Sorry about the picture… one of my other pet peeves is people who use single letters and numbers to communicate instead of actual words. It was just too perfect for this post.
It’s Monday morning. I had kind of a boring weekend. I meant to go out and do stuff, but it was rainy and chilly and I didn’t feel like venturing out. In retrospect, it would have been a good idea to go out and do something. I spend too much time at home. I guess I was just in the mood to be a homebody after last week’s big trip. Besides, Bill was tired after a long week at work. He needed the rest.
Anyway… although I was at home and probably could have done something constructive, I mostly hung out with Bill and talked. We also binge watched the third season of The Handmaid’s Tale. I’ve been watching it on my own on Hulu, but he hadn’t seen any of the new episodes. It’s probably a bad idea to binge watch that show because it usually gives me nightmares. I think The Handmaid’s Tale coupled with the news equals strange dreams.
While we were watching the show, I got a message from SingSnap. Some guy liked my recording of “Faded Love”. Awesome. I like to do old Patsy Cline songs sometimes. However, although he left me a very nice comment, he also broke one of my cardinal rules. He called me “hun”.
I have ranted extensively about my dislike of cutesy pet names, particularly from strangers. I especially dislike “sweetie” and “hon” (or “hun”). Of course, I sometimes call Bill “sweetie”, but he’s my husband and he is actually a very sweet, kind person. He calls me “darling”, which doesn’t bother me at all. Why? Because we’re intimate. Despite my occasionally abrasive personality and general slovenliness, he still loves me. He knows me well enough to think of me as “darling”, despite everything that could easily turn him off about me. Therefore, he has the right to call me by a cute pet name. Strange guys on SingSnap don’t, and really shouldn’t. Seriously. It skeeves me out on several levels.
I have a lot of reasons for not liking pet names, particularly from strangers. Generally speaking, I find them condescending and diminishing. Aside from that, if you’d call a stranger “hun”, you’d call anyone hun, so it’s not even a real term of endearment. The guy also could have clicked on my profile and discovered my real name, which is Jenny. Now, if you get to know me and come up with a clever nickname for me, I wouldn’t necessarily object to that, as long as the nickname isn’t offensive. For instance, when I was in high school, there were some people who called me “genitalia” because my first and maiden names said together sounded vaguely like “genitalia”. Also, I say gross things sometimes. But I once had a boss who called me “Blossom”, short for “Gin Blossom” (the band), because my name is Jenny and I sing… and I probably also have a few gin blossoms, although he’s never referenced them.
I posted about this on Facebook, because I have friends who know all too well how I feel about this issue. One friend quipped that it didn’t immediately register with her that the guy was actually calling me “hon” and misspelling it. She wondered why he was calling me a Hun, which is defined thusly:
It occurred to me that I should respond to him by saying, “That’s Attila to you.” So I just did…
The guy who left the above comment, doesn’t know me from Adam. If he did get to know me, he’d quickly discover that I’m about as “sweet” as a turnip or an unripened radish. My personal flavor profile is definitely more bitter, sour, salty, and spicy than sweet. In fact, he could have called me Madame Bitterness and that would have been more accurate than “hun”. It also would have indicated that he actually knows me and, therefore, is qualified to bestow a name on me not given by my parents.
I can be nice. I can be kind. But few people would describe me as sweet, like honey. Not even Bill would. I asked him once if he thought I was “sweet”. His response was, “I think you have a sweet voice.” Fair enough. On the other hand, I probably am a bit like a Hun. Especially when I’m really pissed. Maybe my admirer was right to call me “hun” as opposed to “hon”, although he should have realized that Hun is a proper noun. Somehow, I don’t think he was thinking of warlike Asian people when he referred to me as “hun”.
On another note, the guy might have a nice voice, however, his comment, while basically complimentary, is kind of patronizing. I’m flattered that he likes how I sing “Faded Love”, but it’s poor form to pimp your recordings on someone else’s recordings. Also, I might find that I disagree that we should duet. He might not be as good as he thinks he is… or he might be as good as he thinks he is, but then try to tell me my business, which I don’t like.
Music is really something I do for fun, and to stay sane. I take it seriously, but not that seriously. If we were in Nashville making a real record, I might be more deferential… but this is SingSnap. I might also be more inclined to check him out if he’d asked me to listen to his stuff, rather than telling me to do it. I guess I’m stubborn like that… probably much like Attila the Hun was. Now, all I need to do is grow myself a dick and try to conquer the Romans and besiege Constantinople.