Duggars, narcissists, Reality TV, religion

Time to binge watch Shiny Happy People on Amazon…

It turns out Amazon’s new docuseries, Shiny Happy People: Duggar Family Secrets is available on Amazon.de, which is good news. That means I can watch it on my television. But, because I want to do some writing and other stuff, I will watch it on my laptop and use my handy new Mini Pod speakers. As I wrote yesterday, I wish I didn’t care about the Duggars… but I actually think people should pay close attention to them. There are a lot of non-famous people in the United States who would love nothing more than to see conservative, white, Republican, pro-life, pro-gun, fundie Christians running the country. And one of the reasons they have such humongous families is so there are higher numbers of people like them, voting for people like them. So, I think those of us who are more “mainstream” in our ways should pay close attention.

Jim Bob Duggar is not too pleased about the docuseries. He and his wife, Michelle, have issued a statement on Instagram. See below…

I find it interesting that Jim Bob is so concerned about his privacy now, when he worked so hard to keep his reality show on TLC (The Learning Channel) for so long, even after his eldest child, Josh, was outed as a sex pest. And Jim Bob pushed for creating his show, 17, 18, and 19 Kids and Counting, even when he knew that Josh had this disturbing past.

It’s now common knowledge that, back in 2002 or so, when Josh was about 14 years old, he molested four of his sisters and a babysitter. One of his victims was just five years old at the time. Josh was, himself, a child when this happened, so his parents were obligated to do something to help him with his problems. They did eventually take action, but what they did was completely ineffective, as later results shave shown.

Life went on, and for a time, Josh Duggar was even betrothed to Jim Bob’s best friend’s daughter, Kaeleigh Holt. Jim Bob and Michelle eventually told the Holts about Josh’s issues. Their solution was to have Josh lectured by an off duty cop, shave his head, and be sent away to do hard labor for a family friend. There was no consultation with a mental health professional, nor were there any legal consequences. Later, when the relationship with Kaeleigh fell apart, the Duggars simply glossed over it, and went on with their show, for which they became world famous. Jim Bob had the added benefit of also becoming very wealthy, but he did not share his new wealth with his children, who were the real stars of the show.

In 2015, the old business regarding Josh’s sexually abusive past was revealed to the masses, in a huge bombshell that dominated headlines for weeks. When this news hit the airwaves, the Duggars were still very popular. 19 Kids and Counting was still going strong. The eldest children were being married off and having children of their own. Their lavish weddings were shown on the show, and they went on fancy honeymoons in exotic locations. Josiah Duggar had just announced a “courtship” (dating with the intention of eventual marriage) with Marjorie Jackson. In the wake of the scandal, that courtship fell apart. Josiah went on to marry Lauren Swanson.

Jim Bob and Michelle try very hard to do damage control… along with Jill and Jessa, two of Josh’s victims, who were pretty much forced to say they forgave their brother for the terrible things he did.

Jim Bob and Michelle went on Fox News, where they were interviewed by Megyn Kelly. I remember watching that interview in May 2015, thinking that they were lying through their teeth. I even wrote about it in my original blog. They claimed Josh was a changed person after their “treatment”. But, of course, he wasn’t. In November 2019, the Department of Homeland Security raided Josh’s business. News came out about how Josh had paid a sex worker for a private lap dance, and had very rough sex with her. The sex worker, Danica Dillon, eventually sued Josh, although the suit was later dropped. Josh also had a secret Ashley Madison account. Ashley Madison is a website where married people pay to find others who are willing to have affairs. All the while, Josh’s long suffering wife, Anna, who bore him seven children, stood by his side… even as he was led away in handcuffs after being convicted of sex crimes against children.

When it became clear that the public still wanted to watch the Duggars, TLC and Jim Bob came up with a new concept. The spin off was originally called Jill and Jessa Counting On, which was supposed to be about Jill Dillard’s and Jessa Seewald’s married lives. But then, as more Duggar “kids” got married, they were included in the show, and then Jill and her husband, Derick, dropped out of the program. It was retitled Counting On, and went on for several seasons. The spinoff was finally canceled in June 2021, in the midst of Josh Duggar’s legal woes. Josh was sentenced to about twelve years in federal prison after being convicted of receiving and possessing child pornography.

