Tag Archives: Noyzi

complaints, music, videos, YouTube

Why do “user friendly” applications have to be so unfriendly?

I swear, I’m not a “boomer”, nor am I a member of the “greatest generation”… I’m sitting here having flashbacks to the late 1990s, when my dad struggled to send emails and would call the local computer wizard to help him with that basic task. So many of us tried and failed to teach him that skill. It got so bad that the local computer wizard quit answering my dad’s calls!

No… I’m not THERE yet… But I do seem to be having some issues with iMovie that I didn’t used to have.

On my travel blog today, I wrote a post about how I made a new music video starring our dog, Noyzi. This is something I’ve done dozens of times over the years. I bought my first iMac in 2011, and although no one ever taught me how to use iMovie, I quickly figured out how it operated. I made a whole bunch of YouTube videos, most of which didn’t feature my visage at all.

It wasn’t until some months ago that I finally decided to make music videos that show my face. Surprisingly enough, the videos that show me tend to do better, even if I think pretty scenery and pictures of my dogs are much more beautiful than I am. But, as I explained in my travel blog a few days ago, I had a really nasty looking “bloody eyeball” bruise over the weekend that was kind of disturbing to look at. It was mostly healed yesterday, when I decided to make a new video, but the song I recorded just really lent itself to using clips of Noyzi, insteading of my homely mug. So I recorded the audio portion of the video, then went off to iMovie, to make the visual part.

I tried to drag photos and clips from my photos into the editor. None of them would import. I got one of those circles with the diagonal lines through them when I tried. I went looking for an explanation and a solution. I found a few suggestions, most of which involved granting permissions, moving media into the application, rebooting my computer, updating software, and changing security settings. I did all of that, but today, I still can’t make videos the way I used to.

Another hindrance is the fact that everything help related seems to be made in a video, rather in a written article, which can be a good thing or a bad thing. Yesterday, I was finding that I had to keep stopping and starting the videos I tried to watch in order to help myself, flipping back and forth to try to fix the issue. Ultimately, my efforts failed, anyway.

I created yesterday’s video using my trusty laptop. I don’t like to make videos on that, because I don’t have a mouse for it. I did have one for my old laptop, but I so seldom used it that I didn’t bother to get one for my newer one. Consequently, it’s a real pain to try to maneuver things on my laptop, and it makes creating videos all the more annoying. I did manage to succeed yesterday, though. I thought maybe I could just make the visual part on the laptop and send it to my desktop, but no dice… the video would NOT load into my iMovie app. I got the infuriating circle with a line through it and the message that I “didn’t have permission”. Grrr… it’s my computer and MY photos, dammit!

So then I airdropped my audio track to the laptop and created the video that way. It’s now on YouTube, doing fairly decently in terms of engagement. And today, I’m looking into seeing what I can do to fix the settings on my newest computer, so I don’t have to use the laptop the next time I don’t want to video directly from my desktop machine.

I’m sure there are better video editing software programs out there, but as I’m not a technogeek, I have no desire to try to find a new program and figure it out. In the past, I’ve bought new software, only to never use it, because I couldn’t quickly and easily figure out how it worked. I just want the Apple software to work easily. Is that too much to ask?

Some people are fascinated by techie stuff. Figuring things out is exciting and fun for them. I am fascinated by figuring certain things out, too… but mastering computers isn’t among my passions. I wish it was. It might make me more employable. Some people really have a real gift for mastering any and all gadgets, but I am definitely not one of them. I could probably make videos on my old desktop, but I relegated it to light duty for good reason. It’s kind of on its last legs.

Anyway… I’m sure the issue plaguing me is a minor thing. It’s just annoying, is all. But it’s not as annoying as the prospect of vacuuming the house, which is today’s dreaded chore. Guess I’d better get on that.

By the way… I’m dealing with a petty annoyance on my travel blog, too. For some reason, it won’t let me use certain category tags on my posts. For instance, if I try to tag a post with “Germany” or “dogs” or certain other categories, it will automatically revert to “uncategorized”. It doesn’t do that for all categories, just certain ones. It’s very annoying, but not as annoying as contacting tech support. I just wish things would WORK properly!

