first world problems, travel

A true first world issue…

Because this post involves travel, I’m going to cross post it on my travel blog. The featured photo was taken in 2019, when Bill and I went to Sweden to pick up our car and drove it on a Nordic adventure.

I’m in the midst of trying to plan a summer vacation/birthday trip for Bill and myself. Because of the whole COVID-19 odyssey, and the seemingly endless lockdowns that followed, we’ve decided that this year, we’d like to fly somewhere. And because there are a lot of places in Europe we still want to see, we decided to choose our destination using the “champagne bucket” method.

I’ve written about the champagne bucket method on my travel blog. Basically, I got the idea for it from “blind bookings” on Germanwings (now known as Eurowings). I’m not sure if Eurowings still does blind bookings, but Lufthansa does, and Lufthansa owns Eurowings. It basically involves booking a surprise flight, and usually paying a lower fare. You don’t know where you’re going until after you pay for the ticket(s). Bill and I have done it four times to great success. We visited Barcelona, London, Berlin, and Munich that way.

When we moved back to the States, I decided that it wouldn’t be hard to plan more of our vacations that way. Instead of relying on the airline, we just put our choices on slips of paper and put them in the champagne bucket. Then, Bill picks one of the slips out of the bucket.

I was really rooting for a trip to Armenia and possibly Georgia this summer. That was one of the choices, too. Bill was a bit reluctant, because of political and military issues going on in Armenia right now. We may still go there this year, but for a short trip to Yerevan, instead of an all out country tour. Then, I can show Bill where I lived, when I was a Peace Corps Volunteer, and sign him up for a more extensive trip. πŸ˜‰

Anyway, when we did our champagne bucket challenge, Bill ended up choosing Finland. Neither of us has ever been there before. We have been to Norway, Sweden, Denmark, and Estonia together. Bill has also been to Latvia a couple of times on business. Neither of us has seen Lithuania, but we’ve met people from there and Latvia on cruises.

Originally, I was planning for us to go to Helsinki and do a land based trip, then go by ferry to Tallinn, Estonia, stay a few days, and work our way south to Latvia and Lithuania, before flying back. Then I started researching and discovered, there’s no easy way to travel to Latvia and Lithuania that doesn’t involve riding a bus. We considered renting a car, but that seemed potentially risky.

So then I thought, maybe instead of trying to hit the Baltic capitals, I could go west. Visit Finland, do a day trip in Tallinn, then head west toward Norway, which we know we love. Then I thought, maybe it would be better to start in Norway, and head east to Finland, then go to Tallinn and spend a night or two…

Then I realized how expensive flights would be… plus the stress and inconvenience involving finding transportation, hauling bags, and booking hotels… and although I’d already looked for cruises and initially didn’t see any I liked, I kept getting ads for Regent Seven Seas on Facebook. And Regent is– or was– considered a luxury line, although it’s a much bigger ship than we usually go for when we cruise.

I noticed they had a cruise available during the time we plan to travel. It starts June 23 and ends June 30, and hits ports in Sweden, Helsinki, Estonia, Latvia, and Denmark. We could still go to Norway and do a land based trip, working our way to Stockholm, a city we’ve been to, but didn’t really get to explore at all in 2009. Best of all, the cruise in question is on sale. It’s still expensive, but doable for us. We wouldn’t even have to stay in the cheapest stateroom. I pitched the idea to Bill, who liked it.

I started making a booking request. It took about a half dozen times to finally get registered. I mismatched my email address, or added one too many dots in the address, or the passwords didn’t match. Finally, I had my account, and started to make the request.

But the stateroom I wanted was listed as twice as expensive than was advertised. While we technically could do it, I’d rather spend that much money on a new car or a down payment on a house. So I stopped making the request, and sent an inquiry to Regent, asking them to confirm that the cruise is on sale.

