communication, language, lessons learned, narcissists, YouTube

Are you experiencing envy, or is it actually jealousy?

As the days get closer to King Charles III’s coronation, YouTube personality, H.G. Tudor, has been making more videos about Meghan Markle’s inevitable narcissistic response to the “ballyhoo”. H.G. Tudor claims to be a narcissistic psychopath, and he makes many videos about other people he deems narcissists. Personally, I’m not sure he’s as narcissistic as he claims he is. I’m sure he’d argue with me about it… and I could be wrong. I just don’t think a really hardcore narcissist would care about sharing knowledge and personal experiences with the public, to “educate” them about their “kind”. He claims he does it because it “suits him”, and it’s for his own purposes. Maybe… and I do think he is very narcissistic. But as to the extent of his narcissism, who knows? And who cares? That’s not the main idea of this post, anyway…

One thing I notice and appreciate about H.G. Tudor is that he’s very precise about language and word usage. That happens to be one of my idiosyncrasies, too, although I confess there are times when I use words incorrectly. It’s just that I find words fascinating, so when I am corrected, I try to remember the correction and mend my ways.

Recently, I’ve noticed H.G. Tudor pointing out the difference between the words “envy” and “jealousy”. Many people think of those two words as synonyms and use them that way accordingly. However, they actually have distinctive meanings. And true to his narcissistic nature, H.G. Tudor sneeringly points out the difference every time he runs across comments in which someone dares to use the word “jealousy” when they really mean “envy”. It seems like people more often use jealousy in place of envy, rather than vice versa.

For those who don’t wish to look it up (for the love of GOD!), here’s a quick rule of thumb. The word “envy” is correctly used when you want something someone else has. For instance, you might feel envy if your best friend comes home with a brand new sports car or gets a big promotion at their job. You might be envious of a friend who gets to travel to exotic locations or has a really good looking partner.

“Jealousy”, however, is properly used when you feel protective or territorial toward something or someone. That’s when you feel like your position is threatened somehow. For example, you might “jealously guard” your property, or feel jealous when a potential romantic rival flirts with your significant other.

I must confess that although I did know the difference between the two words, like a lot of Americans, I mix them up all the time. But H.G. Tudor is correct, so I shall try harder to use those words properly. It’s good for the brain to keep these things in mind, and my brain needs all the help it can get.

My personal pet peeve is when people misuse (and overuse) the words “use” and “utilize”. There is also a difference in the meanings between these two words, but people frequently interchange them. I distinctly remember one time, telling a friend on Facebook that there’s a difference between the two words, only to be taken to task by another one of his friends who insisted that I was wrong (I’m not, by the way… For the love of God, look it up!).

The word “use” means to “consume from a limited supply or take something to achieve a result.” The word “utilize” means to use something beyond its intended purpose or in an unexpected way. They are NOT synonyms, although so many people mix them up that they’re probably by now considered synonyms in many dictionaries based only on popular usage.

You’d use a frying pan to cook your eggs. You’d utilize a frying pan to knock your husband unconscious for coming home drunk. You’d use a spoon to eat pudding. You’d utilize a spoon to open a can of paint. See what I mean?

A lot of people seem to think that “utilize” is a more “advanced” word, so they employ it as a means of sounding more formal or educated. Maybe it is a more advanced word, but only when it’s used properly. There are also situations in which both words will work. For instance:

I use old newspapers to line my cat’s litter box.

I utilize old newspapers to line my cat’s litter box.

Utilize works in that case, because newspapers are originally meant to be read, not spread in litter boxes for absorbing cat waste. But you wouldn’t correctly employ the word “utilize” in a situation in which you’ve employed an object for its intended purpose. For instance:

I utilize a curling iron to curl my hair.

Curling irons are meant for curling hair, so it would be more correct to write:

I use a curling iron to curl my hair.

Ditto:

I use a rake to gather the leaves in the fall, but I utilize a rake to beat my neighbor’s ass through the fence. (That would be quite an unexpected way to use a rake, right?)

