Here’s another reposted book review for those who need a laugh. Actually, the funniest thing about this book is the title… but I’m gonna share it as/is anyway. I went through a phase in which I reviewed a lot of books about “inappropriate” topics. Maybe someone on your Christmas list will enjoy it. This review was originally posted on Epinions.com October 23, 2011.
Hey guys! Do you suffer from Oversized Male Genitalia (OMG)? In other words, is your penis HUGE? Does it rival the size of a Pringles can or a shampoo bottle? Does it cause you pain or embarrassment? Have you been the subject of ridicule, violence, or discrimination because of your large member? Are you afraid for the future because of the size of your penis? Have I got a self-help book for you! Dr. Richard Jacob and Reverend Owen Thomas are the authors of the 2009 book, How to Live with a Huge Penis. It’s a book especially for men who suffer from OMG and the people who love them.
I suppose you’re wondering how in the world a genteel lady like myself would ever deign to read a book entitled How to Live with a Huge Penis. After all, I don’t have a penis. Well, the truth is, I found this book while looking at a hilarious site called UHpinions.com. UHpinions is basically a site that showcases funny reviews that have been posted on Amazon, Yelp!, and though I have yet to find one, Epinions. Quite a few people had reviewed this particular book and one person left a real humdinger of a review. I was so intrigued that I just had to read this book for myself.
In all seriousness, what is this book all about?
First thing’s first. This book was published by an outfit called Quirk Books (www.quirkbooks.com). Despite the handsome red cover with fancy gold lettering, this book is not really intended to be taken seriously. This slim volume is more of a satire of self-help than anything else. I will admit, however, to finding the handy Length Gauge on the front cover very useful as I determined whether or not my dear husband, Bill, suffers from OMG or is just well-endowed. Flip to the back of the book and you’ll find a Girth Gauge, which again, helps readers of the male persuasion figure out if their penis size is cause for personal problems.
This book is written a lot like your garden variety self-help book is, albeit with larger lettering. The font size used in How to Live with a Huge Penis is huge, which ought to make people who prefer larger print happy. The authors begin by reassuring readers with OMG that they are not alone. Indeed, they include witty little anecdotes of certain famous men in history who also reportedly had huge penises. These little anecdotes, while probably not altogether true, are somewhat entertaining.
Next, the authors address how guys with OMG can deal with negative situations arising from their condition. These situations are brought up through italicized stories written by anonymous males who have suffered with reassuring answers offered by the authors who no doubt are experts on the subject of OMG. Toward the middle of the book, men with OMG can learn how they can “unzip” their condition, coming out to friends and family. There are also handy tips on the care and maintenance of a huge penis and the best ways to enjoy sexual intercourse with loved ones.
Introspective readers will certainly appreciate the daily affirmation journal at the end of the book, just pulsating with anticipation for its first entry. And the authors have also thoughtfully provided a helpful chapter about the positive aspects of owning an enormous schlong.
Honestly, I think this book could be much better than it is. It’s meant to be funny and it sort of is, but there’s not that much to it. The book is written in large print and contains pictures… not the detailed, interesting ones, mind you, but more like the stick figures that are used to determine which restroom one should use. Some of the writing is mildly entertaining and even giggle worthy, but with a title like How to Live with a Huge Penis, I was expecting something much more exciting. This book is a little like a cock tease in that respect. Also, there is a Web site on the back cover, but I tried going there and got the front page for GoDaddy. Talk about false hopes dashed.
This book might make a funny gag gift for a man in your life. Of course, it might also be quite offensive to some readers. If you’re the slightest bit intrigued by this review, I recommend checking out UHpinions.com and reading about it there, first. You might actually laugh harder for free.
For more information: www.quirkbooks.com
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