Tag Archives: refugees

musings

He’s got a point…

I have to be honest. I hate these kinds of memes…

Y’all know I love animals, right? I especially love dogs, horses, and cats. My very first jobs were working in a barn and at a veterinary hospital. I’ve spent a lot of time loving animals and they’ve mostly loved me back, with the possible exception of our old cat, Cricket, who had the misfortune of living with my family of origin when I was a toddler. That being said, I don’t like it when people lose their common sense when it comes to animals. I don’t like it when anyone loses their ability to see other perspectives.

Two well-meaning friends have posted this meme recently. I know they are both caring, compassionate, loving people. On the surface, I totally agree with this message, but I would never share it. For one thing, I find it manipulative. I am not a fan of guilt trips, and this smacks of a guilt trip to me. Most people on Facebook wouldn’t support this kind of thing, anyway, so you’re preaching to the choir. Anyone heartless enough to simply dump a pet without any remorse is probably not going to care about your meme. The rest of us are probably just going to feel shitty.

Please don’t get me wrong. I absolutely think it’s a terrible thing to abandon animals. I do not, at all, condone dumping pets on the side of the road. However, I also realize that pets are not people and sometimes people find themselves having to make terrible choices. When I clicked on the original post to read the comments, I found a thread full of interesting perspectives. One man named John was brave enough to post this:

It’s not cruel.

People who do this do so because they don’t see any other choice. It’s done when families go broke, and can’t feed the kids, much less the family pet.

Instead of condemning the poor for doing this in a desperate situation, help them. Help them find jobs, groceries, etc.

He was immediately pounced upon by the outrage brigade. Lots of people tried to “educate” him, although he struck me as being quite intelligent. More people tried shaming and insulting him for daring to be contrary. A couple of folks appealed to the guy’s sense of decency, reasoning that pets can’t fend for themselves and should be taken to a shelter. John came back with this comment:

Those services aren’t always available. Plus, when tragedy strikes, people can’t always think of everything.

And, yes, they can fend for themselves very well.

Later, it came out that the guy, John, who is originally from Chicago, actually lives in Europe. He claims that living in Europe has changed his viewpoint. Naturally, I was interested when he mentioned Europe, since I am an American who also lives in Europe. A couple of posters chastised him for “pretending” to be European. I wanted to know what part of Europe, so I stalked his Facebook page. Turns out he’s in Bulgaria.

I have been to Bulgaria. I went in 1996, when it was still recovering from years of being behind the so-called Iron Curtain. I’m sure Bulgaria is a lot better now than it was in 1996, although in 1996, it was a hell of a lot nicer than Armenia was, which was where I was living at that time. Bill visited Bulgaria about ten years ago. It had come up in the world a bit. I don’t know what it’s like in 2019, but it’s probably not as cushy as Germany is. Here, I never see stray animals. In fact, spaying and neutering is not nearly as common in developed European countries as it is in the States. Why? Because while there are definitely shelters here, they aren’t overflowing. Most people take care of their pets.

Having been to Bulgaria, my guess is that the attitude toward pets is not the same. I distinctly remember in Armenia, there were packs of street dogs that would roam around looking for trash. Some of them were alright, but some were downright mean. As much as I love dogs, I often had to carry rocks with me in case they got too close. The street dogs were not necessarily friendly, with few exceptions. Bulgaria probably has a similar problem. It’s possible that John has seen street dogs or strays roaming around Bulgaria. But he’s also seen very poor people trying to take care of themselves.

I also remember meeting Armenian refugees who had been living in Azerbaijan before the Soviet Union fell. These folks had once had their own apartments, but once the Soviet Union broke up, they had to flee Azerbaijan. Whole families ended up living in dorm sized rooms. That’s five or six people living in a space designed for two. Would Fluffy or Fido necessarily fit in with that reality? Probably not.

I was intrigued by that post because, while I could definitely see the perspectives of outraged, kind-hearted, well-meaning Americans, I could also see John’s perspective. He’s left the United States and moved somewhere where life may not be as easy. He’s seen another perspective and it’s changed his opinions. This happens to me every time I live abroad. So far, I’ve lived abroad in five different places and three different countries. Each experience opens my eyes a little bit more. I imagine it’s been the same for John, who came across as quite intelligent and calm, despite the mob of angry rebuttals from the clueless that came his way. I particularly liked it when he calmly pointed out to several posters that they were making assumptions and putting words in his post that he never wrote. For instance, one person wrote this:

I care about people and animals. I am just sorry you feel that you’re only option is too leave your dog on the side of the road.

