Tag Archives: Spain

law, modern problems, politics, true crime

Do I even want to go “home” again?

The featured photo was taken on May 18, 2014, when Bill and I took a last Space A Hop to Germany, ahead of his military retirement. At the time, we didn’t know we’d be coming back to live in Germany just weeks later. We’re still here… and we no longer really want to go back “home” again. It definitely gives me some empathy and a unique perspective toward people who flee other countries for the United States…

Today is the one year anniversary of the death of an old Peace Corps friend of mine. I wrote about Matt last year, a few days after I found out about how he was senselessly killed by a reckless driver in Brooklyn, New York. Matt Jensen was a very special person. He had dedicated his life to teaching English as a foreign language, and students of all ages benefited from his natural acumen in the classroom. Matt was born to teach, and he had loads of charisma and a wonderful sense of humor. Although we hadn’t spoken or seen each other in many years, I was genuinely heartbroken when I heard about his sudden death last year. It just seemed so incredibly unfair.

For months, I watched the news to see if anyone would ever be arrested in connection with Matt’s death. Finally, in February, just as I was about to give up on justice, I was inspired to do one last search of the news. Sure enough, that very day, I found out that the police had taken a suspect into custody. I wrote another post about how I felt about that. I didn’t expect a lot of people to get it, since it was one of my more “creative” efforts… but to me, the post I wrote about Matt’s killer’s arrest set to the Police’s 1983 album, Synchronicity, made a lot of sense. When I knew him, Matt bore a resemblance to Sting.

I’m still watching for updates on the case involving Tariq Witherspoon, the 30 year old New York Emergency Medical Technician who is being held responsible for mowing down Matt with a borrowed black Rolls Royce last year. Every time I think about how Matt died, it seems more absurd to me. This was a man who served in the Peace Corps twice. He had devoted his life to helping people, especially those who wanted to learn English and improve their lives. To think that he was taken out by an over-the-top status symbol driven by a man who supposedly devoted his life’s work to saving other people’s lives! It’s completely ridiculous.

Every day, there are more news articles about how absolutely insane the United States has become in recent years. From the relentless attack on women’s rights, to the senseless gun violence at schools, churches, and supermarkets, to the abhorrent racism on every common street corner, I’ve become a lot less impressed with my homeland. Last night, I was reading a sickening story about a nine year old White boy who brought a whip to his Black neighbor’s house. He was captured with a Ring camera, whip in hand, visibly seething with rage as he banged on the neighbors’ door, demanding that their daughter come out. Why? Because they’d had an altercation at school, and he wanted to “finish” it with a fucking whip! Below is a video of the incident, along with follow up footage of the Black girl’s parents confronting the whip wielder’s father. Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised that the boy’s father came to the door with a gun in his hand. I can see where this kid’s rage comes from; his father is clearly a toxic and dangerous person.

What the HELL is wrong with people?

What is especially sad to me is that this is a nine year old child. He probably has no idea about slavery in America, and how enslaved Black people were whipped, beaten, raped, and murdered so that rich White people could get richer. I hate to think that this child, at just nine years old, has this much hatred for others. I see how angry and violent he already is at age nine. What will he be like at 19? I hope he gets some competent help from a therapist before he winds up arrested on felony charges, as his dad was after he fired a weapon at the Black couple who confronted him about the whip and the damage the boy allegedly did to their car.

Amid stories like the one above, there are so many angry people in the United States. I read another story this morning about how Spain is considering allowing women paid time off when they suffer severe period symptoms. I think the idea is very progressive and humane. While my own periods have mainly just been annoying and inconvenient, I know women who literally get sick every month when they have their periods. I have known women whose cramps were so bad that it hurt to walk, and they spent days vomiting.

What a contrast this policy is, especially in a country as Catholic as Spain is, to the anti-women legislation being considered in the United States right now. I grew up believing that the United States was the epitome of a “free country”. But if the Republicans have their way, abortion will be outlawed, and women could find themselves at risk of being arrested when they have miscarriages. That seems extreme, but consider that Lizelle Herrera, a woman in Texas who miscarried, was actually arrested recently and accused of “murdering” her unborn child. Thankfully, good sense eventually prevailed, and she was released after what was surely a very stressful and horrifying ordeal at the Starr County Jail. I hope the American Civil Liberties Union helps her sue the fuck out of the people who reported her to the authorities and arrested her. What is especially scary about Herrera’s case is that she had gone to a hospital for help, and wound up being accused of “death of an individual by self-induced abortion”. If we don’t do something about the right wing anti-abortion zealots, this is a fate that could affect a lot of women. And it may lead to miscarrying people not getting medical help when they really need it, for fear of being arrested and charged with murder.