Edited to add… I ended up deleting iMovie and reinstalling it, and Final Cut. Final Cut, which I hadn’t even had on this computer (I bought it for my old one), was giving me the same weird error. It finally let me move a clip, but presented it as a still photo instead of a video. But then I tried iMovie again, and that time it worked. Why it suddenly worked is a mystery, but for now, my issue is resolved. All’s well that ends well… for now, anyway. 😀

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dogs, ideas, lessons learned, mental health, narcissists, psychology, skills

What’s the harm in pumping up the volume a little?

I’m taking a break from my travel blogging to offer today’s regular blog post. It’s not a holiday in Germany, but Bill is home today, because it is a US holiday on post. He made us breakfast– what we usually eat on Saturdays– and walked Noyzi, who was just reunited with his collar last night.

When Bill picked up Noyzi on Sunday, he forgot to retrieve his collar, which the folks at the Hundepension had removed while he was staying there. I think Noyzi likes wearing his collar. Sometimes, he reminds me a lot of our first rescue, a blue eye beagle husky mix named CuCullain (CC), who also loved wearing his collar and hearing it jingle.

CC was very well behaved, and had a temperament much like Noyzi’s. Sweet, but slightly aloof at times, and more prey driven than pack oriented… And, just like CC, he hangs out with me all day, quietly lying at my feet, but rarely making any demands. Unfortunately, we only had CC for 16 months, as he contracted a very rare and fatal mycobacterial infection (Mycobacterium Avian). Sometimes, I think CC has come back through Noyzi, although Noyzi is also very much his own dog.

Anyway, as we were eating breakfast, I played a video I made on the ship. I put it on the first travel blog post I wrote this morning. Bill grimaced as he listened to it. He said, “I don’t like the sound of my own voice.”

I sympathize. I don’t like listening to myself speak, either. And I earned minors in both speech and communications when I was in college, worked in radio broadcasting, and am a singer. I don’t even particularly enjoy my singing voice, although other people claim to like it. I don’t mind hearing myself as I talk or sing, because it sounds different when you’re listening to your voice in your own head. When you hear a recording of your voice, you hear yourself as others hear you, and it can be disorienting.

But in Bill’s case, it goes beyond that disorienting feeling of hearing a recording of his own voice. For as long as I’ve known him, Bill has said he doesn’t like the sound of his own voice. The first time I ever heard him speak was over the crackling connection of 2000 era VoIP (Voice over Internet Protocol). Back then, I didn’t think he had a particularly offensive voice, but I distinctly remember him confessing that he didn’t like hearing himself speak. He says he still feels the same way 23 years later.

As I got to know Bill better, I noticed I often had to ask him to speak up. He later told me it was because when he was a child, he was often encouraged to “use his indoor voice” and squelch that natural instinct children tend to have to be loud. I don’t mind a man who is conscious of being too loud in public. But sometimes, it pays to be assertive and speak up… and out. There are many reasons I think that learning this skill is a good thing.

First and foremost, speaking up is a way to bolster one’s own self-esteem. When you speak up, and speak clearly, you are letting people know that they should listen to you. Mumbling quietly may be less offensive to others, but it also has the potential to send the signal that you don’t think very highly of yourself. It might make some people think that you aren’t assertive and won’t stick up for your own interests. That’s how you end up rubbing elbows with people like Ex, Bill’s “war buddy” boss who was later very publicly fired for abusing troops, or our former landlady.

Secondly, speaking up and sounding more assertive makes other people, like bosses and colleagues, think you’re more competent. And that can lead to more success in the workplace, as long as you’re not too outspoken or obnoxious (like I tend to be). It’s not that I don’t think Bill is competent. He totally is, and his coworkers know it. But a slightly more confident and clear tone to his voice certainly wouldn’t hurt. I think it would also make him feel better about himself. He has a lot to say, and most of what he says is well worth hearing.

Bill has been working with a Jungian therapist for the past couple of years. It’s been a life changing experience for him as he learns new things and discovers truths about himself. So this morning, I suggested that maybe some speech therapy or even simple exercises– mindfulness– about his speech habits, might be another avenue for him to explore. It might be another way to grow. He might learn to like the sound of his own voice more, and that will lead to an improved self-image.

