athletes, communication, LDS, mental health, YouTube

“We have news for the beautiful people. There’s a lot more of us, than there are of you.”

Today has gotten off to an interesting start. Bill stayed home this morning to help out with the new washer and dryer delivery. They are now here and hooked up, and I’ve been trying to get them connected to WiFi. So far, I managed to get the dishwasher added– we got a new one a few months ago, courtesy of the landlord. But now that I’ve spent an hour or so, trying to decipher German, I’ve concluded that the new machines can’t be connected to WiFi, because somehow in 2023, they don’t have that capability. Oh well… at least it looks like they have timers, so I can see how much time is left in a cycle. That, in and of itself, will make things easier. Our old machines didn’t even have that.

So anyway, I’m giving up on the WiFi for the new appliances. It’s not the end of the world, and maybe might even be better not to have them connected to the “smart” system we have in this house. Last night, Bill manually turned on my desk lamp and knocked it off the network, so I had to re-add it today. The lamp has two bulbs– one is labeled 12, and the other is labeled 18. I turn them on and off using an app on the iPad.

The other thing that happened is kind of comical. I went on Cruise Critic and noticed that for the first time in months, someone posted on the Hebridean Island Cruises board. It was a response to a post I wrote just after Queen Elizabeth II died. I mistakenly wrote HRH instead of “Her Majesty”. The “helpful” person decided to tell me that I got it wrong… eleven months later. I thanked them for the correction. What else could I do, other than be rude about it? She wasn’t my queen, anyway.

Which brings me to today’s title… Since it was Monday and kind of rainy outside, I decided to make a new music video. I’ve been messing around with the idea of doing a song by the Rolling Stones, but I need to work on it some more, to figure out how I want to go about it. After about an hour or so, I decided to do an “old” Pat Benatar song, instead. I chose “True Love”, a song she wrote with her husband, Neil, for her 1991 album of the same name. I know it wasn’t one of her most successful releases, but that album happens to be one of my favorites by Pat Benatar. It’s basically Pat doing the blues, at which she excels. That was the genre where she got her start, decades ago. I love to do blues songs myself, so I gave it a whirl.

No, I’ll never be a “hottie”, but I still have some worth, right?

I decided not to put on makeup yesterday, or even get one of my trademark shawls to wear over my usual attire. I was a little nervous about doing that, but then I realized that I didn’t look that much different without makeup. I doubt anyone cares, anyway. I don’t have a big audience, either way.

Someone new left me a really kind comment. A woman named Julie wrote “Simply awesome! Love this!”

So I responded with thanks, and “That makes my day!” (which it really does)

And she came back and wrote, “knotheadusc, you need to keep going, you are awesome, unique and beautiful!”

What an incredible mood booster that was! People are usually so quick to tear others down, and yet here was this lady, saying such a kind thing to me! It really made me feel good, and gave me some faith in humanity… until I visited RfM.

Some time ago, someone posted a thread about nudity. I decided to respond to it, because I am a big fan of nudism. Below is my first comment:

I live in Germany and in spite of my fluffy and decidedly unsexy body, I LIVE for the nude spas. It took me a long time to take the plunge, but once I did it the first time, I was hooked. I find it very liberating! And honestly, after the first few minutes, it’s no big deal at all. No one is looking at other people or mocking them. They’re at the spa to relax.

I’ve written about this a bunch of times in my blog and those are, by far, some of my most popular posts, ever.

The funny thing is, I was a lot more self-conscious about showing my face on YouTube, than I was about being naked in front of a bunch of Germans. But now, neither experience is a big deal to me, anymore. My husband, the exmo, has always been a bit bashful about his body. But even he’s learned to embrace a trip to the Friedrichsbad.

I’ve been to several textile free spas in Germany, and although I tend to be critical and shy about my appearance, I really do find the nude spas very liberating. I’ve written about the experiences Bill and I have had a few times on the travel blog, and those posts tend to be very popular. Bill is still kind of shy about the nude spas, but he indulges me. Honestly, most people are really only naked when they’re in the pools. In the saunas, or when they’re just lying around, most people cover up with a towel or wear a robe.

Quite predictably, someone came along and posted two comments, neither of which were to my comment:

——————————————————-
> I have two stories on this topic.
>
> I was in Germany on a business trip years ago.
> First night at the hotel, I decided to find the
> sauna. I found the sauna. I was wearing swim
> trunks and left them on, as I would in the states.
> No one else was in there when I went in.
>
> In a few minutes, a French couple came in and sat
> down with nothing on.

You make this all sound wonderful, but it’s not. I’ve been in continental Europe and have seen these types of people. Like my comment below, they are rarely the type of people you’d want to see nude. They tend to look more like the older Hilda Schwab than the younger Gina Lollobrigida. Or in the case of males, more like Ron Jeremy than Brad Pitt.

