from someone who claimed I was condescending and hateful to Jill and David Rodrigues’s pregnant daughter, Kaylee. For the record, I mostly try not to be hateful– especially to or about people with whom I don’t have any personal dealings. I will admit, though, that I am human. Sometimes, the snark does slip in on occasion. And folks, when it comes to Jill Rodrigues, it’s kind of easy to be snarky.

Jill Rodrigues was reportedly born on November 3, 1978. That means she’s 44 years old. She has 13 children, with her husband, David. David was born on May 29, 1972, meaning he and I are the same age. I know that one’s 40s and 50s is not the prime time to be making babies, but modern medicine is miraculous.

Jill’s eldest child, Nurie, is married to Anna Duggar’s brother, Nathan, and together, they have two very young sons. Jill’s daughter, Kaylee, is also married and currently pregnant. Jill recently announced that her son, Timothy, is now in a “courtship” with Heidi Coverett. This is a lot of exciting news for the “Rodlets”, as they are sometimes called by fundie snarkers. Perhaps Jill was feeling a bit left out, as she posted this announcement on her Instagram, and it was shared in the Duggar group (I am not on Instagram myself, so I didn’t find this on my own).

I have taken the liberty of editing out the children’s faces in these photos…

Alas, it was not to be, and hopes and dreams are cruelly dashed as Jill announces a miscarriage of her 14th child…

Ahem… If Jill Rodrigues really was pregnant and has suffered a miscarriage, then I am truly sorry for her loss. I would not wish that on any woman, regardless of what I might think about them. And, to be honest, I don’t think about Jill very often, but I do see her get posted about a lot due to some of the places I frequent on the Internet. I don’t agree with the way she behaves. A lot of her behaviors set off my cluster B chimes, just as Meghan Markle’s do. But if she was pregnant and had a miscarriage, that is legitimately sad news for her.

It’s kind of interesting that this announcement came up as Jill was sharing other big news about her children. I know that when it comes to narcissistic types, sometimes it’s hard to let other people have the spotlight. Pregnancy can be very validating to a vain type of narcissist. Being fertile signifies youth, which might also mean a person is still sexually alluring and attractive.

I don’t find Jill sexually alluring. I’m not attracted to women, and I probably wouldn’t go for her even if I was, because she wears tons of makeup, is a fundie Christian, and sells Plexus. But, I do realize that biologically speaking, heterosexual men are naturally attracted to women who can still reproduce. So, claiming to be pregnant at age 44 could be a stab at trying to stay youthful and attractive.

Again, maybe she really was pregnant. I don’t know if she was, nor do I even really care, on a personal note. I just find attention seeking, narcissistic behavior very interesting.

On another note, many people in the Duggar group were commenting on how the little child in the photo is holding on to Jill’s pee stick with both hands. Will the child’s hands be washed after the photo op? One would hope so. Adding to the intrigue are the messages that were supposedly written by Jill’s already born children, comforting her after her loss. This message was connected to the above photos of the very small grandchildren holding Jill’s pregnancy test and announcing that they are going to get a new aunt or uncle.

Many people in the Duggar Facebook group speculate that, in fact, Jill wrote those “messages” supposedly given to her by her children. Again, I don’t know if she did or not, but even if the kids did write them, posting it on her busy social media pages, for strangers to see, does seem to be a very needy ploy for attention. I also know, from the posters in the Duggar group, that Jill doesn’t like it when people question her sincerity. She has a habit of blocking people who are “negative”.

I’m certainly not in the position of knowing whether the pregnancy claims regarding either of these 40-ish women are true or not. I know that some women can get pregnant naturally after age 40, but it’s not necessarily easy or particularly common to do so. I think the ones who get pregnant in their 40s probably had medical help of some sort. But that’s not the kind of thing that most people want to talk about openly.

Pregnancy can be a great way to stir up attention and buzz, though, especially when the mom is “older”. It’s kind of an old trick. I saw it somewhat often when I used to hang out in a certain online “pink” site for second wives and stepmoms. Certain women would announce that they would soon be hearing the “pitter patter” of little feet, only to announce a miscarriage later. Then they would “drink up” all of the attention from other women who were kind and sympathetic to their pain. I suppose if you think about it, the need for attention on that level is kind of sad and… painful. Especially for women who are of a certain age. πŸ˜‰

Recently, I have been dealing with a little mid life crisis myself. Sometimes I do think about the fact that I don’t have children… and instead, I have dogs, who get cancer and die. :'( But, on the bright side, I don’t have to send them to college or get them fitted for braces. And dogs are an ever flowing fountain of love, loyalty, and regard toward those who bring them into their families and take good care of them. I have never regretted a single dog adoption… except for one, and that was an exceptional case. That dog never actually made it into our house, either.

