rants

Please refrain from telling me to refrain…

You know what I hate? I hate it when someone presumes to ask me to “refrain” from doing something. When someone says, “Please refrain” to me, I really want to kick them hard in the crotch and watch them double over in pain. But I don’t, of course, because that would be a criminal act. Usually, when people ask me to “refrain”, it’s because I’m doing something that they find annoying, not something criminal. So I do mostly refrain from smacking, kicking, spitting, or even cursing, even though the urge is there. Instead, I usually smile, appear to refrain, and then go back to whatever it was I was doing before I was requested to “refrain”. However, the gif below pretty much sums up what I’m thinking whenever someone says “Please refrain…” to me. In other words, kindly fuck off and die.

via GIPHY

I’m in a silly mood this morning, hence today’s lighthearted blog topic– which, for the dense among you, is a JOKE. Of course I’m not going to start (or go back to) kicking people in the crotch. For one thing, people who ask me to “refrain” are usually online, and thus are not in the strike zone. For another, I may have a temper at times, but I’m not a violent person, and no one is worth being arrested for, no matter how irritating they are. And for another, if I don’t manage to drop the other person like a sack of potatoes, they may try to kick me in the crotch. Luckily, I have a substantial beer gut to protect my minge, but I’m not a fan of public humiliation, especially when I’m the one experiencing it. So instead of acting physically, I simply think to myself… man, would I like to see this idiot get hit by a runaway puppet stage or bowling ball…

For some reason, this morning I was reminded of the word “refrain” used as a directive and why I find it so annoying when people direct that particular request to me. I think it’s because people who ask me to “refrain” presume that they have the right to, and that I will respond in a meek, compliant manner. It’s supposed to be a polite request, but in order to make that particular request, you kind of have to have some nerve and no fear that the person will ask you to take a long walk off a short pier. I generally don’t mind responding to polite requests, but if your request involves the word “refrain”, just know that I probably think you’re a major asshole… not that I expect you to care. People who ask me to refrain are usually right down there with strangers who call me “sweetie” or “hon”, especially when they’re younger than I am. I mean, seriously… fuck off with your requests to refrain. Please refrain from telling me what to do. I’ll grant you the same consideration.

I’m not actually a “meek” person, although I’m also not “savage”. If you get me pissed off enough, I will definitely take action in a way that is legal, yet quite effective. However, I also know that some battles are simply not worth fighting, and sometimes it’s easier to comply than get into it with some twit who thinks they can order me around. Still, people who say, “please refrain” to me are usually people I fantasize about clocking with a bunch of ripe bananas or a tire iron. Again, since I am not a violent person and have no desire to be arrested, I refrain from actually doing so. Instead, I indulge in silly fantasies and ideas, like this one.

I have also received unexpected guests when I have actually been sick and they weren’t considerate enough to call or email first… and I think the get well cards would have been lost on them, because they lacked that much situational awareness and common courtesy.

Think about this. A friend or family member would feel comfortable enough to simply say, “Please stop that.” And because I have respect and regard for them, it won’t bother me that they made that request. I’ll probably even stop whatever it is that they want me to stop and be fine with it. But someone who says “Please refrain.” is usually a stranger who has sized me up and thinks, this person will do what I want because I used high falutin’, formal language that includes the fancy legalese word “refrain” as well as the quasi polite word “please”. And no matter what, the person making that request thinks they have the right, and are coming at me from their perceived moral high ground… and they’re usually doing it on my space– like on social media or in blog comments. Here’s a clue. If you don’t like what I say or what I write, you can “refrain” from visiting my space and interacting with me. Find another space more to your liking. Because, believe me, I will refrain from following you. I may be a lot of things, but I’m no stalker.

This topic comes up a day after I read a Facebook exchange involving the famous ex Mormon, Mike Norton, aka NewNameNoah. In recent years, Mr. Norton has become somewhat a celebrity, because he somehow managed to sneak tiny cameras into LDS temples around the United States. He filmed their religious ordinances and put them up on YouTube for the world to see, which has both pissed off and delighted people around the globe. Mike Norton also thinks Donald Trump is an “assclown”, which is another reason I like him. We agree wholeheartedly on the issue of Trump.