Mama Doctor Jones spells it out for all of us. Outlawing abortion in the United States will result in a lot of morbidity and mortality.

Naturally, the comment section for the article about Spain’s proposed legislation included many awful comments from American males, who have NO idea what it’s like to have periods, be pregnant, or deal with the aftermath of childbearing. Having lived in Europe for almost eight years, I’ve admired the family and community focused laws here. No, it’s not perfect, and people here pay a lot of taxes, which I know would not be popular in the United States. But Europeans recognize that children need their parents. Women who have babies in Germany get a very generous paid maternity leave before and after their pregnancies, as well as other benefits. Fathers are also granted time off to bond with their babies.

In the United States, we have people screaming about fetal rights, yet denying citizens the means to give babies and children a healthy start in life. When someone points out this discrepancy, they are sure to receive a snarky, unempathetic reply, usually from a Republican male, who obviously cares more about money than fellow human beings. This is what one typically tone deaf man– a man who claims he’s a doctor, no less— had to say about Spain’s proposed legislation:

Great. How do you prove that you have severe period symptoms compared to moderate ? How can you control for abuse of taking time off and differentiate between authentic cases and fictitious ones?

This was what a woman said in response to the “doctor”, who doesn’t have much regard for women:

Wait, you claim to be a physician? It seems horrible that this would be your level of compassion for a patient. There have been days out of every month for the past 40 YEARS when the pain was so severe I was vomiting and in tears. I spent the time with a heating pad or in a hot bath, trying my best to even prepare a meal for my family or perform the most basic tasks. This began when I was 12 years old. I was never diagnosed with any specific problem, and often told (mostly by male doctors) that it was just like that for some women and to “push through.” How does one prove such a thing?

Lots of people took on this supposed “doctor of misogyny”, as he continually mansplained why this law could be problematic. According to him, there are a lot of women in Spain who are just waiting to game the system and take off work when their period pain doesn’t warrant it (in his opinion, anyway).

I also saw a comment from a man who probably votes for pro-life candidates, but harangued a woman who pointed out how misogynistic the United States is. He told her to “get a new job” and exercise “personal responsibility”. When she came back and told him she was a member of a union and got decent benefits (for the United States, that is), the guy told her to “stop crying”. In his mind, she already had hers and needed to STFU. He couldn’t see why she’d want to advocate for others, who aren’t as fortunate. Does this man have women in his life? Does he care about them? Based on his comments, I’d guess not.

The pervasive self-centeredness and selfishness in the United States is just awful. It really doesn’t make me want to go home, even though I know I’m going to have to at some point. We have some unfinished business that needs to be handled. But do I want to move back there permanently? I have to be honest. I don’t think I want to. The United States has changed noticeably since the Trump years. I think Trump’s presidency has awakened and emboldened some of the worst people in our society. It will be years before the United States is back on track. It hurts to see how awful it is from afar.

Our village’s leaders care about bees… as well as people.

Meanwhile, here in my little Hessian village, people are community minded and focused on doing things for the environment. Our local Facebook group shared a new “bee feeding vending machine” that is available now. Someone repurposed an old gumball machine so that it sells “bee bombs”– bee friendly flower seeds that can be planted in gardens to provide bees with fuel. Here in Germany, it’s illegal to kill bees. The government has wisely realized that without bees, we’d have no food. Similar legislation and efforts to save bees in the United States would probably garner nothing but derision from the clueless.

Well, I know it’s inevitable that we’ll go home at some point. Does it mean we’ll stay there for good? More and more, I’m thinking that maybe we won’t. My Italian friend, Vittorio, was right when he told me some years ago that America has a “weird-o-rama” culture. He was spot on. I didn’t see it when I was in the thick of it, but after years in Europe, it’s as plain as day. And it’s truly heartbreaking.

Standard
funny stories, Germany, humor

R.B.F.

Yesterday, the weather was predictably nasty. Bill decided to take the dogs for a quick walk before the rain started in earnest. As he was walking along the main drag, Arran decided to drop a load. Bill was stooped over picking up the mess when a “scraggly” looking guy passed. Just as Bill finished cleaning up the poop, Arran took a couple of steps and cocked his leg on a cement pillar that formed part of an archway.