About an hour later, I got a phone call through my iPad, which I wasn’t prepared to answer, as I was reading something to Bill. I also got a message, written in German, indicating that the cruise is on sale, and inviting me to call between 11am and 8pm today. I sent a message back in English, asking if I have to call to get that rate, and clarifying that I’m American and can’t speak German worth a damn. πŸ˜‰

Then I went on Cruise Critic and started reading reviews and comments on the messageboards. The consensus is, the ship I’m looking at booking is beautiful, although Regent has “gone downhill” in recent years. Bill and I have done cruises on Royal Caribbean, SeaDream, and Hebridean Island Cruises. SeaDream and Hebridean, like Regent, are considered luxury and are all inclusive. However, they are much smaller ships. So Regent would be a different cruise experience for us, and it would offer some convenience, as we’d be hitting places we want to visit– albeit for a shorter time than we would personally plan for ourselves.

I truly am attracted to the cruise because of the itinerary and the time the cruise is going. I don’t have particularly high expectations of great service or being treated like royalty. A cruise just offers a convenient way to cross some items off our bucket list.

On the other hand, I was kind of looking forward to a deeper dive into the areas, and exploring more on our own. Also, there’s less chance of running into people with whom we don’t mesh when we do land based trips, or getting sick from any number of viruses on ships. I like to plan trips and look for interesting places to stay. I guess the pre cruise travel to Norway would offer that, but I was kind of wanting to get more of a feel for Finland.

Either way, this trip is going to be expensive. Good thing Bill got a generous raise this year. We do have the money, too… at least for the cruise. I’m just not used to having that, either… being somewhat well-heeled is kind of a new experience for us.

Sigh… a trip to Armenia would be a lot more economical. On the other hand, if I develop a bleeding stomach ulcer, I’d feel better about seeking treatment in a nordic country. πŸ˜‰

This is truly a first world problem. I’m sure I should just go for it and see what happens. We’ve had some great times on cruises and made some friends. And a bonus is, since Regent ships are a lot bigger, there’s less chance I’ll get seasick this time.

We’ll see what happens. I may scrap the idea of the cruise. It is tempting, though… Regent is probably more comfortable than the Stockholm to Helsinki ferry.

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music, musings

50 years and counting… Belgian style!

Well, I have officially made it to my 50th birthday. Technically, I entered the world at 11:40am eastern daylight time, having been born at the now defunct Dixie Hospital in Hampton, Virginia on June 20, 1972. I turned 40 in Hampton, since Bill had business trip, and we lived in North Carolina at the time. We visited my parents, and I got to see an old high school friend of mine, who treated me to lunch at a pub. I turned 45 in Alveringem, Belgium, and now I’m turning 50 in Antwerp. Antwerp has turned out to be an awesome place to celebrate.

This morning, I was surprised with a delicious mascarpone strawberry tart and champagne, coffee, an orange juice, and absolutely no room for anything else. Half the tart is being saved for later. Bill just handed me a birthday card. I usually get a mushy one from him, but this time, it was a funny card.

As I sit here looking at Bill, I thank God all of the crushes I had in my earlier years never worked out. I can’t imagine a more perfect man in my life. A lot of women dread turning 50, but I have to say, it’s not such a bad thing… at least not yet. I feel pretty good, and I have most of what I would ever want or need… and I get along great with Bill. So life is pretty okay right now, in spite of everything that’s happened since… well, since birth.

I may not be as young and pretty as I used to be… not that I was ever particularly pretty… but I did used to have a nice figure, smoother skin, and better eyesight. I do think I’m saner than I used to be. Things don’t upset me as much as they used to. I don’t have panic attacks anymore, and I don’t often have crying jags, unless it’s because I’m listening to beautiful music or watching a particularly moving scene in a movie, or something. It’s usually music that makes me cry, though. Especially live music. That’s better than crying because someone was mean to me or I’m overwhelmed by something.