So… all of this stuff is already very public, but this new series kind of condenses the whole thing into more salacious entertainment. This is pretty much what Jim Bob did when he agreed to put his family on TV. Only now, he’s no longer in control of the final product, and all of that stuff that he willingly put out, is now being used against him. Television is a sword that cuts both ways.

I think Jim Bob’s reputation is pretty much shot now. I guess it’s understandable that he would issue a statement pleading for privacy. However, he can’t think that his pleas are going to be taken seriously. For years, he was all over TLC, openly advertising Bill Gothard’s fundie ways to the world, trying to make it seem like an idyllic, wholesome, squeaky clean way to raise families. He influenced countless people to follow his lead and join a very damaging cult. And NOW, he wants privacy!

I have already watched the first episode of this docuseries. It’s exciting to see the people involved in this series, to include Heather Grace Heath, whose excellent book, Lovingly Abused, I read and reviewed in December 2021. Jill Duggar Dillard and her husband, Derick, are on the series, as is Jen from Fundie Fridays, a YouTube channel I have been enjoying for some time now. I understand that Katie Joy, from Without a Crystal Ball, was also contacted about being on the series. However, she does not appear on the program. I know she’s a controversial figure, and there has been some speculation about why she’s not involved in this series. However, I’m not involved in any drama regarding Katie Joy, and I have no personal beef with her. So I’m just going to say that she’s not on the show, and I don’t specifically know why. I can only speculate, which I won’t do in this post.

Jim Bob Duggar was paid millions of dollars for showcasing his massive family, and being a living billboard for the Institute in Basic Life Principles, a fundamentalist Christian sect founded by Bill Gothard. Gothard never married or had children, but he expected his followers to marry and have huge broods. Additionally, Bill Gothard had a certain way he preferred the girls in his movement to look. He liked girls with long, curly hair. So, years after perms went out of style, the Duggar girls and their ilk were perming their long hair, so they could please their cult leader, Bill Gothard.

I am probably so interested in learning more about the IBLP and Bill Gothard because I’m interested in cults. I’m not just interested in big, established cults, though. I’m also interested in mini-cults… those within families. Cult leaders are usually narcissists, and they typically behave in telltale ways. My husband’s ex wife, for instance, is kind of like a cult leader within her own family system. When her children were young, she controlled every aspect of their lives and refused to allow them to be influenced by anyone above her. That meant that when her relationships with their fathers fell apart, the kids were expected to take her side. If she had her way, they’d never leave her home or her sphere of influence. But it’s not because she loves them so much. It’s because she craves absolute control, and she sees other people as tools.

When the kids were young, there was a facade presented that indicated that the kids were “happy” (although we had our doubts). Now, we are hearing that actually, things were pretty bad, and there was a lot of lying going on, to present a certain image. Listening to Jill Dillard now, I can see that she went through a similar dynamic. Yes, when she went on Megyn Kelly’s show on Fox News, she was lying… Lying for her father, to preserve the show and her connection to her family… But she didn’t feel good about it, and now she is openly stating that it was all a lie, that didn’t turn out to be enough to save the family’s tarnished reputation.

I see people like Jim Bob Duggar as mini-cult leaders. Look at how Jim Bob has managed to keep so many of his children under his control, even though they are adults. And most of them don’t seem to realize that he’s controlling them so much. He uses the prospect of being cast out and ostracized as a means of controlling his children… to include their spouses and their children. Because they don’t get adequate educations, it’s hard for the children to break away. Heather Heath’s book addresses this issue, as does Tara Westover’s book, Educated. Westover was raised Mormon, as were Bill’s daughters. Not all Mormons are like Westover’s parents were, just like not all Christians are like the Duggars. But these are just examples of people who use extremist religions as means of keeping a viselike grip on their children, forcing them to stay trapped in their cults and continuing the indoctrination with their own children.

The second episode of Shiny Happy People includes a horrifying segment on how children in the IBLP are disciplined. At one point, a pastor demonstrates how to spank a child. A little boy comes up to the pulpit as the pastor pretends to spank him. Then afterwards, the boy is forced to give the pastor a hug. When the hug isn’t good enough, the pastor admonishes him and says he needs another spanking, which he delivers. Children in this movement are not allowed to move or defend themselves when they are receiving corporal punishment. They are expected to remain still, as this “discipline” is for their own good. Then, they are supposed to be “grateful” for the correction, even if it’s extremely traumatizing.

