love, marriage, music, politicians, politics

Happy anniversary to us… let’s hope Putin and Trump don’t make it our last…

Last night, as we were having a much too spicy dinner from Lieferando (food delivery), Bill and I read about how a missile somehow struck Poland near the Ukrainian border. A couple of people were killed. Bill, being in the business he’s in, immediately got concerned, since Poland is a member of NATO. This morning, I’m waking up to the news that Biden says the missile was likely not fired from Russia. The missile was apparently Russian, but may have been fired from Ukraine or somewhere else. Still, it raises the fears of people who worry that World War III could be on the horizon. It’s especially bad that this happened in Poland, where there is a US military presence. Three years ago, Bill and I actually went to Poland for our anniversary, because he had to work there for a week. I’ve come to love Poland, and its people.

I’m also learning that– BIG SURPRISE– Donald Trump is running for president again in 2024. Of course we knew this would happen. Trump won’t stop trying to be president again as long as there is breath in his bloated orange body. I just hope he does his part to stop DeSantis from being president. It’s time we moved on from the whole Trump schtick and elected people who are young and smart enough to do a good job, and people who actually care about others, instead of enriching themselves and getting drunk on power.

I suppose history is being made right now. It’s always being made, actually, but some times are obviously more historic than others are. This time will probably be very historic in the future. Maybe it will even be on par with the Hitler era. But I hope it won’t… and I hope we can enjoy our anniversary weekend in France. James Taylor was able to play his show in Stockholm last night, although I don’t know how it went. He’s going to Copenhagen next, then will appear in Frankfurt, if all goes well. I always find great comfort and solace in James Taylor’s music. I always have, especially when I was much younger and suffered acutely from depression and anxiety. I know he had those demons, too, and his actually led to a stay at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts… a place where Ex once stayed, too. I don’t think her treatment was quite as effective, though. In any case, it seems that James is suffering less from mental health issues now, and more from things like COVID… which is another bad thing that makes life more difficult for all of us.

We need to bring back Bobby McFerrin.

I think what helps me to cope is realizing that there have been times that were as bad or worse than now. Or maybe it was always as bad, just in different ways, and the scope of badness depended a lot on where a person happened to be at the time. I’m sure, for instance, that World War II was more horrifying for Europeans than it was for Americans. And the same would be true for World War I. It looks like the same would be true in case of World War III, since it seems to be provoked by Putin. But there were things going on in the United States during those times that would also make life harder. Having a corrupt, incompetent, blowhard fool like Trump in charge again would certainly make things worse for many of us. Those who like Donald Trump are blind and ignorant to who he really is. I just hope there aren’t enough of them to put him in power again. I am optimistic, though, thanks to last week’s elections. We showed that most of us are not that stupid… at least not anymore.

There’s nothing any of us can do about the missile strike in Poland, so there’s no reason to worry. But Bill and I can have a nice time in France, and then, hopefully, enjoy James Taylor one more time. I hope it won’t be the last time… but again, none of us are getting any younger. There’s always an asshole lurking in the midst, waiting for the chance to step into power. I fear Trump less than I do the more polished looking turds who are waiting to seize the chance to get in power. Trump, at least, is brutally honest about who he is. We’ve all been warned. And maybe he will prevent a slicker version of himself from entering the White House. Meanwhile, I hope we can elect someone who can do something about Putin, who really seems hellbent on world destruction. He’s a much bigger threat and danger to the world than Trump is, especially right now.

Anyway… I smell breakfast cooking, and I have a couple of chores to do before we can light out of here for Alsace. I’ll probably write while we’re in France, because we’ll have the dogs with us, and that might limit our ability to do a lot of stuff. But I do look forward to the change of scenery, and some lovely new wines… Maybe we’ll fit in a few tastings.

Happy Wednesday! By the way… this song played on my HomePod last night. It seems almost weirdly appropriate. Wonder what ever happened to Bobby McFerrin… I was in high school when this was a hit. Time flies!

1988… things used to be better, right?
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Ex, narcissists, politicians, politics, Trump

Battening down the hatches and bracing for impact…

This morning, I’ve been listening to pundits talk about Donald Trump’s “special announcement”. I think we all know that Trump is going to announce his run for the 2024 presidential election. Or, at least that’s a very likely scenario, as Trump hasn’t made it a secret that he intends to run. But… he’s doing so against the wishes of people close to him. Melania doesn’t want to be FLOTUS again. Ivanka wants to focus on her kids. Jared Kushner has distanced himself. Tiffany just got married, and no doubt wants no part of her father’s ridiculous and increasingly desperate antics in his bid to stay relevant. And… it looks like the Republican Party would like Trump to go away, too.

