narcissists, politics, Twitter

Bon Jovi to the rescue?

Mmm’kay… now that some time has passed, I have found something fresh to write about. But first, I want to write a “micro post” about a topic that isn’t pertaining to the blog post title.

I just read an article in the Washington Post about former Surgeon General Jerome Adams and his wife, Lacey, who suffers from melanoma. They’ve had a tough time of things, because no one wanted to hire Dr. Adams once his term ended. He’s being negatively affected by Donald Trump, who has a habit of turning everything he touches to shit. Lots of people think Dr. Adams deserves to suffer for working for Trump. I disagree. For one thing, I’m grateful for anyone who tried to do good things while working for Trump. I think Adams was one of those people, even if I don’t agree with his politics. I’d also like to think that most people can redeem themselves somehow. Adams made some unpopular decisions and was a little too wedded to social media during his tenure. But I don’t think he’s an actual Trumper. This is a Black man who had the chance to be the Surgeon General. Can anyone blame him for taking the opportunity, even if it was under Trump? Maybe he really did think he could make a positive difference.

Lacey Adams has melanoma and wants to get the word out about it. That’s admirable. People should support her and her husband in that mission, because it could save lives. Someone had to be Surgeon General under Trump. It doesn’t sound to me like Dr. Adams should be punished for that job, which someone did have to do. I’d rather Adams was in that position than some Trump flunkie. His career shouldn’t be forever tainted by Trump. Let’s save that punishment for people who actually kissed Trump’s ass and actually promoted his disgusting agenda. The Adams family have three children to support, and they need to be able to make a living, in spite of their dealings with Trump. Otherwise, what happens? They end up on the dole? Adams has useful skills. We should let him use them to help people. Because he actually CAN help… unlike Ex.

Now… moving on to the title, as Bon Jovi doesn’t have anything to do with Dr. Jerome Adams.

Ex is back on her campaign to save the world. Even though I quit Twitter, I can still see things she tweets. And, once again, she has big dreams of making the world a better place. A few months ago, she wanted to travel the world with her autistic son. Now, she supposedly has more altruistic plans. Behold Ex’s latest tweets:

Of course she needs sponsors… She can’t teach social workers anything, except maybe as a real life model for abnormal psychology.
Can you help Ex, Bon Jovi? Send her some money? Help her find sponsors? Oh please… like Poland needs her kind! Ex doesn’t work, and lacks the experience to do a project like this– supposed master’s degree and doctoral aspirations notwithstanding.
That’s an admirable theory… too bad she doesn’t practice what she preaches. In fact, she doesn’t practice much of anything.

And she’s all about politics, too. She can make the world a whole lot brighter! Just ask Mayor Pete!

Whatever you say, Ex. Because your own life has worked out so fucking well.

I know what some people who read this might be thinking. Why does it even matter to me? Well, for one thing, I find these ideas ridiculous, and they gave me a good laugh. For another, I live in a country adjacent to Poland and I don’t want that woman anywhere near us. She’s already proven in the past that she’s not above tracking down Bill and presenting a sob story. I don’t think she’d do that again, as long as I’m around, but I still don’t want her coming over here. She needs to stay in her little corner of the world.

I’m not actually worried that she’ll do this stuff, though. She’s the queen of big ideas. The ones she sets in motion usually fall apart, because she lacks the ability to follow through properly, and she has a terrible deficit in the ability to predict setbacks and disasters. What could possibly go wrong? She never asks herself that question, and her plans usually land her in predicaments that don’t only affect her. If, by some miracle, she did come to Eastern Europe and try to do something, she’d probably be laughed back to the US in a hurry. When she does manage to start on a project, she almost always loses interest in it. This usually happens after someone has invested a lot of money on her behalf. Ask Bill about Mary Kay, Nutrisystem, Walmart, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I also have serious doubts that she can handle living in austere conditions, particularly the ones that Ukrainians are dealing with right now. I lived for two years in Armenia in the 90s, and it wasn’t easy. I was a lot younger then, and not addicted to the Internet. Ex is in her mid 50s, has a severely autistic son, and people in her life of whom she needs to maintain control. I don’t see her dropping all of that for a mission to Eastern Europe. However, she probably would like to have some people slipping her some cash… you know, for her “project”. It’ll get spent on her mortgage or whatever cheap trinket she feels compelled to buy for herself to help fill the empty void of her psyche.

Is this a mean spirited missive? Maybe. And I know some people think I’m an asshole for writing about her. That’s fair enough, I guess. But in my own defense, I have spent the past twenty years watching people I love being screwed over by her and her ridiculous antics and harebrained ideas. I figure she must have run out of local supply, since she’s constantly hitting up people on Twitter for money or “sponsorships”. And maybe someone will see this and know to steer clear, although I kind of hope astute people can smell the crazy for what it is.

I wonder if Mark Hamill has spotted the pattern yet..