As if that wasn’t sick enough, the show also includes clips of lessons given by Michael and Debi Pearl, authors of the book, To Train Up A Child. This book is very popular and well known within the fundie Christian community. It’s basically all about how to beat your children, and they provide very explicit directions on which implements to use. The Pearls are extremely abusive, in my opinion. My father was a spanker, but he used his hand, and basically did it when he was very angry (not that that’s the best time to spank, either). I wasn’t forced to hug him or tell him I loved him after he hit me. And he didn’t use dowels or glue sticks.

There’s also discussion about how women in the IBLP are expected to just accept whatever man shows up and says he wants her… as long as her father approves, of course. As I mentioned up post, Josh Duggar was originally supposed to marry Kaeleigh Holt, eldest of Jim and Bobye Holt’s eleven children. This pairing was decided when both Josh and Kaeleigh were teenagers. When that fell apart, he ended up with Anna Keller. They were married when they were both about 20 years old. They now have seven children. Anna has all of Josh’s kids, and obviously made herself “joyfully available” to her husband. But that wasn’t enough. He still cheated on her and consumed illegal porn. Meanwhile, Anna had to present a perfect, happy image to the world, often while pregnant and on television.

It amazes me that the Duggars were able to keep up their facade for as long as they did. Jim Bob is “pleading” for privacy, and yet he’s the one who put all of that stuff out there in the first place. People love to see people fall off of pedestals, especially when they are as sanctimonious and smarmy as Jim Bob is. So… I suspect that things are going to be harder for Jim Bob and Michelle. I am sorry for their innocent children and grandchildren. I especially feel sorry for Josh’s kids, who will have to live with the stigma of their infamous father for the rest of their lives. I hope they can escape the cult and raise their children in a better way.

I’ll probably write about this tomorrow, after I finish the last two episodes. For now, I think I’ll end this post. It’s already pretty long. Hope you have a great Friday.

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celebrities, Duggars, healthcare, religion, YouTube

Why is the Internet freaking out over Jessa Seewald’s miscarriage?

This morning, I’ve watched two videos about Jessa Duggar Seewald, and her recent miscarriage at 12 weeks gestation. I wasn’t going to comment on this, but now that I’ve seen the videos, I feel compelled to chime in on this controversy.

Jessa’s video. She really has beautiful children.

Jessa, for those who don’t know, is one of the 19 kids who was on 19 Kids and Counting, a defunct reality show on the TLC network that chronicled the lives of JimBob and Michelle Duggar, and their 19 children. In 2014, Jessa married Ben Seewald, and together they have four adorable children– two boys, and two girls. Ben works as a pastor, and Jessa makes YouTube videos. Recently, she made one about losing her latest pregnancy over the holidays. After she had her miscarriage, she had a dilation and curettage procedure, popularly known as a D&C. This is the same procedure some people have when they have abortions. Miscarriage is, in fact, known in medical parlance as a “spontaneous abortion”.

In the wake of Jessa’s news, a lot of people on the Internet have been freaking out about the fact that she had a D&C. A number of media outlets have been reporting about Jessa’s miscarriage. I’m no longer on Twitter, but I’ve heard that comments there have been particularly brutal, with many pro choice activists figuratively shrieking that Jessa did, in fact, have an abortion.

And yet, in the past, Jessa has publicly compared abortion to a “Baby Holocaust”, implying that people who seek abortion care are Nazis. Naturally, people were outraged by the comparison and haven’t forgotten that she said that. In fairness to Jessa, though, she said it in 2014, a year after her mother, Michelle, also said it at a pro-life rally in Texas. This was before we all knew about Josh Duggar, and his disgusting sex pest proclivities. At the time, the Duggars were still somewhat respected by some people.

Those of you who read my blog regularly probably already know that I am vehemently pro-choice. I think pregnant people should be allowed to have abortions when they need them. It’s not my business why they might want or need to terminate a pregnancy. I’ve got my own uterus, so I don’t need to mind theirs. And while I’m 50 years old and no longer have to worry about unintended pregnancies, I very much believe in the right to choose whether or not to be pregnant. In “parts passing”, I’ve already explained in detail why I am so much in favor of legalized abortions. It mostly has to do with privacy, but I’ve also seen what happens when people have babies they aren’t ready to raise.

