Tag Archives: India

condescending twatbags, controversies, politicians, politics

“Just lie back and enjoy it…”

Today’s post is going to be about a potentially disturbing subject. Reader discretion is strongly advised… (as it is every day, but today it’s even more advised than usual… 😉 )

Yesterday, as I was writing about how I think Americans need to grow up about their gas habits, I happened to run across a horrifying news article about Michigan GOP candidate Robert Regan and his misogynistic views. I was absolutely repulsed by what he said on a Facebook livestream. I don’t understand how and why people who are running for public office are allowed to say such vile, despicable things and still have a hope in Hell of being elected.

“For the love of God, don’t vote for my dad!”

Before yesterday, I had never heard of Robert Regan. The only place I’ve ever been to in Michigan is the airport in Detroit. I do have some friends from Michigan, but that’s not where we met, and most of them don’t live there anymore. So there’s no reason I should be personally interested in Michigan’s local politics. Except lately, I have noticed a lot of incredibly disgusting comments by Michigan GOP politicians, like Garrett Soldano, who has said he thinks abortion should be outlawed because of the potential that a developing fetus might someday be President of the United States. I was grossed out enough by Soldano’s anti-woman attitude… but now, Robert Regan has him soundly beat!

Mr. Regan, who hopes to represent Michigan’s District 74 in the state legislature, was participating in a discussion sponsored by the Rescue Michigan Coalition, a conservative group who support Donald Trump, and his idiotic insistence and baseless claims that the 2020 presidential election victory was “stolen” from him. I don’t understand how certain groups of people can’t fathom why people didn’t want Trump to stay in office. Many Americans think Trump is a disgrace, and for very good reason. But we still have people like those in the Rescue Michigan Coalition who wholeheartedly believe that Trump should be president. The mind boggles.

On Sunday night, Regan was involved in this Facebook livestream, which also included a woman named Amber Harris, a Republican strategist. Ms. Harris said that it’s now too late to challenge the results of the 2020 election. She thinks it’s time for Republicans to give up on their “Stop the Steal” nonsense and focus on future election battles. To that, Mr. Regan, who has three daughters, said Harris’s attitude is like what “I tell my daughters, ‘Well, if rape is inevitable, you should just lie back and enjoy it.’ ”

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!!!!!

Unfortunately, Regan isn’t the only Republican who has made such a shockingly misogynistic comment about rape. Yesterday, I included a meme in my post that listed some of the awful, ignorant, and downright stupid things Republicans have said about sexual assault. What is especially sad to me is that not everyone who made these comments were men.

As I was reading the article in the Washington Post to Bill last night, I asked him what it’s like for a man to have sex. As a woman, I have no idea. I can only expect that men don’t find most sexual encounters to be painful, since they aren’t usually on the receiving end. At least they aren’t usually when they are having consensual heterosexual sex. Bill said that sex is never physically painful for him. However, he knows that sex is often painful for me. It’s not painful when I’m physically ready to receive him. But even though I love Bill with all my heart, I have to be physically ready for sex before I can actually enjoy it. I don’t know about other women, but I’m very sensitive. Sex can be difficult for me, even with the man I love.

I have never been raped, but I can only imagine, based on my own experiences, that being raped would be extremely painful for most women. Imagine being terrified, brutalized, and completely repulsed by a sexual partner who is insisting on having their way with you. Rape is a violent act. It causes pain on multiple levels. It’s not something that people enjoy. It’s the worst kind of physical assault.

I cannot believe that Robert Regan, father of three daughters, has actually told them that if rape is inevitable, they should just “lie back and enjoy it.” What the hell is wrong with this man?

To her credit, Ms. Harris, who was also reportedly shocked and horrified by Mr. Regan’s comments, said “I’ve got advice to give to your daughters: Don’t do that. Fight all the time.”

Mr. Regan’s daughters do not support their father’s vile viewpoints. In June 2020, Stephanie Regan urged voters not to elect her father. In a tweet that went viral, Ms. Regan wrote “If you’re in Michigan and 18+ pls for the love of god do not vote for my dad for state rep. Tell everyone.” In subsequent tweets, she wrote “I don’t feel safe rn [sic] sharing further information regarding his beliefs, but please look him up and just read for yourself.”