Yes, the Republicans totally deserve this turn of events.

Of course, had the midterm elections been more in favor of the Republicans, I’m sure the politicians would be fully supporting Trump right now. But as we all know, the supposed “red wave” that so many people were predicting simply didn’t come to fruition. Election deniers and extremist Trump loyalist “crazies” mostly didn’t succeed in winning their races. The more “normal” Republicans, desperate to save their party, have tried to get Trump to go away. Sadly, it doesn’t work like that with narcissists. Especially when they’ve gotten close to something they value. Once a narcissist has had someone or something, they usually can’t let go of it, even after they’ve devalued and discarded it.

I will caveat that last comment with a disclaimer. Bill has had encounters with some narcissists who did totally walk away, seemingly forever. For instance, his old “war buddy”, who was very publicly fired for abusing troops in Iraq, hasn’t been in contact with Bill in years. He may never hear from him again. Or, maybe he will… like, if they run into each other somehow. If war buddy sees Bill, he will be reminded that Bill is a super nice and thoughtful person who can do things for him. That former supply would be like fresh meat to the war buddy, and then he might want to tap into that. But, right now, Bill is out of sight and out of mind. He currently isn’t obviously useful to his old war buddy. If that should ever change, I would not put it past him if, somehow if he was reminded of that supply, he decided to try to worm his way back into Bill’s existence and mess with things. This is why it’s so important to go no contact with narcissists. It’s easier said than done with some people.

Trump, as a malignant narcissist, can’t stand being labeled a loser. He had a taste of being the most powerful man on Earth. In spite of his disparaging comments about the White House, Trump LOVED being president, if only because it made him so very powerful. He was in the news every day. He’s still in the news today, but not for the right reasons. He wants that power and esteem back, and if he ever gets it, he won’t ever want to let it go again. I think Trump as POTUS again would be a huge disaster. I think the more normal people in the Republican Party can see it, too. But now, they have a monster on their hands, and slaying him won’t be easy. He won’t go away quietly, and won’t stop trying to get what he thinks is his until he’s dead. Unfortunately, there are a lot of disenfranchised, unhinged, misinformed people out there who will not stop championing their hero, Trump… who wouldn’t deign to piss on them if they were on fire.

I am so grateful to sensible voters, particularly in Generation Z, who rejected the extremist right wing rhetoric being promoted by Trump and his acolytes. Trumpism is rapidly going out of style, but unfortunately, the Republican Party opened a Pandora’s Box. Trump is like the worst drug seeker, trying to get that hit again… that hit of power and influence that is the sweetest fuel to a narcissist of his caliber.

Republicans, noting that their influence is rapidly dwindling, in part due to Trump, are now scrambling to right things. Some have even proposed raising the voting age, to keep the tolerant youth from influencing elections. Meanwhile, their elderly base is slowly, and literally, dying off. And I’m afraid Trump’s influence is here to stay for awhile, even if Trump himself doesn’t get back into office. I won’t be surprised if he ends up forming his own party, which will split some voters away from the Republican Party.

The voting age is a Constitutionally protected right, but some Republicans want to change that.

You see, this is why I think people really should learn about narcissists and narcissism. Too many people– especially high ranking, and likely very narcissistic people themselves– didn’t understand that unrelenting and insatiable narcissistic thirst for supply and power. It’s like a drug for them. And for a guy like Trump, being the POTUS is the most potent hit of power there is. It’s killing him that Joe Biden beat him. He can’t accept it, and won’t stop trying to get back in power until he’s dead. So that people who put him in power have created a monster, and they will have to deal with him until Trump inevitably dies or becomes so disabled that he can no longer meddle with the Republican Party’s business. Once something or someone becomes a source of supply, they don’t ever totally let go or forget, even if someone or something is out of sight, out of mind for awhile.

Look at my husband’s narcissistic ex wife. She has negatively affected so many people– even people like me, who have never met her in person. That, in a way, is a form of legacy that is powerful. But her presence, by those who know who and what she is, is rarely welcomed. Even close family members don’t want her around, and don’t want contact with her. She continues to try to claim them, even if they have tried to set boundaries. And what’s very sad for people directly connected to Ex is that the people they have relationships become part of the network. My husband’s stepmother is now in Ex’s network, even though she wouldn’t even know Ex if not for Bill. Younger daughter’s husband is now in Ex’s network because he married Ex’s daughter. Even I am in her network, due to my connection with her ex husband. When I Google myself or Bill, invariably, one or more of those Spokeo type Web sites come up. I see my name affiliated with Ex’s, even though we’ve never been in the same room. Why? Because we were married to the same man, and now share acquaintances and relations.