I guess, if I feel anything sad about aging, it’s that I feel like I haven’t amounted to much and have disappointed other people. But that’s probably a futile and pointless thought, since when it comes down to it, most people are pretty fixated on themselves. So, at this point, it probably doesn’t matter too much. At least I managed to marry well, right? πŸ˜‰

Anyway, if Jill Rodrigues is recovering from a miscarriage, I wish her all the best. And if Meghan Markle is pregnant, I wish her a happy and healthy pregnancy. If these two ladies are just trying to gin up attention, sympathy, and buzz, though, then I wish for them to find good mental health help. That kind of behavior is truly pathetic, and it has far reaching consequences for innocent people.

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condescending twatbags, narcissists, scams, social media, Twitter

Twitter twaddle from the number one twatbag…

DISCLAIMER: Today’s post is going to be kind of snarky and personal, and it may cause some readers to think I’m a terrible person. I don’t really care, because I know I’m not a terrible person. I also don’t care if people think I need to “move on”. I write about this shit because I find it entertaining, and it helps me keep a lot of bizarre things in perspective. I also write about this for those who are in similar circumstances and need hope or insight, and those who just find this tale funny or interesting. This is not a post about all ex wives– it’s just about my situation. So please, if you find yourself judging me for writing this, keep in mind that this post isn’t about you, unless you are Ex. And if that’s the case, you deserve to be upset for your years of abusing my husband and not respecting my privacy. If you are not Ex, but are still upset about this post, you can simply move on, too. I’m not crazy, obsessed, or unstable. I’m just completely flabbergasted by her gall.

We had a really lovely afternoon yesterday. I wrote about it on my travel blog. That post could use some hits, so if you’re at all interested, I’d appreciate a click or two. Now that COVID restrictions are less annoying and onerous, I’m hoping Bill and I can squeeze in some more fun before the cold weather hits us. That usually happens sometime in September in Germany, but given our global warming situation, it may happen later than that.

You may be wondering about today’s post title. I wasn’t actually planning to write about Twitter today, but I saw something and just couldn’t help myself. Twitter is very toxic, but it is fertile ground for blog topics. There are also a lot of posters there, wittier, funnier, and hungrier for attention than I am, who post things that make me think. And then there are those who make me laugh uproariously.

I’ve not made it a secret that I enjoy stalking Ex’s public tweets. I do this now, after years of doing all I could to avoid looking her up. In the past, I wanted to ignore her, because I didn’t want to disrupt my peace with anger toward her antics. So why do I read her posts now? Well, it’s mostly because she’s no longer a threat to me, and I find some of her posts interesting, particularly as I study narcissism. I despise my husband’s ex wife for MANY valid reasons. A lot of them are detailed in this blog, although I don’t think I’m quite as venomous in this blog as I was in my original one on Blogspot. In any case, aside from today’s post title that includes the word “twatbag”, I don’t think I will be overly nasty in this post, as it’s about something relatively trivial. It’s about obvious brown nosing and sycophantism.

I have mentioned before that my husband’s ex wife dropped out of high school when she was a teenager. She got a GED (general equivalency diploma), and then made a few half-assed stabs at higher education, which she never managed to finish while she was still a young woman. I think it was mainly because she had her first child when she was 20 years old, and was married to her first husband when she was still technically a teenager. There was no money or time for higher education, although she did apparently tell everyone that she had won scholarships to prestigious schools. She even told Bill she had been accepted at West Point. Somehow, I find that very hard to believe.

Ex’s first marriage didn’t last very long. She and #1 were posted in Germany at the same time Bill was, back in the late 80s. They all knew each other, as they had gone to the same high school. Bill was three years ahead of Ex. One day, #1 ran into Bill on a flight back to the States. He told Ex that he’d seen Bill, and she decided to look him up. Sadly, she was successful in tracking him down, even though the Internet wasn’t a thing back then. I guess she figured Bill, as an officer, would offer her a nicer lifestyle and more prestige. She certainly doesn’t marry for love.