I think Jessa’s previous comments about abortion are repugnant. I completely disagree with her assertion that abortion is akin to a Holocaust. I think that statement demonstrates a stunning lack of understanding or compassion toward what people suffered during the real Holocaust. I also think it reveals a complete dearth of common sense or compassion toward those who need abortion care, regardless of the reasons– some of which are very much medical in origin.

That being stated, I don’t agree with the assertion that Jessa had an elective abortion. She had a medical procedure that can be used to effect an abortion, but it can also be used in other circumstances that don’t involve pregnancy. Moreover, she did not elect to end her pregnancy. She had a “spontaneous abortion”– a miscarriage. And when she had the D&C, she was already losing the pregnancy. Since she has a history of bleeding, doctors determined that waiting for the miscarriage to complete at home would not be a medically sound decision. But make no mistake– the pregnancy was ending, and she would not be having that baby.

I completely understand the outrage surrounding the complete right wing craziness in the United States right now. Over the past few days, I’ve heard about people boycotting Hershey’s chocolate because they used a transgender woman to promote Women’s Day. Hypocritical Tennessee Governor Bill Lee has just signed legislation banning drag shows in Tennessee. And of course, we already know what’s happened to a woman’s right to choose abortion in a number of states. There have been a number of frightening after effects of that change in policy. People are rightfully pissed off about the erosion of women’s rights, as well as those of other communities that have historically been marginalized.

But… accusing Jessa Seewald of having had an elective abortion isn’t truthful or useful. She didn’t have an abortion. She had a D&C, which isn’t always abortion related. Her pregnancy was ending before she had the procedure. And regardless of how one might feel about Jessa’s religious and political beliefs, she’s still a human being. I would not wish a miscarriage on anyone. I’ve never experienced one myself, but I can only try to imagine the grief, especially if the pregnancy was a happy development. It’s just plain wrong to use someone’s miscarriage as a weapon against them.

Both Mama Doctor Jones and Fundie Fridays addressed Jessa’s situation this week. Mama Doctor Jones’s video was entirely about Jessa, while Jen’s Fundie Fridays video addressed Jessa as just part of her commentary on recent Duggar news. Both of these ladies expressed views that I wholeheartedly agree with regarding Jessa’s situation, as well as the need for legalized and private abortion care. I would highly recommend watching both of their videos if you want more information about what happened.

I highly recommend watching the whole video… especially the last minute or so. Mama Doctor Jones sums it up beautifully.
A slightly less sympathetic view than Mama Doctor Jones’s, but still one worth considering.

Yes, it’s true that the procedure Jessa had is being denied to other women who want or even need it, thanks to abortion bans. But being mean to Jessa is not going to change her position on the abortion issue. This is a woman who openly compared abortions to the Holocaust. Anyone capable of making that kind of statement is probably not going to be swayed by Internet outrage. Remember, Jessa was raised in a cult, and her beliefs have been shaped by fundamentalist Christianity. She hasn’t been exposed to a lot of different viewpoints, and in fact, her livelihood literally depends upon promoting strong fundie Christian beliefs. If she started talking about abortion rights, her husband would probably lose his job… and her father would probably disown her. He’s already shown that he’s fully capable of shunning any kids who go against him.

I think the best thing to do is have compassion, grace, and understanding. Indeed, that is what Jesus Christ himself would do. I totally get the furor over the loss of abortion rights, but all being mean to Jessa does is promote the us vs. them mentality. I do hope that Jessa’s experience will plant some seeds of wisdom and perspective within her. Sometimes, pregnant women do need to be able to terminate a pregnancy. They should be able to make that decision without any input from non-involved people, and do what is best for themselves.

Right now, it’s true that women are being refused the healthcare that Jessa was privileged enough to access, and that is a point worth mentioning. But we should do it in a way that reflects kindness, decency, and compassion, not vitriol and outrage. Let’s just keep championing the importance of having the right to choose and healthcare privacy.

So ends today’s sermon… Now to put on some clothes and go out into the world.

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movies, religion, true crime

Jennifer Grey as Gwen Shamblin Lara? Genius!

