Police, Texas, true crime, YouTube

I just heard about Texas baby stealer, Taylor Parker…

One of the nice things about living in Europe is that I tend to be divorced from some of the more sordid and horrifying crimes that happen in the United States. But then I go and watch YouTube videos, and since I am a true crime buff who tends to be interested in deviant people, I sometimes stumble across videos about truly sickening cases of depravity. Because I’m in a bit of a mood today, I think I’ll write a little bit about Texas killer Taylor Parker, who is currently sitting on death row.

Now… I’m sure Parker’s case was big news in the States. I missed it entirely when it was hot news. But I was randomly watching videos the other day when one popped up that I hadn’t expected to see. It was titled “Killer Realizes She’s Been Caught After Cutting Baby Out of Victim’s Stomach”. Right off the bat I cringed a bit, not just because this is just an incredibly sad and grisly crime, but also because people don’t carry pregnancies in their stomachs. Stomachs are for digesting food. They’re full of enzymes and acids, which would digest a developing fetus.

Babies don’t belong in stomachs… I would expect someone with a fetus developing in a stomach to show up at a hospital.

I think EWU Bodycam, the uploader of the video I watched, means that the baby was cut from the victim’s womb, or more precisely, the victim’s uterus. But in fairness to the uploader, the police officer who interviewed Taylor Parker also referred to the womb as the “stomach”. Maybe he did it to be on Parker’s intelligence level, but I suspect that he’s not that well versed on anatomy. He’s pretty good at getting guilty people to confess, though. I know this may seem like a petty thing to comment on, but I tend to be kind of a stickler about word choice.

Anyway… the story goes that Parker had befriended 21 year old Reagan Simmons-Hancock of New Boston, Texas, who was, in October 2020, about 34 weeks pregnant and already the mother of a three year old child. Parker had taken engagement and wedding photos of Reagan Simmons-Hancock and her husband, and that might have been the pretense that allowed for her to visit the young woman on the day of the murder. The three year old was present on the day of the murder and was left alone with her mother after Parker committed her crimes.

Parker, who was 27 years old at the time of the crime, already had two children before she got a hysterectomy. She decided to fake a pregnancy, and went as far as producing false ultrasounds and having a gender reveal party. It was reported that before she attacked Simmons-Hancock, Parker researched how to convincingly fake a pregnancy. She also watched a video on an examination of a pre-term infant delivered at 35 weeks gestation.

After she viciously attacked Simmons-Hancock, Parker took off from the crime scene and was soon stopped by a Texas State Trooper in DeKalb, Texas because she was speeding. The police officer, noticing Parker’s bloody condition, asked her what happened. Parker claimed that she’d given birth on the side of the road and was heading to a hospital because the baby girl wasn’t breathing. Parker and the baby were then taken by ambulance to McCurtain Memorial Hospital in Idabel, Oklahoma, where the staff was immediately suspicious.

Parker refused to be examined by doctors, who were concerned that she might be hemorrhaging. She also didn’t have any Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), a hormone that all pregnant women have until about six weeks after giving birth. Taylor Parker had also stuffed Reagan’s placenta into her pants in a bungled attempt to try to convince staff that she was the one who had given birth… Honestly, WTF? She must have been out of her mind if she really thought that would convince experienced medical professionals.

Sadly, the baby died at the hospital. Even sadder is that Parker apparently thought she could get away with her crime. She had blood all over her hands and clothes, but it was very obvious to medical staff that she hadn’t given birth. And there she was at a hospital, thinking she would be able to refuse a thorough medical examination by the staff without arousing suspicion. Parker was later arrested when her victim’s body was discovered.

I read that Parker had faked the pregnancy to keep her boyfriend interested. In the video I watched about this case, there’s a picture of Taylor Parker all made up, seemingly pregnant, with a serene look on her face and her boyfriend’s arms around her stomach. I don’t have any experience with pregnancy myself, but it seems like it would be hard to create a very realistic looking womb that people could touch and not be suspicious. Moreover, I wonder about the people in her life, some of whom must have been around when she had a hysterectomy. I wonder why none of them called her out for her duplicity.

In 2022, Taylor Parker was tried in Texas for the capital murder of Reagan Simmons-Hancock. She was also tried for the non capital murder of the baby, whom Simmons-Hancock had named Braxlynn Sage. Not surprisingly, she was sentenced to death. While I am generally no fan of the death penalty and would vote against it myself, I am not surprised that Parker was sentenced to death. This was an incredibly gruesome crime. I can’t even fathom the deep levels of desperation and depravity that led Taylor Parker to do this to another human being. Hearing about this case made me feel absolutely heartbroken for the victims and the family left behind.

