law, modern problems, politics, true crime

Do I even want to go “home” again?

The featured photo was taken on May 18, 2014, when Bill and I took a last Space A Hop to Germany, ahead of his military retirement. At the time, we didn’t know we’d be coming back to live in Germany just weeks later. We’re still here… and we no longer really want to go back “home” again. It definitely gives me some empathy and a unique perspective toward people who flee other countries for the United States…

Today is the one year anniversary of the death of an old Peace Corps friend of mine. I wrote about Matt last year, a few days after I found out about how he was senselessly killed by a reckless driver in Brooklyn, New York. Matt Jensen was a very special person. He had dedicated his life to teaching English as a foreign language, and students of all ages benefited from his natural acumen in the classroom. Matt was born to teach, and he had loads of charisma and a wonderful sense of humor. Although we hadn’t spoken or seen each other in many years, I was genuinely heartbroken when I heard about his sudden death last year. It just seemed so incredibly unfair.

For months, I watched the news to see if anyone would ever be arrested in connection with Matt’s death. Finally, in February, just as I was about to give up on justice, I was inspired to do one last search of the news. Sure enough, that very day, I found out that the police had taken a suspect into custody. I wrote another post about how I felt about that. I didn’t expect a lot of people to get it, since it was one of my more “creative” efforts… but to me, the post I wrote about Matt’s killer’s arrest set to the Police’s 1983 album, Synchronicity, made a lot of sense. When I knew him, Matt bore a resemblance to Sting.

I’m still watching for updates on the case involving Tariq Witherspoon, the 30 year old New York Emergency Medical Technician who is being held responsible for mowing down Matt with a borrowed black Rolls Royce last year. Every time I think about how Matt died, it seems more absurd to me. This was a man who served in the Peace Corps twice. He had devoted his life to helping people, especially those who wanted to learn English and improve their lives. To think that he was taken out by an over-the-top status symbol driven by a man who supposedly devoted his life’s work to saving other people’s lives! It’s completely ridiculous.

Every day, there are more news articles about how absolutely insane the United States has become in recent years. From the relentless attack on women’s rights, to the senseless gun violence at schools, churches, and supermarkets, to the abhorrent racism on every common street corner, I’ve become a lot less impressed with my homeland. Last night, I was reading a sickening story about a nine year old White boy who brought a whip to his Black neighbor’s house. He was captured with a Ring camera, whip in hand, visibly seething with rage as he banged on the neighbors’ door, demanding that their daughter come out. Why? Because they’d had an altercation at school, and he wanted to “finish” it with a fucking whip! Below is a video of the incident, along with follow up footage of the Black girl’s parents confronting the whip wielder’s father. Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised that the boy’s father came to the door with a gun in his hand. I can see where this kid’s rage comes from; his father is clearly a toxic and dangerous person.

What the HELL is wrong with people?

What is especially sad to me is that this is a nine year old child. He probably has no idea about slavery in America, and how enslaved Black people were whipped, beaten, raped, and murdered so that rich White people could get richer. I hate to think that this child, at just nine years old, has this much hatred for others. I see how angry and violent he already is at age nine. What will he be like at 19? I hope he gets some competent help from a therapist before he winds up arrested on felony charges, as his dad was after he fired a weapon at the Black couple who confronted him about the whip and the damage the boy allegedly did to their car.

Amid stories like the one above, there are so many angry people in the United States. I read another story this morning about how Spain is considering allowing women paid time off when they suffer severe period symptoms. I think the idea is very progressive and humane. While my own periods have mainly just been annoying and inconvenient, I know women who literally get sick every month when they have their periods. I have known women whose cramps were so bad that it hurt to walk, and they spent days vomiting.

What a contrast this policy is, especially in a country as Catholic as Spain is, to the anti-women legislation being considered in the United States right now. I grew up believing that the United States was the epitome of a “free country”. But if the Republicans have their way, abortion will be outlawed, and women could find themselves at risk of being arrested when they have miscarriages. That seems extreme, but consider that Lizelle Herrera, a woman in Texas who miscarried, was actually arrested recently and accused of “murdering” her unborn child. Thankfully, good sense eventually prevailed, and she was released after what was surely a very stressful and horrifying ordeal at the Starr County Jail. I hope the American Civil Liberties Union helps her sue the fuck out of the people who reported her to the authorities and arrested her. What is especially scary about Herrera’s case is that she had gone to a hospital for help, and wound up being accused of “death of an individual by self-induced abortion”. If we don’t do something about the right wing anti-abortion zealots, this is a fate that could affect a lot of women. And it may lead to miscarrying people not getting medical help when they really need it, for fear of being arrested and charged with murder.

Mama Doctor Jones spells it out for all of us. Outlawing abortion in the United States will result in a lot of morbidity and mortality.

