Tag Archives: talent

family, first world problems, nostalgia, YouTube

Weirdly enough, now I’m hooked on gymnastics… although I’ll never turn a cartwheel!

Yes, that’s an elderly gymnast proving that the sport isn’t just for the young. No, I will not be emulating her. I have no gift for gymnastics. I just like watching it sometimes…

This is probably going to be a somewhat short post. I find myself oddly bereft of a good topic this morning. Oh sure, I could write about the nonsense about people who are boycotting Bud Lite because they used a transgender model in their advertising. I could write about Donald Trump, but as I mentioned recently, he should be getting less airtime… Or maybe I could write more angsty crap about people I run into online, but I figure y’all have about had enough of that, too.

So that leaves gymnastics. I want to make it very clear. I’ve NEVER so much as turned a decent cartwheel myself. I don’t have any experience as a gymnast. I think I might have taken Mr. Moyer’s tumbling class at Oak View Elementary School (Fairfax, Virginia) in the late 1970s. I don’t remember being successful at it at all. I was never good at most sports. I tended to do best at sports that didn’t require teamwork.

Sometimes in the 80s, I started watching women’s gymnastics. I got kind of obsessed with it. In the late 80s, the gymnasts were mostly about my age, and that was during an era when they weren’t particularly successful on a world stage. I thought Bela Karolyi was interesting, because he was from Romania and had bravely defected, striking out in the United States. I didn’t know how toxic the sport could be. I just knew that the gymnasts had beautiful bodies, lots of physical strength and stamina, and musicality. I also knew they were super brave!

Yesterday afternoon, I found myself watching parts of a documentary about gymnastics. The clips I saw were mostly about Mary Lee Tracy, a well known coach of elite women gymnasts. It was so strange listening to her speak, because it reminded me a lot of when I used to take riding lessons. The way she spoke; the way she worked with her gymnasts; and the interaction among the gymnasts reminded me of some of the riding instructors/teachers/coaches (whatever your favorite term is) I encountered back in the 80s. A lot of them were focused on winning, rather than the other things the sport delivered, like horsemanship, physical coordination and strength, being outdoors, companionship, and yes, even teamwork.

She could be a riding coach…
Why was I watching this?

I started watching the gymnastics documentary clips after I wrote about an interaction I had with a woman in Northern Virginia who appears to be involved with horses. Our brief, unpleasant interaction reminded me, again, of some people I ran into during that era. I loved my horse, and I mostly enjoyed everything associated with that time. But when it came to competitions, things could get kind of ugly. In the horse world, sometimes it was especially difficult, as sometimes we were up against people who were riding extremely expensive and talented horses. Those of us with more modest means sometimes had a tougher time winning… although I certainly had my share of victories.

Now… horseback riding is really not on the same level as gymnastics, of course. It does require some courage, as you’re teamed up with an animal who is bigger and stronger than you are, and you can’t always control or predict their behaviors. If you want to jump, that can be nerve wracking, too. I remember being kind of scared of jumping for a long time after I took a fall. I eventually got over it and got into jumping at shows. Sometimes, I even did well! But, I wasn’t a particularly talented rider, like some of my friends were. I still managed to do relatively well, though. I don’t think I could have enjoyed any success as a gymnast.

Sometimes, I think about things I did when I was growing up and wish I’d made different choices. I’m not just referring to regretting things I said or bad behaviors. I mean I wish I’d focused on things I’m naturally good at, like music and writing. On the other hand, because of my past with horses, I can speak and write with authority on that topic. I may not look like it nowadays, but I did pretty much used to eat, sleep, and breathe horses when I was growing up.

Then again, my parents were really into music when I was a kid. I know, given the way my dad was, if I had been into music too, he would have made my life hell. I think there was a part of my dad that was kind of proud of me, but there was another side that was envious. Even when I was a young adult doing music, he tried to compete with me. I sensed that he really resented my abilities. I also don’t think my dad liked me very much. He didn’t treat me very well. So, if I had been into choir or some other musical activity, my dad probably would have alternately demanded that I also be involved in his many choral groups, or he would have begrudged me for doing well… or perhaps for being “better” than he was.

