Tag Archives: Marines

book reviews, celebrities, music

Repost: Ann and Nancy Wilson of Heart write their life stories in Kicking & Dreaming…

I am reposting this May 2014 review I wrote of Ann and Nancy Wilson’s, book Kicking & Dreaming: A Story of Heart, Soul, and Rock & Roll. For some reason, I never shared it on my blogs, so technically it’s not a repost from them. It was originally published on PopRockNation, and appears here as/is.

I have admired Ann and Nancy Wilson, talented sisters from Seattle, for as long as I can remember. These two women are among the most respected women in rock & roll. They have enjoyed a career that has spanned over four decades and are longstanding members of a band that has had chart topping songs since the 1970s. Heart is one of a very few bands that has enjoyed that kind of success and Ann and Nancy Wilson were integral to making that success a reality.

Since I am myself a singer and I do love my rock & roll, it seemed natural that I’d want to read Kicking & Dreaming: A Story of Heart, Soul, and Rock & Roll. The book was published in 2012, but I just got around to reading it. This book was a lot of fun to read and made me like the Wilson sisters even more than I did before. Ghostwriter Charles R. Cross did a masterful job in making this book sound as if it came straight from the Wilson sisters. When I finished reading, I felt like I’d love to know them as friends.

Back in 2008, Ann Wilson released an album called Hope & Glory. It consisted of duets she did with a number of different famous singers like Elton John, Alison Krauss, Gretchen Wilson, and Wynonna. I remember thinking at the time that the album was very left wing and political, since the songs were mostly covers of anti-war songs. I am married to a man who is about to retire from the Army, so the subject of war is a personal one for me. I bought this album when it first came out and listened to it fairly regularly for a time. At the time, I had no knowledge of the Wilson sisters’ own history with the military. I didn’t know they were Marine brats.

Ann Wilson covers Neil Young’s “War of Man” with help from Alison Krauss.

Ann, Nancy, and Lynn Wilson were the three daughters of John (Dotes) and Lois Wilson, a Marine and his wife. As kids, they had the typical military brat upbringing, with constant moves stateside and abroad. They spent time in Asia, with a couple of years in Taiwan, then came back to California, where Ann had been born in 1950. Eventually, their father left the Marines and became a teacher. The family made a permanent home in Bellevue, Washington, where Ann and Nancy Wilson blossomed into talented musicians who would one day be world famous rock stars.

Kicking & Dreaming is a very engaging book. Each chapter starts with an amusing rundown of what the chapter is about… kind of like a synopsis one might read in a TV Guide. Each sister’s voice is identified before she spins an old story of growing up in the Pacific Northwest, then growing into a music career. The Wilson sisters were fortunate enough to attend schools that promoted the arts, and that helped lead them to learning their craft.

At the age of 12, Nancy Wilson was a good enough guitar player that she was teaching others how to play. Ann was becoming a notable singer, with a big voice that seemed custom made for singing rock & roll. She and Nancy cut their teeth on songs by Led Zeppelin and Elton John. In Heart’s early days, the band’s bread and butter was capably covering songs made famous by other people. They would sneak their original material into their set lists at high school proms and in clubs. Many of the earliest shows were in Canada, because one of Heart’s original members had been a Vietnam draft dodger and couldn’t be in the United States. Consequently, Heart was originally more of a Canadian act… and they even got to play Michael J. Fox’s prom!

Heart sings Magic Man, a song they explain in their book.

The Wilsons are both big fans of rock music, too. There are some charming stories in Kicking & Dreaming about Ann and Nancy growing up, going to concerts, and going on quests to see certain rock worthies in concert. In one chapter, Nancy relates the story of how she borrowed money to buy a ticket from a scalper to see Elton John in concert. The ticket turned out to be fake and she almost got arrested when she tried to use it. Undaunted, she scaled a fence and snuck into the venue to see Elton anyway… and many years later, he became a friend and was the very first person to hear their 2012 album, Fanatic, as they were producing it in a hotel room! Another anecdote is about how Nancy and a friend went on a fruitless quest to find Joni Mitchell’s farm in Canada. Ann and Nancy eventually did meet Joni years later. What struck me about the Wilsons is how grounded and normal they seem; here they are big stars themselves, yet they write of being starstruck when in the presence of people like Paul McCartney.

Kicking & Dreaming doesn’t shy away from the more painful topics, either. Ann and Nancy Wilson had to deal with sexism from music business executives and fellow rock stars alike. In one anecdote, the Wilson sisters write about touring with Lynyrd Skynyrd and, because they were women, being tasked to watch the young son of Lynyrd Skynyrd’s drummer, Artimus Pyle. Pyle basically dropped his kid off with Ann and Nancy and expected them to babysit while he went out on an “errand”. The boy ended up spending the night with the Wilson sisters. Artimus Pyle was later in the 1977 plane crash that killed several members of Lynyrd Skynyrd; he was seriously injured, but ultimately survived.