Naturally, the comment section for the article about Spain’s proposed legislation included many awful comments from American males, who have NO idea what it’s like to have periods, be pregnant, or deal with the aftermath of childbearing. Having lived in Europe for almost eight years, I’ve admired the family and community focused laws here. No, it’s not perfect, and people here pay a lot of taxes, which I know would not be popular in the United States. But Europeans recognize that children need their parents. Women who have babies in Germany get a very generous paid maternity leave before and after their pregnancies, as well as other benefits. Fathers are also granted time off to bond with their babies.

In the United States, we have people screaming about fetal rights, yet denying citizens the means to give babies and children a healthy start in life. When someone points out this discrepancy, they are sure to receive a snarky, unempathetic reply, usually from a Republican male, who obviously cares more about money than fellow human beings. This is what one typically tone deaf man– a man who claims he’s a doctor, no less— had to say about Spain’s proposed legislation:

Great. How do you prove that you have severe period symptoms compared to moderate ? How can you control for abuse of taking time off and differentiate between authentic cases and fictitious ones?

This was what a woman said in response to the “doctor”, who doesn’t have much regard for women:

Wait, you claim to be a physician? It seems horrible that this would be your level of compassion for a patient. There have been days out of every month for the past 40 YEARS when the pain was so severe I was vomiting and in tears. I spent the time with a heating pad or in a hot bath, trying my best to even prepare a meal for my family or perform the most basic tasks. This began when I was 12 years old. I was never diagnosed with any specific problem, and often told (mostly by male doctors) that it was just like that for some women and to “push through.” How does one prove such a thing?

Lots of people took on this supposed “doctor of misogyny”, as he continually mansplained why this law could be problematic. According to him, there are a lot of women in Spain who are just waiting to game the system and take off work when their period pain doesn’t warrant it (in his opinion, anyway).

I also saw a comment from a man who probably votes for pro-life candidates, but harangued a woman who pointed out how misogynistic the United States is. He told her to “get a new job” and exercise “personal responsibility”. When she came back and told him she was a member of a union and got decent benefits (for the United States, that is), the guy told her to “stop crying”. In his mind, she already had hers and needed to STFU. He couldn’t see why she’d want to advocate for others, who aren’t as fortunate. Does this man have women in his life? Does he care about them? Based on his comments, I’d guess not.

The pervasive self-centeredness and selfishness in the United States is just awful. It really doesn’t make me want to go home, even though I know I’m going to have to at some point. We have some unfinished business that needs to be handled. But do I want to move back there permanently? I have to be honest. I don’t think I want to. The United States has changed noticeably since the Trump years. I think Trump’s presidency has awakened and emboldened some of the worst people in our society. It will be years before the United States is back on track. It hurts to see how awful it is from afar.

Meanwhile, here in my little Hessian village, people are community minded and focused on doing things for the environment. Our local Facebook group shared a new “bee feeding vending machine” that is available now. Someone repurposed an old gumball machine so that it sells “bee bombs”– bee friendly flower seeds that can be planted in gardens to provide bees with fuel. Here in Germany, it’s illegal to kill bees. The government has wisely realized that without bees, we’d have no food. Similar legislation and efforts to save bees in the United States would probably garner nothing but derision from the clueless.

Well, I know it’s inevitable that we’ll go home at some point. Does it mean we’ll stay there for good? More and more, I’m thinking that maybe we won’t. My Italian friend, Vittorio, was right when he told me some years ago that America has a “weird-o-rama” culture. He was spot on. I didn’t see it when I was in the thick of it, but after years in Europe, it’s as plain as day. And it’s truly heartbreaking.

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condescending twatbags, sexism, social media, stupid people, YouTube

Mama Doctor Jones gets unfollowed… but not by me!

This morning, I woke up to a Twitter alert on my iPad. I don’t really pay a lot of attention to Twitter as a general rule, but ever since my recent debacle with USAA, I’ve tweeted more frequently, and that may be why Mama Doctor Jones came up today. Some jerk named Neil sent her this…

Wow, Neil… don’t let the door hit you on the ass as you make your grand exit.

I don’t understand Neil’s delusional comments. It looks like he didn’t pay much attention in English or social studies when he was in school. He doesn’t know what socialism is, or what constitutes socialism in a country. He lacks compassion for people who don’t want to be pregnant, can’t afford to be pregnant, or for whom being pregnant is unsafe, for whatever reason. He cares more about an unaware developing person than a person who has already been born and is aware. And bafflingly, he seems upset that Mama Doctor Jones (aka Danielle Jones, MD) has left the country. If he has such negative opinions about her, and her beliefs, shouldn’t he be glad she’s left the United States to a place more to her liking?

Not that I actually know if New Zealand is more to Dr. Jones’s liking. I have no reason to believe that she left the United States as a means of protest or disloyalty. Maybe she just wanted to try living in a new country. I’ve done it myself a few times. It doesn’t mean I don’t love the United States. I just enjoy experiencing new cultures and meeting different kinds of people. It also helps that Bill makes an excellent living in Germany, inconvenient as living here can be sometimes.

