blog news, movies, stupid people

“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son…”

This classic quote from Animal House is on my mind as I slog through my latest book…

Happy Friday, everybody. I’ve decided to get a late start today because I wasn’t feeling very well this morning. I had a really bad coughing fit, due to my recent cold, that led to vomiting and, eventually, taking some cough syrup that knocked me out for awhile. In between sleeping off the effects of the cough syrup, I’ve been reading a book that has been waiting to be read for some time.

I’m sorry to report that the book I’m reading is not very good. The forthcoming review will probably be kind of brutal, and perhaps a bit funny. I don’t know when I’ll get to it. I hope it’ll be soon, because I’m ready to read something of much higher quality. The book is mostly about a guy who worked on a cruise ship and spent most of his time drunk and slacking off work, as he had sex with as many women as possible. While that may sound like a good time to a lot of people, to me it just comes off as really sad. I don’t think the guy in the book is fat, but he is pretty drunk and stupid a lot of the time.

Anyway, it’s Friday, and I haven’t gotten much done today, other than some reading and sleeping. I guess I’ll take Noyzi for a walk. It might help me feel a bit better. It’s been raining all morning, though, so the idea of going outside hasn’t been particularly appealing.

Given the low hit count on this week’s posts, and the lack of comments, I figure it doesn’t matter if I post less often or later in the day. Especially if I’m feeling kind of yucky, like I was this morning.

I know there’s a lot of depressing stuff I could write about today… another mass shooting, the potential for war in Palestine, and the fact that the new Speaker of the House is an absolutely batshit MAGA Republican motherfucker who has insane ideas about where to lead the country. But I just don’t feel like it today… today, I want to be like my post title and just kind of goof off. So that’s what I’m going to do.

Maybe tomorrow, I’ll be ready to review this crappy book I’ve been reading. I know I could quit reading it and move on to something else, but years of writing book reviews on Epinions.com has trained me to keep going if I intend to review a book. So I’m going to take one for the team.

It’s possible I’ll perk up later and write something else, if I’m inspired… but I wouldn’t bet on it. I just don’t see the point.

Ciao!

Standard
complaints

“I’m having trouble connecting to the Internet…”

Sometimes Siri says that to me when our Internet is dodgy, as it often is.

Alas… this morning, I feel the same way. Last night, I made the mistake of finishing off some brandy. There wasn’t much of it left, but the bottle was taking up needed space on our booze cart. I decided to kill it, so I could reallocate the precious booze cart real estate. Now, I fear, it might be killing me. I feel pretty crappy today.

In retrospect, I probably should have just dumped the last of the brandy down the sink. I think that specific bottle came from a bad batch.

On the occasions I’ve enjoyed it, I’ve woken up feeling unusually terrible, even when I haven’t had much of it. This is not a normal reaction for me, because I’m a seasoned drinker. That particular brandy is a favorite of mine, too, and I’ve never had this severe reaction when I’ve had it before.

Anyway… because I feel yucky today, I don’t feel much like writing anything of substance. The good news is, I do feel much better than I did a couple of hours ago. My head is not quite so achy and my stomach is a bit less distressed than it was when I first got up. Maybe I might soon even be able to face the idea of swallowing a pill without hurling, so I can do something about my acid indigestion.

I don’t need anybody’s sympathy. I should have known and done better. I know it would be best for my health if I became a teetotaler. On the other hand, I don’t want to live to be old, anyway. I’ve seen what happens to the elderly. It’s not pretty.

The good news is, at least that bottle is gone now. I won’t be buying more of that stuff anytime soon.

Standard
dogs, emergencies, home

I went all Granny T last night…

Last night, I was sitting in the dark living room, working on the latest jigsaw puzzle. Suddenly, I heard Bill, and he sounded concerned.

“Arran, come here. You can’t have that nut!” he said.