Is Taylor Parker a sociopath? I don’t know. Her crime is almost indescribably horrific, and it’s hard to explain why someone would show such callous disregard for another human. I think I would have to know a lot more about this case before I could conclude that Taylor Parker is a sociopath. Based on her hospital video, I would definitely conclude that she has some pretty severe mental illness and delusional thinking going on.

I did find the video of the cop’s interview with Taylor interesting, as he appeared to be someone who was very good at putting people at ease. He was rather gentle in his approach to Parker and he maintained an impressive poker face, as he confronted her about what had really happened. I heard him tell her it didn’t mean she was a terrible person, as he expressed empathy to her. Of course, that may have all been an act. It probably was, as being very aggressive and honest with his feelings about the crime would just make Taylor clam up. When you are about to be arrested for capital murder, you may be looking for a friendly face. The detective who interviewed Taylor gave her what she sought and gently cajoled her into giving up some of the truth of what she did.

I read more of the details of this case, which indicated just how completely savage and barbaric Parker’s crime was. It makes me feel terrible for the victims… which includes Reagan’s family, friends, and loved ones. I don’t blame people for thinking she deserves the death penalty. Personally, I just oppose it in most cases, although I know a lot of people disagree with me and may either want to confront me on this, or try to change my mind. There was a time when I was in favor of capital punishment, but for many reasons that I’ve already written about in other posts, I’m just not anymore.

I just think that while it’s understandable that many people think some really horrible crimes are worthy of the death penalty, it should be reserved for the rare situations in which a person has killed many people and will certainly kill again. I think it should be for public safety as whole– meaning the condemned person is a danger to everyone. I’m not sure Taylor Parker fits that description. She’s not like– say– Timothy McVeigh, Ted Bundy, or John Allen Muhammad (the Beltway Sniper). But, of course, I think Taylor Parker should stay locked up for the rest of her life.

And… while the cop interview was very interesting to watch (aside from his mistaking the womb for a stomach), I am kind of sorry I stumbled across the above video. It’s just such a tragic story on so many levels. So many young lives ended and/or ruined.

Anyway… that about does it for today’s post. Bill is coming home tonight. I look forward to seeing him.

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love, marriage, musings

Ahh… now this is more like it…

As I wrote on my travel blog yesterday, Bill decided that we needed a nice lunch after last week’s home improvement trauma. Last year, at the tail end of the COVID-19 lockdowns, we discovered a restaurant called Landhaus Diedert. We have now been there three times. Every time I’ve left there after a Sunday lunch, I’ve felt very contented. It’s a beautiful restaurant with gorgeous, delicious food, wonderful wines, and friendly, competent, kind service.

Yesterday, we sat outside in the restaurant’s Biergarten for the first time. We had perfect weather– sunny skies, with a gentle breeze, maybe about 74 degrees Fahrenheit. Our table was under a canopy of mature trees, where everyone was peacefully and quietly enjoying lunch. Now THAT was the life…

I do love living in Germany, even though being here has its inconveniences. Like, for example, this morning, I tried to access one of my online bank accounts, which now has two factor authentication. Although I called the bank and gave them my German phone number, and they confirmed that it worked, there must have been a system update. Now, my number has the wrong country code, so I can’t get their stupid authentication texts, nor will they email them to me. Their system won’t let me update the information online, so I’m going to have to call them later, once there are people at work. That’s one persistent problem with living here.

Another is not being very good at speaking German, which means we have to deal with sexist, inconsiderate assholes like the guys who temporarily took up residence in my house last week. I suppose I could have spoken to them in English and let my non-verbal language do the talking. They made it clear they weren’t interested in listening to me, though. While I know it’s pointless to be angry about this, the truth is, I’m still fuming. I hope karma catches up to those two motherfuckers very soon.

And I do miss some people from my past, too… like my mom and my sisters. We’ve missed a lot of family events, although maybe it’s better than we didn’t go to those.

Still, I couldn’t help but reflect yesterday on just how lovely our afternoon was. We had good food, good wine, and good company. It was just a really nice day, and an effective reminder as to why we prefer life in Europe. Too bad Bill has to go away again this upcoming weekend. It’s another week of TDY in Bavaria. But, it looks like he’ll be temporarily changing duties soon, which will mean no TDY travel for awhile.

I was wearing my favorite colors yesterday, which went pretty well with my sun and age bleached hair and blue eyes. 😀 I may look like an old hag when I’m at home, but I can clean up alright when I put on some makeup. I’m definitely a fan of blue. I felt pretty yesterday, in spite of being old and fat.

Not too shabby.

It’s days like yesterday that give me hope and make me want to stick around. And it’s photos like the one below that remind me of how much I disliked living in Texas.

Nine years ago, we were preparing to move out of our house in Texas, and some idiot tried to break in. They bled all over the driveway. Not to say that crime doesn’t happen in Germany, but there’s a lot less of this kind of shit.