And yet, I have found that when those of us in her network get together, we all have similar stories to tell. Most of her direct victims don’t want to be near her again. She keeps trying to infiltrate, though. I have no doubt whatsoever that if I weren’t married to Bill and she thought he was available, she WOULD contact him and try to re-establish contact. We’ve seen her do it repeatedly, especially to anyone who can give her what she wants. What she wants is money, people to do the work of daily living for her, and people to prop up her image. She doesn’t actually care about other people, and is completely incapable of love. She says she loves, but she doesn’t, really. It’s all fake, although she expects real love from other people. She can’t reciprocate. She doesn’t know what love is. She just wants what comes from good people– love, regard, respect, but most of all, money, power, and resources. And she always leaves them weakened, damaged, and poorer, just as if she was a vampire who’s sucked away some of their blood.

Trump, likewise, loves no one but his own false image, and simply wants to drain the American people. He loves nothing but power and money. He is an empty shell of a person, delusional and suffering from extreme withdrawal. That makes him desperate. Eventually, he will weaken, but not before he does a lot of damage… even more than he’s already done. So I hope the Republicans are satisfied with what they’ve wrought. They’re about to go through a NASTY divorce with Trump, not unlike the one Bill experienced. And there will be a “custody fight” over the will of the nation.

I hope some of the ones who aren’t narcissists themselves will learn more about what narcissism is, and what narcissistic people do. It’s the only way to vaccinate oneself against their lies, manipulations, distortions of reality, gaslighting, and overall craziness. While most people have narcissistic traits, people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder are a whole ‘nother ball of wax. I am convinced that Trump has NPD off the scales. And I suspect Ex does, too.

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politicians, politics, Trump

Trump is gearing up for another go at being POTUS… I can’t stand it.

The above photo is a screenshot that is enough to inspire nightmares. On another note, I doubt Trump ever had a physique like that one. He’s the Eric Cartman of world leaders.

Last night, as I struggled to fall asleep, I read an article about how Donald Trump is chomping at the bit to run for president again. The idea of another four years with him running the White House is enough to give me anxiety induced indigestion. I really hate the idea of it. But I am not surprised he’s gearing up for another run, since he’s a malignant narcissist who can’t lose with dignity. And he doesn’t seem to know when the party is over and it’s time for him to go home.

I know there are still many people in the United States who would dearly love to see Trump run and win again. Lots of people I grew up with– many of whom are, pardon the expression, total rednecks– feel like Trump is the one president who didn’t ignore them and spoke up for their needs. What they don’t seem to understand, though, is that Donald Trump actually disdains people who are just “plain folks”. They seem to think Trump would invite them over to his house for a well done steak covered with ketchup and watch football and pitch horseshoes with them, or something. That’s not the case at all.

Donald Trump disdains people he thinks of as “losers”, and that would certainly include people who aren’t wealthy, well-connected, or very good looking. At the same time, he’s threatened by people who are winners. He would rather those people work to elevate him, rather than congratulate them on their own successes and encourage them to keep succeeding. Unless, of course, he can somehow parlay their successes into something he can use for himself and his agenda.

Some time ago, I remember seeing a cartoon posted on social media depicting Trump sitting at an old fashioned soda counter next to a small child. In the drawing, Trump looks “fit” and muscular, and leans over to a boy wearing a pro-Trump t-shirt. The caption was, “Don’t worry kid, we’re coming back.” It depicted Trump as this old fashioned, all American, God fearing, heroic, great guy, who loves children, families, and the American way. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The reality is, Donald Trump is just a con man with racist and “rapey” proclivities. He’s always been that way, and he will always be that way. He’s a narcissist, and they don’t change, nor do they do anything that isn’t strictly for them, and their agenda. That’s what makes him a disastrous failure as a “leader”. Moreover, I don’t see Trump getting that close to anyone who hasn’t made his dick hard. He is reportedly a germaphobe, and I strongly doubt he has much affection for children, even ones who wear pro-Trump t-shirts. He especially has disgraceful attitudes toward girls.

Recently, I read that Donald Trump is being asked not to publicly declare his candidacy for the presidential run in 2024. This is because people are afraid he will upset the midterm elections. Many voters are still reeling from the shit Trump did when he was in office, and I think Republicans are hoping they can somehow sway those people to vote red again after another year with Biden at the helm. A lot of people don’t like Joe Biden, and I think Republicans are hoping for more time to show that Biden isn’t a good president. But Trump is probably not going to listen to the powers that be in the Republican party. Why? Because he’s a narcissist, and narcissists don’t listen to other people. They do what they want, other people and their needs be damned.

Kellyanne Conway’s husband, George, gets it.