Anyway… I doubt there’s much Ex can do in Poland and/or Ukraine, other than go shopping… But that’s not stopping her from “trying to help”. Maybe she can, someday, redeem herself. But unlike Jerome Adams and his wife, she’s not made much of an effort to change her ways. It’s the same shit, different year, different victim… and in the long run, the same stupid results.

social media, Trump


I woke up this morning at about 4:30am. It’s not uncommon for me to wake up early, especially this time of year. In Germany, we get a lot of sunlight in the summer– a lot more than we get in the States. The sun rises super early and doesn’t set until about 9:30 or 10:00pm. Consequently, I wake sooner than I should have to, and often end up reading the news, which makes me wake up even more.

Once again, I read more about the insane state of the world. A friend shared a couple more articles about the importance of face mask wearing. I just wrote about that yesterday, and I don’t really want to write about it again today… and yet it’s on my mind and I feel compelled. I think the masks are becoming symbolic of the overall mood we’re all in these days. A lot of people are stressed out, angry, and scared. There’s a lot of yelling and opining going on, but not much listening. People on both sides of the spectrum– whether it’s about politics or public health– are feeling fed up. It feels like the whole western world is throwing a huge temper tantrum.

Slap 2020 on this and call it done…

COVID-19 is the icing on the “shit” cake that is Donald Trump’s presidency. On the liberal side, there are many vocal cheerleaders for mask wearing. They plead, cajole, lecture, virtue signal, and when that doesn’t work, insult the non mask wearers, mostly assumed to be Trump supporters. The non mask wearers, who are often conservatives, respond defiantly and angrily. The volume level grows ever more shrill, even on social media. No one is stopping to take a deep breath and consider the other sides of the issues. Instead, many people devolve into trading personal insults, which after awhile prove challenging for even the most reasonable person to resist. And instead of being convinced to change their minds about the issues, people come away from those interactions even more stubbornly entrenched in their views.

I have not made it a secret that I am not a fan of the face masks. However, I don’t begrudge other people’s views on mask wearing. And I don’t go out in public very often at all, so I am not putting anyone at risk by not wearing a mask. I have literally only been in a public place once since March 14th. For the very brief time I was in public back in April, I did wear a mask. I hated every minute of that experience and decided I’d rather just stay home. So, until today, that’s what I have been doing. Today, I will go out, because tomorrow is my birthday, and Bill wants to take me away for the weekend. However… to be honest, I’m more nervous than excited about it. I kind of don’t want to go.

Staying home hasn’t totally shielded me from the hostility of the world. It’s my own fault for being on social media, and I have been considering getting off of it… I’ve also been thinking about making this blog private, mainly because I’m finding it harder to deal with people anymore. Many, many people, who probably aren’t really as mean they appear to be on Facebook, are coming off as unkind and unreasonable. In the last few weeks, the couple of times I have left comments for friends that weren’t the “popular” viewpoint, I have been attacked by complete strangers who have called me names, made unflattering assumptions about my character, and are not at all interested in having a civilized conversation.

This morning, I found two Facebook posts about face masks shared within the same hour by a friend. One article, inflammatorily titled “A Mask is a Stupid Hill to Die on, America“, pretty much illustrates my theory about why some people are being so stubborn. In that article by John Pavlovitz, I found the following:

Personally, I found these statements offensive… and that made me disinclined to be swayed by Mr. Pavolovitz’s impassioned writing.

First of all, I’m definitely not a narcissist. If I were a narcissist, I’d be out in public, brazenly breaking the rules and defiantly protesting the masks. But, as I wrote above, I’ve been staying home for the past three months and have gotten to the point at which an idea that used to excite me– going somewhere and staying in a hotel– actually has me feeling scared and nervous. Seeing people wearing masks doesn’t make it better. It’s just a visual reminder of what we’ve lost over the past few years.

I’m not even that afraid of getting sick. COVID-19 is pretty well controlled in Germany, and people here are very respectful in terms of doing what is necessary to control the spread of the virus. I just feel very anxious about being out and about… and that makes me feel angry and resentful. I feel like most of the things that I enjoy… things that make life worth living– have been suddenly taken away. I don’t enjoy life that much as it is, so this pandemic makes it worse. And having some blogger who doesn’t even know anything about me assume that I’m a narcissist because I’m not on the mask bandwagon is very offensive to me. I’m not inclined to change my mind after reading his piece. But I don’t think he wrote it for me, anyway. I think it was written for those who are already believers and want to cast shame on those who don’t feel the same way they do. They feel better for reading and sharing it, even if the person who wrote it really didn’t do much to change hearts and minds as much as he vented.

And secondly, I think anyone who reads this blog or follows me on Facebook knows how I feel about Donald Trump. I probably don’t need to write much more about that. I think he’s a vile scumbag who has made this situation so much worse than it really needed to be. I resent him, too.

I was glad, at least, to see that Mr. Pavlovitz added this last bit to his post:

Note: Obviously, people with health conditions and PTSD which make wearing a mask difficult or impossible are exempt from this piece. (The rest of you know who you are.)

