music, politics, Virginia, YouTube

Rich Men North of Richmond… a sad song about a guy’s sorry life in the South…

Yesterday, just after I recorded three new old jazz songs on YouTube, I read about yet another right wing anthem taking the United States by storm. I took notice when I heard the title… “Rich Men North of Richmond.” I grew up in Virginia and was born south of Richmond myself. Not far south of there, mind you… but I think I still count as a southerner.

I learned more about the song, written by a guy named Oliver Anthony who comes from Farmville, Virginia, the very same town where I went to college. People say he’s singing the truth. I caught a snippet of his performance, noting his bushy red beard and the instrument he plays. It looks like a resonator, which is basically a combination of a guitar and a dobro.

I’m reminded a little of Sandy Cheeks’ Texas blues when I listen to Oliver Anthony’s song about his sad life in America…

The reactions to Anthony’s song have been mixed. Lots of people like it, because they’re conservatives, and they think the politicians of the Republican Party are the answer to fixing America. Other people think it’s yet another “dog whistle” to rile up working class people who think rich elites are causing all their problems… along with fat people on welfare. What I can’t understand, though, is why people like Oliver Anthony think people like Donald Trump, Ron DeSantis, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Matt Gaetz, and the rest of that gang are going to help him or his ilk. Donald Trump is the POSTER CHILD for rich wealthy men from north of Richmond. Why is Trump better than Joe Biden?

I might have been much more sympathetic to Anthony’s song if he hadn’t included those cheap, insulting lines about obese people on welfare. Even if obese people, living in a food desert, are eating “fudge rounds” on tax dollars, it’s not their fault the working poor are having trouble getting ahead.

I don’t think people like Donald Trump have any true empathy for guys like Oliver… Trump just wants to be in power and he wants to get rid of taxes so that he and his buddies can stay as wealthy as possible. But sorry, Oliver and friends, taxes are required to pay for things like infrastructure, roads and bridges, police and fire protection, teachers in public schools, and those folks who work in government entities and keep things running.

If American people think taxes are high in the United States, they should try living in Europe. In spite of the higher taxes, though, I can tell you, living in Europe has its advantages, because people here don’t have to worry about being bankrupted when they get sick, and they don’t start their young lives hamstrung by shitloads of student loans at extortionate interest rates. I have also seen firsthand how taxes provide people over here with some pretty nice things, including plenty of maternity and paternity leave, paid time off for vacations, and social safety nets that help people when they need it (though not indefinitely).

No, Europe is not a perfect place to be, and the taxes are a burden, but it’s pretty fucking nice… and having experienced it firsthand, I can’t say that I’m eager to go back to the United States, and listen to ignorant people like Oliver Anthony whining in songs that have only three or four chords in them, as their redneck friends and fans cheer them on. I can relate to working hard for low pay. I’ve done it myself. And I can relate to being frustrated by wealthy elites who don’t care and just want to get richer. I actually think Oliver was on the right path, until he threw people on welfare under the bus.

I really do think Oliver’s song would be much better if he took out the part about welfare… because it’s ignorant and offensive, and it simplifies a complex problem. People on welfare are really NOT the reason why people like him are being “kept down”. In spite of the many anecdotal legends of welfare queens out there, it’s actually not so easy for people to qualify for welfare, and people who get it have to prove they need it. It’s also a time limited benefit, and has been for a few decades now.

It’s true that a lot of poor people are fat. But a lot of them get fat because good food– at least in the United States– is expensive to buy, takes time and energy to prepare, and often requires more than a microwave. Good food spoils quickly and often needs to be refrigerated. Refrigerators cost money; electricity costs money; and it costs money to rent a place to keep the fridge. And out there in rural America, it can take awhile for a person without transportation to get themselves to a decent supermarket.

Or, hell, people in inner cities can’t necessarily get to a good market with affordable prices, because that requires transportation… so, they end up buying burritos at convenience stores, or whatever. Like I said, it’s a complicated problem. Obesity, in and of itself, is a medical problem, often caused by potentially serious psychiatric issues like clinical depression, eating disorders, and anxiety.

Sometimes people overeat when they are enduring a history of abuse (including sexual), and subconsciously trying to make themselves less sexually attractive to other people. Just like Oliver “drowns his troubles” after a hard day’s work, many people eat to soothe themselves. For some folks, eating those “tax supported fudge rounds” are the one bright spot in a series of difficult days. If it were easy for people to lose weight, many more people would do it. Being fat is no fun.

Incidentally, I notice that just before he complains about fat people on welfare eating tax purchased fudge rounds, Mr. Anthony sings about coming home from work and “drowning” his troubles away. Sounds like he might have a drinking problem. Should we shit all over him for that? Because if he wasn’t buying booze, he’d have more money to make a better life for himself, right? But pointing that out might make me sound “controlling”… as if I don’t know what that feels like, ever since right wingers decided that females can’t decide for themselves about whether or not they want to be pregnant. Besides, alcoholism and other addictions are legitimate diseases, not simply moral failings of “bad people” who choose not to control themselves.