I also know from personal experience that public speaking is a great skill to have and, if you’re a bit of an exhibitionist, like I am, it’s also a lot of fun. Bill is not an exhibitionist, and does have to speak in public for his job sometimes. I know it’s not something he naturally enjoys. But– augmenting the voice and realizing that you have something valuable to say can lead to audience appreciation, which is a wonderful thing. I know. I’ve experienced it, and it can be like a drug. 😉

On a more selfish note, if Bill learned to speak up, and speak clearly, it would make it less necessary for me to ask him to repeat himself when he uses his “indoor voice”. I don’t think I need a hearing aid yet, but I often have to ask him to speak up when we talk to each other. It wouldn’t require much… just a slightly more confident air, and the psychological realization that in general, people DO want to communicate. And the more confident a person sounds, the easier it is to communicate effectively.

Most of all, I want him to erase those old destructive “tapes” that go through his head, telling him that he’s a bother to others, that he isn’t worth listening to, and that he shouldn’t be strong and assertive. I don’t think that was the original intent of the adults who told him when he was a child that he should pipe down… but I do think he somehow internalized the message that his natural proclivity to make noise was upsetting or displeasing to others. As he grew up, he never quite deleted the message that he shouldn’t speak up sometimes. Squelching one’s inclination to speak up isn’t useful to an adult (unless they’re on a luxury cruise ship complaining about their “bum” adult children for everyone else to hear 😀 ).

As we learned on our recent trip, most Americans don’t have a problem with speaking up and speaking out. Far too many of us are way too loud in public spaces. Bill is not one of those people. I love listening to him, and I want him to like hearing himself more. Of course, it’s up to him to decide if this idea is worth pursuing. I will always love him, either way. I just think he might find it an interesting and useful avenue to explore.

I also think learning to speak up is a great way to ward off narcissistic creeps who try to take advantage of “nice guys”. It’s not a bad thing to want to be liked by others, but sometimes that desire can be detrimental. Narcissists love people who are quiet, don’t rock the boat, and are reluctant to speak up and be heard. So, if anything, being less shy about speaking, and more comfortable turning up the volume a little, might be good for warding off the many assholes in our midst.

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condescending twatbags, dogs, travel

My total mama bear moment at yesterday’s weekly market…

Hello y’all. This is a very quick post as Bill and I prepare to get out of Germany for a couple of weeks. Today is the day we’ve both been eagerly anticipating for a couple of months. It’s probably because of our big vacation that I managed to restrain myself yesterday after having an unfortunate run in with a local at the weekly market.

Because of our vacation, Bill and I don’t have much food in the house. We decided to go down to the market to get a sandwich yesterday. It was about 4:30PM, and I was hoping it wouldn’t be too crowded.

We brought Noyzi with us, because he loves going to the Dorfplatz. There’s no issue with this, as people bring their dogs to these events all the time. Anyway, as we were walking through the market, we passed a stand up table, where there were several people standing around smoking and drinking wine. I guess Noyzi was too close to one of the men. He turned around suddenly, slapped at Noyzi, and yelled at him.

I had a very visceral and hostile reaction to that. I didn’t say anything to the man, but if looks could kill, he would certainly be dead now. I was absolutely livid, and it was written all over my face. I think the women who were with him could see it, because they were looking over at me.

Bill didn’t see the incident at all, so he was puzzled when I explained to him what happened. Then I decided I’d better get out of there quickly before I said or did something very embarrassing and inappropriate. So that’s what I did. Let’s hear it for self-control!

The good news is, Noyzi wasn’t fazed by the incident at all, even though he was abused before he came to us and used to be terrified of men. Also, I managed to calm down after about an hour.

I hope that guy stays away from us in the future, though… Don’t want to cause an international incident. 😉

Anyway… all’s well that ends well. I suspect I’ll have forgotten all about this in a few hours.

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blog news, travel

Just one month to go before it’s time to travel…

The featured photo was taken in February 2018, when we visited the Czech Republic and stumbled across a really cool Soviet era airplane museum. I trust Lufthansa will have more comfortable planes when we fly next month.

I don’t have a lot to write about this morning. Bill and I had a very nice weekend together. It’s great to have him home again. We made a video for younger daughter, and Bill talked to his mom on Skype. I talked to mine a few days ago and wished her a Happy Mother’s Day then.