Of course… in Europe, we do have our share of jerks, too. But at least, by and large, they aren’t armed. I read a very sad story a couple of days ago about a man whose wife of 18 months was shot and killed in a road rage accident. Someone cut the man off, so he flipped off the driver with his middle finger. Next thing he knew, his wife had been shot and killed. Naturally, it happened in Texas ( in the Dallas Fort-Worth area).

Here in Germany, flipping people off, especially in traffic, is illegal and can result in a large fine if you get caught doing it (especially if you do it to cops). And again… a lot fewer guns here, too… and the weather is generally not so horrible in the summer as it is in Texas.

So… I guess I’ll simmer down, although Bill still plans to have a talk with our landlord, if only to let him know that next time there’s a big job involving craftsmen, he’ll probably work from home. He’s probably a much better man than I deserve.

I think I’ll close this post and play my guitar. Maybe later, if it’s not too hot and I’m feeling cheeky, maybe I’ll record a new song. I couldn’t do any last week. Cheerio!

The featured photo is of the beautiful trees at Landhaus Diedert. Their Biergarten is just lovely, especially on temperate July days.

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LDS, Netflix, true crime

Repost: Let’s talk about Toni Fratto and Kody Cree Patten…

I’m having a terrible time coming up with a fresh topic today. I’m in the middle of reading a new book about the Kennedy family, and I just don’t have the stomach to cover what I’ve been reading about regarding politics. Every time I read a new headline about the Republican party, I feel more outraged. But I’ve already written so much about the current “hot button” issues, and I just don’t feel up to it today.

So, instead of writing something fresh, I’m going to repost this true crime piece I wrote October 19, 2018. It got a lot of hits on the original blog, so I know people were, at one time, interested in the case of Toni Fratto and Kody Cree Patten. I also remember that my take was a bit controversial with those in the know, so I will add the original comments.

If you choose to comment on this piece, please be civil, and please remember, most of it was written about five years ago. If it seems “wrong” or out of date, it may be because of that.

I was inspired by my recent reintroduction to Netflix yesterday and wound up spending a few hours binge watching a show called Deadly Women.  I had seen it before, although the cases presented in the shows I watched yesterday were new to me.  It always kind of amuses me that the narrators they use on shows about salacious crimes involving murder always sound like they’re oversexed or something.  They also have “experts” who comment.  One woman who is consistently featured on the shows has striking blue eyes and dark hair.  She is a former FBI profiler.  But she always sounds like she’s scandalized by some of the stories she analyzes.

So anyway, one of the episodes I watched involved a young Mormon woman from Nevada named Toni Fratto.  Fratto’s religion wasn’t mentioned in the episode, but apparently, she was a very devout believer and Patten eventually converted to Mormonism so they could eventually marry in the temple.  Patten even moved into Fratto’s family’s house after a particularly nasty fight with his father.  Fratto’s family evidently felt they could help straighten out Patten and keep an eye on their daughter, who had informed them that she intended to marry Patten.

I found out about Fratto’s faith when I got curious and looked her up online.  The British tabloid Daily Mail ran a story about Fratto’s sensational crime.  In April 2012, Fratto and her boyfriend, Kody Cree Patten, were sentenced to prison for murdering Patten’s friend, 16 year old Micaela “Mickey” Costanzo.  Fratto and Patten brutally murdered Costanzo on March 3, 2011.

A story about this tragic and horrifying case.

As I was watching this show about Fratto and Patten, I was reminded of a somewhat similar situation that occurred in the 1990s.  In 1995, David Graham and Diane Zamora were a Texas high school power couple with plans to attend military service academies and embark on high powered military careers.  But then the two of them decided to commit murder one night.  They killed 16 year old Adrianne Jones because Diane was extremely jealous of the pretty teen.  She thought Adrianne was a romantic rival, particularly since David had told Diane that he’d had sex with Adrianne.  When Diane found out that her boyfriend had cheated, she became enraged and felt compelled to kill Adrianne.  She asked David to carry out the task and sadly, he obliged.

Fratto’s case was somewhat similar, except she and Patten weren’t necessarily a “power couple” in the making.  Patten was apparently a troublemaker, while Fratto had apparently led a fairly quiet life.  On the show, she was described and portrayed as “homely”.  Patten had grown up with Costanzo; she was one of his “buddies”.  According to Deadly Women, Fratto had become irrationally jealous of Mickey Costanzo.  