If Oliver does have a drinking problem, he should be able to seek out competent medical help for it, shouldn’t he? But he probably can’t or won’t, because it would cost money he doesn’t have… or, more likely, he doesn’t want someone else telling him what to do, or trying to limit his “right” to get loaded on liquor he probably bought at a state run ABC store. Because he lives in the “land of the free”… what a total crock of shit.

What good is freedom if you can’t enjoy it? What good is freedom when the water and air are dirty, people are unhealthy and uneducated, and every minor setback leads to more time spent at the bottom of society? What good is freedom when you have to work all the time, even when you’re sick? What good is freedom if you can’t get affordable medical care when you need it, so you can function at your best and enjoy your life to the fullest?

Oliver also laments that people care more about “minors” on an island than miners… BUT… conservatives want to force people to gestate, which will result in many more minors, some of whom will then be at risk of being exploited by people like Jeffrey Epstein… and his friend, Donald Trump (who visited that island Oliver Anthony alludes to). Yes, miners should be looked after, as all citizens should, but mining is an industry that destroys the planet for everyone. It’s time we evolved beyond mining, so that we don’t go extinct sooner, rather than later.

It’s interesting that Oliver Anthony is singing this song of lament about life in America, but he probably identifies with flag waving guys like Jason Aldean. I’m sure he never misses the chance to sing along with anthems like “God Bless the USA”. I don’t think Democrats are Oliver Anthony’s enemy. I think people who vote against their own interests are their own worst enemies. And I think Oliver and his pals should take a few minutes to educate themselves before they start whinging about high taxes and obese people on welfare.

To me, it just comes across as a lot of ignorance and a complete lack of empathy or self-awareness. And it reminds me that a lot of Americans never look beyond what’s about five feet in front of them. The pandemic has been a GLOBAL problem, and it’s caused issues for people all over the world, from high gas prices to shortages on basic goods. So yes, inflation is a problem in the USA, but it’s also a problem everywhere else. People outside of rural America suffered through lockdowns, too… and in some places, the lockdowns were WAY worse. Try looking at what happened in China.

I do get why people have responded to Oliver Anthony’s simple song of frustration. Things have been difficult for these past few years. The pandemic didn’t help, nor did the global shortage of labor and goods, which– again– has caused inflation all over the world, not just in the USA. I just don’t think most people think for very long about the real causes of these issues, or the fact that other people in the world suffer, just as they do. They just support the person who sounds like they speak to them, present what sounds like easy solutions to very complex problems, and make promises that they can’t or won’t keep. Trump says things that spin them up… but then he doesn’t do jack shit that helps them. He’s a malignant narcissist, and narcissists have no honor. Instead, Trump lines his own pockets and those of his powerful buddies… many of whom are rich men from south of Richmond.

I will say this, though… Oliver Anthony certainly isn’t a bad singer, and he can play his instrument. He looks like Beau of the Fifth Column, too. Maybe he should watch some of Beau’s videos on YouTube and get an actual clue, then write another song that is a little more in touch with reality.

Below are the lyrics for “Rich Men North of Richmond”…

I’ve been sellin’ my soul, workin’ all day
Overtime hours for bullshit pay
So I can sit out here and waste my life away
Drag back home and drown my troubles away

It’s a damn shame what the world’s gotten to
For people like me and people like you
Wish I could just wake up and it not be true
But it is, oh, it is

Livin’ in the new world
With an old soul
These rich men north of Richmond
Lord knows they all just wanna have total control
Wanna know what you think, wanna know what you do
And they don’t think you know, but I know that you do
‘Cause your dollar ain’t shit and it’s taxed to no end
‘Cause of rich men north of Richmond

I wish politicians would look out for miners
And not just minors on an island somewhere
Lord, we got folks in the street, ain’t got nothin’ to eat
And the obese milkin’ welfare

Well, God, if you’re 5-foot-3 and you’re 300 pounds
Taxes ought not to pay for your bags of fudge rounds
Young men are puttin’ themselves six feet in the ground
‘Cause all this damn country does is keep on kickin’ them down

Lord, it’s a damn shame what the world’s gotten to
For people like me and people like you
Wish I could just wake up and it not be true
But it is, oh, it is

Livin’ in the new world
With an old soul
These rich men north of Richmond
Lord knows they all just wanna have total control
Wanna know what you think, wanna know what you do
And they don’t think you know, but I know that you do
‘Cause your dollar ain’t shit and it’s taxed to no end
‘Cause of rich men north of Richmond

I’ve been sellin’ my soul, workin’ all day
Overtime hours for bullshit pay

Yeah, I hear you, Oliver. But complaining about it in a song isn’t going to help you in the long run. Wising up and voting accordingly will. And that doesn’t even necessarily mean voting blue. It means voting for decent people who actually give a shit about something other than themselves and what’s in their bank accounts. I will admit, though, that those people seem few and far between in our country. Too many people have bought into the personality cult championed by the MAGA crowd. They are going to be on the wrong side of history, at best… or dead or in prison at worst. I hope Oliver decides to be part of the solution instead of spreading more negativity to the masses through his formidable musical talent.