I already have a lot of rather uptight language pet peeves like this… but I have to confess that H.G. Tudor has added another to my list. I will now make a point of using the words “envy” and “jealousy” properly. It’s the right thing to do.

Now… Mr. Bill has to leave town today, and I have some other stuff to get done. So, I think I shall end today’s blog rantings and get on with the day. I do hope you’re able to use the information I’ve provided in today’s post to good effect somehow. Maybe you’ll even be able to utilize it somehow, too.

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controversies, expressions, language, law

Repost: For the love of God, look it up!

And now I’m reposting this article that appeared on my original Blogspot version of The Overeducated Housewife on December 23, 2018. It’s a follow up to the previous repost– a rant about people who misspell HIPAA and insist that it’s actually spelled HIPPA (wrong). Again, this is mostly as/is, and all info was current as of 2018, not 2023.

Apologies to all.  I’m going to continue yesterday’s rant a little bit.  I know it’s petty.  I know a lot of people don’t care, and are more concerned that we get the “gist” of what people are referring to when they write “HIPPA” instead of “HIPAA”.  Frankly, I take a different view.  Knowledge is power.  I hate to toss around trite sayings, even those created by great authors like the late Dr. Maya Angelou.  But she was right when she said this:

Sage, gentle words from a great writer.

I don’t tend to use this quote much myself, mainly because the original wording has become bastardized into something that sounds kind of self-righteous and condescending.  Often, people who use this quote say or write something like this:

There’s a real difference in tone between these two quotes.  The second one is actually a modified version of the first, but comes across as kind of obnoxious.  Some other people simply write or say, “When you know better, do better.”  It’s akin to the people who shriek “Educate yourself!”

Another blogger, name of Mom, the Intern, does a much better job ranting about the bastardization of this particular quote than I can at this hour.  I recommend checking out her post if I’ve piqued your interest.  

The point is, while I don’t generally like telling people to “educate themselves” and don’t want to sound condescending and self-righteous, sometimes I feel compelled to advise other people to “do better”.  And that is what happened right after I opened my eyes this morning.

Those of you who read yesterday’s post may remember my admittedly long-winded rant about how many people on the Life is not all pickles and hairspray Facebook page repeatedly misspelled the acronym, HIPAA, as they each declared their expertise about this law.  I got to the point at which I felt like I had to be “that person”, and I posted this:

It’s HIPAA, not HIPPA. Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996. 

Although I knew very well that I was right about the way the acronym is correctly spelled, I did take the time to look it up, just to be sure.  It’s embarrassing when you try to correct someone and turn out to be wrong yourself.  I have done that before and learned from the experience.  When you have Google at your fingertips and a quick Web search takes a matter of seconds, it really pays to double check.  I also knew that my comment would annoy some people, so I wanted to be prepared for that.  People don’t like it when you correct them.  

Not surprisingly, there were others, like me, who had been suffering in silence.  At this writing, at least nine people “liked” that I posted the correction.  One person even went as far as to thank the first person (not me) who had correctly spelled the acronym, though didn’t call it out that people were getting it wrong.  

Also not surprisingly, I got one “who cares” response and another that claimed I was wrong.  The “who cares” response came from the page owner.  Frankly, I found her attitude disappointing, especially since members of the press follow her page.

Whatever, most of us know what it means. That’s the important thing.

I strongly disagree with this mindset, by the way.  There are good reasons for the concepts of “correct” and “incorrect”.  Words have meaning, and when you change words, you change meaning.  It can be as simple as conveying a different mood than was intended, or as serious as completely changing the message imparted.  See the above Maya Angelou quote for an example on that concept.

But then, someone who obviously did not take a second to look it up, posted this:

GRRR… it pisses me off when people are so very sure that they’re right when they’re clearly wrong, and it would only take a moment to check. I did edit my response, only to add that last bit about why it matters.