Wow… she sounds pretty out of touch with reality here.
Anderson Cooper talks to Toni Fratto.
What a terrible, tragic case…

Although Patten’s and Costanzo’s relationship had been platonic, Fratto was extremely insecure about the attention Patten paid to his friend, who was pretty, athletic, and described as “promising”.  Mickey Costanzo also had a boyfriend, though Fratto was convinced that she was going to ruin her relationship with Patten.  Despite Costanzo’s promises that she wasn’t interested in Patten romantically, Fratto refused to believe her, and continued to insult and threaten the girl.  Fratto had repeatedly confronted Costanzo, telling her to “stay away” from her man, Kody Patten.  Costanzo then decided she wanted nothing more to do with Patten, which apparently enraged him.  

And yet, even though she was repeatedly harassing Costanzo about her friendship with Patten, Fratto had never been in trouble with the law.  She had no criminal record when she and Patten kidnapped Costanzo, took her to the desert, beat her over the head with a shovel, and buried her in a shallow grave. 

While Diane Zamora appears to have masterminded Adrianne Jones’ murder and David Graham had simply gone along with the idea, I think in this case, it was more Patten who got the idea to kill than Fratto.  It appears that Patten got a charge out of playing on Fratto’s insecurities.  He would deliberately set up situations that he knew would upset Fratto and cause her to react.  Patten had a history of being a troublemaker, while Fratto was more of a “sheep”– this was actually how her attorney described her.  Given what I know about Mormonism, I can see where that tendency would originate.  

I even remember in 2014, watching BYU TV and hearing a Relief Society president giving a talk during that year’s spring General Conference.  She was telling a disturbing anecdote about a farmer who had to train one of his ewes not to stray.  The ewe would wander off from the herd by herself.  So he tied the ewe to a stake until she learned not to stray.  Then, once he freed her from the stake, the farmer had to coax her to move around again.  The ewe had become submissive and compliant, and the Relief Society president’s message was that church members needed to be taught the same lesson.  

With messages like that coming from a place of authority, I can see why Fratto might have been talked into helping her boyfriend commit murder.  That’s not to say that I think all Mormons are “sheep”.  It’s more to say that the religion does train people to be followers.  I think in some cases, women are especially conditioned to follow the direction of their men, and that tendency can be exacerbated by untreated mental illness.  Fratto apparently didn’t have a lot of experience with men and, for whatever reason, really thought she loved Patten.  Later, she said that Patten had abused and controlled her throughout their relationship and she feared that if she didn’t help Patten kill Costanzo, she would be murdered herself.  So instead of doing the right thing, she sat on Costanzo’s legs and helped hold her down while Patten slit the teen’s throat.

There could be some truth to Fratto’s story, although I also believe that Fratto was at least as dysfunctional and abusive as Patten. The fact that she could be talked into committing such an act of violence is a clue to her weakness of character. Would she have committed the murder on her own? I don’t know. But she was clearly lacking the moral fortitude to resist her own dark impulses.

To Fratto’s slim credit, she did eventually come forward to confess what she’d done.  It was small comfort to Costanzo’s mother, who pleaded with the court to hand down a maximum sentence.  Frankly, I can’t blame Mickey Costanzo’s mother for being so incredibly angry about the senseless and tragic murder of her child.  

Fratto was eventually convicted of second-degree murder with a deadly weapon.  She was sentenced to life in prison with the chance of parole after 18 years.  Since she was 19 when she was convicted, it’s possible that Fratto could be out of prison before she turns 40.  As of August 2018, Toni Fratto was in Florence McClure Women’s Correctional Center in Las Vegas, Nevada.  Patten pleaded guilty to first degree murder and was sentenced to life without parole.  He is at Ely State Prison in White Pine County, Nevada. 

Edited to add in 2023: On April 4, 2021, Toni Fratto was denied parole. Her next chance to be paroled will be in May 2024. However, even if she had gotten parole in 2021, Fratto would still be locked up, as she has a second sentence that would begin for using a deadly weapon in the commission of second degree murder.

Listening to Toni Fratto on Anderson Cooper in the above clips, Toni Fratto sounds more to me like a psychopath. At the very least, she’s out of touch with reality, and the sheer horror of what she did. Listening to these interviews in 2023, I now believe that Toni Fratto was just as diabolical as Patten was. She is definitely where she belongs. How absolutely terrible it is that a beautiful and innocent young woman would lose her life due to these two criminals.