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music, videos, viral, YouTube

Deep Peace… lovely music from young and immensely talented people…

Hey guys… I’m not really in the mood to write a lengthy post today. My neck and shoulders hurt from sleeping “wrong” last night. Bill has to go away again this week, so I’m not feeling very inspired. I did write a fresh post on the travel blog.

Anyway, since I’m not really in the mood to write a lot today, I thought I’d share some music I recently discovered. I think I found Libera— an English boys choir whose members range from age 7 to 16– on YouTube a few months ago. I was so enchanted by their music that I downloaded a couple of their albums. Last night, one of their ethereal pieces played on my HomePod and I decided to see if they had any more recent albums released.

It turned out they’d released If in 2021. I downloaded and just listened to the whole thing this morning. It’s perfect music for a Sunday morning, especially as I’m writing and thinking. I will confess, however, that I had to stop a couple of times because I was moved to tears. I never really liked boys choirs that much before, but now that I’m getting old, the good ones impress me greatly. I find their music very peaceful and nourishing to the soul. Another album is coming out soon. I will be keeping my eyes peeled for it.

Here are a couple of videos I found today…

Angelic…

And I recognized the music below because I’m a fan of John Rutter’s choral music, and had heard “Deep Peace” done by his Cambridge Singers. Libera does justice to this gorgeous and thoughtful piece…

Sigh… these lads have such pure, heavenly voices.
Very comforting…

I really enjoy excellent choirs. I haven’t sung in one myself in a long time, but I do miss the experience. It’s almost as nice to hear them, even if I can’t join them. I am very impressed by how amazing these young singers are. I feel a little jealous, too, because they still have so many years ahead of them to develop their gifts.

While I’m writing about young musical talents, I feel like I should share this awesome news piece I read yesterday about in the Washington Post. Ten year old Pennsylvania fifth grader, Olive Wallace, composed and hand scored a piece that she played at school. She was disappointed in her performance, so she just set the piece aside. Her mom, Mimi, saw the handwritten piece and put it up on TikTok, asking someone to play it for her. Many musicians took up the challenge, and soon Olive was an Internet sensation.

At first, Olive was upset with her mom for sharing her music, but then had a change of heart when she heard a pianist play it. Then, the piece was arranged by Dr. Christopher T.F. Hanson, director of musical education at Seattle Pacific University, and conductor of a string orchestra in Washington State. Olive said that rendition of her song, which she titled “For Greatness We Bring”, was perfect.

Hanson made a controversial statement, saying that he hoped to monetize the orchestra’s version on music platforms and donate the proceeds to music education. I applaud his idea to donate the money to music education, but I also feel like it’s not really his right to decide to monetize the composition, since it’s not his original work. I also took issue with this comment he made:

“I saw it as such a beautiful example of how the 21st century can utilize technology and social media to connect people,” Hanson said. “Because she scrawled some notes on a page, because I can read music and I have access to a community that makes music, we’ve now connected with literally millions of people.”

I don’t know about you, but that statement sounded a bit minimizing to me. This is a ten year old child with an obvious musical gift. Hanson makes it sound like she had beginner’s luck or something, and it took his genius to bring the music to life. That’s not so. Go on TikTok, and you’ll find a lot of interesting interpretations of Olive’s work. Some are better than others, in my opinion, but they all represent creativity inspired by one person’s initiative. Nevertheless, I can’t deny that Dr. Hanson’s string version is beautiful. I cried when I heard it. So did Bill. So did a lot of people commenting on the YouTube link.

Makes me want to learn how to play strings…

I think Olive’s composition is incredible. I think she has the potential to go far, if she nourishes that gift of hers. But I also know what it feels like to be pressured when you’re a kid… so I hope she gets gentle encouragement to develop her talents. I also hope that Dr. Hanson shows her the respect she deserves.

I should mention that I don’t usually enjoy “kid acts”. I find that a lot of times, youth is used as a gimmick to promote and sell the talents of people who should be allowed to be children. However, there are some exceptions. When it comes to boy choirs, naturally, that has to be done when boys are actually still boys.

Well, that about does it for me today. I think I’ll go take a pill and watch some more cop videos or something. The weather is yucky and my muscles hurt. See you tomorrow.

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book reviews, celebrities, mental health, psychology

My review of River of Time: My Descent into Depression and How I Emerged with Hope, by Naomi Judd

It’s hard to believe that a month ago, country music legend Naomi Judd, the maternal half of country music mother-daughter act, The Judds, was still among the living. I was in Italy at the time, enjoying an eagerly anticipated vacation. I was shocked, like so many others were, when I heard of her sudden death on April 30, 2022. Although they weren’t saying it at the time, it was pretty clear that she took her own life. It came out that Naomi Judd had suffered for many years with terrible, untreatable depression and anxiety. And, although she and her daughter, Wynonna, were to be honored for their musical achievements the very next day, Naomi simply couldn’t face life anymore.

Megyn Kelly interviews Naomi Judd about her depression, and her book, River of Time.

