Spies who love me…

A little mood music for this post…

Well… it seems that yesterday’s post about my disdain for the phrase, “please refrain”, was quite a doozy… It got lots of attention from some strange places. I’m also pretty sure that I’m responsible for teaching at least one German reader the word “minge”. Bravo to you for clicking the link and learning some slang!

It’s always interesting to see how people react to my posts, where my visitors come from, and what they click on. I have never made it a secret that I closely monitor who reads my stuff. I do this for a lot of reasons. The main one is that it helps me determine what is interesting to readers, which helps me come up with ideas for content worth writing. Based on yesterday’s post, I’ve discovered a few things.

Apparently, certain readers are especially interested when I “spill the tea” on me… They like it when I reveal things about myself. Some probably enjoy the irreverent nature of some of my writing. Some might genuinely wonder what makes me tick, and a handful may truly care about my opinions. A few folks like it when I write about women’s issues, true crime, and my disdain for Donald Trump. In fact, when people have asked me to write posts about specific topics, more often than not, it’s about true crime or women’s issues (in fact, I got one such request today). Most of the people who come back to read are here because they genuinely like the blog and want to read.

A couple of people are obviously just looking for dirt. I don’t assume that everyone who reads my stuff every day likes me. That was made quite clear to me about a year ago, although I knew it was going on well before then. I was just surprised by how boldly the offender came forward, how sure they were that they had the right to meddle in my business, and how certain that person was that their position was 100% correct (and it’s not). I was also amazed by their gall and hypocrisy, especially since I know they value their privacy, but they apparently have no respect for mine.

I think my book reviews are pretty cool, though I notice that I get less interest in those posts. Ditto to the rerun posts from my original blog. I won’t be adding all of them… just the ones that are “evergreen”. Quite a lot of my old content is no longer relevant– especially the stuff that was written before people started reading. I actually miss those days, when the vast majority of people who read my stuff were total strangers. That’s right… for the first few years of my blog’s existence, I didn’t promote it at all. It was simply a place to vent my thoughts. Now, to some people, I’ve turned into E.F. Hutton.

I’m flattered that people are interested in anything I write… although I know not everyone is reading innocently.

I’m glad to have real friends who read and appreciate my content, but I could do without the “looky lous”. I get that this is a public blog, so having “spies” and “stalkers” kind of comes with the territory. I have toyed with the idea of making my blogs private, but I see no reason why I should have to do that simply because of a few creepy people. There’s no need to punish myself and the people who don’t come here to fuck with me. It’s too bad that some people have no sense of decency or fairness, but I’m not surprised. Besides, life would be pretty boring if everyone liked me.

So now, I’m sitting here wondering if it’s worth my time, energy, and the personal angst to keep sharing this blog with the masses, especially since I know there are people out there who probably have this expression on their faces as they read…

Yeah… I see you lookin’… I see you hatin’….

Trust me. There are times when I wish I had turned out differently. I wish I didn’t feel compelled to write every day. I wish I had a knack for something more practical and less revelatory… maybe something that would make me some money. Writing can be lucrative. There was a time when I made $40 an hour writing from home– and that was years ago. I could probably make more today. If I had stuck with that career path, I could have had a very different lifestyle. On the other hand, there’s a reason technical writers earn so much. It’s not the most exciting writing to be doing, nor is it the most exciting reading for other people. But maybe if I hadn’t wound up married to a military man, I would have had a very different existence… and I would not be sitting where I am right now, pondering what I should do about the “eyes” who are obviously watching for drama and don’t have enough exciting things going on in their own lives.

I suspect the folks who have inspired this post feel that they know me better than they do, which I guess is natural enough, since there is a lot of content out there. However, I would like to remind them that we don’t actually know each other, and politely ask/warn them to stay out of my business (you’ll note that I didn’t write “please refrain”). If this seems like a cryptic request to you, then you’re not among those I’m addressing. I suspect the people who need to heed this request can self identify. I don’t think you’re going to find what you’re looking for in this blog anyway, so you might as well stop wasting your time.

My husband has an advanced degree in cybersecurity, so it’s been fun to share this journey with him. He’s offered me some insight into how this internet security stuff works. While I don’t have any desire to go back to school, I can see why people study cybersecurity. It’s a very intriguing field. Maybe it’s time I took a course or two myself.