At some point, Ex showed up at Bill’s apartment in Bavaria, her toddler son in tow. Bill lacked experience with women and self confidence back then, so she easily put the moves on him. They hooked up, and she hastily ditched #1. Then she came back to Germany, and she and Bill later got married in Denmark. Over the next ten years, she was a typical Army wife, having kids, working at dead end jobs, getting involved in MLMs and culty religions, and eventually running up huge debts. Not that running up debts is necessarily something an Army spouse automatically does. For instance, I made a point of getting RID of debt when Bill was still on active duty. I was mostly successful.

Ex did not have a college degree when she and Bill were married. She reportedly used to complain about that a lot. She supposedly told Bill that she was the smarter one of the two of them, and she should be the one with a fancy college degree. You can imagine what I think about that self-evaluation on Ex’s part… (eyeroll)

From late 1999 until mid 2000, Ex was deep in the process of discarding Bill. She didn’t know that Bill and I were online friends. She had moved #3 into the house Bill was still paying mortgage on, and was trying to get Bill’s daughters to forget about their real dad and attach to her latest husband. Around that time, Ex was working at an institution of higher learning, where one of the benefits was free or reduced tuition. She worked there for several years, but it wasn’t until 2006 or so that she finally decided it was time to get EDUCATED. Why? Well, it was probably because of me.

I could be wrong, of course. She might have decided entirely on her own that 2006 was going to be her year to finally get cracking on that college degree. But that decision coincided with an angry email I sent to her in the spring of that year, after then 18 year old former stepson called Bill to tell him he was moving out of his mother’s house and wanted to make sure he would be getting his child support directly. Ex, by contrast, wanted Bill to STOP paying former stepson, because she didn’t want him moving out of her control. Ex was the one who had set up the support agreement in the first fucking place. She literally wrote up their divorce decree, and quite handily screwed herself in the process. πŸ˜‰

During that exchange, things got heated, and Ex sent Bill an email that was full of angry vitriol. In that email, she blamed ME for the fact that things were so terrible between them, and she had felt compelled to alienate the children. A few years earlier, circa 2003 or so, she trashed me to Bill, even though I had then only been married to him for a few months, and she had not then, nor has she ever since, so much as met me in person. I had told Bill a few years prior that if she ever did that again, I would be responding to her. In the 2006 email, she told Bill not to share with me her comments about me, because she hoped to “spare my feelings”. Indeed, I’m sure that was first and foremost in her mind. She also accused Bill of being a sexual deviant, which I can assure you he is not. I decided that she deserved a less measured response than the one Bill would send.

When I wrote to Ex, I pointed out that she had no expertise in diagnosing mental health issues and was not educated in those matters. I, on the other hand, finished my education. Pointing that out to her obviously caused a huge narcissistic wound, as her lack of a college degree had clearly been a thorn in her side for years at that point. I’m sure it bugged the shit out of her that Bill’s #2 wife has THREE degrees, is five years younger than she is… and also has no crotch trophies by other men for Bill to support.

Next thing we knew, she was back in college, and talking about eventually earning a PhD. It was even written about in a local newspaper where she was living at the time. Much to my chagrin, I stumbled across that article by accident. I had been looking for information about traffic stops in their town, because former stepson was arrested for possession of drug paraphernalia (this was public record). I happened to be looking at the time Ex was featured for going back to college. The story, which is included in the previous link, included a lot of bullshit about how she had arrived in that state with nothing but a dream and a few thousand bucks. There was no mention of the huge amount of child support she was faithfully getting from Bill every month for three kids, only two of whom were actually his legal responsibility. Meanwhile, she was telling everyone what an abusive bastard Bill supposedly was, and how he had abandoned her with three kids… even though she was the one who had demanded a divorce!

Ex did earn her degree, and evidently, she supposedly also earned a master’s degree. She went into more debt to achieve this, although she is not using her degree(s) for earning money. Neither am I, of course, but at least we’ve paid off my debts. According to her latest crowdfunding scam, Ex is in a single paycheck household, earned by #3. Apparently, she also still thinks she’s better than she probably is. Because today, I spotted this tweet from Ex to some CEO guy who looks like he’s on a mission to change the world, and the workplace. That has always been a very appealing goal for Ex. Have a look.