And here are the original comments:

5 comments:

  1. AlexisAROctober 20, 2018 at 10:40 PM That Relief Society talk you described is beyond scary. A person would have to be virtually brain-dead even to read that talk from a teleprompter. Whoever wrote it is likely certifiable and should be locked up.
    1. knottyOctober 20, 2018 at 10:57 PM I was horrified when I heard it.
  2. Pcofwork January 21, 2019 at 5:32 AM I actually don’t agree with you. Toni and Kody had a history of aggressive behavior with Mickey. Toni initially confessed to being the one who slit her throat, I believe that the version she told to Kodys lawyer is close to the truth as we are ever going to get. Kody has shown remorse since he confessed to the police, all Toni has ever done is blame him. She didn’t even apologize to Mickey’s family. And she had more of a motive than he did. 
    1. knottyJanuary 22, 2019 at 5:03 PM Alright.
  3. Chris Middleton February 6, 2019 at 3:01 AM Just a couple selfish, cold blooded pieces of shit! They took someone’s daughter! Hope they both rot in jail and then go straight to hell. I see she is eligible for parole in 2021, if she gets out, may people in their town take revenge on her cold
    Blooded ass!
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controversies, law, true crime

Alex Murdaugh is now officially a murderer…

I haven’t really been keeping up with Alex Murdaugh’s murder trial, which has been going on for the past six weeks. I don’t know why I haven’t been following it. I spent three years in South Carolina, and he’s a descendent of a legal dynasty in the Low Country. Today’s featured photo is a screen grab from the moment when Murdaugh heard the verdict. Below is a video I listened to a few days ago, about Murdaugh’s life in jail. He’s in for more of the same for the rest of his life.

Good luck, Mr. Murdaugh… lots of people are going to want to buy your sneakers in prison, too.

I did happen to catch some of Murdaugh’s attorney’s closing statements yesterday. I was really grateful not to be on the jury, because the lawyer just kept yammering on about reasonable doubt. Those poor folks had to take six weeks out of their lives to attend Alex Murdaugh’s trial. As I was listening to a few minutes of this man’s closing speech, I suddenly felt like I used to feel as a kid when I was forced to go to church.

I mean, it was good that the lawyer thanked the jury for their service. He mentioned that they’d had to leave their homes, their families, their jobs, and some even missed out on vacations for the duration of the murder trial. You’d think he’d have a little more respect for the jurors’ time. Yes, he needed to impress upon them the importance of being absolutely sure that the man was guilty before they cast a guilty vote. But I think most of those people are smart enough to hear him say that without endless pontificating.

I’m not surprised that Mr. Murdaugh was convicted of murdering his wife and son. He faces sentencing today. That means at least thirty years in prison, or the rest of his life. Given that he’s 54 years old, I’d say he won’t be getting out of prison regardless of what the sentence is. That’s not enough for some people. I read that Mr. Murdaugh will not be facing the death penalty, and that really pisses off some folks. I read some rather appalling comments about how Murdaugh won’t get death because he’s a rich, white man. That might be true, but I don’t really think racism is a reason to promote capital punishment.

I wouldn’t cheer for anyone to get a death sentence, no matter who they are, or what their race is. I think capital punishment should be reserved for truly guilty people who are extremely dangerous to other human beings and would definitely kill again if they were ever free. When I think of people who should be put to death, I think of folks like Timothy McVeigh, who blew up a building and likely wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. Or John Allen Muhammad, the Beltway Sniper, who coerced a 17 year old kid to help him murder random people across multiple states. I’m thinking of people who are truly hateful monsters who kill indiscriminately.

The vast majority of murderers don’t randomly kill people simply for sport. There’s usually some connection to the victim. It’s not like they just go out and kill someone because they feel like it. They have a more specific “reason” to kill. I think people who get off on killing are much more dangerous than those who feel like they somehow had to do it. I’m not saying those who somehow felt like they had to commit murder are better or more moral… just that they’re probably less dangerous. I think most executions should be done purely for public safety. They should be reserved for the most callous, irredeemable, monstrous criminals.

Not long ago, I read and reviewed a book about a murder case in my home state of Virginia. It involved two teenagers who decided they wanted to know what it was like to kill someone. They had a list of people who were candidates for killing. If someone crossed them, even if the potential victim was unaware that they had done so, they were at risk of being murdered. But if the victim made amends somehow, before the deed was done, they’d be crossed off the list. That kind of random thinking, to me, makes someone more dangerous and worthier of capital punishment. Crazily enough, the subjects of that book have both been paroled.

I really don’t like the death penalty, though. Even for truly dangerous people, I get skeeved out by the idea of people deliberately executing other people. I was very happy when Virginia outlawed capital punishment two years ago, particularly since Virginia had some pretty wacko rules regarding evidence. In another book I recently read, I learned about how if evidence wasn’t presented in a very short timeframe, it couldn’t be considered, even if the evidence might exonerate someone. That, to me, is sheer craziness. If there is the slightest chance a person might be innocent, he or she should not be a candidate for execution. That’s my opinion, anyway.

