Tag Archives: Kids in the Hall

narcissists, religion, royals, social media, songs, videos, viral

“Let’s all get loaded and go to a tent revival!”

Last night, I happened to see a hilarious TikTok video on Facebook. Someone shared it in the Duggar Family News group— white people having a good old fashioned “praise break”. The TikTok user muted the original music and replaced it with “Linus and Lucy”, by Vince Guaraldi. It’s perfect, if you’ve ever seen A Charlie Brown Christmas. Incidentally, my beagle, Arran, reminds me more of Snoopy every day. Especially at dinner time.

We should all move when the spirit strikes us. Maybe if I did that, my beer filled spare tire would deflate a bit.

Someone in the group wrote:

When I was in college we often would get loaded and go to listen to the music at tent revivals. It was an enlightening experience. We did lose one friend, who while under the influence of LSD went up to be saved. He came back a fews days later…

Bwahahahhaha! I had a good laugh at that. It actually sounds like a great way to spend time with friends. I wish I had thought of that when I was young enough to appreciate the entertainment value of a good tent revival. Now that I’m as old as I am, I know that there’s more to religion than praising a higher power. It’s also a hotbed of corrupt people who want to control others.

Still, what a hoot it must be to watch a bunch of rhythm challenged folks catching the spirit and dancing like… well, very inhibited white guys. I’m not the greatest dancer myself, but I do think that’s something we should all learn how to do. Or, at least learn not to be ashamed when the mood strikes us to bust a move. I know… I’m sitting here laughing at white people dancing in church on TikTok. Maybe that’s hypocritical of me. The video would be much less embarrassing if these folks had not been taught to be so inhibited in the first place.

Sore-y guys. The party’s over.

Dammit, why didn’t I find this last month? Guaranteed to make you smile! That is, if you like banjo… and I do. Someday, maybe I’ll learn to play.

These guys are smokin’ hot!

I’m not sure what got me on this topic today. Currently, I am reading two new books. I don’t usually read two at a time, but one of the books is a good, old-fashioned, honest-to-God book. Bill usually falls asleep before I do, and I can’t read regular books in the dark. A couple of nights ago, after I finished reading Spare, I started reading a new Kindle book. The new Kindle book has literally been waiting years to be read. It’s actually a pretty compelling book, too, and not at all like the physical book I’m reading.

The physical book is a true crime story about two terrible murders that happened in Middlesex County, Virginia, back in 1990. The book is very good so far, although I’m having some trouble reading it, because the print is very small. It’s not available on Kindle, which is surprising. People are still interested in reading about this case. I am personally interested, because I grew up in neighboring Gloucester County. I remember when the murders happened. Hopefully, I will finish the book quickly, both because I’m eager to write about this crime, and because reading tiny print is hard on my eyes.

I will also probably write more dedicated posts about Prince Harry’s book, Spare. Maybe I’ll even do that today. I just decided that my first post of today should be different. A whole lot of people are writing reviews and making YouTube videos about Spare. I watched a couple of them yesterday. Reactions to Spare seem mixed. I would say more people like the book than don’t, with many people sympathizing with Harry and Meghan. However, a significant number of readers seem offended by Spare.

Sky News in Australia seem to think that Meghan Markle can “smell” weakness on King Charles III and is “out for blood”. Personally, I wouldn’t give her that much credit. If the British monarchy crumbles, it certainly won’t be because of Meghan Markle. However, the controversies raised by Harry’s book, coupled with the “woke brigade” and people who think the Royal family costs too much, could spell the end of the monarchy. I don’t know.

Personally, I wouldn’t call myself a royalist. I am simply a child of the 80s, and I grew up watching the British Royal Family because they were always in the news. Also, my earliest memories are of living in England. I will admit, though, that Queen Elizabeth II was an exemplary monarch, and it will be extremely difficult to follow her. She had an incredible devotion to service, and she was mostly very appealing to the public. I don’t think King Charles III can come close to his mother’s popularity. However, I do think William might, which is why I think he will eventually be King. Beyond that, who knows? I’ll probably be long dead by the time George could be King.

