Tag Archives: singers

book reviews, celebrities, music

Repost: Julie Andrews’ Home: A Memoir of My Early Years…

Here’s another reposted book review that I wrote for Epinions.com. It was written in November 2008, and appears here as/is.

I have always admired the great actress and singer Julie Andrews, star of My Fair Lady, Mary Poppins, andThe Sound of Music. I also love to read true stories, especially biographies and autobiographies. When I spotted Julie Andrews’ autobiography, Home: A Memoir of My Early Years, I decided I had to read it. I wanted to know how this woman who has had such an enduring career in show business got her start.

Julie Andrews began life on October 1, 1935 on Walton-on-Thames, Surrey, England, UK. Her mother was an aspiring vaudevillian actress and musician and her father was a teacher. She was born Julia Elizabeth Wells, but her name was later changed to Julie Andrews when her mother got remarried to Ted Andrews, a singer and actor. Apparently, it was thought that the name Julie flowed better with her new last name than did Julia. Julie Andrews muses that she never knew how her father felt about the name change but concedes that he must have been hurt.

Using a very intimate writing style, Andrews reveals how she grew up the product of a broken home, with a mother who drank too much and enjoyed too many extramarital affairs. Along with this turbulent home life, Julie Andrews also lived through the worst years of World War II. She includes some memories of those times, when German invasions were common and feared. She writes of hearing air raid sirens and sharp warnings from the warden who passed by. She vividly describes hiding in subway stations for safety during bombing raids and comments that her stepfather, Ted Andrews, once forgot his guitar. The guitar was very precious, since it provided him his livelihood. He managed to retrieve it and entertained the masses in the subway station. I found Andrews’ tales about living through World War II especially interesting, since I wasn’t around during that time and am now living in a place where it still leaves an enduring impression.

I like Julie. She’s a woman after my own heart.

I was also interested in reading Julie Andrews’ life story because I am a singer. Julie Andrews is, of course, a wonderful singer. She was discovered by her stepfather, who revealed her powerful four octave voice and started giving her singing lessons. Andrews’ mother was a brilliant accompanist. It wasn’t long before Julie was a part of their act. Not long after she became part of the act, she became its star, complete with top billing.

Naturally, Julie Andrews’ vocal training and performances led to later training with a string of eccentric but excellent teachers. I think I would have enjoyed reading about these experiences even if I weren’t myself a singer. Andrews’ writing makes them come alive. Since I do sing, I found I could relate a bit to her experiences. Andrews also reveals that she has perfect pitch, which I also have; it was interesting to read about that as well.

Julie Andrews made her Broadway debut in 1954, when she was 19 years old. She was very successful in her role in The Boy Friend, which led to one of her best known Broadway roles as Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady. I found Andrews’ comments about My Fair Lady fascinating, especially as she revealed tidbits about the great actor, Rex Harrison, who played Professor Higgins. Andrews also dishes about working with Richard Burton, who was apparently very crass and egotistical.

I appreciated Andrews’ reflections on her family members. She writes about her mother, stepfather, and father, of course. She also includes information about her many siblings, stepmother, and her daughter. Naturally, she also writes about her first marriage to Tony Walton.  Andrews even includes a “shocker” about her family that I wasn’t expecting.  I won’t reveal it here because I don’t want to spoil it, but I will remark that again, I found myself relating to her a bit.  Suffice it to say, it can be very tough living in a step situation.  It’s also tough living with an alcoholic.  Julie Andrews managed to do both and flourish.

Home includes two generous black and white photo sections, with pictures of her parents and grandparents as well as Andrews herself as a little girl. There are also photographs of Andrews in her roles. Unfortunately, Andrews rather abruptly ends this part of her life story at 1962, just as she was on verge of making Mary Poppins for Walt Disney. I was disappointed at the end of this book, because I wanted to know more about her later years. I hope she comes out with a sequel.