I’ve never been to New Zealand, but I’ve seen pictures. I know at least one person who voluntarily moved there. I can see why it would be an appealing place to live. From what I’ve seen, the place is absolutely STUNNING. And it has a leader who cares about people, rather than money and power. I would love to visit New Zealand sometime. I envy Dr. Jones for her opportunity to work somewhere different. If and when she comes home to the USA, or even if she chooses to work somewhere else, she will have a unique perspective that will be useful to her colleagues and patients. I wish all Americans had a chance to live abroad for awhile. It might make us better, wiser people as a whole.

Many of the responses to Neil’s comments by Mama Doctor Jones’s Twitter followers are pretty classic. Some people have pointed out that in the United States, as a whole, we don’t really get taught a lot about other countries or their governments. I don’t remember ever learning about New Zealand when I was in school. I don’t remember learning much about socialism or communism, even though the Soviet Union was alive and well when I was in school. I mean, yes, we talked about communism, and we had kickass propaganda movies like Red Dawn to watch, but I don’t remember any of my teachers really explaining what communism is as an economic theory. We just talked about how sad it was that people were being forced to live behind tall fences, with no freedom to live as they pleased. That was pretty much the narrative. We didn’t learn much about why communism or socialism might be attractive on any level. We also didn’t discuss how communism and socialism differed.

It wasn’t until I lived in Armenia that I finally had an inkling of what it must have been like during the Soviet era. I met lovely, generous, intelligent, talented people– people who were, just a few years ago, considered “enemies” just for being Soviet citizens. But yes, I could see how the government system they had lived under was problematic. At the time, I didn’t see how my own “capitalistic” government was also problematic. Now that I live in a country where social democracy is the rule, I can see why some intelligent Americans are seeking to leave the United States. I mean, it isn’t a perfect system, but I think it’s better than capitalism.

A friend of Bill’s recently told him about his wife’s experiences being treated for cancer in Germany. This guy and his wife, both American citizens, went to Landstuhl, the largest U.S. military hospital outside of the United States, looking for help, when his wife came down with colon cancer. The military hospital couldn’t offer her care immediately, so she sought help from the local hospital. She was asked to come in for an appointment that very day. She went in; the doctors found the problem; she was treated; and she’s now in remission. Total cost? It was about $12,000, from start to finish; many of the expenses were covered by health insurance. That would not be the story in the United States, even with health insurance coverage. These folks would qualify for care in a military facility, but as she was not on active duty, and her husband is retired military, treatment probably would have been on a space available basis. And U.S. doctors and medical facilities aren’t always too keen on accepting Tricare, since reimbursement rates tend to be low and filing for reimbursement is often complicated.

Now, this isn’t to say that there aren’t problems in Germany or other countries. People here do pay a lot of taxes, and some things are more expensive here than they are in the United States. For example, gas is a lot more expensive. We can get gas on military installations, but it’s still costlier than it would be in the US. Electronics are more expensive. I think clothes cost more, too. But the overall atmosphere is more community minded. There’s plenty of public transportation, and always a “fest” going on (except during COVID lockdowns). Workers have rights, and so do families. New parents get paid time off work to take care of their babies when they’re born, and time off is allowed for workers to enjoy life. My husband works for the United States, but because we live in Germany, we benefit from a lot of the local rules here.

This doesn’t mean that I haven’t missed home, at times. I have family and lots of friends in America. It will always be my home. But I sure have appreciated being allowed to live in Germany. If anything, I’ve learned that our way is neither the only, nor necessarily the best, way to live. I don’t know how much longer we’ll live here, but I’m happy enough to stay for now. I don’t have a burning desire to go back “home” anytime soon. I don’t think many people there miss me, either. An added bonus is that people in Germany aren’t compelled to carry weapons with them wherever they go, like a lot of Americans are. I’m sure Mama Doctor Jones has noticed the same in New Zealand.

I also wonder why “Neil” was following Mama Doctor Jones in the first place. Does he require the assistance of an OB-GYN? I mean, I think it’s perfectly fine for a man to follow Mama Doctor Jones. My husband has enjoyed her informative and entertaining videos on YouTube. I have a couple of male friends who have watched her videos, too, because I have suggested them. They enjoyed learning from her, too. But Neil doesn’t seem like the type of guy who appreciated the so-called “gentler sex”. What prompted him to tweet Mama Doctor Jones? And was he really following her? It seems a bit strange to me that someone with an obviously anti-woman viewpoint would watch videos by a progressive physician like Danielle Jones, MD. Either way, I doubt she’ll lose any sleep over his decision to unfollow her. He obviously doesn’t need her help.