Maybe my being irked about this makes me anal retentive.  We all have reasons for being the way we are.  I am compulsive about words (and a number of other things, but that’s beside the point).    

On the other hand, it’s irksome when someone tells me I’m wrong when I know I’m right.  Not only did I know I was right before I posted, I actually took the time to look it up before I commented.  And with just a quick Web search, the commenter insisting that “HIPPA” is correct could have spared me from feeling the need to insist that I’m right, and advising them to look it up.  I don’t enjoy looking anal retentive and holier than thou, and yet, I couldn’t bring myself to let this slide.  

I can see why commenting on this makes me look picky and annoying.  But then, I find it annoying when people claim to be knowledgeable about something, yet don’t even get the terminology right.  Especially when all they have to do to verify is a quick check on an official Web site, like the one run by the Department of Health and Human Services.  Am I less entitled to be annoyed than the next person?  I don’t think so. 

I also think that the whole HIPAA argument, as it pertains to John David Duggar’s potential hospitalization, is mostly irrelevant.  The fact is, the people involved in John David’s medical care are beholden to HIPAA.  Friends and relatives who might spill the beans about his alleged hospitalization are not.  Either way, I personally don’t really care if he was in the hospital.  If he was, and the show’s producers and/or Boob want the public to know about it, it will probably come out in a forthcoming episode of the super boring show, Counting On, or it will be covered by People magazine.  

I know it’s just Facebook.  I know I probably need professional help, or at least a life.  I just felt like I needed to get this off my chest. Thank you for indulging me, and, for the love of GOD– look it up!

Then watch this hilarious video…

And here are the original comments from that piece in 2018:

AlexisARDecember 23, 2018 at 9:24 AM It’s a good strategy to look something up before correcting someone whenever it is practical to do so. Anyone’s memory can have a brief malfunction. Looking it up first saves a person the indignity of looking very silly.

Sometimes when one is working in a group setting, as in for presentations, someone in the group is insistent upon spelling a word incorrectly when doing so would make everyone in the group [and not just the person who insisted upon the incorrect spelling] appear ignorant. Most of us have phones with Internet access on us almost all the time now, so it’s not so hard to do. A lady in the city where I lived from the ages of nine until sixteen still hates my mom because my mom insisted that “potato” did noy have an “e” on the end (the lady was apparently plenty old enough that she should have remembered the Dan Quayle debacle, which even I know about, and it happened before I was born) when they were creating posters for a PTA-sponsored event. I wasn’t a big fan of Dan Quayle after the fact, but that particular fiasco was the fault of whatever teacher incorrectly spelled “potato” on the list of words to be used for the spelling bee. 

I find it somewhat outrageous that anyone would claim expert status or expertise concerning a set of regulations commonly referred to with an acronym when said person knew neither the correct spelling nor the words represented by the letters of the acronym. The fact that these people are citing laws that are likely irrelevant to the disclosure of John David Duggar’s recent hospitalization lends further credence to the idea that the HIPAA/HIPPA “experts” aren’t quite so knowledgeable as they claim to be.

Misspelling an acronym that is the subject of a debate is not the same as committing a typographical error when typing the word “because” in the same argument. I think the point went over Pickles’ head.

  1. Thomas WikmanDecember 23, 2018 at 12:20 PM There is nothing wrong with correcting people’s mistakes, especially if they insist that you are wrong. I don’t mind it. People who mind need to learn to take corrections the right way anyway (humbly and appreciative).
    1. knottyDecember 23, 2018 at 2:53 PM Right. I would rather be corrected than keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
  2. dleDecember 23, 2018 at 2:19 PMOh, I am with you 100% on this. People can think I’m a nitpicker all they want, but the seemingly small details matter. And if people can’t get the small things right, that really makes me inclined to question anything else they have to say. I am so tired of hearing people refer to the FAFSA form for college aid by calling it the FASFA. And there is an animal shelter in my area called SICSA (Society for Improvement of Conditions for Stray Animals), yet most people call it SISCA….geez people!! 
    1. knottyDecember 23, 2018 at 2:54 PM Yeah… you’d think they could get five little letters right, especially when they are claiming to be an authority.
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Duggars, healthcare, law

Repost: It’s HIPAA, not HIPPA, for God’s sake!