And John responded with, “I never said that. There’s no need to be self-conscious.” Later, he added “Gratefully, I never had to. But I’m lucky. Many people have had to do so.“

When another poster offered to find a home for John’s dog, he wrote “In fact, our dog is a stray that sat at our gate for a month before we let her in. The best guard dog I’ve ever seen in my life. Like I said, we’re more fortunate than many here… I’m not going to condemn others for doing what they need to do in order to survive.“

I think sometimes people get so wrapped up in outrage that they don’t allow themselves to see other perspectives. John never said he condones dumping animals. John never said he planned to dump his dog, nor did he applaud people who do. He simply suggested that sometimes people find themselves in situations where that seems like the best thing to do, whether or not it actually is. If he lives in Bulgaria, I can see why he’d come to that conclusion. I can also see why our fellow American brothers and sisters are outraged. It’s mainly because they’re ignorant and/or unwilling or unable to broaden their perspective.

What really made my eyebrows raise, though, was when someone claimed John was an atheist and quoted the Bible as a means of proving that this man she doesn’t know doesn’t believe in God. First off, even if he is an atheist, that really has nothing to do with animal dumping. Secondly, there are plenty of so-called Christians who have black hearts. Just this morning, I read a news article about Jerry Falwell Jr. that pretty much proves that point. He’s supposedly a “Christian”, but he’s got his head shoved way up Donald Trump’s ass, to the point at which he’s said he thinks Trump should be given two extra years to continue to fuck things up. I may not be the smartest or wisest person in the world, but I can smell bullshit for miles. And a lot of “religious” people are full to the gills with bullshit.

Anyway… while I don’t think there’s any excuse for ditching animals if there is any possible alternative, I also think John is right that sometimes people have to make very hard choices. I think of the folks who have been affected by the most recent natural disasters– wildfires, hurricanes, and the like– and realize that even some Americans are caught in that dilemma. If a wildfire is about to consume your house and you have a bunch of pets, including horses or other livestock, what the hell do you do? It would be wonderful if you had time to load them in a trailer and get them to safety. But what if you can’t do that? I’m sure people in Bulgaria or Armenia or any of the countries that aren’t the United States or Germany have to make those difficult decisions. So I, for one, applaud John for being brave enough to speak his mind and not go along with group think. It’s getting harder and harder to do that these days, in this age of Internet warfare. And more people need to pull their heads out of their asses and think outside of the box. Not every place on the planet is like America. Not everyone wants to live in America. American solutions aren’t always solutions that fit every situation. Think about it.

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Trump

Who is this Menstrual Moderator, anyway?

I got curious about Scott Lloyd, Trump’s former head of the Office of Refugee Reassignment (ORR), so I went Googling after I wrote yesterday’s second blog post about how Lloyd has been barring pregnant migrant teens who were raped from accessing abortions. I discovered that Mr. Lloyd, like me, went to college in Virginia. He graduated from James Madison University, which had been my first choice school. Alas, they rejected me. Their loss.

Lloyd then went on to attend law school at the Catholic University of America in Washington, DC. In law school, back in the fall of 2004, Mr. Lloyd shared a six page essay he wrote with about 80 of his fellow students. It was for a course called Catholic Social Teaching, which explored religious, ethical, and legal thinking on issues including abortion, health care, and poverty. In the essay, Mr. Lloyd wrote about how, as a young man, he had gotten a woman pregnant and she had opted to have an abortion against his wishes. Although Mr. Lloyd had accompanied his former partner to an abortion clinic and helped pay for the procedure (mostly in one dollar bills), he was clearly very upset by the memory. He wrote:

“The truth about abortion, is that my first child is dead, and no woman, man, Supreme Court, or government—NOBODY—has the right to tell me that she doesn’t belong here.” 

So… because Scott Lloyd had premarital sex with someone he had no plans to marry, and evidently did not choose to use a condom, he thinks he has the right to dictate to every other woman what she should be doing with her uterus. His personal experience with “knocking someone up”, and then his anguish over her decision to choose abortion, has put him on the path to taking away other women’s rights to choose. But not before he became so distraught over his former partner’s choice to have an abortion that he developed a drinking problem that led him to passing out on park benches and elevators and once even got arrested for disorderly intoxication.