In any case, I think Home: A Memoir of My Early Years is worthwhile reading for anyone who enjoys a good memoir. Julie Andrews writes as if she’s sitting down and talking with her readers. I could practically hear her chirpy voice in my ears as I read her very personal and revealing narrative. I wish this book hadn’t ended quite as abruptly as it did, but as it is, she had a lot to write about during the first 27 years of her life. It leaves me hoping that her next book will be just as satisfying.

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book reviews, celebrities, music

Repost: Anne Murray’s life story: All of Me…

I am slowly migrating my book reviews from my music blog to this site, as I will probably discontinue the music blog as soon as I’m eligible for a final Google Ad Sense payout. It could take years for that to happen, but I have about $96 and I need $100 for a payment. The other night, I heard Anne Murray sing a duet with her daughter, Dawn Langstroth, who is also a very good singer. It reminded me that I read and enjoyed Anne’s life story. So here it is, reposted as/is, from my review written in August 2017. Maybe it will give y’all something to read that isn’t as depressing as the news is these days!

She’s had over forty years of experience in the music business, two kids, a divorce, and multiple album sales.  She’s also an institution in her native Canada.  I am referring to singer Anne Murray, who originally intended to be a physical education teacher and ended up as a huge star. 

As a kid, I used to listen to her music.  I would describe it as pleasant, comforting, and tasteful.  I can’t listen to her 1978 hit, “You Needed Me” and not be reminded of moving back to the United States from three years in England, where my dad was serving in the Air Force.  Anne Murray was one artist who never offended and she was one of the few popular singers my dad and I could listen to together.

Although I have pretty broad tastes in music and only have one Anne Murray album in my personal collection, I love a good life story.  I just finished reading Murray’s All of Me, which was published in 2009.  Given her decision to retire from the music business in 2008, it makes sense that she’d turn to books.  This one was written with help from ghost writer Michael Posner, who did an admirable job making the book sound as if it came straight from Ms. Murray’s computer.

Born in Springhill, Nova Scotia on June 20, 1945, Murray was the third of six children and the only daughter of her surgeon father and nurse and housewife mother.  Murray and I happen to share a birthday, which makes me feel kind of special…  of course, we also share that birthday with Lionel Richie, John Taylor (of Duran Duran), Nicole Kidman, and John Goodman, among others.  Although Murray’s father was a Presbyterian, her mother was a devout Catholic and Murray and her brothers were raised Catholic.  Murray went to a Catholic college for a short spell, then transferred to the University of New Brunswick which the intention of teaching P.E.

Murray was also an enthusiastic singer growing up, as is one of her brothers.  She lasted one year teaching P.E. before she was a bonafide professional musician.  Her first big hit was “Snowbird”, which made her a star in 1970.


Anne Murray sings her best known hit.  Those pants are something else.

All of Me is surprisingly interesting, as Murray explains what it was like for her as a woman in the music biz during the 70s, 80s, and 90s.  She includes plenty of anecdotes about other people she knew and performed with, funny stories about life on the road, and some interesting trivia.  I especially got a kick out of her story about taking part in a bizarre TV special that pitted musicians from the East against musicians from the West.  Murray found herself competing with and against the likes of Joan Jett, the Jacksons, Sha Na Na, Boston and ELO!  I was only six years old in 1978, when this show aired, but I can promise you I would have loved it. 

Murray apparently also got confused for being a lesbian more than a couple of times.  One time, a groupie ended up in her bed, thinking Murray was into chicks.  She makes it clear that she’s a straight arrow, having married her ex husband Bill Langstroth in 1975.  The two were together until 1998, when they divorced after 23 years of marriage and two kids.

One thing I noticed about this book is that Anne Murray comes across as a very down to earth person.  She doesn’t seem to have lost her humanity when she became famous.  She stays classy and civil and doesn’t cheapen herself with tawdry comments about others.  As a fellow musician, I also enjoyed reading about the musical side of her business.  I even learned a few things I didn’t know before.

Anne Murray sings “You Needed Me”, another huge hit.