Even if you do have a condition that makes wearing a mask difficult or impossible, you’re still going to be confronted, harassed, and expected to explain yourself. Never mind that many people prefer not to tell strangers about their health. I mean, in the USA, doctors aren’t even allowed to discuss their patients’ health conditions with other doctors unless they get permission. But I’m expected to explain– to any stranger who confronts me and demands to know why I’m not wearing a mask– that I have asthma, or another condition that would make the mask difficult to wear. And even then, it’s not likely the other person would believe me anyway.

My Facebook friend shared another article on Market Watch about an hour after she shared John Pavlovitz’s piece. This one, entitled “Why do so many Americans refuse to wear face masks? Politics is part of it — but only part”. Against my better judgment, I read that article, too. I almost left my friend a comment, but then remembered what happened a couple of weeks ago, when I made the mistake of opining about another article she shared in which someone was being called a “Karen”… I think it was one about Amy Cooper. I also have the unpopular opinion that Amy Cooper isn’t necessarily a racist for calling the cops on birder Christian Cooper, nor do I think it’s appropriate to ruin her life over that incident. Two different people, complete strangers to me, automatically jumped down my throat because I didn’t agree with them. Since those arguments took place, I’ve seen even more evidence that Amy Cooper isn’t actually a racist so much as she’s someone with a “high conflict personality”. In other words, she’s probably kind of an asshole to everyone… not just people of color. Or so it appears from that article, anyway.

Since tomorrow is my birthday, I don’t want to get into an argument with anyone today. So I deleted what I wrote on my friend’s second article about face masks. It’s kind of a shame that I felt the need to do that, since I think the purpose of sharing news articles is to generate discussion. My thoughts were formed after reading the comments on the Market Watch’s piece linked above. The comments people left were almost all hostile and disrespectful, on either side of the argument. Again… lots of people feel fine about “loudly” sharing their views, but they aren’t at all interested in considering what the other side thinks. They’ve made up their minds, have collectively folded their arms, toughened their stances, keep parroting the same lines over and over again, and have closed their ears to anything else. So what’s the point of sharing an opinion?

That attitude is what makes people want to rebel. I could easily share some of the comments on the Market Watch piece here, but there are just so many of them, and reading them is depressing. Even the ones I agree with are stated with so much indignation and disrespect that I just don’t even want to go there.

People keep preaching about mask wearing. They have less to say about hand washing, which is even more important when it comes to arresting disease transmission. But it’s easy to see the mask, and so it seems a lot easier to enforce. It makes some people feel better when people wear them. Others, like me, are creeped out by them. We’re told to “get over it and get used to it” because “this is the new normal”. Our concerns are deemed silly or unimportant. I’ve been treated this way my whole life by my loved ones, so now, when I get the same treatment, especially from strangers on the Internet, I feel the need to either rebel or ponder how I can make a quick exit from the world.

Adding to this conflict is the fact that Americans have often been encouraged to think for themselves, do their own research, and not be “sheep”. Coronavirus has only been a worldwide issue for a few months. Even the leaders don’t know what they’re doing. Consider these two conflicting tweets from the U.S. Surgeon General, anesthesiologist Jerome Adams:

Now… this isn’t to say that the masks aren’t useful. But consider that it was only a few months ago that the Surgeon General was imploring people in all caps to “STOP BUYING MASKS”. He’s supposed to know what he’s doing. His advice completely changed in a span of three months. Remember what I wrote about seatbelts. It took YEARS to get the majority of people to wear them consistently. I suspect there will be people who will never be willing to wear the masks, just like some people still don’t buckle up in the car. For some reason, this morning when I was talking to Bill about this, I was reminded of prisoners in chains going out in the “free world” for whatever reason. They’re out in the world– but they’re wearing chains because they must. Maybe that’s why some people feel oppressed by the masks, even though they’re worn for public health reasons. People don’t like to be told they “must” do something, especially when it involves wearing something on their own bodies, even if it’s for their own or the common good. They want to rebel, no matter how many times you explain to them why you’re “right”.

I don’t see this issue as the same as “no shirt, no shoes, no service”, either. The convention to wear shirts and shoes in public has been part of the culture for many years, and besides, going without them would often be physically uncomfortable. Masks are very new, and they are uncomfortable… and they are a constant reminder of how shitty things are right now. I don’t want to wear a mask in exchange for the “privilege” of going out, especially when so many people don’t seem to be folks I’d want to be around, anyway. Seriously… people are pissed off. They are right to be pissed. The world is full of suck right now. But I have enough angst without adding to it by being around people who are angry, hostile, and demanding.

Anyway… I could write more about this topic. In fact, I have another related topic that I wanted to write about today. But our new guitars arrived yesterday, so I think I’m going to stop here and practice. At least I’m using the pandemic to pick up a new skill… and the beauty of that is that at this point, no one wants to hear me play guitar anyway.