I was not a huge fan of The Judds, during their heyday. I do enjoy their music very much now, and I have a few of their greatest hits compilations. I read Naomi’s first book, Love Can Build A Bridge, which was published in the 90s, when Naomi was forced to temporarily retire due to her diagnosis of Hepatitis C. I also saw the made for TV movie based on that book. I also once saw Wynonna perform at a U.S. Army Birthday Ball. But, I am not a super fan of The Judds’ music, and wasn’t following news about them when Naomi died. I didn’t know about Naomi’s struggles with mental illness, and until my friend and fellow blogger, Alex, mentioned it in a comment, I also didn’t know that in 2016, Naomi published a book about her experiences with severe depression and anxiety. Although Naomi’s story clearly turned out to be less victorious than the book’s title, River of Time: My Descent into Depression and How I Emerged with Hope suggests, I decided to delve into it.

I read Naomi Judd’s book for several reasons. First off, I too, have suffered from clinical depression and anxiety myself, and I understand why it seemed so hard to beat it, because I remember how it made me feel. I was fortunate, in that my depression was treatable with talk therapy and Wellbutrin SR. It does, on occasion, rear its head again, but for the most part, I am much better than I once was. Secondly, I am a musician. No, I am not a “star”, and at this point in my life, I will probably never be a star… and frankly, I probably would not WANT to be a star, anyway. But I do make music, and I admire Naomi’s talents as a singer and songwriter. Thirdly, I come from similar, salt-of-the-earth, family stock. I didn’t know it when I started reading River of Time, but I could really relate to a lot of Naomi Judd’s comments about her family, and how people in her family made her feel. I’ll get more into that as this review progresses.

River of Time reads as if it comes straight from Naomi, but in fact, it was ghost written by author, Marcia Wilkie. I appreciated that this book really seemed to come from Naomi Judd’s heart, and I never noticed an intrusion by a professional writer. Some people felt that the book “jumped around a lot” and was “repetitive”. Personally, I didn’t find that an issue, but again, it did seem to me that this was a book coming from Naomi, rather than Marcia Wilkie. I see that at this writing, the book is offered on Kindle for $1.99, probably because ultimately, Naomi succumbed to her depression and committed suicide. I still think it’s well worth reading, for MANY reasons. So here goes…

Naomi Judd’s early years never suggested the great heights she would eventually reach…

Naomi Judd was born Diana Ellen Judd in Ashland, Kentucky on January 11, 1946. Naomi describes Ashland as a “grey”, ugly, industrial city. Her parents were poor, and not at all loving or demonstrative. Naomi made excellent grades in school and was a talented pianist, but her parents barely noticed. However, whenever she got any negative feedback from school officials, her father was quick to get out his belt and “whip” her. Naomi writes that she used to “borrow” her mother’s stiff rubber girdle when her father wanted to use the belt. She’d go to the bathroom, put on the girdle, and let him go to town, while she “hollered” like she was in pain. Apparently, he never caught on to Naomi’s ruse.

In this book, Naomi never refers to her original first name, or Wynonna’s. Wynonna was born Christina Claire Ciminella, although Naomi’s husband at the time of Wy’s birth was not her biological father. Wynonna was conceived when Naomi was seventeen years old, during Naomi’s very first sexual experience. She had a one night stand with a football player, she’d known in high school, a man named Charles Jordan. Naomi explains that she and Jordan got together for their tryst, because Naomi’s brother, Brian, was dying of leukemia. Naomi was very close to Brian, and she was feeling alone and vulnerable. As a lot of young girls do during their teen years, Naomi must have felt that connecting with a young man would make her feel loved and valued. Unfortunately, Charles Jordan abandoned Naomi, as soon as he found out about the pregnancy. Naomi quickly married Michael Ciminella, Ashley’s biological father, because Naomi’s mother, Polly, kicked her out of the family home.

Michael Ciminella’s family was sort of well off, and they lived a more comfortable lifestyle than Naomi’s family did. But Mrs. Ciminella was extremely obsessive about cleanliness and order. Naomi writes that when Wynonna was a baby, her mother-in-law had totally sanitized the whole house, and insisted that everyone wear masks and gloves before handling the baby. Even Naomi was expected to comply.

Naomi and Michael eventually moved to Los Angeles, California, where Ashley was born in April 1968. But the marriage didn’t last, and Naomi was soon raising her young girls by herself, with almost no help from Ciminella. After the divorce, Naomi reclaimed her maiden name and took the opportunity to change her first name, too. She enrolled in nursing school and eventually became a registered nurse. Unfortunately, when she was 22, Naomi was stalked by a violent, ex-con heroin addict, who beat and raped her. Still, somehow Naomi persevered and managed to launch her career in nursing. Meanwhile, she and Wynonna developed their musical chops, and eventually moved to Nashville, where they finally got their big break. Wynonna was eighteen years old when The Judds were on their way, but she and Ashley had still experienced a hardscrabble childhood, as their mother did everything she could to ensure their survival.