Someone responded, quite correctly:

Whoosh. People don’t go nude to arouse you or anyone else.

Nor, for that matter, does your Speedo improve the experience for others.

The second comment was further down the thread. Same person wrote this:

In reality, the type of people who tend to take their clothes off in public, rarely tend to be the people one would like to see nude.

People can whitter on all they like about body shaming, but unless you have a “beach bod” (and only a handful of us do), you should put it away.

I decided to respond to that suggestion… again, it was later in the evening.

In my experience, people in the nude spas aren’t sitting around looking at each other. They’re there to relax and are focused on themselves. They usually wear robes or wrap up in towels if they aren’t in the pools.

I don’t care if someone else thinks I’m not “hot” enough to gawk at. I’m not at the spa for anyone but me. Plus, I’m always there with my husband, anyway. He loves me for my mind.

If you’re going to nude areas inspecting other people’s bodies and judging them, you obviously don’t belong there. Spas are for healing, not ogling others.

Reading that just drove home how “cavemen like” so many people are, especially in American culture. It seems like in the United States, so many people are only concerned with the external. The fact that this person– I’m almost certain it’s a man– thinks that people ought to “put it away” because they don’t have a “beach bod” is just a reminder as to why I like living over here. Most people aren’t that shallow… and if they are, I don’t understand them, anyway. 😉

It actually took me a long time before I was ready to “take the plunge” at a textile free spa. I found the experience exhilarating, and not a big deal at all. Like I said, if you actually attend a spa, you notice that no one is staring at you… nor is it a place where there’s no one but hotties. I’m reminded of a line from Revenge of the Nerds, when the character, Lewis Skolnick, says “We have news for the ‘beautiful people’. There’s a lot more of us than there are of you.” How true that is.

I wonder what makes that person think he’s the authority on whether someone is “hot” enough to be naked in public. Everybody has a different definition of what and who is “beautiful”. It’s a subjective thing. Moreover, there are a lot of different ways to show beauty. Some people are physically attractive to most people, while others have other beautiful qualities that can’t immediately be seen. Unfortunately, there are a lot of shallow people who really only care about what makes their crotches stir.

What matters most to me, personally, is whether or not Bill finds me beautiful. He does, so that’s really all that counts, in my opinion. What some random moron thinks about my body is none of my business. But so many of these folks want to share their vile opinions. They need to mind their own business and stop emulating Donald Trump.

By the same token, I’ve been seeing a lot of crazy comments about Simone Biles, who at age 26, has decided to make another run at the Olympics. She is still a serious contender, too. At her most recent meet, she cleaned up in the medals. But people still want to shit all over her for doing what she does.

I’ve read so many toxic and ignorant comments about how she’s a “quitter”, because she opted not to compete in several events during the 2020 Olympic Games. I’ve taken to just blocking people who leave unkind comments about her, because I think anyone sitting on the couch negatively judging Simone for what she does must be a pretty shitty person. She has every right to try to make the Olympic team. She may not succeed, but she certainly has the right to try. And if she doesn’t feel safe taking a risk while competing, she has the right to make a decision not to compete. More people need to “zip it.”

It really amazes me how many people think they need to share their opinions about how other people look or what they’re doing with their lives. It just makes me wonder if these folks are just dreadful people who just want to watch the world burn. Hell, with climate change, it won’t be long before that’s a literal experience for a lot of us. Why make life worse by being toxic and rude?

Anyway… I do really appreciate the kind comment that one person left yesterday. Those are the people who give me hope for humanity.

Now… I think I will play guitar, walk Noyzi, and maybe even try out my new laundry facilities. Catch you later.

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communication, condescending twatbags, fashion, first world problems, language, musings, narcissists

Your body is telling me to GTFO of here, pronto!

In my first travel blog post today, I wrote about a non-verbal interaction I had with a fellow cruise passenger during our “free” hotel stay in Stockholm. In my post, I issued a disclaimer that my impressions of that non-verbal interaction might have been off base. Sometimes, I do get things wrong. However, I don’t think I was wrong in this case. I’ve “heard” the same thing from other people who later issued similarly offensive communications in verbal form. It usually starts with someone glancing at you and looking like they just smelled shit.

I sort of expect these kinds of situations to erupt, especially when I’m among the especially privileged. I’d say anyone lucky enough to be cruising on Regent Seven Seas Splendor is among the most privileged of people in the whole world. Bill and I certainly aren’t wealthy, but we can afford nice things, and we do partake in luxury sometimes. However, we don’t necessarily look the part of the rich and fabulous. Consequently, sometimes we’re on the receiving end of disdainful looks from the more polished and obviously prosperous.