Harry’s book doesn’t do William any favors at all. Harry makes William sound like an asshole. He describes his interactions with William and Catherine, at least post marriage to Meghan, as tense and angry. He makes William sound unfriendly and intolerant, and Catherine sounds cold and snobby. I, for one, am taking Harry’s comments with a huge grain of salt, though. Because I think his wife is a liar, and is pushing an agenda. Also, I never heard of any of this type of behavior until Meghan came on the scene. Catherine, in particular, has never put a step wrong in public.

Sky News Australia is notoriously anti-Meghan and Harry. I take what they say with a huge grain of salt, because their coverage regarding Harry and Meghan has been very obviously biased and negative. However, if Meghan is really a narcissist, then we can expect a relentless smear campaign. That’s what narcissists do.

I hope Harry prepares, too. If he and Meghan ever have a falling out, she will use his book to cast him in a bad light. He was very frank in the book, with multiple revelations about mental health issues, drug abuse, and questionable behavior (wearing a Nazi uniform, anyone?). If they split up, and there is a custody dispute, it stands to reason that Meghan will point to that book as evidence that he’s not a fit parent. I hope it doesn’t come to that… but I still hear those pesky “N” chimes.

Well, I suppose it’s time to do some housekeeping chores and get back to reading my new books. In the spirit of getting loaded and going to tent revivals, may you all have a blessed Thursday. I encourage you to dance, but try not to emulate the kids on A Charlie Brown Christmas.

Bwaahahahahaaha!

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complaints, family, holidays

That “damned ham”, and our crappy Thanksgiving… Things are looking better today, though.

Our Thanksgiving dinner was not much better than Charlie Brown’s… This post is probably going to be depressing, so I offer fair warning.

I hope everyone who celebrated Thanksgiving had a good day yesterday. Our Thanksgiving, quite frankly, kind of sucked. It’s partly my fault, I guess. Bill and I just never got around to making any concrete plans for what we were going to make for the holiday. He bought a two pound raw ham, because it’s just us, and we don’t have tons of refrigerator space. Then, as the afternoon got later, I reminded Bill that it was Thanksgiving, and he said he’d bought the ham. This was “special”, because we almost never have ham that wasn’t sliced for sandwiches at the deli. Other than that, we had our usual mashed potatoes and peas, and no rolls, gravy, special dessert or anything.

That “damned ham” wasn’t that great. It had kind of a gray look to it, which gave me the willies. I’m used to ham that is pink. But it turned out the ham wasn’t spoiled or anything. I’m just not used to having one that isn’t cured. It was a bit dry and tasteless. I would have preferred roasted duck or chicken, I guess. Oh well.

Last year, we ordered our Thanksgiving dinner from a local restaurant that caters to Americans. This year, we didn’t see their ad for the dinner until it was too late to order. I also remember that last year, we had leftovers forever. Even half a turkey is too much for us to finish on our own, and it came with a bunch of sides. The food was delicious, but way more than enough for us.

I used to really enjoy cooking and was good at it, but Bill kind of took over that task some years ago. And he’s been working a lot and, I guess, was kind of tired and didn’t think to do anything particularly special yesterday. Neither of us really thought about what we should do for the holiday. He looked so tired last night that I suggested ordering sushi or something, but he said he wanted to cook the ham. So he did… At least the wine was good. We had an Amarone from Tuscany.

And we later had a talk that was kind of like this… Bill will probably never live down that “damned ham”, which wasn’t salty at all…

Thanksgiving used to be my favorite holiday. I used to love visiting my extended family in Virginia, hanging out with my aunts, uncles, cousins, and beloved Granny. Now, a number of aunts and uncles and my Granny are dead, and we have a pandemic going on that’s gotten worse. A number of Christmas markets were set to start and had even gotten their kiosks set up, only to be canceled at the last minute thanks to COVID-19… and then our Thanksgiving meal was like any other meal on any other night.

It’s not even so much the lack of special food that was disappointing… I guess what disappointed me was that it was like any other day. I miss seeing people and doing fun things, like going out to eat in restaurants. Things had been slightly more normal in the warmer months, but now that winter is approaching, the weather is grey, damp, and depressing; it’s cold; and everywhere in Europe is locking down again.