I also read about Ann Wilson’s struggles with obesity and alcoholism and the health problems that came from those issues. I read about both sisters’ quests for motherhood, which they both achieved, though not through giving birth themselves. They share details about their love affairs and friendships, some of which were with fellow famous people. It made for fascinating reading. I have a lot of empathy for both of them, even as I realize how lucky they are to be so talented and successful. Of course, being talented and successful is no barrier to personal demons and psychic pain; they have both dealt with their fair share. Fortunately, they are close to each other and their older sister, Lynn. They also have many lifelong friends, including Sue Ennis, a songwriter they met when they were just girls. Sue Ennis is a member of the Lovemongers, a band the Wilson sisters formed in the 1990s. She also teaches songwriting and music business classes at Shoreline Community College in Seattle, Washington.

An energetic Heart performance of “Straight On”.

I got a big kick out of the chapter in which Nancy Wilson writes about Sarah Palin’s political campaign ripping off Heart’s big hit, “Barracuda”. When Sarah Palin was a teenager, she played high school basketball and was so aggressive on the court that she was called “Sarah Barracuda”. Naturally, Heart’s big song seemed perfect for her campaign, except Heart never gave permission for her to use the song. No one in the band agreed with Palin’s Republican ideals. Moreover, the song, which was written in the 70s, is about the sleaziness of the music business. Nancy notes that it was kind of ironic that Sarah Palin’s camp would want to use it to promote Palin as a potential Vice President of the United States. In the long run, it turned out Palin’s use of “Barracuda” was lucky, since it got new people listening to it and wanting to know what the song meant.

“Barracuda” in 1977.

Kicking & Dreaming is a fantastic read for Heart fans or for anyone who just likes a rock & roll memoir. Ann and Nancy Wilson have dealt with all kinds of adversity throughout their long careers, yet they still seem like really cool women from Seattle who just want to rock and roll and are lucky enough to get paid to do it for millions of people. I highly recommend their book.

According to Nancy Wilson, Ann and Nancy got paid a lot of money to make this ad!

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Biden, disasters, Military, politicians, politics

A comparison of presidential condolences…

This morning, I read an article in the Washington Post about the father of one of the Marines who died last week in Afghanistan. The father, whose name is Mark Schmitz, was at Dover Air Force Base, waiting for his son’s remains to be repatriated. Schmitz’s son, Jared, was 20 years old when he perished. Schmitz was reportedly angry, and initially didn’t want to speak to Joe Biden. He didn’t vote for Biden, and he blames the president for the fact that his son died.

But then Mr. Schmitz changed his mind, and he and his ex wife did speak to President Biden, just days after losing Jared to a suicide bomber in Afghanistan. Schmitz said he “glared” hard at the president, so Biden paid more attention to Schmitz’s ex, speaking of his son, Beau, who died in 2015. I suspect that Biden might have thought that reminding the grieving family members that he’s lost a child, too, was his clumsy attempt at empathy.

Naturally, Mr. Schmitz didn’t want to talk about Beau Biden. He wanted to talk about Jared, who died much too young. And Schmitz is pissed off at Biden because his son is gone. He said to Mr. Biden, “Don’t you ever forget that name. Don’t you ever forget that face. Don’t you ever forget the names of the other 12… And take some time to learn their stories. ”

According to Schmitz, Biden’s response was “I do know their stories.”

Schmitz did offer “kudos” to Biden for one thing. Biden pulled out a card that he carries in his breast pocket that shows the number of Americans who have died in Iraq and Afghanistan. At the end of the card, Biden had written “Plus 13.” Schmitz was apparently glad to see that Biden wasn’t totally full of it, even if his comments seemed “scripted and shallow”. Schmitz also recognized that the meeting must have been very hard for Joe Biden. Schmitz said:

“It had to be one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do. You make some calls, here’s the aftereffect. It’s got to be difficult. I’m not saying it was easy at all. But you can’t run up and hug someone as if you had nothing to do with it. It’s not going to work that way when you’re commander in chief.”

Other people were a lot angrier at Biden. One person said she hoped he burned in Hell. Roice McCollum, the sister of Ryan McCollum, one of the fallen, said this to the Washington Post:

“He cannot possibly understand… My dad and I did not want to speak to him. You cannot kneel on our flag and pretend you care about our troops. You can’t f— up as bad as he did and say you’re sorry. This did not need to happen, and every life is on his hands. The thousands of Afghans who will suffer and be tortured is a direct result of his incompetence.”

As I read this account of the “tough” meeting Biden had with the families of the mostly very young American servicemembers who died in Afghanistan, I couldn’t help but remember an incident from October 2017 involving Donald Trump. On October 4, 2017, there was a deadly ambush in Niger, and two weeks after the event, Donald Trump made phone calls to family members of the fallen Soldiers. One of the calls he made was to Myeshia Johnson, widow of La David Johnson. La David Johnson was one of four Army Soldiers who had died in the ambush.

Prior to making the phone call, Trump was advised by former Marine General John Kelly, who lost his own son in Afghanistan when the 29 year old stepped on a land mine. Kelly told Trump a story about how his best friend, Joe Dunford, was Kelly’s casualty officer, and said something along the lines of this:

Kel, he was doing exactly what he wanted to do when he was killed. He knew what he was getting into by joining that 1 percent. He knew what the possibilities were because we’re at war. 

