Here’s another song parody, written for my friend, Kim, who has insomnia. The melody for the song “Deacon Blues” popped in my head because it has that kind of languid, yet frustrated, boring mood to it. It seemed perfect for a song about insomnia. My lyrics are the result of about an hour’s worth of work, so sue me if they suck. I have nothing better to do. Don’t worry, I won’t quit my non-existent day job.
Sung to the tune of “Deacon Blues” by Steely Dan
Original lyrics by Donald Jay Fagen and Walter Carl Becker (scroll down for my reworked ones)
This is the day of the expanding man
That shape is my shade
There where I used to stand
It seems like only yesterday
I gazed through the glass
At ramblers, wild gamblers
That’s all in the past
You call me a fool
You say it’s a crazy scheme
This one’s for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I’ll make it this time
I’m ready to cross that fine line
Learn to work the saxophone
I play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whiskey all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues
My back to the wall
A victim of laughing chance
This is for me
The essence of true romance
Sharing the things we know and love
With those of my kind
Libations
Sensations
That stagger the mind
I crawl like a viper
Through these suburban streets
Make love to these women
Languid and bittersweet
I rise when the sun goes down
Cover every game in town
A world of my own
I’ll make it my home sweet home
Learn to work the saxophone
I play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whiskey all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues
This is the night of the expanding man
I take one last drag
As I approach the stand
I cried when I wrote this song
Sue me if I play too long
This brother is free
I’ll be what I want to be
I learned to work the saxophone
I play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whiskey all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues
New lyrics… You can listen to me sing them, here.
This is a night I fear will never die
I toss and I turn
as moments are ticking by.
Seems like only last night
I drifted easily to sleep
Like a baby, and maybe
without counting sheep.
You call me alert
You say I should go to bed.
I’d like to, for real,
I would sleep like the dead.
So useless to close my eyes
Even as I realize
With that bright morning sun
I won’t want to rise and run.
Learn to work the slumber zone
My body just won’t obey
Drink warm milk and snuggle pillows
And lie awake anyway
They got a name for narcoleptics in the world
I want a name; I can’t snooze!
They call them sleepy, call them tired.
But I’ve got Sleepless Blues!
My back to the mattress
A victim of restlessness
This sucks a lot–
The essence of pointlessness.
Sharing the empty time
With no one else, cuz’ they’re in the void.
I’m cranky.
They’re skanky.
And I’m so annoyed.
I crawl like a baby
silently from the sheets
Tiptoe to the bathroom
and sit on the toilet seat
Pee again, and then softly flush
Quietly, the waters rush
It goes down the drain
Like this time I should rest my brain.
Learn to work the slumber zone
My body just won’t obey
Drink warm milk and snuggle pillows
And lie awake anyway
They got a name for narcoleptics in the world
I want a name; I can’t snooze!
They call them sleepy, call them tired.
But I’ve got Sleepless Blues!
This is the night I’ll never get to rest
I lie on my side,
then turn over on my breasts
My eyelids droop and twitch,
Sue me if I act like a bitch.
I can’t fall asleep!
So I’m gonna be a creep!
Learn to work the slumber zone
My body just won’t obey
Drink warm milk and snuggle pillows
And stay awake anyway
They got a name for narcoleptics in the world
I want a name; I can’t snooze!
They call them sleepy, call them tired.
But I’ve got Sleepless Blues!