So I chose to ride horses instead of involving myself in something I innately do well. And like a lot of people, I left riding when I became an adult, because it’s an expensive and demanding sport. I now have the time and money for riding, but I think I’d be hurting if I went riding now. It’s been a LONG time since I was last in a saddle. I also don’t enjoy interactions with the uppity, and the riding world, unfortunately, is full of those types…

Here’s another observation I’ve made. I no longer like to watch horse events on TV. I think watching show jumping makes me sad, because it reminds me of being young and having a horse. BUT– I will watch gymnastics, even though I have never been in the sport, and I know it’s rife with some disturbing stories of abuse. To a lesser extent, I also like watching ladies figure skating. I also took skating lessons when I was very young. I was actually pretty good at skating– both ice skating and roller skating– but I quit ice skating when we moved to Gloucester, because there weren’t any ice rinks down there. I think there’s now one somewhat closer to Gloucester, but it still would have been impossible to be involved in that sport when I was a kid.

I think the biggest observation I’ve made, though, is that life is fleeting… and when you’re young and devoted to something like a sport, you don’t realize that time is passing. Eventually, most athletes move on from their sports. Riding is something that a person can possibly do forever… but there’s a high price to be paid. I’m already 50 years old, and I have yet to own a home. 😀 How can I fantasize about having horses in my life again?

Anyway… I know this is kind of a strange post. I just had this thought yesterday, as I was listening to Mary Lee Tracy speak. It gave me a flashback to the 80s. I feel like that wasn’t so long ago, but it really was… and I spent so much time in the barn, hanging out with horses. Granted, riding kept me out of trouble– which is probably why my mom was happy to pay for it– but now I’m left missing it somewhat, as I also regret not studying music, or doing something I could have developed more when I was younger and enjoy more today.

Aren’t first world problems fun? I probably ought to read more books instead of watching YouTube videos.

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complaints, money, rants, work

Repost: Got big expectations? Want quality? Well, quality costs… and right here is where you start paying for sweat.

Here’s a repost from my original blog. I wrote this on September 23, 2018. As Christmas approaches, I think it’s relevant… and I’m still deciding on today’s topic. My mom made the socks on my feet in the featured photo, too.

A friend shared this post from Scary Mommy yesterday.  It was originally written in March 2018, but somehow I missed the viral round.  I entertained myself by reading it as Bill and I came home from our excursion.  The Scary Mommy story was gleaned from a Reddit post that shows just how completely rude and entitled people can be sometimes, especially toward creative people.  

A guy on Instagram asked a crocheter named Krafty Katt if she takes commissions.  He wanted her to make him a queen sized blanket using expensive wool yarn and employing a complicated stitch.  She told him she’d do it for $400, with $200 paid upfront.  The guy’s response was very profane and he basically told her she was ripping him off because he could go to Walmart and buy a blanket for $15. He used every trick in the book to get her to lower her price for creating something stunning by hand.  She wouldn’t budge and eventually doubled her price.  I offer mad props to her for being so calm and handling that jerk the way she did.

I must admit, she was a whole lot nicer than I would have been.  I probably would have told the guy to go eat a bag of dicks the first time he started using foul language toward me.  Some people don’t seem to understand that handmade goods don’t just cost the price of the supplies.  They also require time and effort.  The guy’s insistence that the crocheter could buy yarn on sale and basically work for free was extremely insulting, especially considering how rude he was being to her.

My mom was making this the last time I visited her.

She also made this.  I did not inherit any of my mom’s talent for needle creations.  My sister got that gift.