In my 2017 blog post about Trump’s interaction with La David Johnson’s family, I wrote:

It seems to me that if you are two guys in the military, brothers in arms, as it were, it would make sense to say something like what General Kelly’s friend and casualty officer said. People who serve in the military understand that there is risk when a war is going on. They can talk to each other about the business of war, because they have a concept of it. They understand the job; they’ve been through the training and indoctrination; and saying something like “He was doing exactly what he wanted to do…” makes sense. However, I don’t think the same thing is true for family members of the fallen.

In the course of Trump’s phone call intended to express condolences to Myeshia Johnson, he forgot La David Johnson’s name. He told Mrs. Johnson, who was pregnant at the time, that her husband “knew what he signed up for… but it hurts anyway.” And then Trump said, “He was doing exactly what he wanted to do…” If memory serves, Trump also repeatedly referred to La David Johnson as “your guy” to his grieving wife.

I don’t know why La David Johnson joined the Army, and I certainly don’t know what his wife knew about her husband’s motives for serving. Maybe he wanted to be a Soldier because of a sense of duty, or maybe he just wanted the money and benefits. Maybe it was a combination of factors that influenced him to join. But I am willing to bet that Johnson would have preferred to have been with his wife and children to being in Niger. Even if Johnson actually did prefer to be working in Niger, as a spouse, I sure wouldn’t want to hear that my husband preferred a war zone to being at home with me. I’ll bet Mrs. Johnson didn’t want to hear that, either.

When Mrs. Johnson later complained about how tone deaf and insensitive Trump’s phone call was, Trump didn’t apologize. Instead, he tweeted “I had a very respectful conversation with the widow of Sgt. La David Johnson, and spoke his name from beginning, without hesitation!”

Meanwhile, Myeshia Johnson said that Trump’s phone call had made her feel worse. She said, “… I was very angry at the tone of his voice and how he said he couldn’t remember my husband’s name.”

As people condemned Trump’s graceless handling of the Niger ambush, Trump took the opportunity to throw shade at past presidents. He said, “If you look at President Obama and other presidents, most of them didn’t make calls – a lot of them didn’t make calls.”

Now… I’m not saying that the families of the fallen who met with Joe Biden are wrong to be angry. I’m sure that a lot of them didn’t vote for Mr. Biden, and they think Donald Trump would have handled leaving Afghanistan better. They see Biden as “weak”. He has a very different personality than Trump has. He doesn’t come across with as much charisma, force, or bluster. They perceive Biden’s less flashy personality as less effective, and they blame Biden for “fucking up” the exit from Afghanistan as he ended America’s longest war.

Personally, I am shocked that only 13 Americans have been lost, so far, in the departure from Afghanistan. I think if Trump had been in charge, the fallout would have been much worse. Moreover, I am impressed by the number of people who were successfully evacuated from Afghanistan. According to the Washington Post, over 124,000 people have left Afghanistan alive. Yes, we did lose 13 Americans last week, and that’s a terrible thing. And there’s nothing anyone can say or do to make the families of those who died feel better. But, I do think Mr. Biden’s attempt at offering condolences was much better than Trump’s attempts to comfort the bereaved.

Some people seem to have forgotten that Donald Trump has historically had no empathy for other people’s pain and suffering. I remember what he said about the late John McCain, who was captured and tortured in Vietnam. Donald Trump, who never put on a uniform because of his “bone spurs”, called John McCain a “fucking loser”. Trump also said of McCain, “He’s not a war hero. He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren’t captured.”

Trump also memorably referred to members of the military as “losers and suckers”, having canceled a trip to the Aisne-Marne American Cemetery near Paris in 2018. At the time, Trump falsely claimed rainy conditions had made it impossible for the helicopter to fly, and the Secret Service wouldn’t drive him there. The truth is that Trump was worried about his hair getting mussed in the rain, and he didn’t think honoring the American war dead was important enough to risk messing up his hair. According to an article written by Jeffrey Goldberg for The Atlantic:

In a conversation with senior staff members on the morning of the scheduled visit, Trump said, “Why should I go to that cemetery? It’s filled with losers.” In a separate conversation on the same trip, Trump referred to the more than 1,800 marines who lost their lives at Belleau Wood as “suckers” for getting killed.

As I read about people who are angry at President Biden because 13 Americans died at an airport suicide attack in Kabul, then they criticize Biden’s attempts to express condolences and apologize, I can’t help but wonder how they would have reacted to Trump in the same situation. People died during the Trump administration, too. I wonder if Trump would have met personally with those family members, having remembered each and every servicemember’s name and story. I wonder if he would have pulled out a card with the names of the fallen written down. I also wonder if there would have been more dead servicemembers sent home.

The United States has been engaged with Afghanistan for 20 years. A lot of money, time, and talent has been wasted on a country whose people are still living in a different era. It was time for the conflict to end. I don’t think there was a way to win in this situation. It was bound to be messy.