We thought about going to lunch, but we were waiting for a package to get here, and German delivery drivers don’t often just leave packages like they do in the States. Then, Bill was supposed to have a session with his therapist, but the therapist canceled because he was sick. So we just hung out at home, like we would on any other Thursday. All my friends were posting pictures of their family gatherings and food on Facebook. And there we were with that “damned ham”.

I should have reacted more like this…

Here in Germany, authorities are starting to implement a new system that requires even vaccinated people to get tested before they can go anywhere. It seems like too much of a pain in the ass to me, so we just skip it and stay home. And well… it just kind of sucks. The 2G+ system isn’t required everywhere– yet… but we’re also getting to the end of our vaccination efficacy, and some of Bill’s co-workers are getting boosters. I guess we’ll be getting ours soon, too.

To look on the bright side, at least we didn’t eat too much, didn’t get indigestion, don’t have tons of leftovers, and had a minimal mess to clean up. We won’t be gaining any weight. It was also nice to be with Bill yesterday, as it always is. He’s my favorite person. I was just kind of disappointed, I guess. Thanksgiving really is just another day in Germany. I think I’m missing home a little bit, too, even though holidays with my family can turn into an emotional minefield.

In 2014, I went to Virginia for what has, so far, been my last Thanksgiving at home. We went because my dad died that year, and we had a memorial for him. While we were there, I talked to my Uncle Carl, who sadly passed away about six weeks later. He had leukemia. But during that visit, he was still alive and we talked about a tenant who was living in a spare apartment he owned. He was talking about how he was trying to help him. As we were talking, my Uncle Bill approached and said to Carl, “That guy who is living in your apartment is a P.O.W.”

I looked up at Uncle Bill in confusion and he said, “Piece of work.” Apparently, the tenant who was living in my uncle’s spare apartment was not paying rent. However, he kept the apartment spotless. Carl wanted to help him because the tenant had a girlfriend who was pregnant. She was getting welfare assistance, so they couldn’t live together. Carl’s wife, Betty, couldn’t stand the tenant and was barely civil to him. Betty, also, has sadly passed on, as she was suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease at the time. Carl had been taking care of her until he got cancer. I’m so glad I was able to go home that year. Carl spoke at my dad’s memorial service. But it wasn’t much longer before Carl had a memorial service of his own, which of course I couldn’t attend.

I remember thinking, the last time I was “home” for Thanksgiving, that that would be the last time I saw some of the people who attended that year. I was right about that. In 2015 alone, I lost three uncles. By 2019, I’d lost an aunt and another uncle. Last year, I lost a cousin and my father-in-law. And in 2020, there was no Thanksgiving shindig, thanks to COVID-19, which continues to fuck things up in 2021, even though we have vaccines and new medications.

Even as I feel this “ennui”– which is pretty normal for me, because I often get a little depressed and nutty during the holiday season– I realize that I probably shouldn’t feel this way, since we are actually pretty fortunate. We did, after all, just have a fabulous trip to Austria, Croatia, and Slovenia, and we managed to do it before everything started shutting down again. But then I remind myself that feelings are just feelings. They usually pass. It’s not helpful to feel guilty for being sad.

We went to bed at our usual time last night. I had a vivid dream that involved an online friend of mine and occasional blog reader and commenter named Andrew. I dreamt that Bill and I took over a mini amusement park Andrew and his wife started. It was built into the side of a mountain, and there were train tracks around it. They had also lived in the park, which was all indoors. I remember that as Bill and I took it over, I had resolved to start slowly, building one attraction at a time, so we wouldn’t get overwhelmed. We had just built the carousel when I woke up.

Then, this morning, Bill gave me some news about his daughter. A couple of months ago, he remarked that she was “glowing” during their Skype session. I made an offhand comment that she was probably pregnant. Well… last night, they made the announcement. It’s funny, since I have only met her in person once, and didn’t actually see her on that Skype session where she was “glowing”. I usually don’t hang around when they chat. But when Bill mentioned the glowing look in September, I had a feeling she was about to expand her family. Guess my instincts were dead on again. Then, Bill gave me a cup of coffee and a Berliner that he got from the local bakery. That was better than that damned ham…

Anyway… enough of my whinging. Bill is working from home today. I am washing all the bedding, which is always a treat at bedtime. I love having fresh, clean sheets on a bed. And we do have much to be grateful for, like the fact that we have each other, plenty of food, and the means to put fresh sheets on the bed. At least we’re not in prison, right? There’s fresh hope for 2022, as Bill looks forward to becoming a grandfather again. And we can always have a special meal. Maybe we’ll go out for one this weekend, or even make one at home. Bill likes cooking with me… but I don’t like cooking with him. I’m not much of a team player. 😉

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complaints, condescending twatbags, rants

No good deed… road to hell… et al…

You know those old sayings? “No good deed goes unpunished…” “The road to hell is paved with good intentions…” And I’m sure there are others. You get the point, right?