I’m reposting this article that appeared in my original Blogspot version of The Overeducated Housewife on December 22, 2018. I’m mainly reposting it because I have an older post that linked to the original on Blogspot, and that blog is now private. I’m mostly leaving this as/is, so please keep that in mind. What was written in that post was current as of 2018, not 2023.

This morning, I read an interesting little tidbit on the Duggar Family News: Life is not all pickles and hairspray Facebook page (not to be confused with the Facebook group by the same name and run by the same person).  It seems that “Pickles”, who has sources in the Duggar family and regularly breaks Duggar gossip before it hits the press, got the news that John David Duggar, newly married to his wife, Abbie, was recently hospitalized.

Pickles states that the information she got was unconfirmed, but “seems reliable”.  A poster on the page chastised Pickles for sharing what she feels is personal information, particularly when the news is unverified.  It wasn’t long before a debate about the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 (HIPAA) started.  Poster after poster quoted their credentials as to why they know that law intimately.  Over half of them referred to the law as “HIPPA”.

I can understand why people do this so often.  HIPAA, when said out loud, sounds like “hippo”.  It’s counterintuitive to spell it HIPAA, with two a’s at the end.  However, HIPAA is an acronym.  It’s not a typical word.  Then, there’s also the auto-correct we’re all saddled with on almost every electronic device these days.  The computer thinks it knows better than the user does, and will “fix” things that don’t need fixing.  But then, “hippa” is also not a real word in English, so auto-correct should not be an issue in this case.

I was amazed by the number of “experts” who kept misspelling the acronym that represents the law they claim to know so well.  You’d think if the law was so well burned into their heads, they’d know how to spell the acronym properly.

I myself learned a little bit about HIPAA when I was earning my master’s degree in public health.  My focus of study was on what was then called “health administration (HADM)”.  The program from which I graduated later changed the name to Health Services Policy and Management (HSPM).  I’ve noticed other changes, both in the Arnold School of Public Health and the College of Social Work at the University of South Carolina in Columbia.  For example, when I was a student, both programs were strictly for graduate students.  Now, both programs offer bachelor’s degrees.  You can bet the people in those programs know which acronym is theirs.

Anyway, I know it sounds petty to be complaining about this.  God knows, despite having a degree in English, I don’t always do things exactly right when I write.  I guess it’s because the older I get, the more crotchety I become, particularly about petty issues.  I also think that when people claim to know something really well, to the point at which they qualify their statements with their credentials, they should be able to get a five letter acronym exactly right.  If you really know about HIPAA, and want me to believe that you know about it, then you should know that it’s not spelled “HIPPA”.

By the way, I doubt there are that many actual experts on the HIPAA law.  Indeed, have a look at the Wikipedia article about HIPAA.  It’s my understanding that HIPAA is a very complex piece of legislation that encompasses a lot of different areas regarding healthcare.  It’s not simply about your right to healthcare privacy; it’s also about taxes, application and enforcement of group health insurance requirements, fraud prevention, and a host of other things that I don’t feel like looking up right now.  So while many people do have to work within the HIPAA law, my guess is that they only know the part that specifically pertains to the work they do.

If I wanted to, I could provide screenshots of the “expert commentary” on the HIPAA law where self-described expert after expert refers to it as “HIPPA”.  I don’t feel like doing that, though, because it would mean my having to take the time to block out their names to protect their privacy.  I can’t be arsed to do that this morning, especially when anyone who really cares about this issue can simply check out the page.  The Duggar Family News page is open to all.  If this post were in the group, where one must be added by the admin, I might be more inclined to provide some cable.