Many people, safe at home, are blaming Biden. Some are also blaming military leaders, claiming that they should have recognized the threats and addressed them. I guess it’s only natural to try to second guess what people do and the decisions they make in a war zone. I just wonder if people ever stop and think about it longer than a minute.

My husband spent thirty years in the Army. He never went to Afghanistan, but he did go to Iraq. Bill never talks about what should have been done in Afghanistan, in spite of his experience. He can’t speak to what should have been done, because he wasn’t there. Most of the people who are criticizing the president and the military don’t have a concept of what was going on in Afghanistan, beyond what was in the news.

I get that the families of the fallen are grief stricken. I understand that many of them preferred Trump to Biden, and this is a great opportunity for them to cement their hatred of Biden. But, as the wife and daughter of military veterans, I can’t help but notice the difference between Biden’s style of presidential condolences and Trump’s. I think I would much prefer Biden’s clumsy attempts to comfort– talking about his son, Beau, and compulsively looking at his dead son Beau’s watch– to Trump’s tone deaf attempts– forgetting the names of the fallen, bickering with widows on Twitter, and falsely claiming that he cares more than other presidents did in similar circumstances.

In my view, Donald Trump would not have done any of this better. It probably would have been an even bigger fiasco. More people would have died, and fewer would have been evacuated. And when it came time to comfort the grieving, history shows that Trump would have probably really fucked things up even more.

I have never served in the military myself, but I have been surrounded by veterans my whole life. One thing I’ve learned is that everyone who serves knows that there’s a chance they could be killed. That’s something that comes with the territory of military service. But, if you think about it, there’s a risk in everything we do. Hell, nowadays, just breathing can get you killed.

I’m glad that the people who met with Joe Biden had the chance to look him in the eye, speak to him, accept hugs from him, or even tell him they hope he rots in Hell. Under Trump’s watch, they would have probably just gotten a phone call at the very most, with glib cliches about “knowing what they were getting into” and “dying doing exactly what they wanted to do…” coupled with forgotten names, awkward stammering, and no chance to respond.

Joe Biden didn’t kill those people who died in Afghanistan last week. They were killed by a terrorist. The young man who strapped 25 pounds to explosives to himself, went to the gate, and blew himself up for his god is the one who did the killing and maiming. If anyone should be blamed for those senseless deaths, it’s that guy, and people like him. The last military plane left Afghanistan this morning. Thank God for that. I hope we don’t ever go back. I congratulate Joe Biden for finally ending our 20 year war with Afghanistan… and for having the courage, humility, and decency to meet with the people who are grieving the tragic loss of their family members.

There’s a stark contrast in Biden’s sense of duty compared to Trump’s… Again, from my blog post from 2017, regarding La David Johnson’s death:

La David Johnson was laid to rest yesterday.  His devastated widow was there with the children and Sergeant Johnson’s other loved ones.  Mrs. Johnson kissed her husband’s casket goodbye as she clutched two folded American flags. 

Trump, by contrast, was playing golf, as usual… and, ever classy, he posted on social media as mourners were preparing for the funeral…

What a tragic disaster this man is.

Think about it.

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book reviews, Military

Repost: Keeping Faith: A Father-Son Story About Love and The United States Marine Corps

In the wake of the decision to pull troops out of Afghanistan, I’ve decided to repost this review I wrote of Frank Schaeffer’s book, Keeping Faith: A Father-Son Story About Love and The United States Marine Corps. Frank co-wrote this book with his youngest child, his son John. I discovered Schaeffer about 20 years ago, when I was hanging out on a messageboard dedicated to people who had attended Pensacola Christian College. Schaeffer was raised in Switzerland by two famous missionary parents, and he had written a trilogy of very entertaining novels about the experience. Someone on the PCC board recommended them, so I read and loved them. He’s also written many non-fiction books about religion, some of which I have read and reviewed for Epinions.com.

Schaeffer had no experience with the U.S. military when his son, John, decided to join the Marines just before 9/11. He wrote several books about his son’s military experience, as well as a great novel called Baby Jack. I wrote this review for Epinions in February 2004. I believe John has since left the Marines. It appears here as/is. I see by visiting Frank’s Web site that he’s written a new book about Trump. Guess I’ll be downloading that one, too.

First off, let me preface by commenting that Keeping Faith: A Father-Son Story About Love and The United States Marine Corps (2002) by Frank Schaeffer and his son, John Schaeffer, is a wonderfully honest and poignant book. Frank Schaeffer, an author of three novels (two at the time this book was published), is the father of three children. His older two, daughter Jessica, and son, Francis, had done what all of the other kids in Schaeffer’s social class had done and, after graduating from private high schools, gone off to private colleges.

Youngest son John had always been a good athlete and a talented writer (he specializes in poetry and aspires to one day own a bookstore and write for a living), but he was not a good student. Nevertheless, Frank and his wife, Genie, had always assumed that John would follow in his older siblings’ footsteps and go to college, if not for academics, then for athletics. Instead, John decided to join the Marines, an entity that was totally foreign to the Schaeffer family. John Schaeffer wrote that he was not particularly concerned with what his parents thought about the direction of his life, although he did listen to what they had to say and respected their opinions. He had joined the Marines without consulting his parents. I got the feeling that this decision really hurt Frank Schaeffer’s feelings, especially when he pictured his boy coming home in a casket, draped with an American flag.