I meant to watch Eurovision, since we finally got local TV, but I forgot it was on and hung out with Bill in our dining room, where we drank wine. 😉 Sweden won the contest. Maybe I’ll look for it on YouTube, but I find that Eurovision is more fun to watch live. We used to be in the habit of watching every year, even when we didn’t live in Europe. There were a couple of years we happened to be vacationing in Europe in May, when Eurovision airs.

Since today is May 15th, that means that it will soon be time for us to hop on a plane and go to Norway for a week before we get on our cruise in Sweden. Our flight to Oslo is on June 16th. I’m really looking forward to this trip, for so many reasons. If it goes well, maybe we’ll get back into traveling like we did pre-pandemic. Maybe I might even be persuaded to go back to the United States.

I find that I still love to travel, but as I get older, I don’t have the stamina I used to have. It’s too bad, since we have more money now than we did when we were younger. I just find nowadays that I value my alone time more. I think we’ll enjoy the cruise, but I also think I enjoy land based vacations more. We’ll see how we like Regent, though. It’s definitely going to be different for us.

When I told my mom about our trip, she said it sounded great… for us. I know kind of what she means. Mom is going to be 85 years old this year, and I think traveling is exhausting for her now. It’s tiring for me, and I’m only 50. But I love to see new places, try new things, eat different foods, and meet new people (within reason).

Then, after our big trip, it may be time to get a new dog… 😉

Sorry today’s post is kind of brief. I’m still kind of tired this morning. I woke up at 3:00AM and couldn’t get back to sleep. I feel drowsy as I type this, and I think I’ll probably need a nap sooner, rather than later. So, I think I’ll sign off, practice guitar, walk Noyzi, and crash for an hour or so. Maybe I’ll write more later… but I probably won’t. I need some inspiration.

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dogs, Duggars, musings, religion

Was it really God, or just dumb luck?

Happy Sunday morning, y’all. I’m not sure what we’re going to do today. I was giving some thought to going on post and seeing the rug guy, who lives in Wiesbaden, but usually sells his rugs in Stuttgart. We bought a rug three weeks ago, thinking we would replace one of the ones in the living room that Arran repeatedly peed on. But the guy didn’t have the pattern of rug we needed, and the one we ended up buying was a size too small. The rug guy is in Wiesbaden this weekend, so this would be the time to go.

It’s raining again today, though, and I’m kind of not wanting to venture out. I know I should, because I really do need to get out more. I just don’t feel like getting dressed. I’d rather hibernate with my latest book. Some travel blogger I am these days… I think COVID-19 lockdowns might have ruined my sense of adventure.

Given that it’s Sunday, I thought it might be a good time to write about today’s topic. I often see people praising God for things, claiming that God has somehow blessed or gifted them. The Duggar family is famous for claiming that God had blessed them with many children, as if they were flowers. Wonder what kind of flower Josh Duggar is…

I’ve heard Michelle Duggar say things like “Saying there are too many children is like saying there are too many flowers.” And Jim Bob says things like “Every child is a gift from God. We will keep receiving as many gifts as God wants to send us.”

And while I’m not an atheist, I do sometimes wonder, whenever I read or hear these things. Is it really God sending you gifts, blessing you, saving you, or smiling on you? Or are you just lucky, hardworking, very fertile, or shameless in your willingness to ask for a discount or a freebie?

Don’t get me wrong. I like to think that God had something to do with some of the good things I have in my life. And maybe there have been times when I console myself when things go wrong, telling myself that it was God’s will. I try to tell myself that whatever bad thing happened is just setting me up for something better in the future. But is it, though? Or what if God is actually preparing you for something worse? We all have a “time” to go, right? We all encounter a time when, even if we are true believers, God won’t save or protect us.

Life is kind of absurd. People often do whatever works for them. I look at how and where I met my husband. I never, in a million years, would have guessed we would have found each other in the way we did. It’s hard not to think there wasn’t some kind of divine hand that brought us together, or at least fate. Not only did we meet in a completely unexpected way, but we are also very compatible. It’s crazy that we get along as well as we do. We’re like puzzle pieces.

If you know me offline, you might understand why I make that statement. I have kind of an idiosyncratic personality. Some people like me. A lot of people can’t stand me… or that’s how it seems, anyway. I tend to be outspoken, and some people seem to think I’m too full of myself. Other people think I’m a silly twit. Those people don’t actually know me very well, but most of them also never gave me a chance. Maybe it’s better that way. I find that I have some friends who are genuine, rather than a lot of fake people claiming to be genuine friends.