This morning, having successfully downloaded the COVPass app, I decided to write a post for my travel blog about how to get the COVID-19 vaccine certificates and load them into a smart phone. This may not seem like a particularly difficult thing to do, but for Americans in Germany, it can be a process. I spent a couple of solid hours on the post, laboriously writing out the story of how I achieved success and each step I took. Then, once I was finished I shared the post in a few limited Facebook groups. Why limited? Because I’ve been in enough Facebook groups– particularly those affiliated with the military– to know that some people can’t simply be appreciative.

The very first comment I got on my link was from some guy who apparently isn’t a very careful reader. He wrote that my post was “good, but…” and then he proceeded to write about a point I’d missed about not needing to include the banking info. Except I hadn’t missed it. He just hadn’t read the post carefully. And then, to add insult to injury, he cut and pasted someone else’s long ass Facebook post about getting the app on an iPhone and left it in a comment. I guess no one needs to read that post I worked hard on this morning, after all.

I was already in a bit of a mood, probably because of hormones, so his comment immediately pissed me off. And I know it shouldn’t have. Mansplainers are a fact of life, particularly in military circles. There’s always some guy waiting to issue criticism or correction or, in more than one case in my experience, insults. Still, I don’t get paid to write this shit. I genuinely was trying to be helpful to the community when I wrote about my experience. It really felt belittling and dismissive to get that thoughtless comment from some guy who felt the need to be critical instead of kind. He obviously didn’t consider how much work went into that post… or he just didn’t care.

I know how these kids feel.

I suppose I could have given in to the urge to be bitchy. I kind of felt like ripping the guy’s nuts off, but realized that wouldn’t be a good look for me. So instead, I wrote, “Right, and I included that information in the post…” I also didn’t add what I was thinking, which was “that you obviously didn’t take the time to read carefully before you criticized…” You see, I wrote my post in a story form, rather than a cut and dry technical way. Maybe it was just too many words for him. Oh well… I can’t please everyone.

Seriously, though. It’s been a long time since I last posted in that group. It’s mainly because it’s a travel group, and I haven’t been traveling. Today, it occurred to me that I had something to add, and this guy has to piss all over it by criticizing it. I wonder if he realizes how that kind of response may have a negative effect on other people. I know I’ll think twice about posting information, since there’s a risk that some jerk’s thoughtless comment will irritate me. That would be a shame, since I’m going on seven years living in Germany this time and I have a lot to add about the subject. But I don’t like feeling aggravated… and it’s just as easy for me to let people find the content on their own, rather than trying to share it in a group.

I’m sure the guy doesn’t realize how irritating his comment is to me… although I understand that maybe this is an overreaction. Like I said… no good deed goes unpunished… the road to hell is paved with good intentions… I should have known better… I need a vacation. And now that I finally have the credentials, perhaps I can travel somewhere. If others find value in the work I did this morning, so much the better. I just wish people would stop and think before they indulge the impulse to be corrective… and make sure they read carefully beforehand. Because I’m passive aggressive, coming off my period, and completely over it, I went back and bolded, italicized, and partially underlined the part where I clearly wrote you don’t have to add the banking info. I suppose I could have also added this…

I’m crushing your head, you MANSPLAINER!

At least it’s Friday.

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Trump

Clorox and Lysol anal probes? Why not?

Like a lot of people, I was pretty shocked to read about Donald Trump’s musings that we all inject ourselves with Lysol and Clorox and get exposed to more UV rays. I was even more shocked this morning when I saw that many major news outlets, including The New York Times, ran articles imploring people not to follow The Donald’s advice. Alas, they are probably right to make the statement, since there are people out there who are stupid. Seriously stupid.