I probably have even more insight into this phenomenon than other people do.  I grew up watching my parents making money from their creativity.  My mom ran her own knitting and needlework shop for over 25 years.  She ran her shop out of our home and taught countless people, mostly women, how to knit, needlepoint, cross stitch, and candle wick.  When I was really young, she even used to make clothes for me.  My mom has a gift for making beautiful things and she sold high quality supplies to like minded people who wanted to create beautiful things.  She probably knows all about the yarn Krafty Katt wrote of on her Reddit thread.

My dad had a complementary business doing custom picture framing and selling art by local artists.  Both of my parents made their livings laboring over beautiful things.  People would bring their creations to my mom when they needed help.  I remember her “blocking” needlepoint done by other women or finishing up projects for people.  I remember my dad and his assistant, Deborah (who took over his business), creatively framing pictures and making shadow boxes for patrons.  It all took a lot time, effort, skill, and most of all, vision.  Most people were very pleased with the end results, although some bristled at the cost.

Edited to add for 2021– this is my mom and one of her creations. She’s in her 80s and still does this…

Besides running her own knitting and needlepoint business, my mom was also a church organist for over 50 years.  People were eager to hire her to play for weddings and funerals because she is extremely talented.  I don’t remember her charging a lot of money to play the organ, but I do remember that each event required her to practice.  She had to practice for each Sunday service, every wedding, and all funerals.  That took time, energy, and effort, and she was entitled to be paid for it.

I have run into this issue myself.  I am a writer and a singer.  Writing and singing are two of my innate talents, so they come fairly easily to me, but I still have to develop them.  I studied voice for several years and put in a lot of time practicing and learning how to breathe.  I paid for music and an accompanist, as well as instruction from a teacher.  Now I can sing pretty well, but that skill didn’t come without cost, commitment, and a lot of effort.

My mom also made these.

It takes time and effort to make music or write a piece for someone else.  A lot of the pieces I’ve written for money have required extensive research, fact checking, and equipment.  Computers cost money.  Software costs money.  So do subscriptions to publications that provide the information I need to write something factual and credible.  I went to school for seven years past high school to develop the knowledge and skills to be able to write professionally.  God knows that took money!  Some people might argue that one can learn how to write well without a college degree.  I might agree with that.  However, I went to graduate school and studied specific areas that give me expertise that I wouldn’t have had otherwise.  It’s been awhile since my last freelance assignment, but back when I was writing for money, I was earning anywhere from $40 to $80 an hour in the Washington, D.C. area.

I even had a social work professor who told his students that we should never give away our work for free, even if we only charge a dollar.  When someone pays for something, they value it more.  Although I don’t always think monetary compensation is required for one person to value another person’s contribution, I do agree with the idea that nothing is really free.

A person is more likely to take another person’s work seriously if payment is required.  The payment doesn’t always have to be monetary.  It can also be given in the form of gratitude.  For instance, I would never expect someone to give me money for a gift I present to them.  A gift is, by definition, given without the expectation of money.  I would hope that the recipient would “pay” me by saying thank you, although that doesn’t always happen, either.  Sometimes people are clods… myself included.

Bill had this kilt made when we went to Scotland in 2017.  The kiltmaker measured him and created that kilt by hand.  It’s absolutely beautiful, but it cost plenty and took about three months to create.  Ultimately, it was worth it.  I’m glad we went to the kiltmaker instead of a big company that makes kilts in bulk.

Aside from the hard costs of producing something beautiful, there’s also the issue of time and labor.  No one wants to be a slave.  There has to be a pay off for being productive, and the more productive a person is, the bigger the pay off should be.  Krafty Katt is obviously very good at what she does– good enough that the guy who proposed that she make his blanket asked if she does commissions.  But then he insulted her by accusing her of ripping him off by demanding to be paid for her work.

I would not have made a blanket for the guy on Instagram for any amount of money.  I don’t think I could put my heart into creating something for such a selfish prick.  I think his best bet is to go to Walmart and buy something that was made in a sweatshop.  That’s the quality of person he seems to be… and probably the quality he deserves.  

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