Recently, Bill and I had a conversation about how I’d like to travel more. Maybe I’d even take trips by myself, like I used to before we were married. Bill says he’d be okay with it, but I can tell he doesn’t like the idea. Truth be told, I’d rather travel with Bill. But he has to work, and takes work trips frequently. So I stay home and tend to the house and the dog(s). Bill’s therapist recently pointed out that his relationship with me was probably the most stable one of his life. It’s understandable that Bill doesn’t want to lose me. Of course, I don’t want to lose myself, either… and sometimes I wonder if I have, when I stay home and watch life pass. Maybe he’s afraid that God wouldn’t protect me as well as he does. 😉

This morning I saw someone post about the Boston Marathon Bombing. It happened almost exactly ten years ago– on April 15, 2013. We were living in North Carolina, preparing to move to Texas for our year there. The person who posted wrote that she had run the marathon and, in spite of having a bum foot and jet lag (she’d flown over from Germany), she kept running. She finished the marathon just five minutes before the bombing occurred. If she had been any slower, she might have been injured or killed.

She praised God for protecting her. I guess I can understand that thinking. After all, Bill was in the Pentagon on 9/11, and his office had just been moved the week prior. Had it not been relocated, he probably would have died that day, and I’d be an old spinster. Was it God that protected Bill that day? Or was he just very lucky? Was God protecting the marathon runner, or did she simply avoid being in the wrong place at the wrong time, like millions of other people who didn’t die that day?

And what of the people who did die or get hurt? Was God NOT protecting them? Were they being punished? Was it just their time to die? Or was it simply the work of evil people with no respect for other people’s lives?

I truly don’t know the answers. I think it’s comforting to give it up to God, but common sense tells me that’s fallacious thinking at work. I inherited my mother’s pragmatic side. When I was a child, I had a really great imagination, mainly because I spent a lot of time alone. Whenever I came up with something really silly or fantastic, my mom would laugh. I don’t know why she was like that, since she is herself a very creative and artistic person. She makes beautiful music and creates incredible works of art with her needles– knitting, needlepoint, cross-stitch, and other such things. She is also a lifelong Christian, although not a particularly devout one. She always went to church, but it was mainly because she was the church’s organist most of the time.

My dad was notably stronger in his Christian beliefs, I think… however, I think my mom is a better person than he was. Or, at least she was less abusive to me. He seemed to be more of a believer than she was, anyway… although I always suspected he used church for a social outlet and business purposes, as well as a place to show off his singing voice. He was very proud of it, and church was one place he could indulge his pride. As we know, some “Christians” don’t always really behave in a Christ-like way. Some might say that I’m not one to talk about that; but then, I don’t claim to be a super devout Christian myself.

I’m grateful when people I know manage to escape things like bombings, natural disasters, crime scenes, or other situations. I don’t know that I would necessarily credit God, though… because why would God choose certain individuals to save, while others are forsaken? And why would a loving, protective God allow such horrors to take place in the first place? Where was God when Dzhokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev were making and planting their pressure cooker bombs? Where is God when anyone decides to do evil things? Why is it that God is there when someone is “saved”, but not when someone falls down the dark rabbit hole that causes them to do such awful things?

I’m sure there are devout Christians out there who can confidently answer my questions. However, I’m not sure I would be satisfied what they’d tell me. I’ve probably already considered their answers. Usually, what they say is something along the lines of “It was God’s will” or “God needed another angel” or something like that. I don’t blame them. Those thoughts are comforting. I do it myself when I lose a dog and think of them going to the Rainbow Bridge, joyfully meeting all of my other long lost animal friends.

When we lost Arran last month, I was grateful to God that he had a relatively peaceful end… and was pretty active up until the last twelve hours of his life. But maybe he was just very lucky… as were Bill and I to have him in our lives in the first place… as is Noyzi to no longer live on the streets of Pristina, but instead getting to live a cushy life in Germany with Americans. The odds were surely against Noyzi having that life, right?

Hmmm… maybe God had something to do with it, after all. Who knows?

Well, I think I’ll stop dwelling on today’s deep thoughts and move on with the day. That may simply mean retiring to my bedroom and reading more of my latest book, hoping not to fall asleep. 😉

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