Naomi’s life heads south…

The Judds were wildly successful in the 1980s. They had fifteen #1 hit songs, and won dozens of music industry awards. Things seemed poised to continue in that direction, when Naomi started feeling ill. She went to a doctor, who told her that she had contracted Hepatitis C. She was told that her liver was “almost cirrhotic”, and that she had about three years to live. Fortunately, the medical establishment was wrong about her prognosis, but the diagnosis did force Naomi to retire in 1991. The Judds did a huge pay per view concert, which was a very successful event. Naomi eventually remarried in 1989, this time to Larry Strickland, a member of the Palmetto State Quartet, and former backup singer for Elvis Presley.

Although Naomi Judd had achieved great success in music, and also found the love of her life, she experienced extreme episodes of depression that left her feeling suicidal. So she did what wise people do when they feel sick. She saw a Nashville area psychiatrist. The psychiatrist did what a lot of psychiatrists do, when it comes to treating depression. He put her on antidepressants. She went through a huge list of them, and at times, she was never properly tapered off before the next drug was tried. Her doctor also prescribed the anti-anxiety medication, Klonopin. I took Klonopin myself at one time. Fortunately, it did nothing for me, and I quit taking it with ease. A lot of people get addicted to Klonopin, and other benzodiazepines. Naomi did, as did Stevie Nicks. Both women said that the drug destroys creativity and ambition.

The psychiatric drugs, and their lack of efficacy, along with the lack of talk therapy, made Naomi’s situation worse. She eventually landed in a psychiatric hospital at Vanderbilt University to be weaned off of the psychiatric drugs using IV phenobarbital. That was the first of several stays at mental health facilities, to include the psych ward at UCLA, as well as some posh rehab centers. She describes these experiences as if they were all horrifying– even the really plush, luxurious psych hospital was oppressive and terrifying. Eventually, she was able to get treatment from Dr. Jerrold Rosenbaum, a renowned psychiatrist at Mass General, in Boston. However, it was in Boston that she had electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), which used shock waves to improve. A lasting side effect from that treatment was the destruction of her ability to enjoy the taste of food. While ruining her sense of taste helped her lose weight, it also made one of her passions, cooking, a lot less enjoyable. She couldn’t even eat the treats she would make for others, because it all tasted “putrid”.

Still, Naomi Judd did find help when she discovered dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), which is a technique discovered by psychologist, Marsha Linehan. Naomi explains how the technique helped to center her and improved her mental health. DBT is a technique that is often suggested for people who aren’t helped by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a well-known method for treating depression. As of 2016, Naomi did seem to be very edified by DBT. Unfortunately, we now know that the help she received from DBT was temporary. She never lost her urge to end her life.

Naomi also writes a lot about her family of origin. There was a lot of tragedy in her personal history, some of which came before she was even born. Some of her blood relatives were legitimately severely mentally ill, and more than a couple of folks were real criminals. Indeed, Naomi’s granddaughter, Grace Pauline Kelley, has done time in prison for drug offenses. As I read about Naomi’s grandmother, Edie Mae, who allegedly killed her husband, Howard (who had almost been killed by his own dad, when he was a child), I could definitely see a pattern.

Other people’s reactions to this book…

I took a look at the reviews on Amazon, to see what others thought of Naomi’s story about her mental illness. A lot of people wrote that they found River of Time “depressing”, and they described Naomi as engaging in a “pity party”. Some people wrote that they felt this book was a plea for attention.

Having now read River of Time, I guess I can understand why some people didn’t like the book. The truth is, Naomi’s life was depressing. She came from a family where there was a lot of mental illness and abuse. Naomi was sexually abused when she was very young, and she was not treated with love, consideration, or kindness when she was growing up. And so, it stands to reason that her true story is sad, and it should not be surprising to anyone that there are many depressing elements to Naomi’s life story. She had severe DEPRESSION, for God’s sake. What were people expecting? I do think that anyone who reads this book should NOT be expecting a chirpy book about how beautiful life is. That would be very disingenuous.

I mentioned earlier in this review that I can relate to Naomi’s story. My early years weren’t nearly as traumatic as hers were, by any stretch. But I grew up with an alcoholic father, as she did, and my father’s method of discipline was usually the corporal punishment kind. While I think my mom was more loving that Naomi’s was, she was somewhat cold and uninterested in me, especially when my dad was still alive. Mom is very different now, but when I was a kid, she was rather neglectful. And so, I could relate to Naomi’s yearning to have some acknowledgement from her parents, and other people in her family. I think that “pity party”, “whiny”, and “attention seeking” aspect of her writing that some people don’t like, was actually a facet of her illness. Her parents were, in part, responsible for the condition was was in… and make no mistake about it, it WAS a very real, physical, and mental illness that she couldn’t help. But at least she did TRY to get better, which is more than a lot of people can say. And she was fortunate enough to be able to consult some of the biggest and most successful people in the business. She was even friends with Maya Angelou.

I think the negative comments she got in Amazon reviews came from people who, bless their hearts, just don’t have a clue! They have not experienced depression themselves, so they don’t understand why Naomi, with all she had going for her in life, simply couldn’t snap out of it and be happy. They see her as selfish and self-indulgent, and don’t understand that she experienced real torment. Obviously, that torment was what led her to kill herself at age 76, even as she and Wynonna were about to be honored again. And no, she wasn’t the better singer in The Judds, but she was clearly a big part of the duo’s success. Wynonna was probably destined to be a star, but there’s no denying that her mom helped her on her way. I can understand why Naomi felt that she was left behind, and why that would be one of the many causes of her depression. On the other hand, she also accomplished a lot on her own, and somehow, those accomplishments evidently didn’t raise her opinion of herself, or her life.