Frank Schaeffer confesses that he had always felt particularly close to John because his youngest boy had come along when he was “supposed to have children”. The elder Schaeffer became a father for the first time at age eighteen. His second child arrived when he was twenty-one. John was born when Frank was fully twenty-eight years old “almost a grown up”, he says. He got to enjoy his youngest child. I also got the sense that he shared a sense of adventure with John as well as writing talent. Frank Schaeffer grew up the son of American Calvinist missionaries based in Switzerland. He didn’t learn to read until he was eleven years old, vacationed in Portofino, Italy every summer with his three sisters. Schaeffer chronicles his experiences in his novels, Portofino and Saving Grandma, both of which I have read and reviewed on Epinions.com. Frank Schaeffer enjoys cooking, and his son John loves his father’s Tuscan pizza. Frank enjoys his youngest son very much, but I got the feeling it went beyond the fact that they were merely blood. It seemed to me that they were also very good friends.

This sense of friendship was apparent as Frank and John Schaeffer wrote about how they spent their last summer together before boot camp. John had a girlfriend named Erica whom Frank did not like. Frank found Erica cold and distant. She didn’t want to spend any time with the Schaeffer family and Frank felt that she was taking his son away from him, especially since there was precious little time left before boot camp would begin. And this is where the honesty of this book comes in. Readers begin to read about situations in which Schaeffer behaved in ways that may seem, quite frankly, embarrassing. Many people would not want have wanted to admit to admit to some of the behavior that Schaeffer writes that he exhibited in the face of losing his son to boot camp. He comes across as, well, a father hen facing an empty nest.

And then when John starts basic training, we get to read about Frank’s angst at never hearing from his son and the constant letters that he sends his boy. We also read from John’s side as he experiences life on Parris Island– the constant harassment that he suffered as a Marine recruit– the abuse that others suffered, especially those deemed “Fat Bodies or Diet Trays (overweight recruits)”. John’s letters home are painfully short with one or two lines of information and maybe a request or two. He asks for Power Bars and Gatorade, which Frank gladly sends on several occasions. The treats get stashed in a foot locker for the drill instructors to eat or dole out to all of the recruits. Some of the recruits get no mail at all, but John gets a lot of mail– mostly courtesy of his father. He actually gets punished for this a few times.

I found the description of the basic training fascinating. My husband has often told me tales of training, but he didn’t enlist and he’s in the Army. It was interesting to read another point of view. I also used to live in South Carolina, which is where Parris Island is located. I was living there when John Schaeffer was in basic training. In fact, he wrote of having to be evacuated for Hurricane Floyd. He didn’t mention the storm by name, but I know that was the storm he was referring to because it had the distinction of causing one of the worst traffic tie ups in hurricane evacuation history– and it never even really struck land.

I also found John’s stories of the Marines doing what they could to get their fellow recruits through the course inspiring. He wrote of one recruit who developed double pneumonia right before the final 52 hour test, called the Crucible. There was talk that the recruit would not be allowed to take the test. The other recruits, unbeknownst to the sick one, split up the heavier contents of his pack, and carried his load for him. The Senior Drill Instructor said he would get him through the Crucible if he had to carry him through it himself. In fact the recruit played the injured recruit during the Crucible whenever the test called for an injured recruit, and he ended up passing and becoming a Marine.

We are also treated to several scenes where drill instructors dispense fatherly advice coated in profanity. For instance, they tell their recruits “not to get married and buy a bunch of stupid crap for Suzie Rottencrotch” the minute they get out of basic training– instead they should hold off until they make rank and can afford it. They also advise their recruits that there will be plenty of sex to be had once they are Marines and a lot of women will want to “nail them.” But they shouldn’t try to “bang sixteen year olds” because they could go to jail for that in the Corps. And they add, “Fer Chrissakes, don’t get any of ’em pregnant!”

Interspersed within these inspiring stories are John’s poems, stories of life at home in Massachusetts, and Frank’s yearnings to hear from his son. At one point in the book, John writes home to tell his parents that he has decided to change his job once he gets out of training. The job change means that he will add another year to his contract. Frank is angry about this change of events and scolds his son for not consulting him first, or at least talking to the one person the family knows who is a Marine. Frank’s reason for being angry is that the training will require John to move further away from him for a longer time. Originally, he would have trained in the DC area, but his new job would require him to go to Arizona and then Florida. He wrote an angry letter to his son about this development and then got in a fight with his wife… more embarrassing scenes that one would think might be too embarrassing to include in this book. But that’s what makes this book so good. It’s quite honest and Schaeffer shows his very human side. Incidentally, my first reaction to this scenario was that Frank Schaeffer was really in for a rude awakening. Service life is all about frequent moves and going wherever the government decides to send you. I’m sure Frank Schaeffer knows all of this now, though. And I’m sure he’s allowed his son to grow up and distance himself a bit.