Remember the couple from Arizona who decided to ingest fish tank cleaner because Trump said a cleaning additive called chloroquine phosphate would help cure coronavirus? The wife wound up in critical condition and the husband went into cardiac arrest and died. So, for that reason, it makes sense for newspapers and other media outlets to instruct the public not to inject themselves with bleach and/or Lysol. Some people really do take Trump’s word as gospel. The papers would also do well to remind these folks not to pour sulfuric acid on their genitals, either.

Dude… you don’t even know what you’re talking about. STFU.

By now, it should be pretty clear that Trump doesn’t care much about your health. He cares about your vote and your dollars. And if you’re nice to him, maybe he’ll help you out, but only if you can do something for him. So I wouldn’t take his advice on most matters, but especially those that have to do with health. I have read comments from apologists who say Trump was being “sarcastic” and/or “thinking out loud”, and we should give him a break. My thing is, the orange disaster has been in office now for over three years. He should know that it’s not smart to make unrehearsed statements or discuss things with a hot mike. Decide what you’re going to say before you get on TV and make an ass of yourself… and/or make statements that could seriously harm people.

No, you weren’t being sarcastic, chicken dick. And even if you were, that would have been extraordinarily inappropriate under the circumstances. Why not act like a real leader?

People are still stubbornly championing this guy, though, despite his incredibly asinine comments. They whine about how we haven’t given Trump a chance. Like I said, he’s been in office for three very long years. He’s had a chance, and he’s fucking things up. I’m not surprised, since Trump’s talents mostly involve fucking… either actual fucking with women (and reportedly, girls) or figuratively fucking the people with whom he does business. I have yet to see a single shred of evidence that he cares about the people he’s supposedly serving. I have seen a lot of toddler-esque temper tantrums, blame shifting, passing the buck, and lectures to especially female reporters, demanding that they “calm down” and stop being so “nasty”.

I can barely stand to listen to him myself or look at his mouth, which always looks like a urinal to me… I have never felt this way about any other president in my lifetime. In fact, as much as I dislike Mitt Romney, I think he would be 10,000 times the president Trump is. And I never liked George W. Bush or Bill Clinton, but they are both about 50,000 times better… and Obama is not even in the same league as Trump. I never paid much attention to Obama when he was the president, but now I delight in hearing him speak because he doesn’t sound like an arrogant buffoon with an intellectual disability.

The jokes about Trump’s latest ridiculous suggestions have been fast and furious. One friend shared this photo with me.

Yeah… this is the ticket to health and prosperity!

Another shared this…

*May also kill you… but maybe death would be preferable?

I started thinking about the old jokes about anal probes from aliens. It occurred to me that some people are so brainwashed and lacking in critical thinking skills that if Trump suggested anal probes that were impregnated with Lysol and Clorox, there would be a contingent of people who would happily shove them up their asses. And The New York Times would write more articles warning people not to wear anal probes because Trump said so… but unfortunately, the people who most need that information would not be the type to read The New York Times… or anything else, for that matter.

Cartman probably admires Trump.
But Trump’s anal probes would probably be more like the Kids in the Hall’s version of anal probing…

Anyway… as usual, Trump lies and deflects and passes blame to others… and people still think he’s great. But maybe Trump really is onto something with the Lysol. My friend DeNeil says that Lysol’s original use was douching. Yes, it’s spring, and time for spring cleaning, but I don’t think I want to clean my private parts with Lysol. I guess somewhere along the line, someone came up with the idea that Lysol is better for killing germs on surfaces that aren’t made of flesh and blood.

Yow! The things we do for love!
This seems somewhat gentler…

Well, anyway, I think I’ll keep taking health advice from people who know something about it. But, like Anderson Cooper, I’ll still be shocked by the things Trump says and does… and then denies.

No Trump… you said it. It’s on camera. Own it. Grow up.

I think that’s about all I have the heart to write about today. I hope you’re all staying healthy and not listening to Trump, except maybe to laugh at him. And if he ever does suggest probing your anus with Lysol and Clorox, please turn the channel and debrief yourself. But don’t debrief yourself by taking off your underwear and sticking something caustic up your ass.

