bad TV, true crime

Watered down Lifetime movies that put girls in confinement…

As I have repeatedly and pitifully mentioned this week, Bill has been away on a business trip. And, as I often do when he goes away on business trips, I’ve been watching a lot of made for TV movies, as well as a couple of 80s era classics. Lifetime made for TV movies are usually pretty cringeworthy, although sometimes they turn into “guilty pleasures.” I typically watch the movies they make about true crime cases, especially if I’ve already read about a case. I am a bit of a true crime buff, as some regular readers might already know. I probably ought to stick to writing about books and movies, though, because when I write about true crime cases in the news, I sometimes get angry reactions from family members. It’s never my intention to cause pain to anyone when I write about true crime. I just find the criminal mind and police work kind of fascinating.

Anyway, more than once, I’ve written about Lifetime movies and how sometimes, they’re pretty terrible. Sometimes, I think their treatment of true crime stories is downright disrespectful, such as it was with Secrets of a Gold Digger Killer, which was about Celeste Beard Johnson, who married a wealthy older man and murder him for his money. I also thought Lifetime’s movie, Girl in the Basement, which starred Judd Nelson, and was based on the horrific 2008 Josef Fritzl case out of Austria, was also pretty badly done. This week, I’ve watched three other Lifetime movies that weren’t too terrible. They weren’t great– but they didn’t make me angry, and I never cringed while watching them. However, I did notice that the three made for TV movies had something in common with the aforementioned Girl in the Basement

Girl in the Box

Girl in the Bunker

Girl in the Shed

Do you see the same trend I do? Granted, all of these movies are based on true stories about yucky men who abduct young women or girls and put them in different forms of confinement. But, when I went on Lifetime’s “channel” on Apple TV, I noticed this list of movies with similar titles.

To clarify, I don’t typically go on Lifetime’s Apple TV channel looking for entertainment anymore. When I was younger, Lifetime used to be more my speed. They showed television that was supposed to be “for women”, which includes awesome classic sitcoms like The Golden Girls, health related programming, or movies that were made by the big three networks of yore. I’ve noticed that more recently, Lifetime has gotten into the business of making movies. Most of them are very slick and kind of campy, filmed in Canada, and often boast talent that was on the “big screen” a few decades ago. Again, I usually watch the ones about true crime, so I honestly don’t know what other subjects Lifetime covers. I’m sure someone can tell me.

In any case, this week I watched Girl in the Box, Girl in the Bunker, and Girl in the Shed. I’ve already shared my thoughts on Girl in the Box, which was what started this week’s Lifetime movie trend for me. It was Sunday afternoon; Bill had just left for Bavaria. For some reason, I thought of the 70s and 80s era true crime case involving Colleen Stan— “the girl in the box”. I went looking to see if there was some fresh programming about that case, and discovered Lifetime’s 2016 movie that was based on the case. Because I had nothing better to do, I decided to download it and watch it. Then I noticed the other two movies with similar titles, and downloaded those, too.

A couple of days ago, I watched the 2022 movie, Girl in the Shed: The Kidnapping of Abby Hernandez. Prior to watching Lifetime’s movie, I had not heard of this case out of Conway, New Hampshire, which began on October 9, 2013. Fourteen year old Abby Hernandez was just days away from her fifteenth birthday when she was kidnapped by a creepy psychopath named Nathaniel Kibby. Just like Colleen Stan before her, Hernandez was hitchhiking, something she apparently did frequently. Kibby picked her up. He was seemingly friendly and trustworthy until he stopped the car, handcuffed her, and blindfolded her. He took her to his home and, for about nine and a half months, kept her imprisoned in a storage container/shed.

Girl in the Shed by Lifetime.

In Lifetime’s treatment of this case, Kibby is played by Ben Savage– brother of Fred Savage, who is very familiar to me as a child of the 80s, thanks to his starring role on The Wonder Years. Ben was on the show Boy Meets World, which I never saw, because it was popular at a time in my life when I was too busy for TV. Abby is played by Lindsay Navarro, who looks quite a bit older than fourteen. I’m sure that’s by design, of course. Not only do younger actors have more restrictions on how much they can work, but I’m sure the subject matter of the film may have prevented using younger, more believable actors.