As it turned out, once John graduated from basic training, he completed some training in North Carolina, then he ended up spending eighteen months in Arizona while he waited for his security clearance. He had left for Arizona four days after meeting Mollie, a woman to whom he really felt attracted. This part of the book was interesting, as John wasn’t doing anything in particular but waiting. It was a time in which he proved his allegiance to the Corps, since he had injured his foot and had to have surgery. He had the chance to leave the Marines, go to college, be with Mollie. He stayed in, went to Pensacola, and became an exemplary example of a Marine, just in time for September 11th, 2001. According to the back jacket, John Schaeffer is currently serving in Maryland.

As expected, this book does do some bashing of the other services, especially the Army. As the wife of a Soldier, I found myself getting a little annoyed at the generalization that all Army Soldiers are slobs. But then again, I know that the Marines have the toughest physical standards of all of the services. I know they take exceptional pride in their appearance. I’m also an Air Force daughter and I used to hear my dad bashing the Army, too (though not quite as much as this book did). I also found myself laughing aloud quite a lot.

This is a great book and I thoroughly enjoyed it, as much as I have enjoyed Frank Schaeffer’s novels. I read passages of it aloud to my husband, who also wants to read the book now that I’m finished. If you have a loved one serving in the Armed Forces, especially if he or she is a Marine, this book might be a worthy investment of your time.

Frank Schaeffer has written two follow ups to Keeping Faith, Faith of Our Sons, and Voices From The Front.

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Trump

General Mattis becomes the “Meryl Streep” of generals!

As the world watches Donald Trump’s ridiculous daily antics, this morning I got the opportunity to hear former Secretary of Defense General James Mattis speak. Mattis is a retired Marine general, and he is very well respected among most veterans of every stripe. I have never met Mattis myself, but I can tell from listening to him that he is a great leader. He balances strength and resolve with care and appreciation for his followers. I can easily tell why so many veterans– particularly Marines– really respect this man.

Donald Trump hired Mattis to be the Secretary of Defense in January 2017, and he lasted until December 2018. Mattis was probably one of the only people Trump appointed to his cabinet who was actually competent. In fact, Mattis was so competent and suited for the job that he realized he couldn’t do it properly with Trump as his boss. So, instead of sticking around and messing things up by following Trump’s orders, Mattis decided to resign. Although he responsibly gave Trump plenty of notice when he decided to resign, Trump responded to the general’s decision by ousting Mattis immediately, completely dismissing what Mattis did in the almost two years he served in his role as Secretary of Defense.

Mattis, God bless him, wasn’t at all crushed by Trump’s sudden dismissal. In fact, I’m sure he was relieved to be able to go sooner than he planned. It sucks to have to deal with supreme narcissists like Trump. They are completely unreasonable and have no regard for other people. If you aren’t completely with a narcissist’s agenda, you are completely against them, and they declare you an enemy. Narcissists are terrible bosses; they aren’t capable of delegating authority and they don’t work well in teams, because they don’t cooperate. Trump has a LOT of enemies, and I’m sure most of them have suffered greatly at his tiny orange hands. Good for General Mattis for handling Trump with so much wit and aplomb. I’m sure working with 45 was a daily trial, and I commend Mattis for doing his best and staying for almost two years. I consider him a true patriot and a hero.

As a veteran, Mattis has no doubt met a lot of people like Donald Trump. Obviously, General Mattis knows exactly how to deal with these people. It’s a skill I’m sure he’s had to hone over decades in a career that is rife with people who are in the business of war. Narcissists are attracted to positions of leadership. In fact, most leaders have some narcissistic traits because otherwise, they’d never survive the role. But while good leaders draw the line at being confident and having great self-respect, toxic narcissists like Trump and his ilk go beyond that line and use other people to push their agendas. It’s very damaging, and sometimes even dangerous, to be in close proximity to these types of people.

“I’m not just an overrated general; I am the greatest– the world’s MOST overrated!” Mattis reminds everyone that Trump also called Meryl Streep an “overrated actress”. Meryl Streep is, of course, fucking brilliant.

There are many, many narcissistic, power hungry types like Trump in the military. Bill went to war with one of them– a colonel who was slated to be a general. I remember getting phone calls from Iraq and listening as Bill compared his boss to his former wife. I knew things were seriously miserable for him when I heard that.

Bill’s ex wife put him through many years of hell, mainly because she refused to cooperate, collaborate, or compromise, and would not listen to reason. Even though she had never served in the Army, she used to try to tell Bill how things are run in the Army. She would unilaterally make major decisions about things like household finances and family planning, and took “my way or the highway” stances regarding her decisions. She would never include Bill in her plans, so he would be perpetually kept off balance. Here are just a few examples of crazy, self-defeating things she did:

  • She traded in his car without his knowledge and bought two new ones.
  • She once bought a house in very poor condition because she thought it looked like one she’d seen in a snow globe.
  • She used Bill’s pay stubs to get a mortgage, which she let go into default after they divorced.
  • She insisted on handling all of the finances, then royally fucked them up.
  • She stopped using birth control without telling him, resulting in a “surprise” pregnancy when they could ill afford a new baby. She later claimed her birth control “failed”.
  • She used the money for their mortgage to take a trip to the LDS temple.
  • She bought new furniture, carpeting, and landscaping while Bill was away at Army training, even though his job was temporary.