Now that I’ve gotten my latest editorial out of my system, it’s time for another review of a Lifetime movie. I have written a few reviews of Lifetime movies. If you’re a regular reader, you might already know that, in general, I’m not really a fan of the way Lifetime TV tells stories via its movies. I find that they’re usually heavily watered down and given inappropriate comedic spins, particularly when it comes to true crime. Nevertheless, I decided to watch the Lifetime Movie adaptation of Gwen Shamblin Lara’s life after seeing Jen review it on YouTube’s Fundie Fridays. Below is her excellent review…

I didn’t even know about this until I saw Jen’s video…

Gwen Shamblin Lara, for those who don’t know, is famous for starting her own church after writing a very successful Christian weight loss book in the 1990s. She later got very rich, let success go to her head, and died before her natural time in May 2021, when Gwen’s second husband, Joe Lara, crashed the plane he was piloting when Gwen and her entourage in it. Gwen’s church was notable, as it focused a lot on image and weight loss. It was also notable for its emphasis on the so-called importance of physically disciplining children. I wrote about Gwen Shamblin Lara’s championing of using glue sticks in corporal punishment sessions. You can read that post here.

The Lifetime TV movie about Gwen Shamblin Lara is called Starving for Salvation. It stars Jennifer Grey as Gwen. Yes, Jennifer Grey, as in the very same one who played Frances “Baby” Houseman in Dirty Dancing, back in 1987. She is unrecognizable in this movie about a weight loss guru. Mad props to the hair and makeup crew, as well as the wardrobe professionals, for making Grey into such an incredibly realistic replica of the real person. But not only did Jennifer Grey look the part, she also sounded like she was born and raised in Tennessee, which is where Gwen was from. I really thought she did a great job in this movie, especially given that it’s a Lifetime production.

The story itself, as presented by Lifetime, is typically pretty watered down. Remember, it’s a cable TV channel putting this together, and they have time constraints, viewers, and advertisers to appease, so they can’t be too graphic about what they present to the masses. I suspect the real story behind the Remnant Fellowship Church is a lot weirder and disturbing than what is presented in Lifetime’s film, which is typically campy.

Remember, Josef Smith, a young boy, died because his parents followed Gwen’s discipline advice. Josef and Sonya Smith, the boy’s parents, are now sitting in prison in Georgia, having both been sentenced to life plus thirty years on February 12, 2007, which would have been the younger Josef’s 12th birthday. In the movie, this notorious and horrifying incident is a bit glossed over, because there’s a lot of ground to cover in the time allotted for the movie. I found Jennifer Grey’s performance entertaining enough that I wonder if this movie shouldn’t have been a two part miniseries. I bet people would have watched it.

Gwen Shamblin Lara apparently suffered from eating disorders. I will not say that she definitely did, since I’m not a doctor, but I do think the signs and symptoms were all there. I saw clips of her preaching, wearing dresses that were obviously way too big for her. According to the Lifetime treatment of Gwen’s story, Gwen went from being a sweet, demure Christian lady who taught college to a megalomaniacal religious wingnut. She also tried to force her employees to join her church. It reminds me a little of Dave Ramsey’s organization, that is very intrusive into people’s personal lives.

I know there is a documentary/other movie in the works about Gwen Shamblin Lara. I will try to watch it if I can, but what I’d really like to see is a very well researched book about her… one that doesn’t water down or sugar coat anything.

Anyway, as Lifetime movies go, Starving for Salvation is pretty decent. I even watched it on my computer, rather than Apple TV (which is giving me errors on new content). I couldn’t wait for the issue to be fixed before I saw the movie. People are obviously looking for comments about Grey’s turn as the weight loss “prophetess” (as they called her in the movie).

I also highly recommend watching Fundie Fridays’ review of this movie, which goes into a lot more detail than mine does. This is obviously a very campy treatment of the story… and some people might find it disrespectful. I did see one person who was involved in the church commenting on Jen’s review. The person said that movies like this cheapen the terrible experiences Gwen’s victims had. That may be true… but let’s face it, Gwen was a pretty bizarre character, and movies about such people are often entertaining as hell.

I’ll keep my eyes peeled for a book that gives this story a more serious treatment. In the meantime, I would recommend this movie, especially if you want to be entertained. Just don’t think too hard about what the victims endured.