In the Lifetime movie, we see still baby faced Ben Savage as Kibby, vacillating between a conspiracy theory obsessed weirdo to someone with a conscience. He sees giving Abby a “storage shed” to live in as a kindness. He straps a shock collar around her neck to stop her from screaming, but also to prevent her from having to wear a gag. He uses the threat of a taser to keep her under control. He wears a totally creepy looking face mask to prevent Abby from seeing his face, assuring her that someday he’ll let her go. Abby somehow realizes that to survive, she must befriend her captor, which is what she does.

Meanwhile, her mother, Zenya (Erica Durance) is depicted as the only one who never gives up on finding Abby. I’ve noticed that in Lifetime movies, the police are usually depicted as jaded, skeptical, and uncaring. When Zenya calls to report her daughter missing, the cops assume she’s run away. When Abby is forced to write a letter home, and news of it gets leaked to the press, the public turns on Zenya. She gets hateful phone calls and nasty letters in the mail (I don’t understand this practice at all, but people really do this…).

When Kibby loses his job, he gets into counterfeiting money. This is ultimately what leads him to release Abby, as he’s been to prison before, and doesn’t want to go back there. A woman calls him on the phone and threatens to turn him in for paying her with counterfeit cash. It seems kind of crazy to me, but I guess it really happened. Kibby drops Abby off near where he had picked her up months earlier, and she’s left to walk home. There’s no information about Kibby’s prosecution, which took place in 2016 and ultimately led to a federal sentence of 45-90 years in prison.

If I were to go only on the Lifetime movie, Abby and Kibby were practically buddies. There’s no mention or depiction of the horrors of what actually went on in this case. Granted, again, it might be because the case involves a then fourteen/fifteen year old child. But the Lifetime movie waters down the story so much that it seems like Kibby was just lonely and looking for a female friend. The reality is, Kibby sexualy assaulted Abby on a daily basis. And no, that’s not something I necessarily would have wanted to see, but not including that part of the story really dilutes it and undermines just how truly awful Abby’s ordeal really was. Also, the shock collar thing… that was a new one for me, but the way Savage plays it, it’s like Kibby was trying to be “nice”. There’s nothing nice about taking away someone’s voice. But at least he didn’t threaten to cut her vocal cords, like Cameron Hooker did to Colleen Stan.

Reviewers on IMDB had similar impressions that I had. One reviewer even went to school with Abby and was disgusted by how this story was portrayed. I kind of wonder why Lifetime bothered with this… since the actual ordeal isn’t accurately presented at all. I get not wanting to depict CSAM, but this is so whitewashed that it’s kind of laughable. It definitely could have been better. At least it wasn’t horribly offensive, though. Ben Savage isn’t a scary or convincing predator, so I didn’t have any nightmares. His brother Fred, on the other hand, has portrayed creeps convincingly… both on screen, and apparently in real life.

I thought Girl in the Bunker was somewhat better, although it was still pretty watered down from the truth. This 2018 Lifetime made for TV movie is based on the real life case of fourteen year old Elizabeth Shoaf of Lugoff, South Carolina, who was abducted by the late Vinson Filyaw on September 6, 2006. Filyaw, who died in prison of natural causes last year, had been a construction worker, but posed as a police officer to gain Shoaf’s trust. He placed her in handcuffs and walked her around the woods, disorienting her until he finally put her in a 8×8 foot underground bunker, where he had all the “creature comforts” of home.

Girl in the Bunker by Lifetime.

According to the Shoaf was on her way home from school when her boyfriend gave her some marijuana to keep. The boyfriend was apparently a fan of weed and didn’t want to get busted by his parents. Shoaf had the weed on her when she ran into Filyaw.