Mr. Regan responded to his daughter’s comments with a statement on Facebook, pictured below.

I feel so sorry for Regan’s daughters.

Later, he was contacted by The Hill for a comment about his daughter’s comments. Regan said:

“A lot of students when they go off to these liberal university campuses, like the University of Colorado, the University of Texas and Austin — and she went to the University of Colorado in Boulder — and you know, they just kind of get sucked into this Marxist, communist ideology and she and I just don’t see eye to eye when it comes to the whole socialism, communism, Marxist philosophy,”

and then, when he was asked what he thought would prompt his daughter to make those comments about him, Regan continued:

“her big thing has to do with the systemic racism that’s going on in the country.”

“She’s a big believer in that,” he continued, while adding, “The only place where I really see systemic racism would be the abortion clinic cause they seem to target the African American community.” 

“I don’t buy into this whole systemic racism thing at all,” he later said. 

“I’m not saying there’s not hurdles to overcome. We all have hurdles to overcome. You know, as a quote-unquote rich, white, Christian male, people look at me a certain way. And it’s not always good. So, everybody has obstacles to overcome,” he also said, while adding he thinks [former] President Trump has “done more for the black community than any president we’ve had in the last 20 years.”

Wow…

On Monday of this week, after his controversial “rapey” comments were made public, Regan told Bridge Michigan, a news outlet, “sometimes” his words “aren’t as smooth and polished as the politicians are because I’m not a politician.” He says he’s “working on it.” He continued, “The only reason the left trolls attack you is because they know you’re directly over the target, dropping direct hits on an issue. If you’re not scoring hits, they leave you alone.” And specifically about his comments on lying back and enjoying rape, he said he only meant that “nothing is inevitable.”

Regan later tried to put his comment in perspective, repeating it with more context, which made it sound only slightly less offensive. He said:

“We’re sick and tired of the establishment telling us, ‘you just have to sit there and take it. Just lie there and enjoy it,'” Regan said. “This is the way this is going to be. And I used the example: ‘That would be like if I told my three daughters that rape’s inevitable and you should just lie back and enjoy it.'”

“That’s not what we do. Even in the face of very difficult odds, you go after it. That is what our founding fathers did,” he added.  

Right… and our “founding fathers” were slave owners who “wanted to be free…”

Regular readers might know that I am against allowing people into positions of power who have no respect for other people’s bodies. There are a lot of reasons why I am so against Donald Trump, but one of the main reasons is that he doesn’t have any respect for women. Trump has been credibly accused by multiple women of everything from lewd comments and inappropriate groping to actual sexual assault and rape. I don’t think rapists and sexual assaulters should be in power. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect that people who can’t keep their hands to themselves are not allowed to make and execute laws that affect everyone. Sexual deviants should not have political power. Is it too much to ask to keep rapey people out of the government? Especially the White House? I don’t think so.

I didn’t like Bill Clinton for the same reason I don’t like Trump. However, even though I don’t like Clinton for his yucky philandering dalliances, I do think he was at least a competent president. He’s also a hell of a lot smarter and more compassionate than Trump is.

Regan isn’t the only politician to make a comment to the effect that women should just “lie back and enjoy rape”. Back in 1990, a man named Clayton Williams ran for governor of Texas. On a rainy day in March 1990, reporters had gathered at Mr. Williams’ ranch and were “getting restless”. Williams chose to make light of the bad weather situation by comparing it to rape. He said, “If it’s inevitable, just relax and enjoy it.” Jeez. I guess some people have learned nothing in the past 32 years.

A few months ago, a similar comment about “enjoying rape” when it’s “inevitable” was made in India. According to the article I linked:

“There is a saying that when rape is inevitable, lie down and enjoy it. That is exactly the position which you are in,” KR Ramesh Kumar, the former Speaker of the Karnataka Assembly said on Thursday, drawing guffaws from the members including his successor Vishweshwara Hegde Kageri.

And:

The Speaker questioned how the session can be conducted if time was allotted to everyone. Then, in a note of resignation, Vishweshwara Hegde Kageri added: “Whatever you decide – I will say yes. What I am thinking is that let us enjoy the situation. I can’t control or regulate the system. My concern is about the business of the house, it has also to be covered”.