Anyway… although this book is now about eight years old, I really enjoyed reading it.  I would recommend it to Murray’s fans, but I would also recommend it to people who enjoy life stories… especially those who were around during Murray’s heyday.  I hope she’s enjoying her life now, as an avid golfer and proud mother of two grown kids.  And… on a different note… it was nice to read a book that wasn’t very depressing.  So bravo to Anne for that!

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book reviews, celebrities

Repost: My review of Debby Boone’s life story at age 25, So Far…

I wrote this review for Epinions.com in 2011. It appears as/is. This was another very popular review, despite the fact that Debby Boone’s life story was published in 1981!  I think people are interested in this review because Debby wrote about Pat Boone’s penchant for spankings.  People are dirty.  😉 Some people also don’t agree with my assessment of Debby Boone circa 1981. Remember folks, it’s just my opinion.

Debby Boone’s big hit!

The other night, I posted a news article on Facebook about 50s singer Pat Boone, who is apparently a tried and true Tea Partyer.  Boone was in the news for saying that President Obama was not really born in Hawaii.  He claimed that he went to Kenya and “everybody there” told him that Obama was born there.  Therefore, in Pat Boone’s mind, Barack Obama is not eligible to be our president.  The response to my link about Pat Boone got lively and that inspired me to re-read his daughter Debby Boone’s 1981 book, So Far.

This isn’t the first book I’ve read by Pat Boone’s offspring.  When I was in high school, I read Cherry Boone O’Neill’s book, Starving for Attention, because I was learning about eating disorders.  Cherry Boone O’Neill, Pat Boone’s eldest daughter, had suffered from anorexia nervosa in the 1970s.  At the time, I didn’t know that much about 50s sex symbol/teen idol Pat Boone.  I had heard of his daughter, Debby Boone, who had sung the smash hit “You Light Up My Life”.  But other than that, the Boone family was a mystery to me.

I learned a bit about Pat Boone’s family from reading Cherry’s book.  I knew that Pat Boone was a very strict disciplinarian and that he and his wife, Shirley, had raised their four daughters to be obedient servants of the Lord.  In her book, Cherry had explained that she and her sisters had grown up in luxury, but their days were centered around being perfect Christians.  Besides being heavily involved in church activities, Pat Boone’s girls had inherited formidable musical talent and performed quite a bit.  I wanted to learn more about them, so a few years ago, I picked up Debby Boone’s 1981 book, So Far, for the first time.  Now that I’ve read it a second time, I think I can probably put this book back on the shelf for good.

Debby Boone’s life story circa 1981

At the very beginning of her book, Debby Boone writes that writing has never come easily for her.  She doesn’t know why she’s writing her life story.  She explains that she had originally been skeptical that writing her story would be worthwhile.  Her mind changed when she started getting fan mail from people.  Evidently, the mail got to be too much for her to answer, so she figured it would be easier to write a book.  Of course, it’s not lost on me that those who wanted to get Debby’s response would be paying hard earned money for the book.  But nevertheless, I guess her fans appreciated it.

Bear in mind that Debby Boone was born in 1956.  In 1981, she was just 25 years old.  Yes, she had done some exciting things in her then brief lifetime.  She had grown up in California with a famous father.  She later became very famous herself, when she released the radio version of “You Light Up My Life”, a song that was originally recorded by the late session singer Kasey Cisyk for the film by the same name.  Debby Boone’s version of the song was huge and it made her a household name.  So, I imagine in 1981, Debby Boone was still pretty famous.  Why shouldn’t she have written a book while people still remembered her name? Well, I’ll tell you why.

There’s just not much to this book

Debby Boone freely admits that she’s not much of a writer.  She admits that as a child, she often handed in work that was done by her three sisters, rather than her.  At age 25, she hadn’t really lived yet, although she apparently did spend a lot of time turned over her father’s knee. 