Meanwhile, Elizabeth’s family was wondering what happened to her. I hadn’t realized it at first, but Elizabeth’s mom was played by Moira Kelly. I just happened to watch Kelly’s film, The Cutting Edge (1992) the other day. I almost didn’t recognize her in Girl in the Bunker. I had been wondering what happened to her. An even bigger surprise was who they got to play Vinson Filyaw. I’m sure most of you reading this have heard of a 1982 film called E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial. I didn’t actually see that film for the first time until 2002. However, I was ten years old when it was released, and it was HUGE. Well, the guy who played Filyaw was none other than Henry Thomas, who famously played Elliott in the movie, E.T. He was more convincing as a villain.

I also thought, Julia LaLonde, the girl who played Elizabeth, was a very good actress and looked like she was about the right age. I could believe she was fourteen years old… or at least somewhat near that age.

Again, there’s no mention of the horrors of what actually happened to the real Elizabeth Shoaf, who was stripped naked, bound in chains, and repeatedly assaulted. And again, I wouldn’t expect a graphic depiction of that on television. But, if I was going to go on what was in the Lifetime movie, I’d come away with the idea that ol’ Vinson was just looking for a friend to ease his loneliness. It looks like most of the reviewers on IMDB liked it, as most of the comments about it are pretty positive.

I have noticed that censorship has changed a lot over the years. It used to be that the censors were a lot more concerned about “bad words”. You’d never hear someone on primetime TV say the word “shit”, for instance, even if you did hear them drop the n-bomb or homosexual slurs. It seems like violence, even if it was sexual in nature, was less taboo. Now, the language is less restricted, at least as far as words like “shit” are concerned, but they don’t want to depict true crime in a way that remotely approaches the horrors of what actually happened, particularly if the story involves minors. It seems to me that if being accurate is so problematic for legal reasons, maybe the genre shouldn’t be tackled by filmmakers. But at least in these two cases, the victims survived.

I’m reminded of an old plotline on The Brady Bunch. Bobby Brady is driving his family nuts because he’s obsessed with Jesse James, who was a cold-blooded killer. Bobby sees him as a hero. Carol and Mike Brady try to teach Bobby a lesson by letting him watch an old movie about Jesse James, but all of the parts that show him as a bad guy are edited out of the movie. Their point is lost, and Bobby is even more convinced that Jesse James is a great guy. To be fair, I don’t think Lifetime goes quite that far. I mean, even though Ben Savage is unconvincing as a menacing creep, we don’t get the idea that his character is a hero. And Henry Thomas is somewhat convincing as a criminal, even though he’s not shown actually doing what his character did in real life. But the point is, if Lifetime is going to make movies about horrifying crimes, they probably ought to do more to actually depict the crimes as horrifying… and make the villains less likable.

Anyway… I’ve probably written more about this subject than it deserves. The dogs didn’t get a walk yesterday due to bad weather and my interminable wait for packages to arrive. So, I probably better sign off and walk them, do my Thursday chores, and get on with my last day of loneliness. Maybe today, I’ll watch an old, campy, guilty pleasure favorite, like Xanadu or Flash Gordon. There are only so many Lifetime movies a person can take in a week. 😉

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book reviews

Just finished Elton John’s sensational tell all book, Me…

Last May, Bill and I went to see Elton John in concert. It was our first and probably last chance to see him, since he’s currently on his Goodbye Yellow Brick Road farewell tour. Of course, as my rock star friend Meryl pointed out when I bought the tickets, Elton has announced his retirement from live performances before. In fact, he recently added a few more shows to the tour that will bring him back to Germany. We saw him play in Stuttgart, even though he did a show in Wiesbaden in June, because when I purchased the tickets in February 2018, we were still living in the Stuttgart area and had no plans to move. But, as we all know, life can throw curveballs, and it turned out we did have to move. Fortunately, Wiesbaden is just a few hours’ drive from Stuttgart, and going there for the show meant we could see our dentist and hit the spring fest, which happened to be going on at the same time.

2018 and 2019 have been my years for concerts. I was never much of a concertgoer before recently, mainly because I didn’t have the money to go to concerts, nor have I ever been one with a pack of friends or boyfriends with whom I could attend shows. Bill and I spent the first years of our marriage rather financially strapped, so the few shows we did see before moving back to Europe, were mostly in nosebleed seats. Don’t get me wrong– it can be perfectly feasible to enjoy a show way up in the rafters. We discovered Robert Randolph and the Family Band in 2004, when they opened for Eric Clapton in Washington, DC. We had a great time, even though Clapton looked like an ant on the stage. But I’m a short person, and I don’t like crowds or being around inconsiderate people, all of which would preclude my attending many big shows.