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musings

Wine and roses…

It’s Valentine’s Day, and it’s also the Friday before a legal holiday. When Bill was still in the Army, it wasn’t unusual for him to get off work the Friday before a legal holiday. This was especially true when he was posted in Stuttgart. We ended up taking a lot of awesome four day mini breaks during those two years.

This year, he’s taking today off from work because we’re finally going to Strasbourg, France for the annual wine expo. It’s a huge event and I’ve been hearing about how great it is for several years now, but for some reason, we’ve never managed to make it until this year. We’ve always gone to other places for President’s Day weekend. Last year, we went to France, but the area we went to was what one would consider the “real” France. We were on the edge of Champagne country, though not in a well-known or heavily touristed area.

I kind of didn’t want to go to France again this President’s Day weekend, mainly because this will be the third time we’ve visited in less than three months. There’s much to love about France, but there’s also much to love about the Netherlands, Belgium, and the Czech Republic. Unfortunately, Bill has to leave town again Monday, so we need to be somewhat close so we can get back and do all the stuff that needs to be done before he takes off on his latest TDY. Since I run a community wine and food Facebook group, it seems natural that I’d want to go to the expo, once and for all. It’ll probably wear me out and overwhelm me, but I think we’ll also spend some time touring Strasbourg. The last time we stopped and looked around the city was in 2008, and that was only for a few hours. This time, we’ll stay the weekend and explore.

It’s funny how life evolves in a year’s time… A year ago, we had a lovely Valentine’s Day dinner in Wiesbaden, then went to France. Our trip last year was somewhat spoiled by some pretty rotten events. This year, it looks like the tide is about to turn for the better on many levels. We’re feeling fairly optimistic about the future, even if it means another move this year. I’m not saying we’re definitely going to move, only that it’s more possible this year than it has been in previous years. On the other hand, chances are very good that we’ll be staying put. We’ll see what happens. I’d like to get some answers so we can make some plans… but then, this has pretty much been my life ever since I married a military man.

I used to hate Valentine’s Day, mainly because I was terminally dateless. In high school, I remember at the end of the school day on Valentine’s Day, there would be a long list of students read off over the loudspeaker who needed to stop by the office to pick up flowers. Looking back on it, I’m surprised that the school officials allowed flowers to be delivered to the school for students. Seems like it would be disruptive to their work, but what do I know about such things? Life can be quaint in small town Virginia, even though years after I graduated from Gloucester High School, it became embroiled in national controversy thanks to the efforts of a transgendered student who wanted to be allowed to use the boys room, even though he did not possess boy parts. People in Gloucester were outraged about it, but personally, I think it was much ado about nothing.

What I do remember that the list was kind of soul crushing for those of us who didn’t have a Valentine. I did have a boyfriend during my senior year. He brought me six roses on Valentine’s Day in 1990, as well as a big Valentine’s Day card that he’d made himself. He was an artist, and he said I reminded him on an elf, so he drew this elfin character with blonde hair and blue eyes. I’m not sure what I thought of it at the time, since our relationship was doomed even at that point. Now, I think I’d be very touched that he’d taken the time to make such a work of art for me. Maturity and perspective are good things.

I also remember junior year, our school newspaper ran a fundraiser that allowed people to pay for personal ads. Some of them were pretty “funny”… including a mean spirited prank someone played on me and another kid. A person took out an ad, posing as a guy in my class. It read: “To Jenny, our love would fill an ocean. Wanna go to the prom?” I rolled my eyes when I read it, since I knew it was intended to be a nasty joke to embarrass and humiliate me and the guy in question. Kids can be cruel, but time has a tendency to rectify things. That’s true on many levels this year.

Better dead than spread… Gosh, I miss this show.

Bill often gets me roses and candy on Valentine’s Day, but since we’re leaving town today, I’m sure he won’t bother. We’re going to be enjoying a lot of wine, though, and probably bringing a fair amount home. Maybe we’ll have a chance to have some interesting food, although I have a feeling we could be eating pizza tonight. No restaurant reservations on Valentine’s Day can lead to disaster. I will give my body a break from wine next week while he’s gone… give my liver a chance to regenerate and work on my latest jigsaw puzzle as I dream up political screeds for my blog.

Well… I suppose it’s time I packed a bag and got ready for our latest French adventure. I hope everyone enjoys their V.D. I know I will.

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