Debby Boone was a bad girl

Evidently, Pat Boone spanked his daughters even after they had reached the legal age of majority.  Debby Boone frequently describes behavior that, frankly, probably warranted punishment.  In fact, there are a few times in the book that she basically admits to being a manipulative bully to her sisters and kids she knew in school.  She seems almost a little proud of her brattiness, as she describes how she got some poor little boy in trouble by falsely accusing him of swearing at her.  Her tone is almost gleeful as she relates how she conned her younger sister, Laury, into riding her bike naked around the front yard and how, more than once, Laury took one of Pat Boone’s legendary beatings in her stead because Laury had a tender heart and hated to see her sisters cry.

Speaking of beatings

Pat Boone was spanked until he was seventeen years old.  Apparently, Pat Boone’s mother had a way with a strap and would make his bum smart so much that he couldn’t sit down for awhile.  Apparently not to be undone by his mother, Pat Boone was also fond of using implements to discipline his daughters.  Debby Boone writes that she and her sisters would often compare “war wounds”.  Pat Boone would use a slipper, a belt, or any other tool that stung to make his spankings really hurt.  Consequently, after one of Pat Boone’s spankings, his daughters were often left with bruises. 

In a chapter entitled “The Last Spanking”, Debby explains that when she was 19 years old, her father got angry with her for taking too long to get a snack from a hotel vending machine.  Pat Boone caught Debby in the hotel lobby, talking to one of the musicians in their band.  It was late and she had been gone about twenty minutes.  He was “worried”, so he grabbed her, marched her upstairs, and gave her “what for”.  He meant to give her a spanking, but in the course of their fight, had accidently hit her in the head.  The blow caused a goose egg and the hapless musician Debby had been talking to in the lobby called Pat on the phone to cool him down.  I guess it was enough time for Pat to come to his senses.  Supposedly, he never spanked Debby again.

The B-I-B-L-E… 

Debby Boone writes of her experiences helping children with autism, visiting sick children in hospitals, and working with Youth With A Mission (YWAM– pronounced “why wham”).  She seems proud of her work with children, given that her older sister, Cherry, and Cherry’s husband, Dan, also worked with YWAM and no doubt had a lot to do with her choice to work with that organization.

She also writes of how she became Mrs. Gabriel Ferrer.  For those who don’t know, Debby Boone’s mother-in-law is the late Rosemary Clooney.  That means she is related by marriage to George Clooney.  Of course, George Clooney was a nobody in 1981. 

As they were with everything else in their daughters’ lives, Mr. and Mrs. Pat Boone were heavily involved in Debby’s romances.  Gabriel Ferrer had to ask for Debby’s hand in marriage.  And it was a good thing he was a devoted Christian.  Apparently, Pat Boone would not have stood for anyone but a “believer” to marry his daughters.

An abrupt ending

So Far comes to a screeching halt when Debby and Gabriel Ferrer get married.  A year after the wedding, they had their first child, Jordan.  These details are at the very end of the book, which to me, seems odd.  It’s almost as if the major life events of getting married and becoming a mother were almost an afterthought.

My thoughts

I think Debby Boone was very premature in writing her life story, even if she admits it was only “so far”.  I have a feeling she wrote this book for the money, which is, I guess, a valid enough reason to write it.  But she comes off as a bit smug and self-congratulatory in this book.  She reprints a couple of thank you letters she got from the mothers of sick kids she visited in the hospital.  She writes very little about her childhood.  Indeed, this book seems to be more about her life as a young adult than her life story.  And other than the fact that her dad employed corporal punishment, wouldn’t let his daughters date or wear makeup until they were 16, and took liberties with his daughters’ love lives and finances, she doesn’t reveal that much about her family.

I got a lot more out of Cherry Boone O’Neill’s book, Starving for Attention, which was a lot more interesting, better written, and much more complete.  Debby Boone does include some photos, but they are poorly edited and a couple of them were also in Cherry’s book.

Even if you are a Debby Boone fan, I’m not sure So Far is worth reading.  If you’re actually curious about what it was like to be Pat Boone’s daughter, I recommend Starving for Attention.  I think Cherry far outshone Debby in the book writing department, even if Debby will always be known for her one hit wonder.