As for Elton John– well… he put on a pretty good show. It wasn’t the best concert I have ever been to, mainly because he used a lot of videos which I found distracting. Instead of watching him play the piano so masterfully, I was watching videos as if it were 1985. Still, I did enjoy the concert, and ended up downloading a bunch of his albums that I didn’t already own. I didn’t get Leather Jackets, which was an album he made in the 1980s while extremely strung out on cocaine and alcohol. Elton John repeatedly brings that up in his new autobiography, Me, which I just finished reading this morning. I’ve also downloaded the movie about his life, Rocket Man, which came out just after we saw him in concert. I haven’t watched it yet, because our TV room lacks proper seating and I’d rather watch that film on our big, new TV than the one in our bedroom.

All of this is sort of my meandering way of saying that Elton John has been on my mind a lot this year. I was born in 1972, when Elton was becoming a huge star. His music has always been a big part of my life. He was one of the few artists my late father could agree upon when we were riding in the car together. I have always been in awe of Elton John’s musical gifts, even if there are other singer-songwriters who enchant me more. But honestly, having seen Elton play live and read his book, I think I just find him a very entertaining person to whom I can relate. I admire him, not just because he’s a brilliant performer, but because he seems very human to me. He seems even more human to me, especially since I read his sensational, yet often poignant life story.

Elton John, originally named Reginald Dwight, was born to two parents who didn’t love each other. They were of modest means, and lived in a small town. Elton, who in those days was called Reg, did not have a strong kinship with his father, who was often away for work purposes. When Elton’s father was around, they didn’t seem to mesh. Elton describes his dad as emotionally absent and more of a “man’s man”, while Elton was sensitive, awkward, and lonely. His parents split when he was still very young and married other people. Elton got along better with his stepfather, Fred, whom he called “Derf”. He was less involved with his father, who’d had children with his next wife.

Early on, it became clear that Elton John was gifted musically. As a boy, he attended the Royal Academy of Music, where he was forced to play classical pieces. Although Elton didn’t enjoy the classical scene so much, he did write that he’s grateful for the experience of attending such a prestigious school and that the training he received played a big part in his songwriting. It was obvious that Elton was destined for a career in music and, based on his book, he’s never done anything else, even though there were times when he thought he’d never get his break. One time, his mother even suggested that he take a job at a launderette.

Elton John’s story of how he and Bernie Taupin came together is another sign that he was destined to be a musician. He’d just played and failed an audition at a record label when a receptionist decided to pass him some lyrics that had been sent by a man who had also failed the audition. That man turned out to be seventeen year old Taupin, who has written so many of Elton John’s most beloved songs. I enjoyed how Elton explained their unique partnership. Bernie would write poignant lyrics and Elton would compose music. They never worked together in the same room. I have written some lyrics myself, mainly for fun. I think if I were a songwriter, I’d probably want to work the same way. I do better when I’m working alone.

Beyond the obvious components of a life story, Elton John adds some hilarious and sometimes horrifying anecdotes about life as a world renowned entertainer. For instance, he wrote a story about how he’d auditioned a guitar player whom he’d declined to hire, not just because he didn’t mesh with him musically, but because the guitar player had confessed to enjoying fucking chickens up the ass and then decapitating them for a sexual charge. Elton adds wryly that he didn’t know if the guitar player had a very strange sense of humor or if the guy’s sex life was extremely disturbing. Either way, he couldn’t picture himself or his bandmates feeling comfortable sharing a hotel room with a guy who got his jollies in that way.