And I’m grateful that I’ve been blessed with basic good sense and better health. I’m especially grateful that when I met Bill, even with all the challenges he was facing at the time, I knew he was the right person for me to spend my life with. I never thought I’d be that lucky, given that I don’t have tons of friends and never dated much. And yet, there he was, just when I thought I was going to be single. He’s perfect for me, and the best gift I could ever have.

As we were sitting at breakfast this morning, enjoying the strawberry tart and bubbles, I mused once again about how I somehow found the right person in the least likely place, ever. I have never met anyone who makes me feel more comfortable and at ease. The miracle is, I think he’d say the same thing about me.

Belgium has wonderful strawberries!

This point was driven home over breakfast, when another couple showed up. They barely spoke to each other and seemed dissatisfied and unfriendly. Here we are in one of Antwerp’s best hotels. The staff is super friendly and helpful. And the lady is complaining about the coffee and cutting the crusts off her bread. She sent the coffee back twice, then the two of them sat at the table in silence, making it seem awkward for conversation even among ourselves. Who knows what was going on, though. God knows, I have my days, too. It was just something we both noticed. Maybe they’re both just very introverted… or they have the Monday blues.

Anyway… I’m sure the day will be full of surprises. Time to get off the computer and celebrate. Going to go home tomorrow and write up our visit, which has been a lot more fun than I was expecting. Antwerp truly is an awesome town… as long as you aren’t driving. πŸ˜‰

By the way… just discovered this album. If you like jazz and Sesame Street, it’s fun!

Fun birthday find!

I think we’re going to do some shopping today… and probably more beer drinking. I can’t think of a better way to spend my first day of being 50. Nor can I think of a better person to spend it with.

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dogs, ethics, true crime

I’m calling it “puppy love”, and thinking it would be a doggone shame…

Hello from rainy Antwerp, Belgium. I took yesterday off, save for a short post on my travel blog, because Bill and I were having so much fun walking around the town. There was some kind of festival going on in the big square that went on all day, with lots of drinking, dancing, and carousing. It was fun to watch. Bill also rode on a ferris wheel for the first time, ever. That was a pretty big deal. We ended the evening at a piano bar, where we were poorly dressed, but managed to have a good time, anyway.

It’s hard to believe that I’m turning 50 tomorrow. I look back on my long history, and realize that my life is likely over half over. My Granny managed to live until she was almost 101 years old, but I doubt I will live that long. In fact, I hope I don’t. Granny had people to help take care of her. I don’t think I’ll have that. She was also much beloved by many. I know I won’t have that.

I don’t yet have much to say about turning 50. Maybe tomorrow, I’ll have more than a couple of comments. All I know is that my body is a lot more padded than I’d like it to be; I need new glasses and contacts; and sometimes my ankles swell up. They did when we were in Italy. Happily, they’re not doing that in Belgium.

Although we’ve been busy, I did take a moment to check on Ex and see what she’s up to… I have to say, I didn’t like what I saw.

Ex is still howling about wanting a dog for her “severely autistic son”. Under ordinary circumstances, that would probably be okay. Unfortunately, nothing about Ex is ordinary. She’s not your garden variety harmless person who loves normally. She is very likely a narcissist, which is bad news for any living thing in her sphere.

I had to gape in disbelief yesterday, when I noticed a couple of recent tweets by Ex. She’s still going on about getting a dog, and even falsely claims to be a “dog rescuer”. She doesn’t rescue dogs, and never has. As a matter of fact, she had a dog when Bill left– a little elderly poodle named Fifi whom she’d inherited from a relative who died. Bill liked Fifi. She was friendly and sweet. He said that when he visited the kids once, early after the breakup, Fifi still remembered him.

Bill was horrified later, when he heard from ex stepson that #3 got really angry one day and kicked Fifi so hard that she lost an eye. Bill asked Ex what happened, having related to her what he’d heard about Fifi from ex stepson. She got all sarcastic and pissy, and said, “That never happened.”