Overall…

I’m glad I read River of Time. It is a sad book, and it does have the capability of being depressing, but to me, Naomi’s story felt authentic. I could relate so much to a lot of what she wrote. My heart went out to her, on more than a couple of occasions, and I even felt a little verklempt at times when I read this. I really wish that she could have conquered her demons, and enjoyed her life until its natural end. As we all know, that wasn’t to be. Depression CAN be deadly, though, and her story is a stark reminder of that verifiable fact. It’s easy for people to look at someone else’s life and think they have no reason to be sad, or to complain about anything. I would urge people not to make those kinds of judgments. When it comes down to it, you never know what kind of hell someone might be experiencing privately. Life is tough for most people… even famous, beautiful, talented, and rich people, like Naomi Judd was. I hope wherever her soul is now, she’s finally at peace.

As an Amazon Associate, I get a small commission from Amazon on sales made through my site.

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homosexuality, music, psychology, YouTube

Phil Donahue inadvertently introduces me to a virtuoso…

Monday, after I had finished my usual chores, I was trying to decide what to do with the afternoon. Suddenly, I remembered the old talk show, Donahue, which aired the whole time I was growing up in the 80s. Hosted by the follicle blessed Phil Donahue, husband of actress, Marlo Thomas, this was a show I heard a lot about in those days, but never watched. It was a precursor to Maury Povich and Geraldo Rivera, and even Oprah Winfrey and her protege, Dr. Phil. But, as I was a child in the early 80s, I wasn’t interested in watching talk shows. I do remember the theme music, though, because I think my mom was a fan, even though Donahue was pretty liberal for those days.

Anyway, I went searching on YouTube, and sure enough, someone had posted episodes of Donahue that dated to the early 80s. The first episode I watched was particularly engrossing, as it aired on November 17, 1982. I was ten years old, and AIDS was becoming the latest public health terror. Prior to that year, AIDS existed, but rank and file Americans didn’t hear about it, because people mainly got it in Africa. On that November 1982 episode of Donahue, there were several fascinating guests. There was, Dr. Dan William, a doctor who was one of the pioneers in treating AIDS. Phillip Lanzaratta, man who had Kaposi’s sarcoma was there to talk about the then rare cancerous lesion he had because of AIDS. And there was also, Larry Kramer, a leader of a gay men’s crisis organization. All three of these guests are now dead, although Larry Kramer died fairly recently– in 2020, I believe.

If you have time and are interested, this is a fascinating episode.

What really struck me about the AIDS episode of Donahue is just how new and terrifying the disease was, and just how little we knew about it. I grew up in the time when kids who were unlucky enough to get HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, were not allowed to go to school. Ryan White was one of my contemporaries; he was six months older than me. Years later, I also read the heartbreaking story of Ariel Glaser, daughter of actor Paul Michael Glaser (Starsky and Hutch) and his late white, Elizabeth Glaser, who started hemorrhaging when she was giving birth in 1981. She was given a blood transfusion that, sadly, was contaminated with the virus. She breastfed Ariel, who contracted the virus that way. Elizabeth didn’t know she had the virus until 1985, when she and Ariel both mysteriously got sick. Ariel died in 1988, and her mother helped found the Pediatric AIDS Foundation. Elizabeth, who died in 1994, also had a son with Paul Michael Glaser, Jake. Jake was born with HIV, but has survived into adulthood. Before she died, Elizabeth wrote a book called In the Absence of Angels, which is a great read. I read the paperback version years ago. Maybe I should try to read it again.

Joshua Bell’s dad!

Since I had nothing better to do, I watched the next episode of Donahue that came up on YouTube. That episode, which aired October 14, 1981, had to do with homosexuality. The episode’s title was “Are Gays Born This Way?” I don’t think Lady Gaga was yet born when this show aired. 😉 The guests were Alan Bell, Ph.D. (author of “Sexual Preference”) and Lawrence Hatterer, M.D. (Professor of Psychiatry at Cornell University), each of whom came to their respective conclusions in different ways. I was particularly interested in Dr. Bell’s comments. He was very emphatic about his conclusions. He also reminded me of an old soap opera actor I used to enjoy on Guiding Light, Ron Raines, who played Alan Spaulding in the later years of the show. Interestingly enough, he took over a role that was played by the late Christopher Bernau, who was gay and died in 1988 of a heart attack that was brought on by AIDS. Bernau was only 49 years old when he passed– same age I am now.

Are Gays Born This Way? Yes… but it would take many years before Lady Gaga gave us the news.

I got caught up in the commercials, too, which were very different back then. They were longer, involved actual acting, and often starred people who went on to big fame. For instance, during the Donahue show, the actor Ian Ziering (of the original 90210 fame and a former Guiding Light alum) is in an ad for Scott paper towels. I’m pretty sure I saw Shelley Long, before her film and Cheers days, hawking furniture in another ad.