Obviously, this attitude about rape isn’t just an issue in America. However, I do notice it’s always men who say these things. When men make these kinds of revolting comments, they show that they are terrible people, and probably worse lovers, who are only focused on themselves and have no empathy for women. They clearly haven’t even considered the physiology of a woman, nor do they care if she’s enjoying herself. It doesn’t occur to them that rape isn’t pleasant at all. It’s a criminal act of violence. It’s physically painful and horrifying. It hurts. And hearing people who wish to be in power so cavalierly throw out comments like “I tell my daughters, ‘Well, if rape is inevitable, you should just lie back and enjoy it.’ ” In no way is that ever an appropriate thing for anyone to say, let alone a person who is running for office.

Robert Regan should be deeply ashamed of himself. I hope the people of Michigan take his comments into account when they cast their votes.

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A little “Clarity”…

It’s dark and rainy outside, here in Beaune. I have a few minutes to write this as I wait for Bill to get out of the shower and make coffee. I would make it myself, but Bill is better at making coffee than I am. I wasn’t even much of a coffee fan until Bill and I met. Funny, isn’t it, that he is better at making coffee when he was once a Mormon? But then, before he was a Mormon, he was Methodist, Episcopalian, and Catholic, so I guess that’s where he got his mad coffee making skills.

Last night, I wrote a post about how I think using generic names as insults is “stupid”. I still think it’s stupid to call someone “Susan”, “Becky”, “Patty” or whatever when your intention is to insult them. It was probably cute when the first couple of people did it. Now, it’s become old hat. Or, at least that’s my humble opinion. I don’t enjoy being insulted. I don’t think anyone enjoys it. However, I have much more respect for witty insults than cliched ones, and that was the idea last night’s post was ultimately regarding.

I wrote last night’s post in response to being labeled “Susan” and “Karen” on a New York Times comment thread I started. This is the third post I’m writing that was fathered by my innocuous, matter-of-fact comment about getting spam from people in India. The first post was about how bewildered I was that some people either took apparent offense to my comment or decided to hit on me. The second post was about how irritating it is when someone comes along later, revives a comment thread, and then doesn’t even have the decency to be clever and funny when they hurl insults at me.

This post is about a comment I got on my official OH page. A reader decided to explain to me why I got called “Karen” and “Susan”. I’m afraid my retort was a little snippy. I apologize for that. I’m ragging, have a cold sore, and am still wondering if I’m speaking a foreign language. You see… I completely understand why some people were insulting me for daring to comment about Indians losing their Internet access as I continue to be spammed by people in India. For the most part, I think people were having some fun at my expense, although one or two really might have been offended that I commented about spam. To be clear, I was also having some fun replying to the commenters who took me on, although I was legitimately baffled as to why the race card got thrown out there, especially when I noticed that other commenters made much more offensive comments that were legitimately racist and sexist, yet they didn’t get hit with a ration of shit. I figured it’s because I’m a middle-aged blonde woman who can’t possibly know anything about the world… or so it may appear from the outside. If I happened to be a swarthy man from Asia daring to comment about India, maybe people might take me more seriously. I also understand that when you put something out there on social media or elsewhere, you invite commentary. It’s too bad so many people choose to be uncivilized rather than understanding.

However, to my knowledge, no one commenting on that thread has ever even met me in person. In fact, while some of my regular readers know me offline, most of them don’t know me at all, other than what I’ve written in my blog or on Facebook. So it’s strange to me that someone would presume to know what’s in my head. Last night’s commenter used the word “worried” when she explained why I got labeled “Karen” and “Susan”. She wrote that I was “worried” about being spammed when people in India are suffering. The fact is, I don’t “worry” about spam. It is what it is. We all get it in our inboxes and those of us who write blog posts get it in comment sections. It’s a problem that affects everyone, and I’ll never change it by complaining or “worrying” about it. I also wrote in my initial post that I understand that people in India are having a tough time. I even explained why I knew they were having hard times and expressed concern for them.