Bwahahahahhaa… No Ex. No, you are not anyone’s “girl”. You are a lying, brown nosing disaster with a brown thumb. Everything you touch turns to shit. Also, I’m sure you wouldn’t dare mention that you reportedly lost that job in “higher education” because you allegedly mishandled funds.

I also had a titter at Ex’s next tweet… Her comment is above SiggyRose’s post.

Ex advising anyone to be truthful is especially rich. She is one of the biggest liars and scammers, ever!

I know there are people who would say I shouldn’t care about what Ex tweets. If things had continued the way they were, before Bill got back in touch with his younger daughter, I probably would be trying much harder to ignore her. But, as we found out over the spring, Ex never really lets anyone go. She is not above trying to horn her way back into my husband’s family and trying to take advantage of Bill’s older relatives. It’s worth keeping an eye on her for that reason alone. And again, if you know anything at all about her, watching her antics is quite interesting– both in a funny and horrifying way. She is delusional, manipulative, and completely lacking in any shame whatsoever. I’d probably find her fascinating, even if she wasn’t my husband’s first wife.

But at least today’s topic is more amusing than horrifying. She’s always looking for inroads, trying to claw her way into a sweet situation that might offer fame and fortune, without actually doing the work to achieve it. She wants to win the lottery, but if she ever did, she would squander her winnings in a matter of months. She talks a good game, but the reality is, she’s brimming with shit. And I just feel like I have to keep it all straight before I get completely overcome by the stench of it.

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narcissists, overly helpful people, psychology

“Spanx” for the psyche– when your friends and family members don psychological shapewear…

Almost a month ago, I wrote a blog post about manipulators who insist that they’re straightforward and honest. In that post, I wrote about how I’d seen a meme on social media that really spoke to me. I saved it, and three days later, was presented with a real life situation that pretty much described the wisdom of that truism someone shared on Facebook. I will repost it below for those who don’t want to read the older post.

So true…

Bill and I were talking about this subject again this morning over breakfast. It’s Veteran’s Day, and he’s a veteran, so he’s at home. I asked him if, looking back on his experiences with people who turned out to be toxic and manipulative, if they had started off trying to look like they were “above reproach.” He said they mostly had… and in fact, thought of a few people in my life who had acted that way at first, and then turned out to be controlling, manipulative, deceptive, and underhanded. It’s as if someone designed Spanx for the psyche, put them on, and then tried to sell it to the unsure.

You know what Spanx are, right? Spanx are foundation garments designed to make people appear to be thinner and more shapely than they actually are. While Spanx may make a person look more attractive by compressing and smoothing out those trouble spots, people who wear them are basically hiding their true selves. Just as today’s featured photo implies, that’s all well and good until it’s time to get more intimate. Then, the truth comes out, and you find out if your partner only loves you for the illusion of your β€œperfect” body instead of your personality.

I don’t think shapewear can help me. I am who I am, like it or not. Have you ever noticed that the people who model shapewear don’t actually need to wear it? I think they should get someone who looks like me to model their products. But I don’t want to do it myself… love me, love my fat rolls.

To be clear, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a person covering up their physical flaws if it makes them feel more comfortable with themselves. I do, however, think trouble starts when a person hides their authentic selves with “shapewear for the psyche”. That’s when a person behaves like someone they’re not for the purpose of shaping or manipulating your opinion of them. Then, when you realize who they really are, you find out you were duped. It’s like the person wore psychological Spanx to hide their unsightly ego bulges, sagging virtue, and flabby morals. The next thing you know, you’re wondering if you’re crazy or stupid. Surely this person is as good as they first seemed. You wonder if you’re the problem. But nope… they were just hiding their true selves in psychological shapewear, designed to trick people with an illusion.

This type of behavior is a form of “gaslighting“. According to Medical News Today:

Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person or group makes someone question their sanity, perception of reality, or memories. People experiencing gaslighting often feel confused, anxious, and unable to trust themselves.

A person who comes on strong, and tries hard to make a great first impression on you, is trying to shape your opinion of them. Then, when the behavior changes for the worse, as it always does, you will think back to that initial strong and positive first impression and be more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt. You will wonder if they’re just having a bad day. You will assume that someday, they’ll be that person with the warm, winsome personality who insisted that they are above reproach, and would never lie, cheat, steal, or do anything that isn’t for someone other than themselves. The reality is, they were never that person. They just wanted you to think they were. They want you to second guess yourself as you start to realize that they deceived you.