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book reviews, religion

A review of Kate Bowler’s The Preacher’s Wife: The Precarious Power of Evangelical Women Celebrities…

I don’t remember what prompted me to download Kate Bowler’s 2019 book, The Preacher’s Wife: The Precarious Power of Evangelical Women Celebrities. Maybe someone in the Duggar Family News recommended it. Or maybe I saw something about it on YouTube. I imagine Jen of Fundie Fridays could have suggested this well-written and researched book about the wives of high powered evangelical leaders like Joel Osteen and his ilk, and women who are high ranking evangelical leaders themselves, like Paula White-Cain and Juanita Bynum. In any case, Amazon tells me I bought this book in July 2022. I just finished reading it this morning, and that seems fortuitous, as it’s Sunday– the Lord’s day. 😉

I have never been a very religious person myself, although I grew up going to the local Presbyterian church. I do come from a very Christian family, with musical parents who were avid churchgoers, although church was never a family affair for me. My mom was always the organist at some church, so she never sat with the family. My dad was always in the choir. My sisters are much older than I was and out of the house for much of my childhood. Consequently, although I was compelled to go to church, and even had a job working at a church camp for two summers, I have never been particularly devout.

However, even though I’m not much of a Christian, I do find religion interesting. For over half of my childhood, I lived in Gloucester, Virginia, a once rural county about an hour’s drive from Pat Robertson’s Christian mecca, Virginia Beach, Virginia. I watched a lot of television in the 80s, and back then, we had independent Channel 27, WYAH, which was owned by Robertson, who also owned the Christian Broadcasting Network cable channel. Because Channel 27 was owned by a Christian evangelical leader, a lot of religious programming was aired. I would occasionally watch some of the shows, mainly getting a kick out of the over-the-top televangelists and local programs. For example, the late John Gimenez and his wife, Anne, of The Rock Church in Virginia Beach used to air their services every Saturday night on Channel 27. I would watch in amazement, as the church had a full band, complete with electric guitars and keyboards, and Gimenez would dance and sing. This was not something I had ever seen in my very conservative whitebread Presbyterian church, which was quite traditional, and at least for me, as a child, extremely boring.

As time went on, religion became more polarized… and polarizing. I noticed extremes on both ends. It seemed like a lot of people were abandoning traditional “boring” churches for megachurches or fringe religions. Or they were going atheist, or embracing non-Christian faiths. I started noticing a lot more mainstream programming on television, like Joel Osteen’s broadcasts from his Lakewood Church. When we were living in the States, it was a rare Sunday morning that we didn’t catch at least part of his show– lots of feel good prosperity platitudes from the Houston Astrodome, his gorgeous wife, Victoria, at his side.

In her book, The Preacher’s Wife, Kate Bowler explores the women who are married to famous celebrity evangelical church leading men. After all, even though they aren’t typically the ones leading the church– as many religions require that men do the leading– the women are often the ones prodding their husbands to go to church, rather than staying home and watching sports or doing chores. Bowler rightly points out that the wives of church leaders are role models to the women and girls of congregations. They are expected to lead by example, and sometimes they even get involved with actual leadership roles. For example, Bowler writes about how, as Joel Osteen delivers his folksy, feel good sermons, Victoria follows up by imploring people in the 40,000 strong congregation, as well as those watching at home, to support the ministry with “love gifts”.

I shouldn’t be surprised by the quality of Bowler’s work, by the way, or the comprehensive scope of her research. She has a PhD, teaches at Duke University, and has written several well-regarded and top selling books. The Preacher’s Wife is her third book exploring the “prosperity gospel”, and how it’s used to sell faith based lies to a public desperate to believe. She can also be found on YouTube. Below is Kate Bowler’s TED Talk, which was very well received, as it accompanied her first book by the same title, Everything Happens for a Reason– and Other Lies I’ve Loved.

Kate Bowler is well worth noticing.

I was impressed by the scope of women Bowler profiled in The Preacher’s Wife. Yes, she mentions people like Ruth Peale, wife of Norman Vincent Peale– and parents of the man who taught my philosophy class at Longwood College (now University) in the 1990s. Ruth Graham also gets some discussion, as does the daughter of Ruth and Billy Graham, Anne Graham Lotz, who was arguably the most talented preacher of the Graham parents’ brood, but did not inherit the ministry because she’s a woman. But Bowler also writes of Paula Stone Williams, a well-known pastoral counselor who started out life as Paul Williams, and later transitioned to a woman. I’m sorry to say that before I read Bowler’s book, I had never heard of Paula Stone Williams, but I’m now listening to her TED Talk. She’s a great speaker, and I have Bowler’s book to thank for letting me know she exists.