Overall  

I don’t expect a lot of people are looking for this book anymore.   For good reason, it’s long out of print.  Plenty of copies are available on Amazon, again, for good reason.

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music, politics

Eric Schwartz does it again!

Back in the heady days of George W. Bush’s presidency, I was exposed to a wonderful singer-songwriter-guitarist named Eric Schwartz. He wrote and sang a hilarious song called “Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis”…

The sign language interpreter is adorable! If you watch any of the videos in this post, this is the one to see.

I subscribed to Eric’s YouTube channel after I heard this song the first time. I kept with him for awhile, but then he faded from my conscience because life happened and, back then, he didn’t seem to be very prolific. This morning, much to my delight, I saw that he has a new song out. It’s not as hilarious as the one that introduced me to his genius, but it still packs a punch…

I’m not surprised Eric dislikes Donald Trump… I fully support his message with this song.

Music is such a powerful instrument for spreading messages to the masses. Eric pretty much sums up my issues with Trump supporters, especially the ones who claim to be Christians. There is nothing about Donald Trump that champions what Jesus Christ taught. I don’t understand supposed Christians who support Trump’s sleazy politics, his constant lies, and flagrant disregard for everything from the environment to the checks and balances that were intended to prevent tyrants from taking over the country. I love that people like Eric Schwartz turn our collective frustration with U.S. leaders into clever songs with biting commentary. I don’t need to hear a moving speech. Give me well-played original songs with witty lyrics any day!

This one is a bit creepy.

I, myself, even got a little bit musical last night. It was dark, cold, and rainy yesterday, so we didn’t go out and do anything other than the usual chores. I sent Bill out to start my car, because I haven’t driven it in ages and figured the battery could use a charge. Sure enough, it was dead, so he has to go get jumper cables today at good ‘ol AAFES. I went on Facebook and invited song requests. Quite a few people were takers. I was a little surprised by that. So I did a bunch of songs… not that any were as cute and clever as Eric Schwartz’s, but some I’m kind of proud of. Since it’s dark and rainy today too, maybe today will also be musical for me. Too bad I never learned how to play guitar. Maybe it’s time I learned.

Maybe then I could write clever songs like this one…

Bill will be here a week, then he’ll leave again for another week. I hate this time of year. The weather is depressing and all I want to do is hibernate. But at least I have time to listen to songs by Eric Schwartz and the other brilliant musicians who share their original work on YouTube.

Damn… I can relate. I love his band, too.

I think it’s harder to get noticed as a musician than it is as a writer. Lots of people are afraid to give musicians a chance if there’s a choice. Sure, if you hear someone busking on a street corner, you may stop to appreciate it or stick your fingers in your ears… Sticking my fingers in my ears was what I always did when my dad sang church choir solos. A lot of people loved his voice, but not me. Consequently, I’m kind of shy about public performances, even though they make me light up on the rare chances I can do them. I put my stuff on the Internet, so people have a choice. Most people choose not to listen, and I can’t blame them. I feel the same way they do, although there are times when I am pleasantly surprised by someone’s talent. Eric Schwartz is one who never fails to pleasantly surprise me.

He plays keyboards too.

By the way… last night, someone suggested I sing a song by The Ramones. I don’t know many songs by them, but hell… maybe sometime I’ll give it a whirl. I’ve been known to do Led Zeppelin and AC/DC when the mood strikes. I also like to write parodies sometimes… and fiction, although I quit doing that last year thanks to interference from people who think they know what’s in my head.

Anyway… I hope those of you who are still reading my blogs will give Eric Schwartz a couple of views, especially if you’re not a fan of Republican politics. You might just enjoy his biting wit and satirical turns as much as I do.

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musings

I don’t like Meat Loaf…

Today on my music blog, I wrote about how I got a mild ration of shit for not enjoying Janis Joplin’s music. It always cracks me up when I express an opinion, particularly about a certain food or type of music, and someone tries to convince me that I’m wrong. There’s no accounting for taste. Opinions differ. I know a lot of people like Janis Joplin’s music. Many people think she was extraordinary. A lot of people feel that way about Barbra Streisand, too. I like songs by Janis and Barbra, but I think they’re overrated singers. It’s just my opinion. I’m entitled to it. You’re entitled to yours.