Bill could never argue with his ex, because she was so domineering and controlling, and he was so kind, considerate, trusting, and empathetic. She’d wear him down with the usual narcissist’s bag of tricks– yelling, insulting, giving him the silent treatment, alienating the children and his parents, threatening, and even engaging in physical and sexual abuse. When I met Bill, his ex wife was happily taking all but $600 of his monthly pay and had him convinced that he totally deserved this wretched lifestyle. She made him believe that the failure of their marriage was entirely his fault, and that God would never forgive him for leaving his family, even though SHE had presented him with divorce papers and was shacking up with her current victim in the house she’d bought without Bill’s consent. Bill lived for TDY assignments, because it meant he’d get per diem pay, which he could save up to pay his bills. Fortunately, that job required a lot of travel.

Life with a narcissist…

Then Bill started dating me, and I helped him change his mind about letting his ex wife take all of his money. He stopped giving in to her ridiculous demands and took back his power. It’s taken a long time and a lot of effort, but Bill has almost completely recovered from his time with his ex wife. His finances are vastly improved, and he has work that he enjoys and at which he excels. Even one of his previously estranged daughters has started talking to him again. But it took many years to get to where we are.

When Bill told me his boss in Iraq reminded him of his time with his ex wife, I knew things were really bad in the war zone. Bill wasn’t that worried about being “at war”. Instead, most of his stress came from dealing with his narcissistic boss, who was doing his best to drive him crazy while they were in a war zone. He would do things like force Bill to hang out with him when he should have been resting, insult him in front of his peers, force him to practice golf when he had no interest in golf, and make personal, disparaging comments about Bill’s likes and dislikes. Naturally, I was furious about what his boss was doing, because war is hard enough when all you have to do is fight the enemy. It’s much worse when a so-called comrade and leader gets his kicks by being a complete asshole.

Fortunately, the story has a happy ending. Bill survived his time in Iraq, and we moved to Germany the first time. Bill’s war zone boss interfered with Bill’s career while we were in Germany, which forced us to move back to the States a year early. However, Bill did well enough in his first Germany job and subsequent positions that he was remembered after he retired from the Army. In 2014, when Bill left the Army, he was quickly hired to come back to Germany. As for Bill’s ex boss– he was very publicly fired from the Army in 2011. He never did pin on as general.

Although Trump is the king of malignant narcissists, he’s also very foolish and incompetent. This week has been particularly cringeworthy, as we’ve watched Trump crumble in the face of potential impeachment. He’s made some ridiculous and embarrassing mistakes in his dealings with other world leaders. And while there are still a lot of people who remain duped by him, I’ve seen some hopeful signs that some folks are finally waking up to reality. And people like Jim Mattis, who is probably one of the few people who don’t have a problem cutting Trump down to size, are voicing their contempt for the so-called “stable genius”. A lot of Trump supporters also support Mattis, so it’s good to hear someone on “their side” shining the sunlight of reality on who Trump is and why he’s so horrible for the world.

I have some hope that we will survive the madness of Trump’s presidency. I hope that people are jarred out of complacency and will vote. I just filled out my absentee ballot last night. It’s not for a major election, but watching the shitshow of the past few years has reminded me of how powerful and important voting is, even if I do it absentee in a state where voting against Republicans seems futile. This is a practice run for next year. I don’t know if we’ll still be in Germany in 2020, but I will likely be voting for everyone BUT Republicans. Unless, of course, General Mattis ever decides he wants to be president and runs as a Republican… I might consider voting for him. In fact, I will continue to vote for decent human beings over big names, unless the people behind the big names have truly done something great to deserve their big name. Trump never achieved anything without screwing someone else over… so I predict that someday, we’ll be calling him the world’s most overrated president. And given that so many already think he’s a complete disaster, I’d say being called an “overrated president” is really saying something. He’s overrated for being called the worst president, EVER.

General Mattis is absolutely right. It’s not really an insult to be compared to someone like Meryl Streep. Trump may think Mattis and Streep are “overrated”, but they have both proven their greatness. As Mattis said, “I earned my bone spurs in battle. Trump earned his in a doctor’s office.” On his very best day, Trump isn’t fit to scrub the shitstains out of Mattis’s shorts. And Mattis has proven that by the graceful and skillful way he’s handled himself post Trump.

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Trump

America threw up all over her wedding…

Silly beagle Zane woke me up extra early this morning, needing to go outside and pee. I couldn’t fall back into sleep, so I started looking at the news. I had seen this headline yesterday about a couple who had a MAGA (Make America Great Again) themed wedding. When it came across my feed again, I decided to read about how Jeff and Audra Johnson celebrated their wedding Trump style in Kalamazoo, Michigan on July 4th.