Paula Stone Williams speaks about her experiences as a transgender woman.

This book is not about religion, per se, but it is about the business of religion. And make no mistake about it, today’s religion is very much a business. Bowler writes about how some of today’s megachurches have fashion shows, where congregants can shop for the beautiful dresses or statement necklaces worn by the “preacher’s wife”, who is often perfectly coiffed, manicured, and dressed to the nines. She includes photos of flyers for makeovers sponsored by churches, where makeup and fashion experts mix the proper Christian beauty image with Bible verses. But she also includes discussion of Christian leaders like Liz Curtis Higgs, who promote forgiveness, grace, and acceptance, even if they wear a size 22 dress.

I would not recommend this book to anyone looking for devotions or encouragement. That’s not what this book is about– it’s not meant for preachers’ wives who need to be uplifted. Rather, The Preacher’s Wife is more of a secular expose of powerful, influential, and frequently wealthy women in evangelical circles. Bowler also doesn’t just stick strictly to the wives of the preachers. She also mentions female preachers, like Joyce Meyer, who admitted to having had a facelift to make herself more appealing to her followers, and the late Gwen Shamblin Lara, who famously died last year with her husband, as they flew in their private jet over Nashville. Gwen Shamblin Lara is famous for her Weigh Down Workshop and her church, the Remnant Fellowship.

I will admit that it took some time for me to get through this book. For me, it wasn’t necessarily a page turner. However, when I did sit down for reading sessions, I was impressed by the quality of the writing and research, as well as the broad spectrum of evangelical women who were profiled in this book. There were so many that I’d not heard of before, as well as some who were very familiar to me. And the fact that I am interested enough to look up Liz Curtis Higgs and listen to Paula Stone Williams speaking on YouTube, shows that for me, The Preacher’s Wife was well worth reading. I think it would make an excellent resource for anyone doing academic research on this subject, as well as good reading for smart people who are just interested in what drives the world of evangelical Christianity– particularly those who are rich, powerful, and beamed to us on television and the Internet. This book was an eye opener for me, and I thank Kate Bowler for writing it.

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music, videos, YouTube

Fundie Fridays’ annual Halloween special about the Rodrigues family is hysterical!

And a very good Saturday morning to you, readers, as I recover from watching Fundie Fridays’ latest episode about Jill Rodrigues and her clan of kids. Jill Rodrigues, if you don’t know, is a woman who has big blonde hair and wears tons of makeup. She has a huge passel of children, and makes them sing homophobic songs. She has a sister who is quadriplegic, due to a car accident. Her husband has a brother who is paraplegic, due to a car accident. Her daughter, Nurie, and Nurie’s husband, Nathan Keller (Anna Keller Duggar’s brother), were in a car accident last year with their infant son. None were wearing seatbelts or in the appropriate car seat. So far, they aren’t paralyzed, but Nurie is expecting again.

I could go on and on about the many strange features of Jill Rodrigues and her constant chase of relevance and fame. Luckily, I don’t have to do that, because Jen and James of Fundie Fridays on YouTube have made a hilarious video. I just watched it and, I must say, Jen and James are really upping their games. I am in awe of their talent and courage. It’s not easy for most people to risk being funny, because humor doesn’t always go the way you hope it will. But, at least in my opinion, they really hit the mark with their latest video, which I am linking below.

I am impressed by Fundie Fridays. They keep getting better and better!

I especially howled when she showed the Rodrigues kids swimming in a sewer drain. I mean… yeah, maybe it was fun, but it was still kind of shitty… Today’s featured photo, by the way, is Tim, another Rodrigues kid, doing a fully clothed flip into a canal. Tim is famous for stating that if he weren’t related to his sisters, he’d be dating them, because they are so “Godly”. He’s about 25 years old, and laments that he isn’t married yet. I can’t imagine why… /sarcasm.

Hmmm… he’d date his sisters, and his mother is a fundie shill for Plexus. Attractive qualities in a mate… Seriously, though, I know he means that he thinks his sisters are lovely and “Godly”, and he’d like to find a woman like them. His wording is just a little weird, is all.