And finally, I wonder if Neil thinks that his tweet will cause Mama Doctor Jones to change. At this writing, Mama Doctor Jones is wildly popular and successful on her social media platforms. She has 72.3K followers on Twitter, and 1.15M subscribers on YouTube. I, on the other hand, have 87 YouTube subscribers and around 60 people who regularly follow my blog. 😀 I used to have more followers, back when I was more assertively promoting my stuff. I learned that I don’t have the patience to deal with people like Neil, nor do I necessarily have the gift of charm or tact.

Mama Doctor Jones is a very appealing personality. She’s smart, attractive, funny, and empathic. No wonder people like her. Outliers like Neil, and their silly tweets, only make Mama Doctor Jones more popular. People love to stick up for sympathetic characters, and Dr. Jones is definitely someone who has an appealing message for MANY people. Sure, she’s for a woman’s right to choose abortion, but that only makes her a better doctor, in my view. Because she takes care of her patients, and when a pregnant person comes to her for help, they are the patient. I like that Mama Doctor Jones cares for people who have already been born. That’s the way it ought to be. And since Neil presumably has no need to see an OB-GYN, my opinion probably carries more weight than his does.

Anyway, I sure hope Neil is enjoying life among the clueless in whichever red state he’s dwelling in right now. I’m sure the rest of us who follow Mama Doctor Jones appreciate his consideration in taking himself out of our midsts. Neil’s tweets remind me of the below status update I saw on Facebook yesterday…

My response? BYE… Not gonna be able to deliver on that order of attention you wanted, Neil.

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communication, complaints, rants

It’s possible to be outraged about more than one thing at a time…

I’m getting a bit of a late start this morning. Those new Comphy sheets I got on Monday are the BOMB. I didn’t think it would be possible for me to like them more than the first set I bought in 2015, but I definitely do. For one thing, I love the fact that they’re navy blue instead of pukey green. For another, they just feel better on many levels. They fit the bed better– the old ones were too big, supposedly to account for pillow top mattresses– and the texture is soft and smooth, but not too silky. I don’t know… they’re just nicer. And for what I paid for them, they really ought to be! Even Bill, who doesn’t care about comfort as much as I do, has commented that he loves them and they help him sleep better.

Anyway, those new sheets were inviting today, since our previously beautiful weather of last week and Monday has vanished. Today, it’s cold and rainy. After breakfast, instead of going to my computer to write, I went back to bed, watched a couple of videos, and started reading my latest book, which made me feel drowsy. So I put the book down and dozed a bit. And now, it’s 9:30am, and I’m finally writing something fresh.

I put up four reposts yesterday, which wasn’t my plan. I had put up one post from the original blog because I was still ruminating on what to write about yesterday. Then I noticed a couple of posts that were kind of important when I initially posted them in 2013 and 2014, and I realized that they were evergreen enough to go up as reposts. And in one of those posts was an old book review, which I like to preserve when I can. By the time I was done reposting and editing, I had spent a couple of hours, and I didn’t figure anyone would be looking for fresh content. Or maybe I just didn’t feel like writing it.

Later yesterday afternoon, I noticed a Facebook friend had posted a “peevish” status update, which appears below:

No disrespect to the person who posted this, but it’s entirely possible for people to be “in a stew” about more than one thing at a time. And quite frankly, I don’t need to be encouraged.

I am mentioning the above post today because I’ve seen similar sentiments from other people about how some people’s priorities are askew. Some people are passively calling out others because we’re discussing incidents like Will Smith’s choice to hit Chris Rock at the Oscars, instead of other issues they think are more important. It occurred to me that I’m a relatively complex person. I can think about more than one issue at a time. I can discuss more than one issue at a time. Though I have both of these abilities, I should be allowed to discuss what I want to without someone else calling me out over it. There’s nothing to say that you have to participate in a discussion about Will Smith’s slap if you don’t want to do that. And there’s nothing to say that I can’t discuss it with those who are interested.

I mention myself in this post, but I don’t think the people complaining about “messed up priorities” were necessarily calling me out specifically. I guess I just want to address how reading those statuses made me feel. It’s yet another weird aspect of our current online obsessed/social media engaged society that baffles me. How is it that we feel the need to chastise our friends, loved ones, colleagues, acquaintances, and perfect strangers about their priorities? What makes us feel like we have the right to criticize others about what they feel like discussing? Especially when they’re doing it on their own spaces? We always have the choice to engage or not, right?

It occurs to me that I am not the type of person who needs to be “encouraged” to be in a stew about anything. I am a card carrying member of the “Easily Pissed Club”. Last week, I was pissed off at USAA… and by the way, I’m still waiting for my new debit card, which they reminded me to activate a couple of days ago. It hasn’t arrived yet, cuz APO sucks. I’m still pissed at PenFed, because I tried twice to open a new checking account with them and couldn’t because of an “error” in their system. Twice, they said they would look into it and contact me again. They haven’t, so I’ve given up on that. Navy Federal took five days to tell Bill that his eligibility documents were too blurry, so we’re still waiting for them to approve him as a member, so I can also join. These are just “stew-worthy” events from my personal life involving my finances.