I also think that many Republicans secretly realize that they have created a monster in Donald Trump. He will not stop interfering in politics, now that he’s gotten a taste of the power that comes from being president. It will probably take his death to stop him. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis, who apparently is also eyeing a bid for the White House, used to champion Trump, and Trump championed him. But now, Trump sees DeSantis as a threat, and is trying to psych him out of a presidential run by calling him a loser. Frankly, I would absolutely hate to have DeSantis as president, either… but I do think this situation is an example as to why people should never have trusted Trump. He has no honor and no loyalty, and he does not care about anyone but himself. Trump doesn’t support his supporters. He thinks of them as chumps.

In fact, Mike Pence’s former coronavirus advisor, Olivia Troye, made a video last year slamming Trump. In that video, she noted that he was much more concerned about being re-elected than preventing deaths from the pandemic. According to Troye, Trump said:

“…maybe this Covid thing is a good thing… I don’t like shaking hands with people. I don’t have to shake hands with these disgusting people…”

Of course, Trump and Pence both claimed that Troye was just a “disgruntled former staffer” who wanted to say bad things about Trump. But what about the time Trump referred to America’s military war dead and injured as “losers and suckers”? This from a man who didn’t do his part in Vietnam, due to “bone spurs”… and yet, many people in the military still think Trump is “da man”. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I have up close and personal knowledge of how many people in the military become indoctrinated to the cause and their leadership, especially when the leader is a Republican.

I read another article about Melania Trump’s former press secretary, Stephanie Grisham, who is now throwing the Trumps under the bus in a new tell-all book. I haven’t decided if I will read her book, since I hate to give money to someone who fully supported the Trump regime and is now very much a hypocrite. I may decide to read the book, simply because it may have some truth in it worth revealing. Like it or not, Grisham was privy to a lot of “tea” during her stint in the White House. And she has publicly said, “I am terrified of him running for president in 2024…” Grisham says that it would be all about revenge if Trump were to run. Grisham further states that she believes if he won, Trump would push “some very draconian policies” shaped by his base.

In other words, he would not have to worry about re-election, so we could all look forward to Trump becoming completely unhinged, and feeling totally emboldened to act like a crazed monkey throwing shit at the masses. It would be a disaster. Human rights and any policy devoted to decency, cooperation, and democracy would go down the shitter. I would expect a lot of people to become disabled and/or die, too, because of more gun violence, disease caused by public health and health system failures, and irresponsible health choices associated with poorer safety and wellness. Trump is not, for instance, a leader who encourages people to take care of themselves and other people. He encourages people to be selfish, irresponsible assholes, like him.

But people love junk food, and lots of people love Trump, because he is the political equivalent of junk food. He’s a “hamberder and fries” to the “grilled turbot and steamed vegetables” of more liberal candidates. Which isn’t to say that I would want the “tofu and bean sprouts” of an extremely left wing candidate, either. I support moderates, and candidates who have everyone’s best interests at heart. I support leaders who care about other people, not just half-cocked, drunken uncle types, who only care about fat wallets and their own sexual gratification.

Trump supporters see Trump as being for their brand of “freedom”, which is all about their individual liberties– except for when it comes to private health decisions made by pregnant women. They don’t want the government dictating how they spend their money, what they wear on their faces, or if they get a vaccine to protect themselves and their communities against a deadly novel virus. They want to ignore all of the dangers of today and live their lives as if it was still 1955, and women were barefoot and pregnant, people of color “knew their places” in society, and conservative white men were on top of things. It really is nauseating if you think about it for long and you have any sense of decency.

A screenshot from the insurrection on January 6. If Trump comes back, I expect more of the same.

I read this morning that some of the people who stormed the Capitol on January 6, 2021 are starting to get their punishments for trying to overthrow the government. One story was about a guy from San Antonio who got sentenced for 45 days in jail for traveling to DC, being part of the mob, and spending twelve minutes in the Capitol building. The guy hadn’t actually engaged in violence or vandalism, but the judge noted that he’d made a conscious choice not to respect the results of the 2020 election. These folks were cheered on by Donald Trump. He encouraged them to riot in his name. I only hope that some of the people who were involved in the January 6th rioting get a clue and cast their votes differently in 2024. I don’t think the United States can survive another Trump presidency.

I truly do get being conservative. I understand wanting to vote Republican. But PLEASE– let’s find someone to run who is not a complete sociopath. Let’s find someone with a conscience who cares, on some level, about other people. It’s true that most politicians are a bit narcissistic, but Donald Trump is narcissistic on an epic scale. We can, and should, do much better than voting him in again. It’s time for all decent people to pull their heads out of their own asses, open their eyes, and see beyond the bullshit. Vote for people, not parties.

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