These folks are the ones who take it upon themselves to set a good example for others to follow. To give a recent and relevant example, there’s a woman I know casually who, when the pandemic was first in the news, made a point of posting pictures of herself wearing face masks while she was hanging out with her friends. She added a “PSA” of sorts about how important face masks are and– oh look!– she’s wearing one! Obviously, she was putting it out there that she’s a “caring” person, and you should try to emulate her. She sacrificed wearing lipstick so we could see her taking one for the team, dutifully wearing her face mask and being an example to all.

Later, I noticed that she deviated somewhat from that initial caring for the masses message she put out on her Facebook page. I got a taste of her control issues and the underhanded ways she tries to rope people in to doing her bidding. I realized that the first impression I got of her was just a facade. The reality is, she was wearing “Spanx for the psyche” and I had bought into that initial false image of her. I don’t think she’s a bad person, per se. I just think she tries to put forth an image that isn’t quite authentic or accurate. I find myself being more careful in my dealings with her.

Looking back, I can think of other people who made dynamite first impressions on me. I came away from meeting them thinking they were amazing. They were cordial, witty, charming, funny, and entertaining. Then, after awhile, the mask slipped, and I realized the first impression was just their version of a sales pitch. They were just trying to sell a false version of themselves so that when their real personality inevitably came out, I might cut them more of a break.

This phenomenon reminds me of that old joke about the man who visited Heaven and Hell to see where he’d like to spend eternity. Heaven is quiet, serene, beautiful, and comfortable. Hell looks like a raucous party, with sexy people having a blast with endless games. The man likes how Heaven looks, but ultimately chooses Hell, because it looks like it would be more fun. Then, when he shows up on this first day of eternity, he sees how miserable and awful Hell really is. He asks the demon who is showing him around what happened to the fun version of Hell he’d seen. The demon says, “Yesterday, we were recruiting you. Today, you’re committed.”

It’s easier in hindsight to acknowledge that sometimes people cover up who they really are. When you’re actually meeting them for the first time, it may not occur to you that they would be deceptive about their real selves. Most of us want to give people a chance, and try to see at least some good in others, especially when we first meet them. That’s kind of what our culture teaches us. If we let a negative impression cross our minds, we might hear the stern reproaches of someone from the past, chastising us for being “prejudicial”. However, I have found that that initial gut impression is often correct. There have been many times when I’ve regretted not heeding that impression. Because, once the more “intimate” part of a relationship begins, and the “Spanx for the psyche” is peeled off, the real ugliness sets in… and the person tries to sell that fake version of themselves again. I’m left wondering if I’m crazy or they’re just lying to me.

I’ve often discovered that people who need “psychological Spanx” also tend to be surface acquaintances. They aren’t interested in getting to know other people as much as they want some dirt on them so they can use it to their advantage at some point. Most of the fake people I’ve known are much more concerned about their reputations and images than they are in forming solid and honest relationships with other people. They’re more worried about how they look to others than they are in caring for friends and loved ones who have already committed to them. They don’t value deep relationships; they just want people to submit to their control tactics. Once someone is on the hook as a supporter, they aren’t going to go to the effort of covering up their flaws anymore. And if that’s not acceptable to you, the person who was duped, they’ll make it painful for you to object.

It’s kind of like when we first met our ex landlady. She tried hard to present herself as caring, understanding, and decent. But there were a number of signs that she was being deceptive. We chose to ignore them, even though I know I picked up on the signals from the first meeting. Her words and actions weren’t congruent. And later, after we heard many assurances from her about what a good and responsible person she is, she became the worst landlady we’ve ever had the displeasure of dealing with. Over the course of our relationship with her, she made a number of external improvements to the house, but they were mostly cosmetic and meant to make the house more appealing to people on the street. She couldn’t have cared less about the comfort and convenience of the people who actually lived in the house and paid rent to her. That’s why she replaced the driveway and put up a flimsy fence instead of replacing the weird toilet that repeatedly backed up and required her husband to give me a tutorial. That’s also why she didn’t get rid of the disgusting carpet that reeked of cat piss. People on the street can’t see those things and don’t have to deal with them. But tenants have a contract, and are subjected to seeing her as she really is when things go wrong.