Anyway, as I was writing about the contentious Janis Joplin thread I had going last night, it occurred to me that I don’t like Meat Loaf, either. I mean, I don’t like the singer– not the dish. I actually LOVE meatloaf, the dish. I make a mean one, stuffed with cheese, ham, and loaded with Italian spices. It’s been too long since I last made one, too. Maybe we’ll do it this weekend. As I look for a photo of meatloaf, I see that it doesn’t look appetizing… but damn, it tastes good!

In fact, here’s the recipe for Stuffed Italian Meatloaf. You can’t say I never gave you anything.

2 eggs, beaten

3/4 C soft bread crumbs

1/2 C tomato juice (or tomato sauce– I have used leftover Ragu sauce successfully)

2 T parsley

1/2 t oregano

1/2t salt

1/4 t pepper

1/2 clove garlic

2 lbs ground beef

6-9 ounces shredded mozzarella cheese

3 slices mozzarella cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees (176 Celsius). Combine all ingredients except meat and cheese. Mix in ground beef, form 10×12 rectangle on waxed paper. Sprinkle cheese almost to edge. Beginning at short side, roll up meat, sealing edges and ends. Place seam side down in 9×13 baking dish. Bake 1 1/4 hours. Place cheese slices over top and return to oven to melt. Serves 10 to 12. If you want to, you can also put thin broiled ham slices under the shredded cheese as more stuffing. This recipe comes from the Virginia Hospitality cookbook and I’ve served it to many people with great success!

Back to Meat Loaf, and why I don’t like him. There’s a reason I’m not a fan of Meat Loaf, also known as Michael Lee Aday. It’s not because he’s a bad singer. I fully recognize that he’s a great entertainer and a talented singer. I know people love his music and appreciate his theatrical style. He has a powerful, operatic voice, as well as a sense of humor that appeals to many. I don’t own any of his music, though, and I own music by lots and lots of musicians from a broad array of genres. Meat Loaf was popular when I was a child and I heard him on the radio a lot. I probably could have taken or left him, if not for an incident that occurred in early 1994.

One weekend, during my senior year in college, I had gone to visit my relatives in Natural Bridge, Virginia. It was cold outside, so it must have been in the winter– I think it was February, because I remember telling my aunt that graduation was coming up in just a few months. My cousin, who was then a senior in high school and very popular with males, was invited to a party. She asked me to go with her. We went to some guy’s house… I don’t remember his name, but I do remember that he had a son named Brian who was about my age. My cousin is four years younger than I am, so that would mean Brian was an adult, while she was still a minor. They were apparently dating at the time.

So there we were at Brian’s father’s house. We had gone there to pick up “dad” so we could all go to the party together. As Brian was getting ready for the festivities, dear old dad struck up a conversation with me. He told me that he’d gone to high school with my Uncle Steve. Steve was born in 1945, which means that he’s 27 years older than I am. Steve has two children and they’re both slightly older than I am. My cousin and Brian were making eyes at each other. Dear old dad was apparently making eyes at me. I was oblivious.

He turned on the stereo. Meat Loaf’s hit song, “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” was playing. I remember it was the first time I’d really heard that song, although I’d heard about it from my friends. I don’t know how I missed it, since it was probably Meat Loaf’s best loved hit.

I HATE this song, however it’s notable since the female solo part was done by Ellen Foley, who went on to star on Night Court in the 1980s.

I remember listening to the music as Brian finally got finished gussying up. We went to the party in Brian’s car, while my cousin’s car was left at Brian’s dad’s house. Brian and my cousin eventually disappeared together, and I was left there alone, talking to people I didn’t know very well. I remember meeting a woman who went to Randolph-Macon College and was roommates with a woman I’d gone to school with in Gloucester County. I wasn’t good friends with her roommate. In fact, we’d had a very contentious history. Her younger brother ruined my very first Walkman knockoff by putting it in a swimming pool, and her mom got angry at my dad for requesting that she pay for the damaged item. I don’t think their mom ever forgave my dad, even though her son had purposely ruined my radio. He’s probably completely forgotten that incident, but I haven’t.