I don’t really follow the Rodrigues family at all. What I know about them, I know because I follow the Duggar Family News page and because of Fundie Fridays. I might be inclined to learn about them on my own, especially if I was younger, but since Jen does such a good job on that task herself, I don’t see why I need to add myself to the official snarkers. I’m sure if I did follow, it would only offend and upset me, and I’ve got enough of that going on when I read the news sites. So I will leave it all up to Jen and James, who are brilliant, funny, creative, and informative. And I will occasionally post blogs about them, so you can discover their genius, too. They really do have a lot of fun on their channel, and it’s fun to watch them.

Moving on to another YouTuber I watch sometimes…

This week, I learned that Barney the Dinosaur, that damnable purple demon from Hell out of the early 1990s, has a dark side. Or, rather, the woman who created him, and her son, have dark sides. A week ago today, Dr. Todd Grande’s video, “Did Barney Terrorize Viewers for Years?”, appeared on YouTube. I watched it, and learned new things.

Now, in 1992, when Barney was conquering the world with his moronic song, “I Love You, You Love Me”, I was 20 years old. I was too old for Barney. Even if I had been a child in those days, I would have hated Barney. He was highly annoying. But I didn’t know the history of this… icon… until I watched Dr. Grande’s excellent and informative video a few days ago. It’s all about Barney and Friends, a PBS marvel that captivated so many small children, as well as a few adults.

Now the story CAN be told!

I see from Dr. Grande’s YouTube comments that a lot of people did love Barney when they were very little. He was innocent, uncomplicated, and non threatening. I think my disdain for Barney is due to his annoying voice and weird dance moves. But I guess I can see why small children liked him. I just wasn’t one myself when he was a thing. Maybe it’s the same thing as me loving to watch The Brady Bunch well into middle age. It’s escapism to a simpler time, when problems on TV could be solved in 26 minutes. I’m sure people who loved Barney feel somewhat similarly.

In any case, before I saw this video, I did not know that Barney’s story had a dark side. Now, thanks to Dr. Grande’s reporting and analysis, I know more about how this purple dinosaur came to be, and the people who were behind his creation. It is a very interesting tale, especially given that boy who inspired his mother to dream up Barney, went on to a life of crime. You should watch the video for the lowdown on that story.

I’m grateful to Todd Grande and Fundie Fridays, for giving me something to watch besides anti-Trump political rants, analyses of Meghan Markle’s obvious narcissism, and bodycam videos by cops. It’s obvious to me that Dr. Grande and Fundie Fridays are throwing some shade, which is to be expected when one becomes “popular” in any form of media.

And finally…

A couple of days ago, while Bill was still gone, my Aunt Gayle sent me the lyrics to the beautiful song, “Bill”, from the musical, Show Boat. I don’t think she realized that I knew and loved the song, but she obviously could see how the lyrics would fit my own perspective. “Bill” is a song about a plain, everyday guy, who doesn’t seem impressive on the outside, but is actually quite wonderful. I don’t totally agree with the song’s lyrics. For instance, I am often impressed by my Bill’s brain. And I would never sit on Bill’s knees, because I would hurt him if I did that. But yes– the song rings true to me. So I decided to do it. Here’s MY YouTube video… in which I don’t opine or speak or show my face, other than in pictures. It may still provoke controversy, but at least it’s a nice tribute to my husband, who is “just my Bill”.

This is a cool photo, because you can’t tell that I’m missing a tooth. This was taken after I had a baby tooth pulled, and not long before I had my implant put in. I still have a baby tooth that will probably need to be replaced with an implant at some point.

Our 20th wedding anniversary is next month, so I’ll probably make another video for that. But this was a nice song to try. We’ll see how long it lasts, and how many hits it gets. But I don’t make videos for hits. I just like to sing, and that’s my outlet. If other people enjoy my efforts, that’s a nice bonus.

Condolences, by the way, to Carly Simon, who lost both of her sisters this week within a day of each other. Oldest sister, Joanna, was 85 years old and had been fighting thyroid cancer. Next oldest sister, Lucy, had been battling breast cancer for a long time before succumbing at age 82. Carly, herself, has had breast cancer. And the youngest sibling, Peter, died in 2018 at age 71 of a cardiac arrest, but he, too, had cancer. That damnable illness is EVERYWHERE.

Well, I think that about does it for today’s post. Hope you all have a fabulous day. The sun is out here, so maybe if Arran isn’t feeling too icky, we’ll go out for a while and look for some nice fall foliage.

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