I don’t want to diminish Mr. Lloyd’s pain. I do have some empathy for men who want to raise their offspring. Unfortunately, when it comes to pregnancy, there simply isn’t an equal playing field. Until the fetus is fully gestated, it remains a part of the mother’s body. Pregnancy remains a risky situation for some women. It can lead to health problems or even death. Add in the personal costs to having children– the medical bills, potential of lost income, career delays, and everything else that comes with childbearing, which very often falls to the mother, and I can’t agree that the father should have a say in whether or not the mother chooses abortion. I will never agree that it’s a man’s right to force a woman to stay pregnant. The idea of that is completely repugnant to me, almost as much as the idea of abortion is.

That’s right. I am personally– for myself, that is– against abortion. I doubt I would have ever chosen it, and since I’m 46 years old and about to be menopausal, I doubt it will ever be an issue I’ll face. But I can’t say that I absolutely wouldn’t choose it. I don’t think most women plan to have abortions or wish for them. Maybe a few women become jaded when it comes to that procedure, but for most, I’m sure it’s a very difficult decision and traumatic experience. It’s also a very personal choice, especially since the woman who makes it will have to live with her decision for the rest of her life. And while men certainly play a crucial part in creating life, it’s the women’s bodies that make life possible and women are the ones who assume every physical risk during pregnancy.

Mr. Lloyd now lives in beautiful Front Royal, Virginia. I have been to Front Royal. It’s the kind of place where I’d enjoy settling down someday. It’s at the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and not far from Washington, DC. In 1993 and 94, I worked at a summer camp not far from Front Royal, which at least in those days, maintained some rural charm. Front Royal has a burgeoning Catholic community, of which Lloyd is very much involved. It’s the location of Christendom College, a Catholic liberal arts college which was recently in the news for mishandling a sexual assault case.

Lloyd attends St. John the Baptist Roman Catholic Church with his wife and seven children, where the average family includes at least six kids and there hasn’t been a teen pregnancy in fifteen years. Although it’s been a long time since I was last in Front Royal, it sounds kind of like it’s turned into a town much like my mom’s hometown of Buena Vista, Virginia, which has become a LDS mecca since some Mormon investors purchased her alma mater, Southern Seminary Junior College and turned it into Southern Virginia University.

I have never really had a problem with Catholics. I seem to attract them. Hell, before Bill was LDS, he was Catholic and has said if he were to go back to church, he’d probably choose to be Catholic again. However, just as there are extreme Protestants, there are extreme Catholics. The problem with extreme religions of any stripe is that they hijack a person’s common sense and make them believe that they have the right to make laws based on their world views. You see, I don’t think someone like Scott Lloyd has any business whatsoever serving in the federal government. The government in the United States is supposed to be separate from religion and an individual’s religious beliefs. As we can see by Lloyd’s actions as former head of the ORR, those extreme religious beliefs can cause a person to think they are doing the right thing when they rely on those beliefs to act outside of the law.

Scott Lloyd had absolutely NO RIGHT to be tracking the menstrual periods and pregnancies of minor aged migrant girls who are living in shelters run by the ORR. In the United States, women still have the right to access abortions. Mr. Lloyd abused his position as “guardian” of minor aged migrant girls by refusing to allow them to access abortions. Just because they aren’t United States citizens, that does not give him the right to deny them basic civil rights or hold them hostage. Reading about his actions yesterday made me feel nauseous. It’s as if he sees these girls, who were babies themselves not that long ago, as mere “vessels”. They’re just there to incubate the unborn… and then, once those babies are born, they might regain some of their own individual rights. It’s a wonder anyone gets pregnant in the United States these days.

I think now that he’s been exposed, Scott Lloyd should be fired from government service. If he wants to work as an anti-abortion activist, he should either do it on his personal time or get a job in the private sector. Unfortunately, until Trump is evicted from the White House, Lloyd will probably continue his campaign of harassing these young girls who simply need help and understanding as they launch into their lives. Lloyd justifies his actions because some woman he impregnated dared to defy his wishes and claim ownership of her body. For that reason, Lloyd is on a personal crusade, not just to rid the United States of abortion, but also birth control. It’s absolutely insane. In fact, I’d say he needs a therapist. But, according to Mother Jones, Mr. Lloyd has been given a new role, since he so badly fucked up as former head of the ORR (all of those migrant children he cares so deeply about who are now separated from their parents), he’s going to be involved in outreach to religious communities with The Department of Health and Human Services’ Center for Faith and Opportunity Initiatives.

Well… maybe that job will be a better fit for ol’ Scott. He had no experience working with refugees before he was in his last job, just lots of experience trying to strip women of their reproductive choices. It sounds like Faith and Opportunity Initiatives might be more along the lines of suitability for Lloyd… although really, he should be working in the private sector. Government employees should not be allowed to pursue their personal agendas using taxpayer dollars.

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