Arran, who celebrated his ninth anniversary as our devoted family member yesterday, came running into the living room. He was clearly in distress. Bill was grabbing him around the stomach. It looked almost like Arran was choking on something, but I could tell he was breathing.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“He’s got a walnut in his mouth.” Bill said. Apparently, Arran had found an unshelled nut somewhere mysterious, broke it open with his teeth, and half of it was stuck on a molar. The other half, thank God, was in his bed. Walnuts are not really safe foods for dogs for a number of reasons.

“Oh my God!” I said.

Next thing I knew, my fingers were in Arran’s mouth, feeling around for the nut, which I thought was already halfway down his gullet. Vision of his sudden death flashed in my head as my fingers came out of his mouth, unsuccessful. I noticed splotches of blood on his right front paw, which he’d been using to frantically paw at his mouth, trying to get the walnut out.

I reached into his mouth again, determined to get the nut. I felt it stuck on his tooth. Somehow, I managed to grasp it and pull it out. It was all bloody, having cut the fragile gum tissue.

For a few minutes, all three of us were shellshocked by the sudden emergency. Bill had tears in his eyes as he comforted Arran, who was still scared and bewildered. I suddenly had a vision of my grandmother, Granny Tolley, who had a history of saving the day whenever one of her descendants got in trouble. I remember stories of Granny grabbing hatchets to kill snakes or break kids out of locked bathrooms. Granny died in July 2007, about six weeks shy of her 101st birthday. She was a tough lady.

After a few minutes, we were all a bit calmer, and Arran was back to sniffing the kitchen floor, hoping to find something edible that was dropped. He was perfectly fine within twenty minutes or so, but Bill and I were still a little bit shook up. Arran is about 13 years old, and it looks like he will be the dog who will have the longest tenure with us.

Our dog, Zane, died just a couple of months before what would have been his tenth “gotcha day” anniversary with us. But we got Zane when he was younger, and he had more health problems than Arran has ever had. Zane was a ray of sunshine, but he was fragile, suffering allergies and three years of mast cell tumors before finally succumbing to lymphoma.

I don’t think Arran was in any danger of dying last night, as the walnut wasn’t lodged in his windpipe or throat. But it was definitely a scary situation. I was kind of pleased with myself for jumping in and helping him out. As for how Arran got the walnut, I don’t know… I think he might have found it in the backyard. We lost a tree last weekend, and it’s still lying in the backyard, waiting for better weather and “processing”. I think the tree’s fall has unearthed some stuff.

As for Noyzi… he missed the entire drama. He usually hangs out in his bed upstairs in the evenings, except when we’re eating. Even then, he shows up fashionably late, sometimes even after we’ve already finished eating. He goes outside, does a few frenetic poop runs, tends to business, drinks a shitload of water, then puts himself to bed. Lately, Noyzi has had some pretty disgusting diarrhea, so that’s been fun… especially with the muddy backyard. I’ve been giving him pumpkin to help bind his poop.

As I write this, both dogs have come into the office, begging for attention and a walk. It’s cloudy outside and I’m a little depressed. I’m tempted to stay in my cocoon… but I guess it would do us all good to take a walk and get some air. Maybe it will motivate me to do my much hated Thursday chore of vacuuming, and pick up my guitar for some practice.

Last week, I was inspired to record my version of “Will You Love Me Tomorrow.” It turned out nicely, although it doesn’t have many hits. On that video, I used a lot of pictures of my dogs, who keep me sane. I noticed the YouTube guy I’ve been doing collaborations with did a version of the same song a few hours ago. I guess he was inspired.

Sometimes I feel like my dogs are my only real friends. I’m sure glad Bill and I were able to dislodge that walnut before Arran got really hurt. I’d like to keep Arran around for as long as possible. He’s such a sweet, loving, gentle dog, and he shows us every day how much he loves us. We love him right back.

If I get inspired to write again, maybe I’ll be back… but I’m feeling a little depressed today. It might be a day for reading and napping.

ETA: I just vacuumed the house, and when I went downstairs to put the vacuum away, Arran had managed to pull a small bag of treats off the counter and was trying to suck them down. Fortunately, he wasn’t successful. I guess he’s fine. Good thing these dogs are so loving and cute.

Standard