As to John David Duggar and his possible hospital stay…  Well, honestly, I don’t care about it too much.  While I agree in principle that everyone is entitled to privacy, particularly when it comes to their healthcare, I also think the Duggars are public figures.  The adult Duggars who continue to stay in the “family business” kind of sign up for random people caring about why they’re in the hospital.

On the other hand, I personally believe that the Duggars’ fifteen minutes of fame probably should have been over a while ago.  I mean, they’re mostly famous for being fundie Christians and Michelle Duggar’s hyperactive womb.  A lot of what made them interesting, when they first came on the scene in the early 00s, are now relics of the past.  They’ve moved into the Tinkertoy Mansion, so we don’t see them all sleeping on top of each other like they did years ago.  The children no longer wear the frumpy, freakish, fundie uniforms they used to wear.  I mean, the girls still wear long skirts and flip flops, but they don’t wear the ugly homemade jumpers and lacy collared blouses.  The boys don’t wear the khaki pants and polo shirts.  A lot of the youngsters have graduated from the School of the Dining Room Table.  And some of the married women are now wearing pants and have piercings.

I don’t wish ill on any of the Duggars, per se.  I don’t even wish ill on “sex pest” Josh Duggar.  I just think that wondering why John David might have been hospitalized is a waste of time.  I’d rather wonder about other things, like whether or not there’s lint in my butt crack and bellybutton.  But that’s just me.

I just hope that if I’ve done one productive thing today, it’s to impart upon my readers that if you really want to seem knowledgeable about something, the first thing you should do is learn how to properly spell the name of your topic.  I don’t know about other people, but I have a hard time respecting a person’s so-called expert credentials about something when they keep misspelling its name… especially when the name consists of just five little letters.  But then, I’m also the type of person who gets annoyed when people write “breath” when they mean “breathe”, or “phase” when they mean “faze”, or “per say” when they mean “per se”.  To me, spelling is fundamental.  That’s why I’m still an overeducated housewife.

And below are the original comments from 2018. Here’s a link to the follow up post.

  1. AlexisARDecember 23, 2018 at 1:16 AM. I’m not tremendously concerned about John David’s hospital stay (real or imaginary) either, and neither am I an expert on medical privacy regulations beyond the common sense factors I need to know to avoid violating anyone’s privacy (in med school we had to pass shelf exams on the elements of HIPAA pertinent to us, but it’s mostly common sense), but unless the information concerning John David happened to have been disclosed without authorization by medical, insurance, or review board personnel with access to his information, would it be in any way relevant to HIPAA regulations?

    I’m still here for one more day before I return to the Great White North. Santa Barbara was gorgeous.
  2. RebeckahDecember 23, 2018 at 2:38 AM You’re right, Alexis — I’m a Homecare Aide and we have to know about the HIPAA privacy aspect (and pass annual tests about it too). If I were providing care in some way to John then I would violate his privacy (and violate HIPAA) if I told people about it. However, if is sister Mary Lou Who decided to share the news because she can’t stand the fact that he ate the last sugar cookie when she was 12 — well that’s just family for you. lol
  3. knottyDecember 23, 2018 at 5:50 AM. I couldn’t stand it, so I posted the correct spelling. Pickles’ response was “whatever”, which I find disappointing. Someone else flat out called me out and said I was wrong, which prompted me to provide a link to the law’s official Web page, proving I’m right. I know it makes me sound anal retentive, but I think people who want to act like they’re in the know about HIPAA should know the way to spell it. And I also got quite a few likes, so there’s the ego boost for that, too. Ha haha… I could use an ego boost.
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complaints

Social media is for assholes…

Sorry… it’s Monday morning, and I’m in a bad mood. I don’t recommend reading this post, unless you want to be in a bad mood, too. I woke up early and the smell of Arran’s food made me heave a few times. Then I checked Facebook and felt even crankier. It’s probably time for me to rethink being on social media. On the positive side, it does keep me connected to people. On the negative side, it keeps me connected to people. People get on my fucking nerves.