Then there’s the whole ongoing COVID drama, which Germany refuses to let up on. We were supposed to have “Freedom Day” on March 20, but most of the states opted to continue the ridiculous restrictions until April 2. And now, some city officials are saying they’re going to declare cities “hotspots” so they can continue the restrictions– FFP2 masks required everywhere, social distancing, vaccination checks, and tests. Yesterday, I read an editorial in The Local Germany written by a guy who had gone to Sweden and anticipated coming back to Germany after our so-called non-existent “Freedom Day”. In Sweden, all of the COVID shit has been dropped and, guess what… Sweden’s COVID numbers are supposedly not that different than Germany’s are.

The heavier masks and vaccination checks aren’t stopping the spread of the virus, and they’re keeping Germans and the rest of us who live here in a never ending psychological morass of fear and doom. While countries all around us are dispensing with COVID rules, Germany stubbornly clings to them. Meanwhile, those of us who are fed up with the onerous rules are going to those other countries for our vacations and, perhaps, picking up the virus there. Or we’re staying here and getting the virus, in spite of the fucking heavy masks, which most people don’t bother to wear properly, anyway.

A guy we buy wine from has been trying to convince us to go to Italy at the end of April. We probably won’t do it because of COVID and the annoying COVID rules that would make such an excursion less likely to be fun. Italy has relaxed a lot of rules, but thanks to the psychological trauma that has occurred over the past two years, I’m just not ready to plunge in yet. I think COVID is here to stay, and our best bet is to get vaccinated, take reasonable precautions, and live our lives. The endless restrictions are not effective and no longer make sense. And they take a lot of joy out of living, too. See? I can be in a “stew” about that, too. I’m sure a lot of people– the guy who inspired this post included– would give me shit about my complaints about COVID. But I mention them, only because he apparently has a problem with people who are discussing Will Smith’s altercation with Chris Rock.

And finally, there’s the war in Ukraine, which of course is a terrible situation. I have never been to Ukraine, but I would have liked the opportunity to visit at some point. I have been inspired and enchanted by the stories of courage that have come out since Putin’s invasion. I also know people who are personally touched by the war in Ukraine. I absolutely feel for the people there. But my talking and posting about it isn’t going to change anything. There’s not a lot I can do about Ukraine, except donate money and items like clothing and shoes for those who have been made refugees. I have already donated some clothes and have made a point of buying Ukrainian products when I can. And I can continue to hear the stories about the war and the people who are affected by it. I can do that, and still have an opinion about Will Smith and Chris Rock. Not posting about Ukraine 24/7 doesn’t make me a morally deficient person whose priorities are lacking.

I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty goddamned sick and tired of people shaming others all the time. I especially think it’s out of place on Facebook, which is supposed to be a place where people connect. Wasn’t it originally supposed to be a fun activity, reconnecting with old friends and keeping in touch with relatives and such? When did people decide Facebook was the place to try to make other people feel like shit for not having the right “priorities”? Maybe the guy who inspired today’s post didn’t intend to make me feel “bad”– and even if it was his intent to do that, he didn’t succeed anyway. But the tone of that post is pretty shaming, in my opinion. Who put him in charge of policing other people’s reactions to current events?

I think it’s okay for people to have different priorities. Wouldn’t the world be a very boring place if we all talked about the same things? Isn’t it better that we have differing opinions? Can’t we learn from each other by discussing things in a civilized way? I know I’ve learned new things from having respectful conversations with other people. But honestly, most of us don’t need another reason to feel bad.

I also don’t think it’s wrong to have a discussion about what happened at the Oscars. There are even a number of angles that can be explored. For instance, one of my friends thinks it’s possible that Will Smith might have been under the influence of something when he reacted to Chris Rock’s lame joke. She also thinks it’s possible Jada Pinkett Smith might have even instigated Smith’s violent reaction. I don’t know anything about the Smiths’ relationship, but I do know that Will Smith’s choice to hit Chris Rock cast a real pall over what should have been a positive and family friendly event. It wasn’t until yesterday that I heard about how Lady Gaga and Liza Minnelli had a touching moment. Wouldn’t it have been nice if we could have heard about that as much as we did about Will Smith and Chris Rock? Isn’t it worth discussing that? As long as it’s all civilized, anyway…

Just re-reading my title for this post, I suppose I could just mention that I think it’s possible to suffer from “outrage overload”. I don’t need to be encouraged to be more outraged. I can handle that condition pretty easily on my own, thanks. And I don’t need more stress or worry in my life. I don’t need more shame, either. I think that’s true for a lot of us. I will continue to expect the worst and hope for the best. A little bit of fun, joy, and lively discussion is what keeps life worth living.

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controversies, Duggars, religion, sexism, wingnuts

Creepy men who are obsessed with getting some “young stuff”…

The featured photo is a screenshot of part of Patrick Weaver Ministries’ post.