The scraggly guy turned and said, in German, that letting the dogs pee on structures isn’t a good thing to do. Bill said, “Ja, ja.” and went on about his day. Then he came back home and stewed about the encounter for awhile. Bill is unusually conscientious and takes public rebukes to heart. I could tell he was upset about that confrontation. I can’t blame him for that. I hate it when random people speak to me, particularly when they really need to fuck off and mind their own business.

For some reason, it seems like Bill runs into people like this more than I do. So I told him I thought he should develop R.B.F.

You know what that is, right?

I posted about it on Facebook, and my friend Meryl wrote, “Huh?”

Resting Bitch Face. I think Bill should develop one.

One of my other longtime friends who, I guess, is often shocked by the things I say and write, commented that she was grateful that someone asked what R.B.F. is so she wouldn’t have to. I thought it was self-explanatory. I have a pretty good R.B.F. myself. I think a lot of women develop one so they won’t be harassed by men. Seriously, if you look unpleasant and unapproachable, most people will leave you alone. It’s a great defense mechanism. Today’s featured photo is an example of one of my MANY R.B.F.s. Actually, in that photo, I was pretty pissed off.

As Bill was telling this story, I was cracking up. I told him he should have pulled out his Schwanz and taken a piss, too. It’s not like we haven’t seen dozens of European men peeing in public, although they don’t typically do it on busy thoroughfares. But the weather is so chilly that it would have meant instant shrinkage. We’re talking a stack of dimes shrinkage. Bill isn’t that bold, anyway.

I usually try not to let Arran pee on buildings, though, mainly because I don’t enjoy being confronted by random people about my dog’s natural toileting habits. Arran peed on that pillar because many other dogs have peed there. That’s like the community bulletin board for dogs. They go by and leave their urinary calling cards for all of the other dogs in the neighborhood. It’s Arran’s way of saying “Arran wuz here.”

The one time anyone German (other than ex landlady) ever spoke to me about my dogs’ potty habits was pretty positive. I was walking Zane and Arran through the field near us and one of the dogs pooped near a wood pile. I was cleaning up the pile when a guy drove up in his truck. He had a look on his face that told me I was about to be confronted. I immediately got nervous, because I figured the guy was going to yell at me. Then I realized that the look on his face wasn’t one of annoyance. In fact, he looked amazed and appreciative.

The man explained in German that people were regularly letting their dogs go potty by his wood pile, but they usually just leave their dogs’ piles of crap there. So he was delighted to catch me cleaning up after my dogs and was offering thanks. That was a memorable experience and every time I pass that woodpile, I remember it with a smile.

Hearing Bill relate that story also reminded me of a funny memory from several years ago, when we visited Rome. We were wandering around the city and happened to pass a church, where a homeless looking guy was sitting on the steps, drinking a beer. Another man was passing and shamed the homeless looking dude for drinking on the church steps. The street person did not seem affected by the shaming.  He casually raised his bottle as if to offer a sip to the guy who had just yelled at him. It was pretty funny.

As I sit here writing this, I’m reminded of how much I miss traveling and interacting with people. We have had so many funny things happen to us, especially in Europe. Like, for instance, the time we were in a Seville restaurant drinking wine. A bum came in begging for spare change. This guy was pretty ballsy and had a sense of humor. He was very persistent about begging for change, and I was a bit drunk. The bum and I ended up engaging in a really funny exchange, so at my prompting, Bill gave the guy a euro or two. Then I told him to beat it.

Actually, I rarely wear a mask, because I rarely leave my neighborhood.

I really hope this COVID-19 crisis eases up soon so we can have some fun again. It’s pretty sad when a random encounter with a German guy over dog whiz results in a blog post. I miss creating memories. Hell, it’s almost time for President’s Day, which is typically a long weekend we use for traveling to other places. Last year, we went to France. It’s also Fasching season, which usually means there will be festivals involving costumes, drinking, and partying in the streets. In 2019, we even got mooned while eating in a restaurant! But not this year. 🙁

We can’t go anywhere or celebrate Carnival, because everything is locked down. I guess the one consolation is that the weather is positively shitty right now and will be so for probably another week to ten days, at the very least. So another precious long weekend gets lost to the stupid virus. At least we have Noyzi here to provide some fun. And at least we live in a comfortable home, in a neighborhood where people are generally nice and leave us alone. I don’t have to employ my R.B.F. very often in these parts. I guess I have to take my victories wherever I can find them.