One thing I’ve noticed on luxury American cruise ships is that there tends to be a gamut of people. You’ll see super wealthy and successful types aboard– people with trophy wives (and husbands) and all of the trappings of success. And you’ll see a lot of much younger people who don’t look like they should be able to afford such a vacation. Experience has taught me that those folks usually work in the travel industry. My British “friend” who works in the travel industry tells me that people in that field can score insanely good deals on travel, allowing them to experience exotic and luxurious trips with the wealthy. You’ll also see people like Bill, who work hard and earn a decent wage for what they do– and don’t necessarily own beautiful homes, fancy cars, or memberships at country clubs, but are able to splurge on luxury cruises or hotels.

Not everyone who has money is an asshole, of course. Bill and I have met many really wonderful folks who have truly been blessed– both with wealth, and with fabulous personalities. But luxury travel also attracts a lot of self-entitled jerks who automatically look down their noses at others without knowing a single meaningful thing about them. This post is mainly about those types of people, who are fortunately probably in the minority.

One thing I noticed when I was on this particular vacation is that I suddenly don’t care that much about shallow, vain types of people. I certainly didn’t waste any time trying to impress them. I used to be more offended by that kind of behavior– snobby, disdainful, judgmental, and flat out rude. Now, I just think it’s kind of sad… and perhaps a little bit amusing. Imagine going through life looking down your nose at everyone just because you think they’re somehow beneath you, based solely on qualities as fleeting as how they look!

Most of the time, when I’m just at home with Noyzi, I look like warmed over crap. I don’t wear makeup. I usually don’t wear a bra unless I’m going out in public. I don’t fix my hair. I dress for comfort instead of style. Even at my youngest and freshest, I didn’t have a particularly nice figure. And yet, my husband shows me every day how much he loves and adores me. We always have a good time together, and never run out of things to talk about. There’s an endless stream of inside jokes and shared memories between us. And we clean up quite nicely, too.

Maybe it’s wrong for me to say that I don’t care about this “disdain” I sense from others when I’m out and about. I guess I do care, otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this post. It’s just that this time, instead of feeling pissed off and outraged about it, I noticed that I was actually more amused. Because I think of some of our favorite memories, especially when we’ve been traveling, and they don’t include people like the guy in the hotel lobby in Stockholm. They typically include more down-to-earth folks like the hilarious Spanish bum we encountered in Seville back in 2014.

The most interesting and memorable people I’ve ever encountered are people who might get a disapproving glare from the “gentleman” we encountered on our cruise. Even the narcissistic guy on our second SeaDream cruise– who actually told Bill “Now I can see why you’d love her…” after hearing me sing– was at least open-minded enough to look beyond the surface. The guy we ran into on the ship will likely never know truly awesome people, because he’s apparently mostly interested in superficial things like a person’s outward appearance and attractiveness. And yes, I do think that’s sad and very limiting for him. What’s the point of traveling if you don’t want to encounter people who are different? He might as well stay home and hang out at the country club. I guess Regent could be considered kind of a country club at sea. 😉

Ah well… I suppose we all do that kind of judging from time to time. It might even be called a form of self-preservation. We size people up based on their appearances. Someone who looks clean, well-fed, and employed might seem more trustworthy than someone who looks dirty, unkempt, and in need of assistance, even if the clean looking person is a notorious cheat, and the homeless person looks the way they do because they gave a friend the shirt off their back. Most of us feel most comfortable around people who are like us on some level. And to be honest, I’m doing a fair bit of judging myself, based on that guy’s apparently negative attitude. For all I know, he only looked like he smelled shit because he actually did step in some while strolling around Stockholm.

One thing I noticed on our trip is that I no longer really feel like an American, even though I definitely am one on every level. I think when we go “home” again, I’m going to feel out of place, and there’s going to be a hell of a culture shock to adjust to… I’ve experienced it before, although the last time, I was actually looking forward to going “home” to America. This time, I dread the idea. And yet, it’s still my home, and there are people, places, and things I still miss there.

Well… I’m not sure how much sense this post makes, or even if it’s offensive on some level to some people. It was just something on my mind today. Travel has a way of erasing prejudices for most… at least those who are open to new experiences and meeting different kinds of people. It’s good for the soul, and good for opening minds and hearts. And I totally realize that maybe a luxury cruise isn’t the best place to be preaching about such things. But even on a luxury cruise, there’s a class system, and on some level, it is kind of hurtful to be deemed lower class… especially when it’s evidently only based on something as superficial as physical appearance (and by this, I don’t include what is written on a person’s facial expressions or revealed within their body language).

Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, time to have some lunch and get back to writing up our trip!

(The featured photo is of me on the first night of the cruise, freshly scrubbed, made up, and coiffed… I was probably still too ugly to be in the presence of the shit smelling man in Stockholm… Somehow, I’ll have to find a reason to keep living. 😉 )

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