The new Mrs. Johnson wore a wedding dress with Trump’s last name emblazoned on the train. She says it’s an “Andre Soriano original”, and was actually made out of a MAGA flag. Andre Soriano, for your edification, is a celebrity fashion designer and reality TV star who is known for his provocative, custom made Trump gowns.

The bridesmaids wore bright blue dresses and red MAGA hats. Her husband wore his Marine dress uniform, while his groomsmen looked a bit like they just got off work at a True Value hardware store. They all wore matching red vests, MAGA hats, and red ties. The bride had her nails done like American flags, while the groomsmen wore “Don’t tread on me” cufflinks.

The maid of honor, reportedly not a fan of Trump’s, declined to wear a MAGA hat and, instead, wore a simple red ball cap. Audra Johnson’s father declined to attend the wedding at all, texting the couple with the message “As long as you support that racist in the White House, I won’t be attending your wedding.”

They didn’t confine the Trump theme to their outfits, either. The tables at the reception were decorated with anti-abortion “heartbeat bills”. Mrs. Johnson reportedly said, “It looked like America threw up all over my wedding and I’m not sorry.” How classy.

Far be it for me to criticize how a person decides to fashion his or her wedding, although I guess I do find it kind of an odd idea to turn one’s wedding into a love fest for a president, especially one as horrible and polarizing as Trump is. I’m not sure if this event was intended to be funny or if the couple really thinks Trump cares about veterans (or anyone else, for that matter). If that’s what they honestly think, they aren’t very bright. Just look at how he treated John McCain… or, if you need a more recent example, Myeshia Johnson, wife of fallen soldier La David Johnson, who received a tone deaf phone call from Trump telling her that “her guy” knew what he signed up for and was doing what he wanted to be doing. I’m sure being killed in Nigeria instead of being at home with his wife and children was at the top of Johnson’s favorite things to do.

It does look like the celebrants had fun, and I have nothing against that. I don’t know if they’re religious people, but people who vote Republican often espouse Christian beliefs. It’s strange that Christians would align with a man who has been married three times, has openly boasted about sexually harassing and assaulting women, has no tolerance for non-whites, mocks prisoners of war, and is taking away anything in the government that doesn’t either give him more power or make rich people even wealthier, while gutting benefits for the poor. It sounds to me like this couple is extremely misguided. Also… I think Mr. Johnson should remember that he’s not supposed to wear his uniform to promote politics or advocate for a particular politician. Since Johnson is described as a “veteran”, perhaps he’s no longer in the military, in which case he probably shouldn’t wear the uniform at all… unless he actually retired from the military.

A couple of days ago, I happened to see a clip of Donald Trump when he was on Saturday Night Live. It was well before his “presidential” days. He wore a piss yellow colored suit as dancers sang a mock jingle for a fictional chicken wings restaurant…

I think people like the Johnsons probably like Trump for things like the above clip. He was a reality TV star who rubbed elbows with Howard Stern and “fired” people on The Apprentice. A certain segment of the American population think Trump is cool because he says what they’re thinking. A lot of them aren’t actually bad people… they’re simply ignorant. I’m sure Jeff Johnson would not be so hot on Mr. Trump if Trump decided his new wife, Audra, was “his type” and tried to grab her by the pussy. And yet, Trump has done that to other men’s wives on multiple occasions. He’s even admitted to doing it, and with much pride.

I’m sure if Mr. and Mrs. Johnson decide to have a baby, and Mrs. Johnson or their fetus has some kind of problem that necessitates terminating a pregnancy, but the procedure is outlawed due to the “heartbeat bills”, they might think twice about their blind support of such a law. Perhaps if, God forbid, Mrs. Johnson suffers a miscarriage and is criminally investigated for potentially causing her miscarriage, they might think again about whether or not Trump is so awesome. And when the medical bills come, and certain procedures aren’t covered by health insurance because they’re “immoral”, or if the Johnsons don’t even have health insurance because the Affordable Care Act is abolished, will they still think Trump rocks as they slide into bankruptcy?

I know some people don’t care about things Trump says and does, particularly when it doesn’t affect them personally. Some people only care that he’s a “Republican”, even though he really wasn’t a Republican until he decided to run for president. Americans love entertainers, and we seem to have a love affair with shiny narcissists, even if they have no empathy. Too many of us get blinded by glitz and smoke and mirrors. We don’t see what’s under the bullshit until it’s too late, and everything starts to stink.

I get why some people don’t like liberal politics. I didn’t consider myself a liberal until I had been voting for years. I just can’t stomach Trump’s policies, and I don’t understand people who continue to admire him. To me, at best, he’s just a very tacky entertainer and a completely incompetent politician. I think it’s sad to see how many people have been taken in by his dog and pony show and haven’t looked at his character… or lack thereof.

As for the wedding… again, it’s certainly their right to celebrate as they see fit. I just think history will one day make them ashamed that they used their special day to celebrate Donald Trump. In my view, that wedding really should have been about THEM, and their partnership, not the orange shitstain in the White House. I think there may come a day when people look at Trump the way the world looks at people like Adolf Hitler and Kim Jong Il. And even if that day never comes, I think people will one day see that Trump is not someone worthy of the honor of inspiring someone’s nuptials.

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