Standard
celebrities, YouTube

It’s hilarious that Hilaria Baldwin is big news…

I can’t keep up with the Baldwin brothers and their women… I do remember when Alec Baldwin was married to Kim Basinger. They had their daughter, Ireland, and split up. Then he was in the news for leaving Ireland a hateful phone message when she was about 11 years old.

But Mr. Baldwin is now married to the hilarious Hilaria, who used to be known as Hillary Lynn Hayward-Thomas. She’s in the news because she was outed for faking being from Spain. People are even making videos about it on YouTube.

Very interesting…

And below is a video by Dr. Todd Grande, a very dry, academic chap who speaks about psychological issues. Some people apparently asked him to address Hilaria’s choice to mislead the public into thinking she’s from Spain.

I think it’s interesting that Dr. Grande mentions that she was not popular or famous in any way before she married a movie star, who is many years older than she is.

Now, I haven’t actually spent any time thinking about Mrs. Baldwin, but the videos I’ve caught have kind of piqued my interest. Reading her Wikipedia entry, I’m inclined to believe that maybe Hilaria has some mental health issues. I did read that she had suffered from eating disorders when she was a teenager. It’s entirely possible that she has some co-morbidities with whatever caused her to have eating disorders. Or maybe this is much ado about nothing.

Hilaria would not be the first person trying to be someone she’s not. I seem to remember a lady of Jewish ancestry who was trying to pass as Black recently in the news. Jessica Krug was a professor at George Washington University when she was caught lying about her heritage. And there’s also the case of Rachel Dolezal, a white race activist who claimed to be Black. Ms. Dolezal was “outed” as a faker when her parents broke the news about her real origins.

Hilaria Baldwin, however, seems to have claimed to be Spanish based on spurious connections. She’d traveled there many times, and had a family member living there. For that reason, she’s got the right to be Spanish? Seems a little flaky to me. But I don’t really care, either way. She’s not someone I follow closely. I just think it’s interesting that she thought she could get away with misleading people, to the point at which she was apparently claiming to have been born in Mallorca. The first video I posted is especially intriguing, since the guy who made it actually has clips of Alec Baldwin saying on camera that his wife is a native of Spain. Alec Baldwin has been around for awhile. Did he really think people wouldn’t discover the discrepancy?

A lot of people are claiming she’s guilty of cultural appropriation… Hilaria wants to know who is harmed by her claim of being “Spanish”? Interesting question. 23andMe is currently claiming that I have Spanish ancestry, too. But they’ve done that before and taken away that designation, only to add it again. So who really knows? If you’re an American, there’s a good chance you’re really a mutt, anyway.

I’m just writing this to avoid writing about other things. By now, you know what they are. 😉

Standard
healthcare, law, true crime

Coronavirus craziness continues around the globe…

I have a friend who lives in Hawaii. She moved there from Germany several years ago. Both she and her husband were military, and both have retired from active duty. Now they have decided to settle there for a few years. One would think that would be a delight, but Hawaii has its problems. When there’s no pandemic going on, people who live there complain about high prices, low availability of goods, dense populations, and traffic jams. When there is a pandemic going on, people seem to lose their damned minds.

Coronavirus has thrown a wrench in everyone’s plans, but I think it’s especially crazy in the Aloha state right now. There’s a mandatory 14 day quarantine if you visit Hawaii, and the authorities are very serious about enforcing it. When visitors arrive at the airport, they have to give the officials their contact information, including where they’ll be staying. Hotel staff watches who comes and goes from the hotels, and they are quick to report people who hit the beaches or go shopping. My friend in Hawaii belongs to a neighborhood Facebook group and people are asking about how to report tourists who break the rules.

Many people being arrested are tourists, not everyone shows up in Hawaii for a vacation. Alyza Alder, 18, arrived in Hawaii and got a job working at a fast food restaurant. She posted about it on Facebook and was quickly hunted down and rolled up by the police. Another visitor from Oregon, 20 year old Artyon Zhiryada, was picked up not just for violating quarantine, but also because he posted a video of himself on social media shooting a chicken. A 51 year old mother named Misty Lynn Beutler was arrested after being caught leaving her son’s home and walking his dog. 23 year man from New York, Tarique Peters was arrested after posting pictures of himself at a Hawaiian beach on social media.

It seems to me that it’s a really dumb idea to post pictures on social media if you’re breaking the law… or even if you’re just bending the rules. A lot of people out there enjoy being snitches. Some people just get a kick out of meddling in other people’s business, especially when they can make themselves feel good about it because of a pandemic. They can say to themselves, “by turning in these people, I might be saving lives.” And indeed, that could be true… but it’s also the kind of behavior that stokes distrust, derision, and ill will toward all.