There’s so much I could be writing about today. So much, in fact, that I’ve been sitting here for almost two hours, trying to decide which comments to make regarding the vast array of potential hot topics. Ukraine has been invaded by Russia, and who knows what that is going to lead to on a worldwide scale. Whatever happens will probably affect my husband’s work.

Then there’s the arrest of the guy who killed my former colleague, Matt. I could write more about that, but I don’t know how interesting that is to people other than me.

Then there’s the evergreen issue of COVID-19, but who isn’t sick of hearing and reading about that? I know it’s a tired subject for me.

And then there are the Duggars… another wedding is on the horizon, and apparently, another baby is allegedly on the way. This time, it’s John David and Abbie who are reportedly expecting. And next month, Jeremiah Duggar is going to marry Hannah Wissmann– just ahead of Josh Duggar’s sentencing. Yeah, I could write about that, but I’m not going to… because this morning, I saw something that really creeped me out.

Someone in the Duggar Family News group shared this post by Patrick Weaver Ministries. It’s calling out a youth pastor/filmmaker named Joshua_Wesely, who posted a picture of his girlfriend, Isabelle, on her 18th birthday, back on November 17, 2020. Have a look…

Eeeww…

Perez Hilton has an article about this couple, in which it is revealed that apparently, the two started their relationship when she was 14 and he was 20. He’s now 24 and she’s 18, which sounds slightly less icky… until you realize that he’s been working on her since she was in puberty! Mr. Wesely and his wife have made their Instagrams private, but the front page does reveal that he and the young lady are now married, and have been so since August of 2021. He also has a YouTube channel, at which I am currently taking a look. Interestingly enough, it turns out that he is German, and his content on YouTube is all in German. Also, in Germany, the age of consent is 14. I suppose I’m not surprised, given the attitudes about sex here. Still, it does seem kinda gross. ETA: Yikes! He is from Mainz, which is 20 minutes away.

It’s not their age difference. It’s the fact that he’s been chasing her since she was fourteen… and he’s a “youth pastor”.
So, I guess what Mr. Wesely did was technically legal in Germany… but yucky to Americans.

I remember what I was like when I was 14. I was in no way ready for sex, or a committed relationship. I know there are exceptions. Loretta Lynn married her husband, Doo (Oliver Lynn), when she was somewhere between 13 and 16 years old, and he was nineteen. They had six children, and were together for fifty years, until he died at age 69 in 1996. However, Loretta Lynn’s husband was a violent alcoholic who beat and cheated on her. If it hadn’t been for Loretta Lynn’s extraordinary talents as a musician, who knows what would have happened to her?

Hell, I was barely ready for sex when I was 30, which was when I finally started having it, two weeks after my wedding day. This isn’t to say that my situation is the norm. It isn’t. I just think that kids shouldn’t be engaging in serious and sexual relationships. Isabelle is not a child now, but she was for several years before she and Joshua got married. I know that if I had a fourteen year old daughter, I would not look too fondly on some 20 year old guy wanting to date her. That sounds like a dangerous situation to me. There’s a reason why so many fundies like to marry young– especially when the female half is young. It makes them a lot easier to “mold”. Fourteen year olds tend to be more submissive and less worldly.

It looks like maybe Mr. Wesely is on the far right. Below is a trailer from a 2021 film he produced called 2025- The World Enslaved By a Virus. The film envisions a world in which communism and atheism have taken over, and meetings, Christianity, and travel are forbidden. Wesely starred in the film, which he also wrote. His brother, Simon, co-produced and co-directed it.

I notice the channel where this is posted is called “Wesely Bro’s”… Apostrophe abuse, too?

This reminds me of something I saw back in the early 00s, when Bill and I were newly married. At that time, a lot of men thought the Olsen twins were super hot. I once actually saw a countdown clock in a bar that showed how much longer it would be before Mary Kate and Ashley turned 18. I know there were a number of Internet sites dedicated to their 18th birthday, which was June 13, 2004. Granted, the Olsen twins are celebrities. They are fabulously wealthy, and apparently, nothing creepy happened to them offline– that I know of, anyway. But still, there were basement dwelling creeps who were actually watching a clock to see how much longer it would be before they were “fair game” for being pursued by horny older men.

Ugh… This is just gross.

I know a lot of people think church is the best place to find a mate. Sadly, the reality is, church is a place where a lot of people wind up victimized, because they are conditioned to trust church leaders due to their role in a religious organization. I think this is especially true in strict, culty belief systems that promote conspiracy theories. In fact, as I have referenced before on my blog, there are even Web sites that encourage “Christian” men to marry young women, so they can be properly “groomed” for submission. The link I provided is a blog dedicated to “Biblical Gender Roles”. I have written about that site before, and judging by my stats, a lot of people are interested in it, as well as “domestic discipline”.