I have also seen how these types of people, when they have a commitment with others in their lives, feel free to mistreat them. I always pity people who are born to manipulative liars. It’s much easier to get away from someone who is a not a close blood relative. When it’s your parent or sibling, the stakes are much higher, and people tend to tolerate their bad behavior for longer. Then, when they can’t take it anymore, other people judge them for escaping the clutches of their tormentors. More often than not, the judgmental folks have only seen the charming, appealing, “psychological Spanx” wearing versions of the relative who is being abusive. They haven’t see them when the Spanx come off and the person lets everything unattractive about their true selves hang out.

Now… I’m not saying that it’s wrong for a person to try to make a good first impression. To some extent, most of us try to do that. What I am saying is that when a person tries too hard, or, when you first meet them, they insist that they’re “good, honest people” who never have problems with others, that’s a red flag. Nine times out of ten, they’re going to turn out to be the opposite of what they claimed to be. Or, at the very least, you’re going to find out that they aren’t authentic.

Authentic people don’t have to tell you how good they are. It shows in the honest way they behave and how they relate to other people. They don’t need “psychological Spanx”, because their personalities are naturally attractive. It’s possible to meet someone who is lovely and that’s who they really are. Usually, those types of people don’t give you a bad feeling. You don’t have that little voice in your head, warning you. The authentically good people don’t need to bowl you over with charm. They have no need to impress. They’re just good people who are real. No psychological Spanx or shapewear required.

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celebrities, YouTube

It’s hilarious that Hilaria Baldwin is big news…

I can’t keep up with the Baldwin brothers and their women… I do remember when Alec Baldwin was married to Kim Basinger. They had their daughter, Ireland, and split up. Then he was in the news for leaving Ireland a hateful phone message when she was about 11 years old.

But Mr. Baldwin is now married to the hilarious Hilaria, who used to be known as Hillary Lynn Hayward-Thomas. She’s in the news because she was outed for faking being from Spain. People are even making videos about it on YouTube.

Very interesting…

And below is a video by Dr. Todd Grande, a very dry, academic chap who speaks about psychological issues. Some people apparently asked him to address Hilaria’s choice to mislead the public into thinking she’s from Spain.

I think it’s interesting that Dr. Grande mentions that she was not popular or famous in any way before she married a movie star, who is many years older than she is.

Now, I haven’t actually spent any time thinking about Mrs. Baldwin, but the videos I’ve caught have kind of piqued my interest. Reading her Wikipedia entry, I’m inclined to believe that maybe Hilaria has some mental health issues. I did read that she had suffered from eating disorders when she was a teenager. It’s entirely possible that she has some co-morbidities with whatever caused her to have eating disorders. Or maybe this is much ado about nothing.

Hilaria would not be the first person trying to be someone she’s not. I seem to remember a lady of Jewish ancestry who was trying to pass as Black recently in the news. Jessica Krug was a professor at George Washington University when she was caught lying about her heritage. And there’s also the case of Rachel Dolezal, a white race activist who claimed to be Black. Ms. Dolezal was “outed” as a faker when her parents broke the news about her real origins.

Hilaria Baldwin, however, seems to have claimed to be Spanish based on spurious connections. She’d traveled there many times, and had a family member living there. For that reason, she’s got the right to be Spanish? Seems a little flaky to me. But I don’t really care, either way. She’s not someone I follow closely. I just think it’s interesting that she thought she could get away with misleading people, to the point at which she was apparently claiming to have been born in Mallorca. The first video I posted is especially intriguing, since the guy who made it actually has clips of Alec Baldwin saying on camera that his wife is a native of Spain. Alec Baldwin has been around for awhile. Did he really think people wouldn’t discover the discrepancy?

A lot of people are claiming she’s guilty of cultural appropriation… Hilaria wants to know who is harmed by her claim of being “Spanish”? Interesting question. 23andMe is currently claiming that I have Spanish ancestry, too. But they’ve done that before and taken away that designation, only to add it again. So who really knows? If you’re an American, there’s a good chance you’re really a mutt, anyway.

I’m just writing this to avoid writing about other things. By now, you know what they are. πŸ˜‰

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