I looked up Alan Bell, and learned that his son, Joshua, is an incredibly gifted violinist. Much to my shame, I had no idea. He’s a few years older than I am, and very cute. Joshua Bell’s mother, Shirley Bell, worked as a therapist, and his father, Alan Bell, was a highly regarded psychologist at Indiana University. Shirley Bell’s mother was from Minsk, in Belarus, and her father was from Palestine; hence, she was Jewish. Bell was of Scottish descent. No wonder Joshua Bell had such great musical chops. 😉 The story goes that when Joshua was very young, he used rubber bands to make strings across the nine knobs on his dresser. His mother caught him plucking out music he’d heard her playing on the piano. Being a savvy sort of mom, Shirley Bell found her son a violin teacher. Now, Joshua Bell plays a Stradivarius and makes absolutely beautiful music. Seriously, I’m listening to him play as I write this… he really is extraordinary, and he doesn’t just play the classics.

The song I was just listening to… SIGH!!!!
And Joshua Bell playing “live”.

I also learned that Joshua Bell had a touch of his dad in him. Some years ago, he conducted an experiment for the Washington Post, donning a New York Yankees baseball cap and playing 45 minutes for free in the Washington, DC metro station. He earned $32.17 from passersby, not counting the $20 someone who recognized him gave him. Three days prior to his “free” concert in the metro station, Bell earned a whole lot more money playing for paying customers at a concert. Washington Post columnist Gene Weingarten won the 2008 Pulitzer Prize for Feature Writing for his article about the experiment.

Fascinating! You just never know who’s busking.

As an aside, I always make a point of giving money to buskers. I know how much goes into learning how to play music, and I appreciate the ambiance they contribute, especially in Europe. There have been a few occasions when I’ve even cried listening to some of the more talented street players. Like, for instance, a certain Polish guitarist Bill and I met last time we visited Florence (in 2013). We will be going back to Florence at the end of this month. I hope I run into Piotr again… and I’m so glad we bought his beautiful CD.

My friend Donna used to work at a classical radio station when she was a teenager. She said she had a huge crush on Joshua Bell back then. I’m ashamed to say that I simply hadn’t heard of him until two days ago, but last night, I bought several of his albums not having heard them before. I am listening to them now, and I’m not sorry I bought them. And to think I have Phil Donahue to thank for this! Who says you can’t learn from TV? Or from YouTube, for that matter?

Speaking of YouTube… about a month ago, some people on RfM who had endured some of my videos told me that I should try singing on camera. I don’t typically do that, because I get very self-conscious about my appearance. Also, I don’t put on makeup or regular clothes unless I’m going out in public, which I don’t do very often these days. But one poster was pretty adamant that I should try it. He also looks forward to seeing me play guitar and sing at the same time on video. I decided to buy a mic stand after that discussion, but only got around to making an on camera video yesterday. No, I’m not quite ready to play and sing at the same time, but yesterday I decided to record my version of an Alison Krauss cover of “Dreaming My Dreams With You”. I got notified by my favorite karaoke track vendor that the recording was available, so I downloaded it… and since yesterday, it was chilly and cloudy and I wanted to stall walking the dogs, I decided to try it on camera. I kind of cringe watching it, but the music turned out nicely, I think.

No makeup, no bra, and in fact, that is one of my nightgowns I am wearing… But it was well-received, anyway. I shocked a few people who knew me in high school, when I didn’t sing.

I don’t know what today will hold. Wednesday isn’t a big household chore day for me, so I’ll probably watch more Donahue. He does seem to be pretty interested in homosexuality… or at least he was in the 80s. But what really blows me away are some of the comments from the audience members. Listening to some of these folks is a reminder of how different society was in the early 80s. It’s a poignant look at what people who weren’t (or aren’t) straight had to deal with in the days before many people started to accept that not everyone is cisgendered. I generally have a lot of compassion for people who are different, but I am especially compassionate towards people who grew up at a time when it was especially difficult to be who they really are without risking huge consequences. And listening to some of the callers and audience members talk about homosexuality really just drives home what a challenge that must have been for so many people. My heart goes out to them.

Well, so ends another blog post. I’m going to practice guitar and maybe walk the dogs… and then I might look for another rabbit hole to fall into. Later, y’all!

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celebrities, disasters, music, obits, YouTube

Hana Horka bets and loses on deliberately catching COVID-19…

Yesterday, I wrote that I’m really tired of reading and hearing about COVID-19, and all of the preaching related to the virus. That’s still a true statement. However, this morning I read a very sad news story about Hana Horka, a woman from the Czech Republic who deliberately exposed herself to COVID-19. Why? Because like Germany, the Czech Republic is making life harder for the unvaccinated by denying them entry to restaurants, theaters, saunas, and the like. Unfortunately, her decision cost her dearly. Instead of heading for the nearest spa, newly recovered from COVID-19, this woman– only 57 years old when she died– is headed to the Great Beyond– whatever that is.