I have a laundry list of grievances this morning, mostly relating to social media and how grating it can be. I might as well start with Felicity Huffman. A lot of people are irritated that she only got 14 days in prison for her part in “Varsity Blues”. More than a few people hit the angry reaction in response to an article about Felicity Huffman’s sentence. Honestly, I don’t really get it. She’s not going to repeat the crime. She’s not a violent person or a career offender. And she’s taken responsibility and apologized profusely. What more do people want? Blood?

I have already stated that I think Huffman’s sentence is just. I still think that, even though people are pointing out other cases in which poor people of color got much harsher sentences for similar crimes. I am aware of formerly homeless mom Tanya McDowell’s 2011 case, in which she was sentenced to five years in jail for falsifying her address so that she could send her son to a better school. I think it’s extremely unfair that McDowell got so much time behind bars for her crime, although having read more about it, I have discovered that McDowell’s sentence wasn’t just because she falsified her address. McDowell’s sentence was the result of a plea bargain that included other charges, including some involving drugs.

For some reason, a lot of Americans seem to think jail is the answer to every societal ill. I think people lose sight of how many Americans are locked up and how warehousing people in prison ruins lives. Incarcerating people doesn’t just affect those behind bars; it also affects their family members and loved ones. Now, Felicity Huffman’s life won’t be ruined by her upcoming stint in prison, but the average person will have trouble bouncing back after being incarcerated. Locking people up is expensive for taxpayers, but it’s also a big business. Private prisons make money by keeping people behind bars. They aren’t in the business of rehabilitation; they’re in the business of enslaving people for profit while forcing them to wear used underwear.

So, while I understand people being upset by the disparity between Huffman’s sentence and McDowell’s sentence, I don’t think wishing more jail time for Huffman is the answer. Instead, we should fix the system that locks up people for committing non-violent crimes and profits off of keeping them locked up for as long as possible. But, I understand, hitting the angry reaction button on Facebook is a lot easier than actually doing something to rectify society’s problems.

Moving on

Yesterday, Bill and I spent the day together. It was a beautiful day, and we probably should have gone out and tried to do something fun, but I was feeling kind of tired and cranky. So we stayed home, and Bill baked a delicious Dutch apple pie. It was his first time, so he forgot to put foil on the edges of the pie crust. They got a little overly brown. Someone “helpfully” pointed out that foil on the edges would have prevented that. I have baked a lot of pies in my day, so I know about the foil trick. Bill now knows, too. The pie was still excellent, regardless. I probably should just focus on that, but instead, it was just the first in a series of unasked for help I received yesterday.

Did you ever notice how much people enjoy offering unsolicited advice? I’m sure most of the time, people want to be “helpful”. But, for some reason, it really chaps my ass when people offer “tips” I didn’t request.

For instance, last night, we were listening to the Eagles and I asked Bill if he knows what harmony is. Bill loves music, but he isn’t a musician. He didn’t quite get the concept, so I demonstrated it for him. We had kind of a cool conversation about harmony, so I posted about it on Facebook. I was really just sharing a “feel good” moment. Immediately, I got a bunch of suggestions about other bands or groups we could have been listening to. A little of that is okay, but this was a totally impromptu discussion that came about only because the Eagles were playing. I hadn’t prepared a lesson plan or anything, and wasn’t planning a lecture. We were just chatting.

And then, a guy shared a video of the song, “Hallelujah”. You know, the one written by Leonard Cohen? When I first heard that song on Shrek, I liked it. But now, it’s become so goddamned overrated that I just plain don’t care how great the harmonies are by some group I’ve never heard of. I don’t need to hear that song again… or, at least not for a very long time. The guy who shared the video doesn’t know that, of course… but I wonder what makes people feel like they have to offer “help” when none was requested.

I feel the same way about the version of “Over the Rainbow” done by Israel Kamakawiwo. It was poignant when it was used for Dr. Mark Greene’s death scene on ER, but then everyone was doing it and playing it, and it became super annoying. I’m sure the version of “Hallelujah” that was shared with me to demonstrate harmonies is awesome, but I wasn’t looking for more examples of great harmonies. I know Simon & Garfunkel harmonized well. So do Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young. So do a lot of other people. I was really just sharing a moment brought on by the Eagles. But I suppose it’s my fault for sharing that story in the first place.