A few years later, when I stumbled across the evidence of what ex stepson was planning– changing his surname without telling Bill– I looked up #3 in the court system. Sure enough, there was an animal cruelty charge listed for him. I think the fact that #3 kicked a dog so hard that she lost an eye should exclude Ex and #3 from ever having pets again. Ex doesn’t agree, though. Recently, she tweeted this:

How?

Next, she claims she’s always been a “dog rescue momma”… But she has only had one dog that we know of, and that dog lost an eye because her husband couldn’t control himself. Notice that she’s asking for “help”, too. Help with what? Money, no doubt. Edited to add: We have since learned that they did have a dog for awhile, but he died of heart disease.

No, Ex. You don’t need to get a dog. You also have never been one to take suggestions from anyone.

No, you haven’t always been a “rescue dog momma”, Ex. Bill and I have always had rescue dogs.

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t care too much about this. But it’s just another example of the tremendous lies she puts out to the masses. Sometimes it seems like she lies, even when it would be easier to just tell the truth. And she’s still running a crowdfund campaign for a “new fence”, but no one is contributing to it.

I can’t help but notice that, once again, it seems like Ex is kind of emulating me. There are a number of “coincidences” that have come up in the 20 years I’ve known about her. Like, she went to grad school– or so she claims– to get a master’s degree after I told her in my one email to her that she shouldn’t be “diagnosing” Bill as a woman hater. He’s the exact opposite of a woman hater. And she didn’t used to be so excited about Scotland, but then about ten years ago, we started going there, because of my heritage. Now, suddenly, she’s in a famous clan… a famous clan that declined to raise her and put her up for adoption. :/

Now, she’s claiming to be a “dog rescue momma”, when we have not seen any evidence of that. Bill has known her since she was a teenager, and she’s only had the one dog… Fifi. And poor Fifi got abused by #3. Ex is claiming now that she wants a puppy to train as a service animal for her son. And yet, in her crowdfunding campaign, she writes that her son has escaped the house several times, once without pants. What will happen if, while she’s training the dog, it runs out and gets hit by a car? What happens if her son gets super attached to the dog, and the dog becomes a victim of negligence, or her husband’s evident inability to control himself when he’s angry?

I’m sure there’s a psychological name for people who can’t develop their own identities… It seems like she’s an empty shell of a person, always trying to fill the void with new things and new interests. But it never works. I just worry that a dog, who would be helpless against Ex, could really suffer in her “care”. According to reliable sources, Ex isn’t the one who does the heavy lifting, particularly when it comes to taking care of her son. That duty mostly falls to older daughter now, since younger daughter flew the coop… after Ex feigned a suicide attempt.

I do think it would be a tragedy if an innocent dog was brought into the mix. It won’t fix things. And if Ex is disappointed by the hard work, expense, and responsibility of taking care of a dog, it will just end up discarded.

I want to point out one other thing… something kind of sinister. Ex bears a resemblance to another woman… a woman who is now sitting in jail, awaiting trial for the disappearance and death of her children. I recently reviewed a book about Lori Vallow Daybell, and her crazy life. Ex has a few things in common with her. She’s had dealings with the LDS church. She’s been married multiple times and has children by different fathers. She’s big into fantasy… and she has an autistic child. Lori Vallow Daybell’s adopted son, J.J., was autistic and had a service dog. Days before J.J. disappeared and was murdered, likely by Lori’s fifth husband, doomsday Mormon author, Chad Daybell, Lori got rid of the dog. I could see Ex doing the same, when the dog becomes too inconvenient, expensive, or drains too much of her narcissistic supply.

So count me among those who are silently hoping Ex doesn’t get what she claims to want. I don’t think it would be good. Hopefully, any dog people who get contacted by Ex will be wise enough to steer clear.

Anyway… just had to get that off my chest. Time to continue my birthday celebration… which will proceed with a nap. πŸ˜‰

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