My friend in Hawaii reports that shopping has become extremely stressful, with everyone watching their neighbors for infractions of the social distancing and mask wearing rules. Then, they go on social media to post about what they see… or leave contemptuous comments about another person’s mask wearing techniques. Although I can see their points about the importance of such things at a time like this, I also think that kind of attitude makes things more difficult than they need to be. I wouldn’t want Hawaii to experience what people in Spain, particularly the children, are experiencing right now.

About a month ago, I blogged about the potential for mental health problems to develop or worsen due to the COVID-19 hysteria. This morning, I read about how children in Spain, who were completely locked down for six weeks straight, are significantly traumatized. Spain was hit very hard by COVID-19, so back in March, the government made it illegal for children to be outside of their homes at all. The restrictions finally eased a little bit in late April, and children were allowed outside for an hour. By that time, a lot of them were so terrified and stressed out by the draconian lockdown that they had no interest in going outside. Some had developed physical symptoms like eye tics, insomnia, and stomach pains. One woman interviewed for The New York Times said that her daughter had suffered such trauma that the first time she went outside, she was very nervous about being harassed by the police. And since that one trip outside, she has not wanted to go out again.

Granted, in Spain, things were pretty extreme. In Valencia, where there are beautiful beaches, police were flying helicopters over parks and beaches and blaring commands to respect the police from loudspeakers. At night, they shone spotlights that invaded people’s homes. Imagine being a small child and enduring that. I’m sure anyone who was in Europe in the 1930s and 40s might be able to relate somewhat. It’s something they won’t forget, and some may never get over it the trauma.

People in Morocco, where the COVID-19 infections have also been high and the government response has been draconian, are similarly afraid to go out. One mother of two teens said that her children are now petrified of going out, getting sick, and dying. I’m sure that will make it harder for them as they become adults and prepare to launch on their own. Most people will eventually recover once this threat passes, but there will be some who will stay traumatized.

I haven’t read of similar tactics in Hawaii yet. From what I’ve read, Hawaii hasn’t come close to the situation that Spain was facing. My friend in Hawaii reports that overall infections are low. In fact, I verified her numbers:

Looks to me like Hawaii is doing okay compared to everywhere else…

And I get that local officials want to keep it that way… Just seventeen deaths and most people recovering is a good thing, after all. But people are still acting like they’re going to die immediately if anyone breaks or bends the rules. My friend says that people are snapping at and scolding each other in the stores, lecturing each other online, and looking for ways to be “responsible citizens” by snitching on their neighbors and strangers. That sure doesn’t make Hawaii sound like the paradise it’s usually made out to be in the travel brochures.

I’m glad to see that my friend has a sense of humor about all of this, though. She’s even posting hilarious satire from The State of Hawaii’s Facebook page. Some of it is pretty believable. For instance, the other day she posted a satirical Facebook post from that page about how wash room attendants who make sure everyone washes their hands properly is a thing. However, bathroom attendants are becoming an actual thing in some places on the mainland. I shared with her a non-satirical article mentioning a Texas barbecue restaurant that has hired a “bathroom monitor” to make sure everyone properly socially distances in the restrooms. My natural observation about this new “career” opportunity is that it sounds like a shitty job with hours that stink.

People are legitimately anxious about catching COVID-19 or being responsible for spreading it. And the anxious people are winding up head to head with the people who insist that their freedoms are being violated by rules regarding social distancing, hygiene, and mask apparel. I have seen some people getting berated because they prefer to wear a face shield instead of a mask. The shields offer some benefits to the masks, though. For one thing, they allow faces to be seen and there’s less fogging. For another, they allow for more air flow and less heat and moisture, which for the hotter climates is a good thing. And they are also a lot easier to clean and don’t have to be thrown away as frequently.

People who have to wait tables or bartend with masks are experiencing acne and having trouble communicating with guests. Some have reported having trouble breathing, too. Although lots of people are quick to say “get over it” and “buck up” as they bring up how medical professionals wear masks all the time, I would hasten to add that people who work in healthcare made a choice to enter a field that requires masks. Until three months ago, people in the United States weren’t expected to wear face masks as a general rule. On the plus side, at least the females who are in the hospitality business don’t have to hear things like “You’d be so much prettier if you smiled.”

We are definitely living in weird times right now. I really hope this doesn’t end up being the “good old days” as time passes.

Standard