People state the obvious…

What would the business owner have people do? Pee in their pants?

I shared this yesterday… which I actually shouldn’t have done, because it also annoys me when people use social media for preaching. To me, the point made by this picture is obvious. The person who owns this business isn’t really all that welcoming, after all. But someone commented that the restrooms are for paying customers. Got it, and in fact, my parents were small business owners with a bathroom that people sometimes made a mess in. But seriously, folks… when you gotta go, you gotta go. I would rather let someone use the facilities, than have them go pee in the street. And maybe that person who comes in to use your bathroom might actually decide to become a paying customer if you simply show them a little kindness and humanity. But then, as I type this, I realize how irritable I am this morning and how I probably wouldn’t be inclined to be that kindly myself.

Renee Alway is back in trouble.

I read this morning that Renee Alway, of America’s Next Top Model fame, is back in the big house. One of my most popular posts on my old blog was about Renee… and, in fact, a few people commented that claim to know her. I’m sorry to see she’s in trouble with the law again. This time, it’s for assault with a deadly weapon (not a firearm), two counts of infliction of corporal injury on a spouse or cohabitant, terrorist threats, a prior felony conviction, and a violation of parole. I genuinely liked Renee on ANTM, and I thought it was tragic that she fell into drug abuse and crime. I think it’s tragic that she’s back in trouble with the law now, although it doesn’t surprise me. But, you know? It annoys me that because some people are hellbent on making trouble for me, I have to keep my old blog locked down… at least for now. Maybe I’ll repost that entry about Renee, though, since I know people are interested in it. The comments were probably better than the article itself.

Ric Ocasek is dead.

Okay, so I know he was 75 years old, but I really like his music. It’s sad that Eddie Money recently died, too. Both of those guys contributed to the soundtrack of my youth, and losing them reminds me that I’m becoming an old fart myself. And I’m not really enjoying life as much as I should. Maybe I’m less upset that people have passed on and more jealous that I can’t join them. Being down here sometimes feels like a waste of time.

I looked up “roller fucking” on YouTube and got disappointing results.

I was hoping to find an old George Carlin routine about Olympic sports that didn’t quite make the grade. Instead, I got a lot of porn. It’s the same thing that happened when I searched for “bitchy landlady”. Instead of getting the results I was seeking, I got porn. Porn rules the world, y’all. And I am not interested in porn, although it might improve my mood.

Depression? PMS? Menopause? Burnout? A mixture?

I’ll admit, I am a bit irritable lately, for a lot of reasons. I think some of the reasons have to do with the onset of menopause. I felt very PMSy last week, and I should have gotten my period. It hasn’t shown up, but I have the symptoms of an impending visit from Aunt Flow. Add in the fact that I’m still mourning my dog while dealing with Arran, who has a bum foot. I have to take him to the vet again because he somehow cut his paw last week and was licking it so much that it couldn’t heal. He’s had a bandage for the past few days, and has substituted licking his asshole for licking his paw. I’m wondering if maybe he’s upset that Zane is suddenly gone and that’s made him nervous, or if we’re going to have another veterinary drama to attend to. Either way, the sound of a dog constantly licking his ass isn’t exactly peaceful or pleasant.

This video always cheers me up. I am a “bitchy” person today.

I think I’m also feeling a bit burned out on Germany. It’s not because I’m not happy with where we are now. It’s probably more because Germany is not really my home. I can’t even say that I miss the United States much, though. I don’t want to go back there… maybe I just need to visit my relatives and get a reminder as to why I’d rather be over here. But the idea of paying out the nose and being on a plane for hours on end isn’t very appealing, either. Especially since visiting my relatives is a risky proposition.