Churches are not the only way older men wind up with younger women. Having watched many episodes of To Catch a Predator, I know that these types of guys come from all walks of life. It doesn’t take much for them to take the bait if an underage woman signifies her consent. A few weeks ago, I was watching a YouTube clip that involved a 48 year old married physician from San Francisco, who came over to a decoy’s location, hoping to score. The physician ultimately committed suicide some years later. Surprisingly enough, he was still married to his physician wife when he died.

This is unbelievable. Obviously, he didn’t care about his career at all…

Bill and I talked about this subject this morning. We are, after all, about eight years apart in age. I had just turned 18 when he married his ex wife. However, Bill and I are a hell of a lot more compatible than he and Ex were. When we married, I was 30, and he was 38. Age matters less when you’re older.

I would say there is a big difference between 18 and 24; however, according to recent scientific research, neither Joshua’s nor his wife’s brains are even fully developed yet. That might explain the bizarre movies he puts out, promoting right wing conspiracies. According to the University of Rochester Medical Center, human brains aren’t considered fully developed until age 25. Bill did say, by the way, that he would have had a serious problem with a 20 year old man pursuing one of his daughters when they were that young. Not that Ex would have given him a chance to intervene.

And let’s not forget the case of Jack Schaap, a former “minister” at Hyles-Anderson College, a Christian school in Hammond, Indiana. He famously delivered a horrifying sermon in which he “polished” a rod, masturbation like, as he spoke about how God finds mates for the faithful. Mr. Schaap later went to federal prison for taking a sixteen year old girl he was “counseling” across state lines for sex. He was sentenced to twelve years in 2013, and is scheduled for release next February.

Part of Mr. Schaap’s defense was that the girl he abused was “aggressive” and had prior “extensive sexual experience”. He also alleged that she was a drug user. Apparently, in his feeble mind, that made molesting her okay. The girl was also reportedly a student at the private school run by Schaap’s former church, the 15,000 strong First Baptist Church of Hammond, since kindergarten. Based on Schaap’s comments, in spite of her religious schooling, she was “experienced”. I’d like to know who gave her that experience. Obviously, the staff at that church weren’t to be trusted. Or, at least that’s what I would think if I were that girl’s mother.

OMG… I would have died watching this.

I don’t understand what it’s like to be a man. I’m sure there’s a scientific reason why so many of them are looking for “young stuff”.

“You should be gettin’ that young stuff!” Eew.

Anyway… I don’t know if Isabelle is happy. She’s certainly young and pretty, and I can assume she married Joshua consensually. And I understand that German laws are different than US laws are, as are the mores surrounding sex. I do think it’s too bad she isn’t still single, though, and enjoying her youth… maybe doing something for herself, instead of jumping into marriage with a man who appears to be drinking some pretty strong right wing Kool-Aid in the name of “Christianity”. But, it’s her life. Still… eeew. Count me among those who disapprove.

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Germany, musings

Repost: The things I see and hear when I visit the textile free area…

I am reposting this piece I wrote for my original Blogspot version of this blog. At the time, we still lived near Stuttgart. We have since left there, and moved to Wiesbaden, where the one spa I’ve been to is completely textile free. Unfortunately, we haven’t been since before COVID struck. I miss it. Anyway, this post is from June 25, 2018, and appears as/is.

The featured photo is one I took in Sweden in June 2019, when we stayed at a wonderful hotel before we picked up our Volvo from the factory. That pool jutted out from the building about 23 stories up. I could see through the glass floor the parking lot below. It was not textile-free, as Swedes don’t go in for nudity like the Germans do. But, for obvious reasons, I don’t have any photos of the textile free facilities we’ve frequented.

Yesterday, Bill and I went to the Mineraltherme, which is a spa not far from where we live.  The Mineraltherme is not like a day spa.  You don’t go there for pedicures, manicures, or facials, although they do offer massages.  Basically, it’s a complex that has a bunch of pools of varying temperatures, saunas, steam rooms, and lounges. 

I love going to spas, but Bill is not really a fan.  He doesn’t like to be seen in his bathing suit.  He especially dislikes the “textile free” areas, which require everyone to be nude.  I mean, yes, you can wear a robe or a towel when you’re sitting on a lounger.  In fact, the staff prefers it that way.  But when you’re in the sauna, steam room, or pool, you have to lose your bathing suit.  Bill is bashful about going naked, but we both admit that once you do it, it’s no big deal…  Or is it?

Yesterday, I wrote about our visit to the spa on my travel blog.  That piece was mostly about lunch and how annoyed I was that there were grade school aged kids in the textile free area.  I mean, I know it’s Europe and people are freer about their naked bodies here.  I guess it just surprises me that people want their kids looking at some of the junk on display down there.  And it also surprises me that the people who are hanging out in the spa want rugrats running around while they’re trying to catch some rays.

In yesterday’s post, I mentioned that I saw one guy with a large metal ring hanging off the end of his junk.  I saw it even though the guy was trying to conceal the jewelry on his family jewels.  Bill and I were sitting at the foot baths, which isn’t far from the turnstile where one enters the textile free area.  It’s six euros to come in and that allows you to frolic in the buff to your heart’s content.  So we’re sitting there, soaking our feet, wrapped in our bathrobes and enjoying the lingering effects of wine. 