And yet, somehow, people are still under the faulty impression that I’m more concerned about spam. The fact is, I’m not. If you’d heard me say “And yet, people from India still constantly spam my blogs…” in person, you probably would not have come away with the idea that I’m worried or upset about that. Online communication is different. You don’t have the benefit of body language, facial expressions, or vocal tone to get the nuances of what a person means or what might be in their heads. Non-verbal communication is extremely important in everyday speech, but online, you don’t usually have non-verbal cues to help express your point. And so, people often inaccurately translate what they read. They interject their own interpretations into words and make assumptions that may be incorrect. Or they simply decide to stir up shit for fun and adventure.

This phenomenon is fascinating to me, which is why I was inspired to write about it. The first post was about the many reactions I got from other New York Times Facebook followers. The second post is about how annoying it is when someone revives a dead thread with stale and unfunny insults, rather than insight, wit, and empathy. I wrote last night’s post while drinking wine after having spent hours in the car, which also affected its tone and color. I was blowing off steam. I doubt people will stop using “Susan” and “Karen” as insults, simply because I think it’s stupid.

Anyway… I hope this is “clear” to Clare and any other readers who feel the need to explain Lacey’s “Susan” and “Karen” comments to me. One might assume Lacey was “offended” that I “care” more about spammers on my blogs than the poor Internetless people in India. Personally, I think Lacey just wanted to be rude to a stranger and figured I was an easy target. But I could be wrong.

Maybe Lacey stays up nights worrying about people in India. Maybe she’s launched a “free the Internet” campaign for Indians who can’t get online. Maybe she is the biggest, baddest, and best darn social justice warrior there is… Perhaps she’s even written a dissertation on racism toward the people of India. Somehow, I doubt any of that is true, but it could be the case, for all I know. After all, just as Lacey doesn’t know me, I don’t know her. Well… I do know that lobbing witty insults isn’t a strong suit of hers. Or, at least I didn’t see any evidence that it is. Maybe she saves her best put downs for the “Pattys”, “Beckys”, and “Chads” out there.

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“You’re a racist!”

It’s not even 9:00am yet, and someone has already accused me of being a racist. Why? Because I commented on a news story on The New York Times about how the Internet has been shut down for 60 million people in India. It seems that their government leaders have been pushing provocative policies that have caused a lot of civil unrest. There have been riots. People are very upset. I don’t blame them for being upset. India is supposedly one of the world’s largest democracies, yet its current leader is imposing draconian measures to keep India’s massive population under control. Government officials claim that they regularly shut down the Internet “to stop the spread of hateful and dangerous misinformation, which can move faster on Facebook, WhatsApp and other services than their ability to control it.” Sounds like a scary situation.

Alright then. So what did I write to be accused of being a racist?

And yet, people from India still constantly spam my blogs…

So far, my comment has gotten 86 reactions, most of which are positive. Several men have taken me to task for making the factual observation that many people from different countries spam my blogs and quite a few of them are from India. What’s disparaging or racist about that? I didn’t say Indians were bad people. I didn’t disparage Indian culture or food. I didn’t even say spam was *bad*. In fact, my niece was BORN in India, because my sister was living there in the early 1990s. I don’t dislike Indian people. I do dislike spam, but it’s evidently a big business in places like India, China, Pakistan, and Nigeria. The fact that I get spammed by people in those countries doesn’t mean I hate them or think I’m better than they are, though. I simply made an observation.

Here’s another observation. After I got called a racist, several men started flirting with me. Naturally, they’re probably spammers too. In fact, I would not be surprised if my Facebook Messenger is flooded with filtered messages from these folks, looking for quick cash or whatever. One guy wanted me to add him and I told him I was married. Another asked why I didn’t “like” the guy. Um… I’m married. What part of that don’t you understand? Would you want your husband or wife privately chatting with some stranger from a distant land on Facebook? And even if I weren’t married, I’m not looking to meet “strange” men on the Internet… even though Bill used to be one of those strange men.

I thought about sharing my entire exchange on The New York Times here, but the cross commentary is too confusing, and I don’t feel like editing everybody’s names. Besides, while I’m sure that some of the people who have commented are serious, more of them are likely trolls or people who are angling for something. I’m sure if you visit The New York Times’ Facebook page, you can easily find the thread.