Bill is going to be away for most of this week. Maybe it’ll be a good thing. He’ll get a break from my irritable self. As it is, he asked me if I need to see a shrink. Yep… it’s a fucking Monday. I think I’ll go annoy myself with another episode of 7th Heaven and remind myself that at least I’m not a guy who made a name for myself playing an annoying minister on a popular TV show, only to be outed as a pervert years later…

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complaints, language

This bugs me…

This morning, as I was celebrating the fact that Bill gets to come home even earlier– as in today, instead of tomorrow, I went to RfM to see if anyone had posted anything interesting. Near the top of the list of posts was one called “My take on Donnie and Marie.” I apologize in advance, because this is going to make me sound even more hyper anal retentive than usual. But, before I even opened the thread, I was annoyed. Why? Because the person who wrote this post misspelled Donny Osmond’s name.

It bugs me when people misspell other people’s names, especially if the person is famous. Maybe it’s because I am a writer– in the sense that I write every day and majored in English– and proofreading and editing are a big part of that process. There’s something really lazy about misspelling a person’s name, particularly a common first name, like Donny. And when the person is famous, it’s especially annoying to me.

Maybe this is akin to people who get irritated when other people chew loudly. I have a couple of friends who suffer from misophonia, which is “select sound sensitivity syndrome” (try saying that four times fast!). A lot of times, people who have misophonia can’t stand certain sounds and, in my experience, most of these people don’t like the sound of someone else chewing. I can’t say that I enjoy the sound of a person chewing, but it probably doesn’t irritate me as much as off-key singing does.

What is even more annoying is when a person misspells a person’s name and then continues to misspell it. Oftentimes, when you correct the person, they get exasperated and claim it doesn’t matter. I think spelling matters, especially when it’s a person’s name. A person’s name is one of the most important things about them. These details matter. I’m always disappointed when someone says, “It’s no big deal. We know what was meant.”

I encountered that attitude a few months ago when I got involved in a discussion about HIPAA. People kept spelling it “HIPPA”. When I finally said something, people not only said it didn’t matter, but others actually told me I was wrong. I knew I wasn’t wrong and proved it, only to have the group owner say that “we all know what was meant.” But what if HIPPA stands for something else? A quick Google tells me that at this point, it doesn’t. In fact, if you search for HIPPA, you’ll get a suggestion for HIPAA. Instead of taking a minute to check this, people just insist that I’m wrong.

No one likes to be caught in a mistake, even though everybody makes them. I don’t like it any more than another person does. However, I think when that happens, it’s better to just swallow your pride and learn the lesson. That way, you don’t look uninformed and no one will feel the need to correct you.

Anal retentive Bree sewing on a button for the shrink…

When it comes to names, though, I think spelling is especially important. A person’s name is a very personal thing. Donny Osmond probably doesn’t pay attention to people who spell his name Donnie. I don’t care enough about this issue or that person’s thread to go back and correct the spelling. It’s just that whenever I see it, it sticks out like a sore thumb. I’m reminded of an early episode of Desperate Housewives, when Bree Van de Kamp was visiting her therapist. She sees that he has a loose button on his jacket and insists on mending it right then and there because it was bugging her.

Power struggle between Bree and Rex’s mom.

Same as when her husband, Rex, dies suddenly. Rex’s mother insists on burying him in a school tie that looks ridiculous. Bree is compelled to change the tie. Actually, the scene is kind of funny, since Bree is easily able to pull Rex to an almost sitting position. I would have expected him to be stiff as a board by that point.

Maybe I have a little Bree in me, although I’m not nearly as polished as she is, and I’m not as uptight about certain things like whether or not there’s dog hair in the door jamb. I am uptight about other things, like spelling, grammar, diction, and pitch. I’d probably be better off if I were a more relaxed person, but it’s not really in my nature. I’m probably a product of my environment and upbringing, just like everyone is.

Well, hopefully Bill will be home by late afternoon. I look forward to seeing him again and hope we can salvage the weekend before he has to work another seven day week.

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