I had already read some excerpts of Elton John’s book through the Daily Mail, which has been sharing bits and pieces of the book for weeks now. A lot of the snippets from the Daily Mail were pretty salacious, but I was still surprised by a few of the stories Elton includes. What really struck me about Me, though, is how entertaining and personal the writing is. It was as if I were sitting in a room, listening to Elton tell his stories in the most hilarious way. I like the fact that he owns up to his shortcomings and is brutally candid about some things. I can be pretty candid myself, and I’m a pretty straight shooter. So is Elton. We have both found that being too straightforward can be detrimental in many ways, particularly if you’re dealing with people who are shady. But, I think in the long run, it’s best to be authentic. I feel like Elton’s book is very authentic and candid. I liked that he owned up to being an asshole at times– er, arsehole– Britishisms are another prominent feature in his book. Elton is a drug addict. Cocaine was his drug of choice. He is an alcoholic. He also suffers from an addiction to food and was bulimic for awhile. He sought treatment for all three conditions about thirty years ago. I appreciated his honesty about his experiences with addiction, especially how alcohol and drugs turned him into an asshole. I also respect that he’s tried so hard to help others overcome their addictions, including many people who didn’t want to be helped.

I was curious about what people had to say about Elton’s book. I usually start with the negative reviews on Amazon, some of which were pretty laughable. One person complained that the book had a ripped cover. Another complained about Elton’s comments about Michael Jackson, which I will admit, might have seemed kind of tacky (although frankly, I think he was being straight up about his experiences). Some people wrote that Elton included too much about songwriting and not enough about his personal life. Other people complained about the opposite; Elton was too open about his sex life and drug use, and not forthcoming enough about his musical skills. From what I gathered, Elton doesn’t have to think much about creating. It all just comes out. He even wrote that he doesn’t even think about songwriting when he’s not actually doing it. If that’s really his experience, I respect it, although it’s kind of mind boggling.

I found Elton’s comments about trying to work with Tina Turner kind of surprising. Apparently, she was a huge diva and behaved like a bitch to Elton and his band, even though she used to sing his song, “The Bitch Is Back” all the time back in the day. It turned out that their work styles were simply incompatible. Elton likes to improvise and not necessarily do everything perfectly rehearsed, while Tina likes to have the band playing exactly the same way every time. I respected that after Elton basically called Tina a bitch, he acknowledged that she might be that way due to the way she’d been treated by Ike Turner and others in the music industry who ripped her off and abused her. I can give him credit for realizing that about Tina Turner, even as he also kind of throws her under the bus.

One person wrote that Elton John had a book written about him by a ghostwriter that was mostly the same stuff. If I had read that book, I might have agreed with the reviewer that Me is superfluous. But since I hadn’t read the other book, this one was interesting, and often laugh out loud funny. I especially laughed when Elton wrote about writing music for a play in which there was a song called “Only Poofs Do Ballet”. I had never heard of the British slang term for a homosexual “Poof” until I married Bill, who uses it a lot. And there were a few stories that mad me feel a little sad… or even a bit in solidarity with Elton. I can relate to feeling ugly, misunderstood, and anxious. I can relate to having a short temper and difficult family relationships. I can even relate to some of his stories about addiction, depression, and eating disorders, as these are things have touched my life, too. I don’t know if Elton and I would get along if we were to meet, since he seems to be eccentric and temperamental, and I’m kind of like that, too. But deep down, he seems like a kind, introspective man who isn’t afraid to be a bit tacky and over the top. I’m glad he’s finally found love, gotten his life on track, and has the family he’s always dreamt of having. He’s a very lucky man, and he seems to know it. I respect him for that.

Anyway, I liked Me, and would recommend it. Some people might be offended by some of the stories, and some have accused Elton of name dropping and bragging, although I can’t imagine how someone as famous as Elton John is could be guilty of “name dropping”, when he literally keeps company with the likes of Rod Stewart, Bob Dylan, Freddie Mercury, and members of The Rolling Stones. Those folks are his peers, although I was kind of charmed when Elton described what an honor it was to sing with Ray Charles. I also enjoyed his comments about Ryan White and his family, and how much they did to help people with AIDS at a time when people were so frightened and ignorant.

So… if you are inclined to read about Elton John’s life and haven’t read the previous book, I think you should check out Me. But be prepared for some sensational stories that might blow your mind.

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