Just as I was about to move on with my day, I noticed another comment accusing me of thinking the world revolves around me. After I reiterated that I was simply making an observation, someone else accused me of having a “thin skin” and not being able to recognize trolls. I think that’s funny, since none of these people have ever met me. It would not occur to me to immediately assume something about a random stranger on Facebook and openly call them out like that. Like… it would actually bother me to make that kind of a bold assumption about a total stranger. But it seems that many people have no issue with it.

Here’s another observation I’ve just made. I commented about spammers from India. This guy posted this comment:

Except for the beautiful women – there is nothing good about India.

This comment has been up for about 20 minutes, yet the only reaction to it is a single thumbs up “like”, and he’s only gotten about six somewhat neutral comments. No one has accused this man of being “racist”, having a “thin skin”, being “funny looking”, or having a “poor sense of humor”, nor does it appear that anyone has tried to pick him up, although I think his comment is far more racist and sexist than mine is. I guess he’s not being picked on because nature bestowed a “magic wand” between his legs instead of a bleeding axe wound. I’m kidding, of course. There’s nothing particularly magic about a penis. I once had a psychology professor who constantly referred to penises as “magic wands”. She taught a “Psychology of Women” class. I got a C in that class, so no one should take seriously anything I have to say about gender.

I’m not that upset this morning, although I have a cold sore brewing (Abreva, please do your stuff!). I’m actually more bewildered than troubled. I made a simple observation on The New York Times, and suddenly a bunch of apparently Asian men think they know me… or they wish to add me on Facebook based on a couple of comments and a photo. It’s kind of creepy and weird, but I’m not particularly upset about it. In fact, before this morning, I wasn’t even aware of India’s problems with having the Internet withheld by government authorities. I’m sympathetic to their plight. I’m sure this is a big deal to them, especially since a lot of people’s livelihoods are affected, not to mention the social stimulation people get when they’re online.

I don’t know how people make money from spamming. I guess some people must take the bait, since it’s been a problem since the dawning of the Internet. I’m sure there is a motivation for people in other countries to send out ridiculous spamming emails and comments in order to generate business. Otherwise, why would they do it? Spam was a much bigger problem on my old blog, since I left comments mostly open. I’d regularly get spam comments cleverly disguised as “legit”. On this blog, the default comment mode is moderation, so comments don’t appear unless it’s from someone who has commented once before and is approved. I also have stronger spam filters on this blog than I did on Blogger. But still, I pay close attention to Statcounter, and whenever I get a non VPN hit from a distant country, nine times out of ten, it’s someone trying to leave spam. Again… this is a statement of fact. There’s not anything racist about making such a statement. It would be racist if I claimed that all spammers are “dirtbag Indians”. I never made such a claim, nor would I, about Indians or people from any other country.

I had actually considered writing about several different topics this morning. Some of my alternative topics might have been more interesting than this is. At this point, it looks like people have moved on. Such is the nature of The New York Times, I guess. It’s a big, well-respected newspaper, and lots of people are reading and commenting. Most people realize that my comment was pretty innocuous, if not spot on. Otherwise, why else would it have gotten so many heart and laughter reactions?

Just now, I got an insult about my looks…

(in response to a comment I made– “who says I’m joking?”)

 I’m glad you’re not because I’d expect it to be as Funny as your face Lol.

To which I responded…

Haniyam Shaikh Awww… you say the sweetest things!  <3

Like… seriously. I’m a happily married woman with a dynamite lifestyle. Why should I care if this man wants to insult my looks? Even if he thought I was “cute” and I thought he was “cute”, it’s not like we’d ever meet. And… if I really did want to be racist, I’d mention that I’m assuming our standards of hygiene are vastly different and I might be quite turned off by that. But that WOULD be a very racist and rude thing to say, so I’m not going to say it. Instead, I’m going to decide if I feel like washing the sheets. Then, I’m going to have some breakfast before I get into too much more trouble. Low blood sugar is the pathway to Hell, y’all.

Edited to add: Many hours after the thrill had passed, some chick named Lacey came along and started insulting me by calling me “Karen”, “Susan”, and “Boomer”. I told her she should go learn about respecting her elders. New York Times’ readers are fun to fuck with sometimes.

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