The longer I live outside of the United States, the more weirded out I get by the bizarre opinions of some of my compatriots. Some of them are absolutely gleeful when a person gets sentenced to death, or sent away to rot in prison for the rest of their lives. Personally, I find the idea of lifetime imprisonment or execution sad, even if the person really deserves the punishment. I don’t like to see lives wasted. Likewise, some people get angry when a person doesn’t get the death penalty. It never occurs to them how easy it is to get arrested in the United States, nor do they seem to care that sometimes innocent people end up on death row. Once someone is executed, they can’t be brought back to life.

Of course, a lot of these folks also conflate the death penalty with abortion. They are all for executing already born people who have a concept of life and death, and they are all for forcing women to be pregnant. Both ideas strike me as brutal and barbaric. But then, to me there’s a big difference between someone who has already been born and someone who is still in utero.

Those are just my opinions. After I saw the death house at the Virginia State Penitentiary, my mind was forever changed about capital punishment. I used to be all for it, because I was so divorced from the people who might face it. Then I actually saw Virginia’s electric chair, and realized that a lot of people died in that chair. Most of them had friends and family who once cared about them in some way. Executions don’t just punish offenders. They also punish people who love the offenders.

I’ll admit, though, that I likely have this level of compassion because I haven’t been victimized by a violent criminal. Maybe being a victim would make me feel differently about this subject. It’s not like I haven’t changed my mind before… and I will admit that reading some stories about violent crimes make me angry enough to wish death on the perpetrators. I remember reading a horrifying story a few years ago about a lovely elderly North Carolina couple who were robbed, tied up, and left to die when the perpetrators set their house on fire. The husband escaped, but the wife succumbed in the fire. I was pretty enraged by that story. I don’t think I would shed any tears if the men who did that were executed… but I also don’t think I would vote for them to get the death penalty… if that makes any sense.

I’m grateful to live in a country that, for the most part, is pretty safe and clean. Violent crime is fairly rare in Germany, at least when compared to my homeland. And there’s no death penalty here, so violent criminals don’t get a platform. I’m sure some of my relatives would say I’ve gone “soft” and liberal on them… But, to me, capital punishment is just another way of promoting loss.

Anyway, I do think it would be appropriate for Mr. Murdaugh to spend the rest of his days in confinement. I don’t think he has a hope in hell of ever being free again, and I think that’s a fitting punishment for him. I don’t need to see him strapped to a gurney and given an overdose of drugs. I can understand, though, that a lot of people will disagree with me. We’ll see what happens today, when he gets sentenced.

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book reviews, narcissists, true crime

A review of If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood, by Gregg Olsen…

I frequently binge watch television shows, especially when I’m bored. In Germany, where winter weather generally sucks most of the time, my TV binges are more intense than ever. I don’t remember exactly what I was doing in December 2019, besides getting ready for Christmas. Amazon.com tells me that December 17, 2019 was when I downloaded true crime author Gregg Olsen’s book, If You Tell: A True Story of Murder, Family Secrets, and the Unbreakable Bond of Sisterhood. This book was published on December 1 of that same year. I probably downloaded Olsen’s book because I had seen its main subject, Michelle Knotek, covered on the Oxygen Network’s true crime television show, Snapped.

Snapped is a show that focuses on violent crimes committed by women. Most of the episodes involve murder. I have frequently written about the women I’ve seen profiled on Snapped, even though I usually find the cases very unnerving. At the same time, the stories are usually fascinating, which is what draws me in, in spite of the horrific natures of the crimes committed by most of the women who get featured on Snapped. I write “most” because I remember at least one episode had to do with a woman who killed because her husband was abusing her, and it was either his life or hers.

It’s been awhile since I last binged on Snapped. I think I got out of the habit during the height of the pandemic. I guess I “snapped” out of my obsession with the stories about crazy women, especially when the show was especially salacious. Although I downloaded Mr. Olsen’s excellent and well-researched book about Michelle Knotek, I only just got around to reading it, about three years after I bought it. And the reason I decided to finally read it, is because my old friend Mary Beth told me she’d just read it. She commented about Olsen’s book after she read my review of The Perfect Father, a book about Chris Watts, the Colorado father of two who brutally murdered his wife and two children.

I just finished reading If You Tell this morning. To be honest, I kind of rushed through the last chapters, mainly because the story is so horrifying and sad. I also found it unnerving because, like a lot of stories about sadistic, narcissistic, criminal women, I was reminded a lot of my husband’s ex wife’s behaviors. As far as I know, Ex has never murdered anyone. However, I have heard multiple stories about some of the other things she’s done that are much like the women featured on Snapped. It’s uncanny… like they have a play book. They get away with their criminal behavior because no one wants to say anything. Or, when they finally do speak up, the authorities don’t do anything. That’s pretty much what happened in Michelle “Shelly” Knotek’s case, until three people died and the cops finally had to sit up and take notice.