A tall man passed by.  He had a towel wrapped around his middle, but it didn’t quite cover everything.  As he passed, I could see his schlong.  I was about to avert my eyes when I noticed a large shiny object at the end of his penis.  I could see that it was a thick, heavy, silver colored hoop.  It kind of looked like a very wide banded wedding ring.  I cringed and wondered if it hurt to wear it as he casually strolled outside.  Then I wondered how much it had hurt to have that part of his body pierced.

Then I turned away and noticed three young kids milling around.  I was under the impression that people under 18 weren’t allowed in that area, but it turns out they can be there with adults.  It suddenly occurred to me that in the United States, people would be having a conniption about kids hanging around adults in the nude.  It was just one of those odd cultural moments, I guess.  I didn’t see any Germans acting inappropriately, other than the few who were making out in the pool.  I did, however, see a few American teens acting inappropriately. 

There were three young guys next to us in the pool.  They were Americans, two of whom spoke fluent Spanish.  At first, I wondered if they were in the Army.  They looked like they could be old enough to enlist… just barely.  But then I realized that two of them had hair that was too long and one guy was a bit too heavy.  The heavy guy was covered in ink and was going around squirting water with his hands like an oyster.  He had his hands together, fingers laced, and would close them to force water through.  I began to suspect these guys were military dependents.  The only other time I’ve ever seen anyone do the “oyster squirt” at a pool is on military installations.  The heavy set guy appeared to be the ring leader of the three.  He was talking about bringing a date to the textile free area of the Mineraltherme.  I kind of wondered what his mother might think about that.

The Mineraltherme is located very close to Panzer Kaserne, which is one of the US military installations in the area.  One of the reasons I had kind of hoped Bill wouldn’t want to go to Panzer yesterday is because you never know who you might run into.  I don’t think a lot of Americans use the Mineraltherme, but enough do that you might find yourself looking at your husband’s boss’s junk… or that of your stairwell neighbor’s.  There are other spas in the area that aren’t so frequented by Americans.  However, the Mineraltherme is slightly better for American sensibilities, since there are areas where you wear your bathing suit.  Germany does have a lot of spas that aren’t all textile free, but there are some where bathing suits are pretty much outlawed.  Americans are kind of leery of that.  I’ll admit I was too, at first.  But I think I’m probably a natural nudist.  I find skinny dipping kind of liberating.

Because I write a somewhat popular blog, I do kind of worry that I might be spotted in the buff by someone who’s read my stuff.  It’s happened before.  Last year, we went to the annual Weindorf, which is an event held to celebrate the area’s many locally produced wines.  Someone came up to me and said, “You’re Jenny, aren’t you?”  Sure enough, it was someone who follows my travel blog.  It stands to reason that I could be sitting in the textile free area buck naked and someone will come over to ask me about my blog.  I guess that’s not such a big deal, except for the naked part.  I mean, I know I often bare my soul on my blog, but baring my body might be more than I, or anyone else, can stand.  The lovely thing about Germans, though, is that they truly don’t care what you look like under your clothes.  If you hang out in certain areas, you’re liable to find out, whether you want to or not. (ETA in 2022: My blog is no longer popular for a lot of reasons. I’m happy about that, in part, because of what I wrote in this paragraph.)

After awhile, I got tired of listening to the English and Spanish yammering of the young lads who were thinking of bringing a date to the Mineraltherme.  Bill and I emerged from the pool and went into a sauna.  Saunas are a serious thing here.  There’s a whole culture and etiquette practiced.  We went in and sat down… and Bill forgot to arrange his towel so that his bare feet weren’t on the wooden bench.  I noticed a few disapproving glares from Germans and discreetly whispered to him to fix his towel, which he did.  I don’t usually like sitting in saunas, but I will admit that it felt good yesterday.  Ten minutes later, we emerged from the sauna, I took a quick shower, and then there was this wonderful rush of endorphins that came over me like a comfortable blanket.  I smiled.  I’m sure it was a beatific smile, though I can’t say for certain it was.  That feeling is why I come to the spa…  And with that, our visit was done.

Later, I got Bill to use his foot to work some out some of the knots in my lower back.  Because I sit on my can a lot, I always have sore back muscles.  He doesn’t really like doing that, but he’ll indulge me because although it hurts when he presses, afterwards I get a rush of pleasure.  Pressure against sore muscles feels great.  I guess it’s because all the crap trapped in the muscle fibers is forced out as blood rushes into the tissue.  Someday, I will invest in a massage chair so Bill won’t have to use his feet on my back anymore.  And maybe someday we’ll have our own pool, so we can go naked without having to see Prince Albert piercings or listen to teenagers talk about molesting their dates…  I can dream, can’t I?

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