So yesterday, Norton posted his thoughts on Trump, and some guy wrote something along the lines of, “stick to criticizing the church instead of opining about politics”. Mike Norton, in all his awesomeness, basically told the guy to go fuck himself because he’s no one’s “dancing monkey”. He says and does what he wants. Anyone who doesn’t like it can buzz off. He’s very consistent about stating this philosophy, too. Here’s a screenshot of Mike’s general comment to the peanut gallery following him back in November 2019.

For those of you reading this… consider my thoughts to be the same as Mike’s.

I’m mostly not a fan of telling people what they can or should be doing, writing, or saying, anyway, at least when they’re in their own space. I especially hate it when I read rants about banning words. Like, a few years ago, there was a movement to ban the “r” word– that is, “retard”. I don’t like that kind of movement, because the word “retard” has some practical usages. Yes, it’s a word that is sometimes used to insult, humiliate, and demean people, but it’s also a word found in romance languages that means “to hinder”. Why should that word be completely banned simply because some people choose to use it to hurt others? It’s ridiculous. Banning that word will not stop people from being abusive. They’ll simply come up with another word, and we’ll be back at square one, trying to ban yet another “offensive” word… and that’s if they even choose to acknowledge the so-called ban.

This morning, I ran across a rant about the word “savage”, and how it should be banned. I was interested, since I once got called a racist on my original blog for calling violent behavior “savage”. A female commenter wrote that the word “savage”, implying its use in all forms, deeply offended her because she has Apache ancestry… as if I could possibly know that about a random person who came on my space, didn’t like my opinions, and proceeded to leave me a nasty, insult filled screed in my comments section. She called me “fat-assed”, “cabbage patch ugly”, and assumed I’m “lighter skinned” because I didn’t think it was cool that her friend’s Marine Corps husband was sitting in prison for ambushing, robbing, and badly beating up a guy who was having sex with the Marine’s wife/the commenter’s “friend” while the Marine was deployed.

Why is it okay for that person to come on my space and call me filthy names because she doesn’t like my opinions, but it’s not okay for me to say that a particular behavior is “savage”– which, by the way, is not at all always a racist thing to say. I didn’t even call the person “a savage“. I described the behavior– ambushing, robbing, and beating up a man, tying him to a chair, and leaving him for dead– as “savage”– which means “uncivilized”, “ferocious”, or “cruel”. I think the violent actions I described are uncivilized, ferocious, or cruel, don’t you? Yes, I could have used those other adjectives instead of “savage” to make my point, but I don’t always think to be “politically correct” in all situations, especially since “political correctness” is a concept that is ever changing.

It’s not the end of the world if someone uses a taboo word. Simply describing something as “savage” does not make someone a racist, especially when the word is not used in an insulting manner. Use your brains, people. Critical thinking is a good thing, and frankly, we all have much bigger fish to fry than policing other people’s language, anyway. Australia is literally on fire, and it looks like we could be headed into another war– this time, with Iran, and they ain’t Iraq! Who gives a fuck if I say something is “savage”?

Notice that the person who wrote the rant against “savage” also uses the words, “Please refrain.” No… I will NOT refrain from using language simply because it offends you. You’re not the language police, the boss of me, or the person who decides what is or is not acceptable for everyone to say or write. And really, presuming that you can ask people who aren’t children to “refrain” from using certain language simply because you find it offensive is pretty ballsy, isn’t it? There’s no way I can know ahead of time what will be “offensive” to another person, and I’m not about to alter my language for every single person who comes into my sphere. Don’t like what I say? Simply disassociate. It’s that easy. Again, for those who came in after the credits–please refrain from telling me what to do. I’ll grant you the same consideration.

Whew… well, I had more to say about this subject than I thought I would. It really was supposed to be a funny rant. I guess it just bugs me that I already got through childhood, during which people were always correcting me for one thing or another. Now, I’m an adult, social media is a thing, and other folks are still trying to dictate to me how I should be behaving or communicating. I really do the best I can not to deliberately be an ass to people. I don’t go out of my way to upset or annoy others. Most folks who are pissed off at me nowadays started it by knocking on my door uninvited, or hanging out on my space. I have never once handcuffed anyone and forced them to listen to me, and if someone’s “offensive” language is the worst thing you encounter in a single day, you’re damned lucky!

Now… all of this is written with the idea that you’re voluntarily in my space. If I’m in your space and you don’t like a certain word or language I’ve used, you certainly have the right to say, “please refrain.” And if you do, I’ll do my best to honor your wishes, probably by going away permanently. What can I say? Life is too short for that nonsense. The older I get, the more I appreciate the animals in my life.

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