The story goes that Hana Horka, who was a member of famed Czech band Asonance, was against being vaccinated. Her son, Jan Rek, said that it wasn’t because she believed in any ridiculous conspiracy theories. She didn’t think, for instance, that anyone getting a vaccine was going to be implanted with microchips or have their DNA changed in some way. Rather, Rek says that his mother simply preferred to get COVID and have “natural immunity” to the virus instead of getting a vaccine.

According to Rek, over the Christmas holidays, he and his father, who are both fully vaccinated, both tested positive for COVID-19. Horka determined that this would be her chance to finally contract COVID-19 and qualify for a health pass. So, instead of isolating herself and avoiding her sick family members, Hana Horka deliberately exposed herself to COVID. She looked forward to getting the virus and eventually recovering, which would allow her the ability to, once again, access fun venues that are denied to unvaccinated people in many parts of Europe. Having recovered from the virus, Horka would also have been allowed to perform with Asonance without having to be vaccinated.

At first, it looked like her plan had worked. Two days before she died, Horka posted on social media, “I survived… It was intense. Now there will be theatre, sauna, a concert… and an urgent trip to the sea”. Unfortunately, that was not to be.

On the morning of her untimely death, Horka was feeling better. She got dressed to take a walk. But then her back started to hurt, so she went to her bedroom for a rest. Ten minutes later, she was dead, having choked to death.

I obviously don’t know what happened to cause Horka’s sudden demise, but I have read that COVID can cause blood clots. Perhaps she had a pulmonary embolism, which I know can and does kill people very suddenly. But her son mentions choking, which doesn’t sound like the same thing. Anyway, it’s a very sad loss, especially for her family members and friends, but also for anyone who enjoyed her talents. Asonance is the oldest folk band in the Czech Republic. I have no doubt that Horka’s music was beloved by many of her fellow Czechs as well as others around the world.

Hana Horka at work with her band. The music is over for her, now. I have tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat listening to this.

Horka’s son, Jan Rek, says that he blames the many “anti-vax” groups across Europe who have been protesting vaccine mandates. Approximately 63 percent of the population in the Czech Republic are fully vaccinated. Many of those who aren’t vaccinated have been protesting and rebelling against the government’s new restrictions. There are also reports of anti-vax groups holding “COVID parties”, in much the same way people in the 1970s deliberately exposed children to chicken pox. People who can prove that they have recovered from COVID-19 don’t have to be vaccinated, and they aren’t subjected to the restrictions that punish those who refuse to comply with vaccine mandates.

Rek says the anti-vax groups have “blood on their hands.” According to the Daily Beast, Rek also added:

“I know exactly who influenced her… It makes me sad that she believed strangers more than her proper family… It wasn’t just total disinformation but also views on natural immunity and antibodies acquired through infection.”

Rek said that it was pointless to discuss the merits of getting the vaccine with his mom because the discussion would very quickly become “emotional”. I heard similar comments about one of my unvaccinated sisters from my own mom, who had expressed concern to me that she refused the shots. Mom told me that she couldn’t talk to my sister about her worries, because my sister would very quickly get upset with her. Rek says that now he’s telling his mother’s story, hoping that might persuade some people to get vaccinated. It occurs to me that my sister, who has spent too much time in North Carolina, has a habit of saying “Holy Hannah!” as an exclamation. I can’t help but realize the next time I hear her say that, I’ll probably think of “Holy Hana…” in honor of this singer, who may very well literally be holy now.

I know that yesterday, I complained about the pandemic preaching and lectures on social media. I still do find that an annoying practice. However, I think sharing stories like this one is a valuable practice. The main difference is, like anyone else who has had direct experience with COVID, Hana Horka was a living, breathing, singing person who made real and measurable differences in people’s lives. In Hana’s case, it was obviously with her music, but I know there were other gifts she had that other people enjoyed. She made an unfortunate choice, that ultimately led to her destruction. Her story isn’t a “stale” meme, and it’s not been passed around social media like a plate of microwaved hors d’oeuvres at a party. This is real news, and unfortunately, Hana Horka is just one more face to add to the tragic tapestry of COVID-19 deaths.

Look at how much Hana Horka loved to perform. I wish I had discovered this band in a different way… not because a member died of COVID, but because they make beautiful music.
I think it’s profoundly sad that Hana can no longer sing with her band, all because of a tiny, destructive, deadly virus.

So, as much as I am sick and tired of face mask preaching social media posts, COVID-19 lectures, and arguments among friends and family, I do appreciate stories about real people who made choices, and how those choices worked out for them in the end. I do pay attention to their stories and I don’t laud their deaths. Listening to the videos above, I know that Hana Horka’s death is a real loss to many people. I wish she had chosen differently, and I hope her story informs those who need to know about it. But obviously, people are going to do what they’re going to do, and they’re going to believe what they’re going to believe.

My heart goes out to Horka’s family… especially her son, who obviously grieves for her. I’m sure it’s especially heartbreaking for him to know that his mother got the virus from him and his father. He probably lives with an especially hellish form of survivor’s guilt over that. I wish peace and comfort for them all.

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