At this writing, Shelly Knotek is now out of prison. She was paroled on November 8, 2022, having done about 18 years of a 22 year sentence for second degree murder and manslaughter. Her three daughters, Nikki, Sami, and Tori– all by different fathers– warn that she could kill again. I read that Shelly’s daughters actually reached out to Gregg Olsen and asked him to write this book… to warn the world of what their mother is capable of doing.

If You Tell

Gregg Olsen is a masterful true crime author. Over the years, I’ve read and reviewed several of his books. I found Olsen’s story about Shelly Knotek equal parts fascinating and nightmare inducing. Again, what makes her story especially chilling to me is that, in many ways, she reminds me a lot of an extreme version of my husband’s ex wife. From the way she used and exploited people, then cruelly discarded them, to the way she seemingly became kind and charming, as a means of luring people into her trap, Shelly Knotek’s patterns of behavior are very familiar. In many ways, she is a more extreme version of Ex. The people who were trapped in her web invariably felt powerless to do anything to stop the horrific crimes that occurred on her watch.

Who is Shelly Knotek?

Born April 15, 1954 in Raymond, Washington, Shelly Knotek had a chaotic childhood. Shelly and her brother, Chuck, were sent to live with their father, Les Watson, and his wife, Lara. Another brother, Paul, was still an infant and stayed with their mother, Sharon. Shelly was a very pretty little girl, but she was clearly troubled. Shelly’s bio mom had a very traumatic upbringing, with a mother who was married and divorced multiple times. Sharon’s own approach to child rearing was equally dysfunctional. Once she’d sent Shelly and Chuck to Les’s house, she seemed to forget about them. And then, Sharon, whom some family members suspected might have been an alcoholic prostitute, was murdered. Youngest brother Paul then also went to live with Les and Lara.

Lara Watson tried to be a mother figure to her stepchildren, but even from a young age, Shelly’s behaviors were problematic. Every single day, Shelly told her stepmother that she hated her. She was overbearing, rebellious, and cruel. While Chuck and Paul had their difficult moments, Shelly’s conduct was by far the most disruptive. In some ways, it seemed like Shelly was destined to be difficult. Not only did she have an extremely dysfunctional mother, her paternal grandmother, Anna, was also quite defiant and awful. It was like she’d gotten a double genetic dosage of cruel genes.

When she was still a teenager, Shelly made up terrible lies about her family. She accused her father of raping her when she was 15 years old. A doctor later examined her and found no evidence that she had been raped. Lara later found a copy of True Confessions magazine in Shelly’s room. In it was an article about a 15 year old who had been raped by her father. Les and Lara had a terrible time finding schools that would deal with Shelly. Invariably, her behavior would be so bad that she’d get expelled.

As she got older, Shelly’s behaviors worsened. In 1971, when she was seventeen, Shelly was devastatingly beautiful, but she was also evil and manipulative. That year, she met the man who would be her first husband and the father of her eldest daughter, Randy Rivardo. Also they had broken up after a brief romance, Shelly called him again. Shelly asked him to come to their hometown and work for her dad, who owned nursing homes. Randy was lured back into Shelly’s trap. They got married and, in February 1975, had a baby girl named Nikki. The marriage was doomed, and after they broke up, Shelly met and married her second husband, Danny Long, father of Shelly’s second daughter, Sami.

Every time Shelly’s marriages failed, she kicked the fathers of her children out of their lives. She replaced her children’s surnames with the next guy, whom they were expected to call Dad. So it was with Danny Long, too, who had been “Dad” to Nikki and Sami. Once that marriage broke up, Danny was gone.

Knotek the keeper…

By 1983, Shelly had moved on to the man who would, four years later, become her third husband, Dave Knotek. At the time they met, Dave couldn’t believe his luck. Shelly was a knockout. And she had a good sob story… an abandoned mom with two little girls who was looking for a man. Dave was quickly hooked. She also lied and told him she had cancer, which seemed to seal the deal.

Unlike the two husbands before him, Dave was determined to stay in his marriage to Shelly. She didn’t make it easy for him. Shelly demanded that he give her all of his paycheck. He worked in construction, far away from home, leaving Shelly to spend his pay on anything she wanted. Shelly didn’t pay the bills and gave her creditors sob stories to keep them at bay. Meanwhile, Dave worked extremely hard to make money to support the family. It all went into the black hole of Shelly’s endless needs.

One of the witnesses at their wedding, Kathy Loreno, was a friend of Shelly’s and had been her hairdresser. Kathy fell on hard times, and in 1988, when Shelly was pregnant with her third daughter, Tori, Shelly convinced her friend to move in with her.