Anyway, it was kind of interesting that my old schoolmate’s roomie was at this party, which was clear across the state from Gloucester and Randolph-Macon College. That was probably the coolest thing that happened that night. She eventually got up to get some beer, and I was suddenly confronted by Brian’s father, who was EXTREMELY drunk. He’d apparently spent a couple of hours at that party just sitting there getting hammered. He was so intoxicated he couldn’t keep his eyes open. It was not an appealing or attractive look for him, and frankly, it made me nervous to talk to him.

Brian’s dad then proceeded to hit on me. I was 21 years old. He was in his late 40s and piss drunk. Here I was, sitting alone while my cousin made out with Brian. Brian’s dad slurred, “You’re sooo cute… Let’sh go to my housh and wait…” He wanted me to accompany him to his house and hang out there with him, alone. I don’t think he would have harmed me, unless we died on the way out of there. He was so wasted that he was close to passing out.

I told him I didn’t want to go with him. For one thing, he was dead drunk and had absolutely no business driving. For another thing, I wasn’t the slightest bit interested in him, especially in his inebriated state. I didn’t want to hang out with him when he was that drunk. I doubt I would have wanted to get to know him when he was sober, either. He quickly revealed himself to be an asshole of the first order. So I said no… more than once. He wouldn’t take it as an answer.

“Aw come on…” he begged. “Let’sh go. You’re shoooo pretty… I knew your Uncle Sh’teve in school…” Those beer goggles were strapped on tight!

“No.” I said. “I need to wait for my cousin.”

“She’s okayyyy…” he slurred. “She’s with my Sh’ON!”

Yeah… that was what I was afraid of, especially if his son was anything like him. So I said, “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Bitch!” he shrieked, suddenly not finding me so “cute” anymore. “You’re jusht a bitch!” He finally staggered off in a rage.

At that point, I got distinctly uncomfortable and decided to remove myself from that situation. I found the party’s hostess and asked if I could borrow her phone. The hostess was very apologetic as I called my aunt to come and get me.

My aunt showed up a little bit later, very upset. She hissed, “I feel like taking her to the emergency room!” referring to my cousin.

“Why would you do that?” I asked.

“What do you think they were doing?” aunt said, fuming. Clearly she assumed they were having sex.

I looked over at Brian’s car and sure enough, the windows were fogged up. I could see him on top of my cousin. It looked like they were kissing passionately. I don’t know if anything else happened that night, and I never asked. I do remember trying to drive my uncle’s truck home with my cousin in it, as her mom had gone to retrieve my cousin’s car. The truck had a “three on the tree” gear shift, so I kept shifting wrong, making the ride home even less comfortable than it otherwise would have been. I apologized to her for “ratting” her out, but I didn’t see any other way to get out of that situation with Brian’s drunk dad, who was making me very uncomfortable. I didn’t have my own transportation and didn’t know where she was, so I had to call for help.

Another song by Meat Loaf that I’d pass on… especially now.

My cousin was surprisingly chill about it and didn’t get angry with me. Maybe she was relieved that I called her mom. Unfortunately, Meat Loaf’s music is now completely ruined for me. I didn’t really like most of his songs that much anyway, though. I remember right before that incident, he had a hit in “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)”, a song that I never liked. After meeting Brian’s dad at that party, I can say that I like it even less!

Isn’t it funny how music can trigger memories? Some are good. Some are distinctly bad. I know people love Meat Loaf and hate meatloaf. I love meatloaf, but would rather pass on Meat Loaf. Every time I hear his music– especially “Paradise By The Dashboard Light”, I’m reminded of Brian and Brian’s drunk ass dad. Come to think of it, I don’t really like parties that much, either.

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