Kathy moves in…

Up until Kathy became Shelly’s boarder, only her children, her husband, Dave, and her nephew, Shane, who moved into the home in 1988, knew what life with Shelly was really like. Shelly had a habit of horrifically abusing people over whom she had power. She made her daughter, Nikki, and nephew, Shane, stay outside naked. She would spray them with the garden hose and force them to “wallow” in the dirt, like pigs. She would make them wear dirty clothes, refuse to allow them access to the bathroom, and beat them. They never said anything to anyone, because they knew what would happen if they told on their mother. Dave would do whatever Shelly demanded, even if it meant abusing the children. Whenever they tried to run away, Shelly would find them and force them to come home.

When Kathy moved in, Shelly’s focus turned to her. At first, she was warm and welcoming, but gradually, the abuse commenced and ratcheted up, until Kathy was a mere shell of the woman she’d once been. She lost everything… even the clothes on her back, her self-worth, and even her teeth. Shelly forced Kathy to stay in extremely uncomfortable accommodations. She made her do chores, while denying her proper food and shelter. Kathy worked naked, doing everything from cleaning the house to feeding the animals. Whenever they rode in the car, Kathy’s place was in the trunk. Every time she tried to escape, Shelly the predator would hunt her down and bring her back to her lair. She hurled all manner of abuse to the woman, calling her names, hitting her, and starving her.

Kathy’s health declined more and more until finally, one day in 1994, she died. Instead of calling the authorities, Shelly had Dave burn Kathy’s body in their backyard. Kathy’s family didn’t find out until much later what had happened to her.

Shane gets shot…

Shane couldn’t stand his Aunt Shelly, even though he was often coerced into abusing Kathy at his aunt’s bidding. Shelly was very paranoid, and determined that she couldn’t trust Shane to keep her secrets. She found out that Shane had photos documenting the abuse Shelly leveled at Kathy Loreno. In 1994, she directed Dave to shoot the 19 year old young man with a .22 caliber rifle, which he did. Then, Dave burned Shane’s body and scattered his and Kathy’s ashes at a nearby beach.

Another boarder…

While Dave sniffed ammonia ampules to stay awake at work, Shelly decided she needed a new slave. She sweet talked a gay man named Ron Woodworth to move into her house and help her. Gradually, Ron became the same type of servant his predecessor, Kathy, had been. Shelly called him vile names, took away his clothes, and made him call her “Shelly Dear”. She drove a wedge between Ron and his family, with whom he’d once been very close. Eventually, he met the same tragic fate Kathy did. At the time of Ron’s death, there was an ordinance against open fires in their hometown, so he couldn’t get the homemade cremation treatment that Kathy and Shane received. Ron’s body was, instead, disposed of in a shallow grave.

A devastating story…

Shelly Knotek’s story is both fascinating and horrific. It’s absolutely crazy to me that she was paroled. At this writing, Shelly is 68 years old, and though she’s said to be in poor health, I have no doubt that she is a dangerous woman. Gregg Olsen does a great job making this convoluted tale easy to follow, with short, vivid chapters that kept my attention and made it easy to take breaks. I was glad for the breaks, because there’s only so much of this horror one can take in a single sitting.

I kept wondering to myself how the people in that household could stand watching Shelly’s cruelty. But, logically, I understand that when you’re a child, you’re at your most vulnerable. Shelly’s behavior was probably pretty normal to her children, at least at first. It wasn’t until she started doing things like locking them in closets for weeks, forcing them to go to school wearing the same, filthy clothes for days on end, and not allowing them to use the bathroom at will, that they started to realize how different they were. I just wish someone in the kids’ schools had noticed and said something to the authorities about the obvious child abuse. Shelly abused her children physically. They had to learn how to hide the scars and bruises and act like everything was normal.

I also wondered how it was advantageous to Shelly that her “boarders” and sometimes her children were kept naked and weren’t allowed to bathe. I would think the smell would be terrible. But that’s probably why she forced them to sleep outside or in pump houses. She would occasionally “bathe” them by hosing them down or dumping bleach on them.

Some people who have reviewed this book on Amazon have said that, at first, they weren’t aware that they were reading a true story. They thought this book was “far fetched”. Sadly, this really is a true story of a morally bankrupt and depraved woman who got off on hurting people in all ways. And sadly, people like Shelly lurk all over the place. Maybe they aren’t as extreme as she is, but they have some elements of that vindictive, abusive, sadistic personality. And if you’ve ever been in the midst of one of those people, reading a book like If You Tell becomes even more triggering.

I would recommend If You Tell to those who are intrigued by true crime and can stomach descriptions of truly awesome abuse toward others. I would not recommend it to those who are overly troubled by stories of graphic abuse toward other human beings (evidently, Shelly treated her animals with more consideration). This is the kind of book that can give certain people nightmares. Shelly Knotek’s story is one of the most disturbing I’ve ever read. She is someone who deserves to rot in the lowest depths of Hell for what she did. She should certainly NOT be out of prison.

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